Seeking Help with Weening

hi J.,
I have three kids soon to be 16,7 and 4 I breastfed all 3. My oldest was the hardest to ween. You have to say this is the day and just be strong and don't give in. With my oldest son I had to go as far as putting band aides over it and tell him mommy has an owie. It took a while for him to realize that he wasn't going to have it anymore but it worked. good luck.

Hi J.,
From everything I have read, if you can go from breastfeeding right to a sippy cup, you are doing great. If she doesn't want the bottle, don't give it to her. You'll just have something else to wean her from later on. Good luck.

Hi J.-

I would wait on the weaning until she is now longer sick--it's a totally natural reaction for her to want to nurse while she's sick--both for comfort and also because the milk is easy for her to digest and get nourishment.

In terms of the sippy cup, after several different types of cups, I recently bought the born free cup with training top--this was after reading great reviews. She loves it. I do know of a few people whose kids have gone right to drinking from a regular cup. It's messier, obviously, but maybe she'll do it. Best of luck!

How about a little switch??? Try putting your milk in her sippy cup. It is a taste she is familiar with and should like. Then gradually change the ratio of breast milk to milk. (at the same time you are gradulaly reducing the amount you pump out for those cups) I have done that successfully in the past with some of my kids :)

I was planning on weaning when my daughter (then 13 months)became ill with a deadly bacteria in her G.I. tract. I began to nurse her again as she couldn't keep anything solid down. She was hospitalized, had surgery and recovered quite well and I nursed her through it all. She would not take bottle. When she was strong enough again to eat soild foods I began to wean for the second time. Like your child she refused to be weaned to the bottle and drank only from a sippy cup. I began by holding her close, but giving her the cup instead of the breast. Then I moved to putting her in her feeding chair or playpen while she drank from her sippy cup. It only took a couple of weeks for her to realize that she needed to drink from the cup and not from me. After that we were able to snuggle without her constantly pulling at my shirt. Hope this helps!!

J.,
Don't feel to bad I have a 2yr old daughter almost three in a couple of months. I too stay home with her. I am still breastfeeding, but only twice a day. In the morning when she wakes, and at night before she sleeps, I only got that far. I have not totally weened her yet, because I want her to stay on until she is three. I will stop completly (cold turkey)on her third B-day. I did so for my first child, which I found was easier to do but he was a boy and I am dealing with a girl it was hard cutting her down to twice a day. My son understood what the word "no" meant. I am also glad that both stayed on for so long, my kids are healthy. My advice is let her breast feed until three. Stop completly at three, she will not starve like she thinks she is.

Hi J.,
I am a former La Leche League leader. First of all, I want to congratulate you on nursing! I can assure you, your precious child will wean. It is helpful to realize nursing is also comfort to your little girl. So, when she is sick, she will naturally want to nurse.
May I suggest that you offer her some juice before the breast? Breast milk is sweet, and generally babies do not want regular milk or formula when sick. If she is "full" she will nurse less. Milk (cow's) produces more mucous, which is a challenge when a toddler has a cold.
It is a simple law of supply and demand. The less she nurses, the less milk you produce. Give her some time, and relax. It will be over before you know it.

Hi J.,

I just finally weaned my 15 month old and it was somewhat of a nightmare but I was ready to be done nursing. You have to be ready mentally to do it or it will not work if your child loves to nurse like mine did. I was stressing about weaning her for awhile and decided it is not worth stressing over since there was not a really good reason to wean her so I nursed her a few months longer until I was absolutely ready to wean her. After I made my mind up I held firm.

My daughter was a little like yours in which she did not like to take milk in a bottle or sippy cup only water. I kept offering her milk in a sippy cup everyday several times a day until she finally started liking cows milk. She also did like yours did when I had her down to two or three times a day and then did a back slide because she got really sick and wanted to nurse a lot so I let her and had to start the process over again.

I had my husband help in that when she wanted to nurse and he was home I would give her to him and she would either get distracted or he could get her to take a sippy cup. My main problem with weaning was that I let her nurse to sleep and she was having difficulty making the transition and I had no clue how to get her to sleep without nursing her. I found a great book called "Good Night Sleep Tight" which helped me get her off of nursing to sleep then I just had to be strong.

