Seeking Help for a Child That Wont Stop Whining

Updated on December 01, 2006
A.D. asks from Philadelphia, PA
7 answers

help my son wont stop whining...

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N.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Sounds like your son is very spoiled and use to having his way. Believe me, I have a very spoiled 4 year old daughter who is afraid of the dark and whins when I turn off the lights. You must let him know that you are in control and that what you say goes. Do not give in to him, after he sees that you are serious and he can not win, believe me, he is going to give up and you will see a big difference in his behavior and reactions. Good Luck, keep me posted.

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G.M.

answers from Washington DC on

My son is very much the same. I have always had a problem with him in the bath. I have finally got him to get in the tub willing most of the time. Just consistance it will eventually get better. He still tries to run out of the tub when its time to wash everything but i just hold both arms do what i have to do then i let him play when im done. I did get a suggestion from a social worker about washing hair she said to get a visor you know like the ones old people wear to the beach and put that on them and wash there hair that way. then nothing is comeing right in there face so i am going to try that soon when i remember to buy one.
As for the temper tantrums its all about power and whos stronger. If you give in then he runs the show and thats the last thing you want to do. Also remember if you give in he will scream longer the next waiting for you to give in. So don't. What i do is i either ignore it and tell him to ask me nicely. Or i put him in the corner which he hates till he stops. after a couple of minutes in the corner i just remind him that when he stops screaming and talks nicely he can get out usually he shuts right up and is normal again till next time.

hope this helps let me know
G.

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L.Z.

answers from Lancaster on

Hi A.,
My advise would be to ignore the tantrums and in no way give in to what he wants unless he asks in a plesant voice with please and thank yous'. You need to nip this in the bud now or it will only get worse. Explain to him that you dont speak to him in that way and you dont expect him to do the same. "He needs to talk to Mommy the nice way Mommy talks to him or you wont talk to him until he stops whining at you." As far as the bath, did he see something on tv or have a bad experience with water in some way? maybe choked on it in the tub while rinsing hair, etc? Try and see why all of a sudden he is upset. If nothing serious, make a game out of it. Someone else had suggested to another Mom with the same problem to get bath crayons and show him you are coloring on the tub than making it clean, than try on his feet than belly, etc...till he is clean....i always had lots of toys in the tub for him to play with while i washed him, that way he had no idea what i was doing because he was too distracted. Make bath time fun. Let them pick out the toys they want to play with and the kind of smelly bubbles they want, that way its all their tubby!!
Good Luck

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A.

answers from Washington DC on

Most all kids go through this. Just ignore the whinning and hissy fits. DO NOT GIVE INTO THEM!!! Even in public. He will embarass you over and over and finally give up. You just have to keep a grin on and keep going.
The same goes for the bath. He is testing his boundaries with you. You stay strong and he will give in.
Good Luck!

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S.W.

answers from York on

Believe it or not it will eventually lessen. My son is 5 and still does this on occasion. I have just been ignoring his requests when the come in the form of a whine. Trust me, its hard. It took him about a year to realize whining gets him no where with me. I have even gone so far as to give him quiet time in his room to ease the whining on my ears. He'll get distracted by the toys in there and stop.
As for the whole bath thing, have you considered getting a hand held shower head. I installe one of these and it has made bath time so much easier. The bath room gets a little bit wetter but the fights about bath time are over. They are very easy to do yourself and i found a cheap one at Target for like $ 15. It was well worth it for my sanity. Let me know how it works if you try it.

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A.B.

answers from York on

My son did the same thing! Its so horrible. I have no advice on the bath thing, my son is 3 and just now starting to get over it. I told him that if he wants to keep being a big boy then he has to get over this fear of the tub because he knows Mommy won't let anything happen to him. It seems to be working. When he first started the tantrums I would just strap him in his highchair and go to another room. That way I knew he was safe and I wouldn't do anything that I would end up regreting later. It worked. He still does them occasionally, but I usually just ignore him and he stops. It'll seem like the days until the tantrums stop will never come, but above anything the worst thing you can do is give in to what he wants because to him he's just getting his way by doing it. I hope this helps. :-)
A.

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K.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi A.
i read your letter And just wanted to say you just described my son hejust turned 3 at the end of sept but all he does is cry and whin hates taking a bath especilaty washing his hair I dont know what to do eaither Hopfully its just a faze K.

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