Seeking Help with Kids on Opposite Ends of the Food Spectrum

YOU ARE IN THE SAME BOAT AS ME. MY DAUGHTER IS 8 1/2 AND 60 POUNDS, AND MY SON IS 6 AND 72 POUNDS. MY PED. SAID TO LET MY DAUUGHTER GAIN WEIGHT AS SHE DOES. WE HAVE TRIED THE INSTANT BREAKFAST, HIGH CALORIE DIETS(MILKSHAKES, EAT WHATEVER) NOTHING WORKED. SO AFTER TEST TO MAKE SURE SHE HAD NO UNDERLYING MEDICAL REASON HE GAVE UP. SHE IS REALLY TALL BUT SKINNY. MY SON IS STOCKY. HE TOLD ME TO LIMIT HIS INTAKE, BUT HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THAT TO A CHILD? SO I JUST MAKE SURE HE PLAYS A LOT, AND CHANGED MY COOKING HABITS. HE HAS NOT LOST, BUT HE HAS NOT GAINDED. I AM AFRAID IF WE PARENTS ENFORCE THESE "DIETS" OUR KIDS WILL THINK BAD OF THEMSELVES AND HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM. SO INSTEAD OF SINGLING HIM OUT OR SAYING ANYTHNG, I HAVE JUST CHANGED EVERYBODY'S. NOT ONLY THE COOKING HABITS MENTIONED, BUT I ALSO COOK LESS SO THERE IS NOT AS MUCH SO YOU CAN'T KEEP GOING BACK FOR SECONDS, I ALSO PUT SMALL AMOUNTS ON PLATES THAT WAY IF THEY GO BACK IT IS LIKE THE SERVING I USED TO GIVE THEM. I AM CHANGING THINGS SLOWLY SO MY KIDS DON'T REALLY SEE IT. AND MY DAUGHTER THAT IS SMALL HAS ACTUALLY GAINED A FEW POUNDS BECAUSE OF THE BETTER NUTRITION. WE ALSO DON'T HAVE AS MUCH JUNK FOD HERE, IT IS ACTUALLY A TREAT INSTEAD OF A CRUTCH. I TOO HAVE ALWAYS BEEN OVERWEIGHT MY WHOLE LIFE. MY PARENTS AS WELL AS MAJORITY OF MY FAMILY ARE. SO I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU.

The main thing you need to do is make sure they are both eating healthily, not make sure one is eating a lot and one is eating a little. Sugary things and caffeine will keep your daughter's system in high gear, so make sure they're both eating lots of fruits and veggies. Whole grain pastas are good, as well. Kids need lots of protein and calcium to keep their muscles and bones strong as they're growing, so make sure they both get enough of that too. Encourage them both to eat until they're full. If they're eating healthy, the portions aren't such a huge concern, but if you think they're not eating enough, institute some rules. (You have to finish your plate before you can leave the table, etc.)

Definitely control your son's snacking when it's at inappropriate times, but I wouldn't curb it completely. Keep healthy snacks around the house, like low fat/fat free pretzels (good w/ low fat sour cream, peanut butter, melted cheese, or even yogurt), fruits, celery, carrots, whatever. When you see him snacking on something that's not good for him, hand him something else that is. Either he'll suck it up, and eat the healthier item, or he won't snack.

Also, I don't know if your kids eat breakfast or not, but make sure they do. Something with protein and whole grains (maybe a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios and a couple strips of bacon/turkey bacon or some yogurt). Protein is great for kids in the morning... It helps keep them full until lunch break at school and helps them focus in the morning.

My 9 year old daughter weighs only 42lbs and my 7 year old daughter weighs 63lbs. I am in the same boat as you. I believe as long as they both are happy and have great self esteem then great! I am not worried about their health because they both eat healthy and are involved in sports. I just believe that everyone's body is different and we have to except that.
My nine year old does take vitamins everyday and drinks pediasure. Just to make sure she's getting all of the nutrients her body needs. Hope this helps.

I think if they have no other health problems I would let them be. I have a son who is six and weights 37 lbs so I know your worry but mine also gets sick alot because he has soemthing called failure to thrive. I do worry about him alot but I have tried everything I have given him pedia sure which he drinks about 6 cans a day and still no real weight gain. He hasnt been sick in a few months so I guess I am not going to stress about it. I think all kids just finally hit their growth spurt and for some it may take a while and some it may hit at the time it suppose to. If you are very concerned about it I would get a second opinion from another doc maybe there are some tests they have not done yet to rule out certain growth hormone deficiencies but if they have done them all I would just relax. (my son has had every test done that could be done)!

My name is E. and i know where you are coming from i have a son thathas ADHD. and yes he was a little overweight but the meds took the weight off him to fast and he needed to gain weight after a few monthes he lost almost 40 pounds. doctor was very worried. i tried everything and the doctor did suggest the same thing shakes ,cakes ,donuts etc. well i had 6 kids at that time and couldnt do that at all i had bad teeth problems with a couple and one other was heavy. so i went to a nutri. sorry cant spell that word lol. and she suggested me putting malt and or powdered vitamins in his milk and to not give his meds untill 45-60 min after he ate. she said that. the meds took his hunger away and that it happens all the time. give him bananas, peanut butter, crackers etc. and it worked great. he gained his weight back and the other didnt know he had something special in his milk, neither did he but it worked. hope this helps.

Hi J.,

I know this is a hard time. I didn't hit 75 till I was close to 14. And I never did get to 100 till I got pregent. I think today we get tied up in the numbers and not the body shape. Yes I looked like a toothpick as a little girl, but looking at me today I look anything but a toothpick. Feed them responsible and keep them active. They will grow into what they are ment to be. Now with that being said, if there are medical reason already surfacing then that is a whole new problem.

Wish you the best,
S.

Have you tried the Boost/Ovaltine type shakes? there supposed to help overall. my problem is feeding healthy meals that don't cost an arm & leg to maintain the kids weights. I'm working on loosing weight but am a hypoglycemic so have to be careful not to really cut out carbs, my son though is borderline diabetic as is my mother in law who lives with us.