Ok so asking for advice is hard for me to do so you guys are going to have to bare with me for a few. So heres the thing and yes I know I sound like a superficial butthead, But my husband has put on like 40 or 50 lbs in the past 3 or 4 months and its hurting our sex life badly. I just dont want to do it with him, *No, I havent cheated and wont* Its just as if Im not attracted to him anymore, everytime I try and tell him hes put on alot of weight he gets all mad about me saying anything. Ok Im not exactly skinny but while he was gaining the weight I lost 50 lbs. Im about 6' and 180lbs. So Im not fat either. I have told him that if he was upset with something about me to let me know and I would try my best to fix it. I just want to know how to handle this in a better way, I dont want to hurt his feelings and tell him Im not attracted to him anymore but I want to know how to do it in a nice way. PLEASE HELP!
I read a lot of stuff I liked and just very few stuff I didnt!! I think you all nailed it with working out, he's suppose to work out at work but he NEVER GOES!!!!! I have also been keeping any kind of junk food out of the house!! No chips, cookies, nothing of that sort. ALSO NO MORE SODA!! Its water and juice from now on because i do the shopping around here..Someone also asked me how I lost all my weight..Well I got extremly sick and couldnt eat fast food I couldnt drink soda and couldnt eat anything fried..And good for me, that I cant eat this stuff ever again without getting sick again.
But, He just seems to lazy to me!!! I am going to continue to ask him to go to the park with us or anything to get him to excercise. He has gained all the weight in his gut, which means we also need to be going to the gym. I am going to be persistant until he wants to go with us!!! thanks everyone!!!
There has to be some other reason that you are not attracted to him anymore, because true love has very little to do with outward appearance. We love for richer, for poorer....in sickness and in health. As a wife, you can assist him in making healthy choices, but making him feel guilty and bad about himself is not going to achieve the response that you are seeking.
I'm inalmost the same situation. My husband and I have both put on pounds and when I point in out he gets mad also. What I have done is tell him I want to start a diet and ask if he would help me out. My diet was this not to eat anything after 8pm and drink water. That was my weakness eating late. I aleeady work out so that was not the problem. I have also start making dinners on the grill and oven more. Instead of telling him he's fat, tell he you are worried about his health.
Go out and walk together with the baby, do things with the baby at the park or mall, dance together at night have fun.
Be honest with your husband, sit down with him and express your concerns (when you won't be Interrupted by the kiddio).
Hope this help my children are fighting so I have to go sorry...
L.
L., don't discuss it, just tell him "look you stubborn man I love you & I want us to be healthier",and just start cooking healthier & maybe suggest going on those "long walks" w/him. Do it WITH him, that way he won't get all defensive & hurt.
Oh girl....where to start. As women we know how we would feel if our husbands were to tell us he wasn't attracted to us because we have put on a few. Hurt. He's the same way I'm sure. The only suggestion I have is to help him lose the weight without making it a huge issue. Start cooking healthier meals, ask him to go for a walk with you and the kid after dinner, stuff like that. You might use your recent weight loss as an excuse to get him to work out with you, tell him you need company. I feel for you, hope it works out.
First off, there is no way to tell your husband you are not attracted to him anymore with out hurting his feelings. In this situation you have to put yourself in his shoes. What if the situation was reversed, you were the one whose weight was turing him off and he told you he wasn't attracted to you anymore. How would that make you feel?
Secondly, have you tried getting him to work out with you? You can always say something like, "Hon, it would really mean alot to me if we could start walking together in the evenings." It could be some other activity as well, swimming, going to the gym or something like that. If you work out with him and support him in losing weight he might be more proactive towards it.
I"m not sure who does the majority of the cooking in the house, you or him, but you can also start creating a more nutriential diet to help him lose weight as well and he might not even know your doing it.
I hope this helps!! Good Luck!!!
Hi L.! I know that gaining weight is a sticky subject for a lot of people. When I gained 80 lbs with my first, my husband gained his fair share as well. If you think that the weight gain is affecting your sex life, then help him lose the weight without being confrontational. Last night I started up my DVD for Billy Blank's Boot Camp, and my husband joined right in with me. Not only did we both get our exercise in, we had in the process...not only during the exercise part either! It's a win-win situtation for everyone. I hate to say this but sometimes you need to treat men like they are another kid in the house. I hope that everything works out for you!
My main concern would be that of a health issue. It can't be healthy to gain that much weight in such a short amount of time. Maybe you can try that route.
I am not saying it's in any way your fault, but perhaps changing the way you eat at home might help. I am a horrible cook and have no intentions of learning, so when my husband comes home with a fast food bag for himself, I am relieved that I don't have to consider making dinner (I am perfectly happy with a bowl of cereal). He has gained weight over the years and I know it's more than just the fast food--it's just that he LOVES to eat.
How about suggesting taking walks together after dinner? It hasn't worked for me yet, but I'm still trying.
I know this is hard and frustrating, but hang in there. My husband goes through his issues, too, but I just let him know that whatever it is, I still love him (even though I go through periods where I'm not attracted to ANYONE).
I think the best thing to do is suggest working out together. Or if not working out taking your child for walks around the block in the stroller. Anything like that would help him to maybe lose the weight without actually telling him he needs to lose weight. Also if you are the one cooking try to fix more healthy foods and try to stay away from buying snacks and fattening food at the grocery store. Well i hope this helps you out some!!!
Men are just as easily offended about their weight. I once remarked (6 years ago) that my husband was getting a "booty" and he is still a little self conscience about his back end. We just bought the "Biggest Loser" cookbook and it has some really good stuff in there, some things you can't even tell are good for you. We also go to the gym together. At least for us, we are more successful when we are working as a team.
Has your husband seen a doctor? When my husband and I were first dating, he went from 168lbs to 224 in a matter of months. He was suffering from a mild depression and when it was treated, his weight began to stabilize.
good luck to you.
It's always easy to give advice so take what you like or think you can handle. First, cook good healthy meals for him. Offer to make him lunch to take to work and pack it with healthy things. If you stay at home, I am guessing you do the grocery shopping. Buy only healthy things to snack on. (fruit, cheese, yogurt, almonds, whole wheat crackers) Go on walks together in the evening when he gets home after work. If he won't go, take your daughter and go. Ask him to join you, if he says no, fine, but ask everyday. Soon, he will want to join yall. Those things will be positive and that is what he will respond to. If you tell him he could lose a few pounds that is negative and will only make him feel worse. You could also tell him that you are worried about his health. Hope something will help! Also remember sex is 90% mental and 10% physical.
Just a couple of thoughts here, does he eat at home or eat out alot? when you were losing your weight did you diet or exercise or both? you could do these things with him instead of alone, that way you both get quality time together while you both get a little healthier. If you do the cooking in your house, you can basically tailor the dinners so he's eating better to lose weight, which also helps the family to eat better in the process as well. Also go for walks together or goto the gym together. Making it a joint effort will improve both mentally and physically.
Hope that helps some.
J.