My child is extremely strong willed and can throw the tantrums already, but I held strong and dropped one feeding a week until I eventually got her weaned. My husband had to help especially around the times that she was used to nursing to help get her distracted. It was definately not easy for me anyway and I will do things a lot differently with my next child but hang in there. I have bought book after book and only got a little help out of them. You have to find what will work for you.

J.-Kudos to you for nursing so long! I literally JUST weaned my 13 month old this weekend (it was bittersweet, but we were ready). I did it gradually (the books say over a couple weeks), but I took about 6 weeks or so. I was working full-time and first cut down on pumping, and was down to the AM and PM feedings only. I cut out the AM by having my husband going in to get our son and we gave him a new toy to play with for those times. We offered a cup of milk and gave breakfast earlier. Then it was on to the evening feeding...he gradually became more and more distracted, so when he did, I would switch sides and start talking to him. At that point, we would start reading a story and/or playing his music. My son is not allowed to watch TV yet, but I would have the TV going during the sessions and this helped to distract him a little. Now, we eat dinner, have a cup of milk, take a bath, brush teeth and read stories. He cries a little longer (maybe 15 minutes) but with his music and his snugglies he can do it on his own. The two biggest things I think are to have another caregiver to help and to maybe give her a new, exciting toy or book for those times. Another point-I think we have every sippy cup on the market before we finally found ones that work, and he loves the straw cups the most! Hope that helps. I think that if we can do it, anyone can! He was VERY attached to nursing!

Hi J.. I know that I had the samae problem when it came time to ween my 22 month old son. If your child is already drinking out of a sippy cup, don't feel like you have to give her a bottle. She will probably take milk in a cup, too. The only way I was able to ween was to actually be seperated from my son for one night. We only did night feedings at this point. My mom took him for the night, not knowing she was helping me ween, and he never asked again. I know how difficult it is. Like I said, try the cup instead of a bottle. Even if you pump breastmilk into a cup it will probably help her more than not trying it. Good Luck!!

I know this sounds harsh but it works. I have two friends who did it and it worked. You explain to your child that mommys breast are hot the next time she feeds or explain it in a way that your child will understand. Put HOT SAUCE on your nipples before you breastfeed. It doesn't have any effect on you and it will probably ween your child. One friend had to do it a couple of times and the other only had to do it once. Try it, it may be the answer.

Instead of a sippy cup try a regular cup or a cup with a straw with milk. Something new may distract her and the novelty of a big girl cup (carefully supervised) may provide that distraction from wanting to nurse.

Also, I weened my son gradually by cutting out all evening feedings and only nursing first thing in the morning. It was harder adjusting to the new nighttime routine, it took over a week. Then I gave him a few more weeks of morning nursing. On the day I cut out the moring feeding, I gave him a cup of milk. He cried for about 15 minutes and it broke my heart, but after that he seemed to be over it. I also provided him with lots of stuff to do in the mornings as well as a big breakfast to help distract him.

Hope this helps - good luck!

You might think about taking a weekend away. I have a friend that worked really well for. As long as she has no problems that the doctor would worry about, it'd be fine. She'll get thirsty, but she'll figure it out. It takes about 3 days, I think for your milk to dry up. Make sure to wear new bra and shirt when she sees you again so she doesn't smell what she's been missing. I'm sure somem other mom's have some other ideas. My boys just really went with the program. I know being sick complicates it. GL

Hi J.! I understand your frustration. I started weaning my now two year old when she was eleven months due to the fact that I pregnant with number two. (Oh and she never took a bottle either.) I would just recommend waiting until after she is over her sickness. It is not very much fun weaning while they are sick plus they just want the comfort. I remember having a few setbacks for the same reasons. It sounds like you had the right idea by cutting out the day feedings. Keep on trying with the sippy cup. She will get it eventually. You might want to start her on a vitamin, if you have not already. My doctor recommended one for use when we were going through the weaning process just to help supplement. That might help her immune system as well. Wait until she is feeling better then try again.

I certainly would recommend that you attend a local LLL meeting to get support on weaning and toddlers and nursing.

In general, the advice on weaning tends to be "don't offer, but don't refuse." If you want to follow "mother-led" weaning, you can also actively distract the baby from nursing during the times that the baby would normally nurse, including doing things like avoiding having the baby see your naked breasts and generally work to avoid nursing stimuli...

You can also research the advantages of nursing into toddlerhood. There are lots of good reasons to continue nursing into the second year of life. There are wonderful benefits to both mom and baby (lowered risk of breast cancer, continued calming effect that prolactin has on nursing moms, immunological factors for baby, and human milk continues to provide lots of great nutrition for those picky toddler eaters! to name just a few)

Ultimately, finding other mothers who share your values is important and getting support for your direction...

FWIW, I nursed my two for much longer than I ever thought I would, and I'm glad I did.

Good luck, and I hope that this information was helpful to you!

Go out of town without the wee little one for 3 or 4 days and let them dry out!!!There is no turning back if they dont work any more....

Keep it up. Weaning is not an easy process! My little boy did the same thing. He wouldn't take any milk from a sippy until I had completely stopped breastfeeding. I would always double check with your doctor first, but I think your girl will be just fine without milk for a little while if she's getting other milk products--like cheese or yogurt.

Good luck! Just keep with it and it will happen!

MS.

I just weened my 13 mo old, and she as the same way, NEVER took a bottle. I just had to be persisitant and offer her a the sippy cup w/ milk. It took about 3 weeks, and some whinnig from her, and now we are all done with the boobie. I think the thing that helped me the most was making sure we still had plenty of cuddle time that way she still felt close. Good luck and hang in there, I promise it does get easier.

Once I weened my son I decided that milk or a bottle were not good for him, so I basically give him water. He gets all of his nutrition from food and he has never been sick besides a stuffy nose. (I weened him at a year as well). The best thing is to not let her see you unclothed and just distract her when she usually nurses. Just make sure she is full when she goes to bed. Good luck! Oh, and don't forget that you will get a little engorged when you finally stop. Cabbage works!

Well I weaned my daughter late she was actually 20 mos when we were done but I did it slowly. I started with day time feedings. Then I worked on those harder night time feedings she was more attached to. Now it fine he doesn't take a bottle but will he take juice or milk out of a sippy cup?? I weaned my daughter from the bottle at 12mos but since she loved breast feeding she really did not like it. GOOD LUCK!!

Hi J.,

Just to back up a bit, why are you weaning your daughter? If it's because she's a year and you SHOULD wean then, consider waiting a while. Your sweet baby will be weaned before she goes to college, I promise!

If not, weaning is a process, sometimes easy (you're busy), and sometimes hard (she's sick and wants to comfort). Forward and backward sounds like a typical weaning pattern to me, so don't beat yourself up. If she nurses while she's sick, no worries. When she's better, try again.

Be sure that you're giving her lots of emotional encouragement and cuddling--sometimes when our children are weaning we avoid a lot of contact so they don't get ideas, if you know what I mean. My children both love this mole I have on my arm, and during the weaning time I'd make time to snuggle them and they'd rub my mole. If you have some similar comforting aspect (they play with your hair, they rub your tummy, you hold their feet, etc), try to continue with that. It may help a lot.

As for the bottle/cup thing, I personally think it's great she won't take a bottle. You won't have to wean her from one. Encourage her! If you're worried that she's not getting enough to drink, offer her frozen juice bars, at least while she's sick. Give her soup, etc.

Meanwhile, take care of yourself. Weaning is an emotional time for you, too. Honor the process, and hang in there!

K.

Why are you trying to wean? Long-term breastfeeding is great for kiddos and you alike. Our 20-month-old loves to nurse and I encourage it because I know it is healthy and illness-preventing and also comforting when he is upset or sick, and it's also convenient for travel. The World Health Organization recommends nursing for a MINIMUM of two years. Give it a try!

I am currently weaning my 14 month old son. It has been a tad tricky because loves to nurse. I am down to 2-3 times per day. A couple of weeks ago he had a cold and all he wanted to do was nurse. While it wasn't great for slowing the milk supply it wasn't that big of a deal when his cold was over. He was back to eating normal food and didn't seem to need to nurse as much. He doesn't take a bottle either and is very content drinking water out of his sippy. I am not a big fan of giving milk to my babies so in my opinion, water is just fine. Just take one day at a time and let her signal to you as she is ready to finish up. I am hoping to be done sometime this month!! :) Good luck to you.