Seeking Answers to Two Question Please

I don't know what to say about the potty. I have a 3 year old that I potty trained by putting the potty chair in front of the tv and I have an 18 month old that will sit on the potty if he can brush his teeth; however, I would not trust parents as teachers!! Key word, they are parents. My sister has a 4.5 year old. She started with PAT when my niece was 2. They told her just to work with her and talk to her. Guess what, after a lot of struggling, she got her into speech therapy through the school district last year and she has a severe speech delay. I can understand my 3 year old better than I can understand her. Keep pushing! You may not be able to get her into a school program for speech therapy until she is 3, but that does not mean you can't try something else. Push your doctor for a referral to speech therapy, not PAT. Also, seek out speech therapists in your community, through your friends or your church. You are your daughters advocate. If what they are telling you doesn't seem right, keep pushing! It may take a while, a lot of phone calls and a llot of frustration, but someone will eventually listen. Good luck!

Hi S.,

Don't worry when people, Parent as Teachers, pediatricians, moms tell you that your little one is not at the same level in any skills or milestone (unless is something really obvious or serious). Kids are different while the do have many similarities, but the level of their development is caused by so many different things: environment, siblings or no siblings, if they attend to daycare or preschool, stimulus...etc.
My oldest started to speak late than others, and someone suggested me speech therapy (nothing wrong with that), but I made the decision to start at home and see what would happen, I made the decision to help him more and give him more stimulus; I mean talk to him wherever you are with her even when some people think you are crazy; describe things to her while you are driving or going to the park or shopping like "Hey !look at the green apples!", "Could you please give me the red ball?", "Hey look at the three ducks!" Let her play with letters and numbers in the bathtub, sing a lot, and read to her wherever you two are. You have to become a parrot yourself, and she will eventually catch up. I did that with my second one, and he speaks so much earlier than my oldest, but I have to say, both of them are two parrots right now!
Don't be discouraged, just teach her by playing, and you will see great results. Remember, kids develop at different rates, in different moments. Kids grow up in different families with different parents and different way of doing things. It is nothing wrong with that.
Take care and work together with your little one.
Alejandra

I'm no expert on any of thise, but I am going through the similiar situations with my son who will be 3 in March. On potty training, he was the same way as your daughter is now at her age. I decided to just let it go and figured he'd come around when he was ready, I didn't see the need to "rush" him. Now, like I said, he is almost 3 and still isn't trained. I personally think he is just being lazy b/c he will go on the pot once in a while when its like "convenient" for him (before a bath when he's standing in front of it naked already, when my potty trained 3 year old neice goes he'll go, etc.) but if I suggest doing it all the time or not wearing a diaper he'll tell me he doesn't want to go on the toilet and wants his diaper! So, since its been cold weather I've let that go as well, but once it warms up I am going to change him to regular underwear during the day and pull-ups at night. That way he's forced to go on the pot or in his pants and I think/hope he'll realize the pot is the much better choice.
On the speech issue, my son was born with a cleft lip, so every one under the sun has been watching speech for developmental delays or issues with how he forms words, etc. Turns out he's just a normal kid, but we saw a lot of experts and speech therapists for testing and PAT and his pediatrician kept an eye on his, etc. He wasn't saying much at two years old nad I do specifically recall the "I" and "me" thing. He refered to himself in 3rd person for a very long time. I remember my 11 year old neice asking me why he did that! Anyway, basically they told me not to worry, each child does it in their own time (as long as there aren't any underlying issues, which it doesn't sound like there are with your daughter). We were encouraged just to use proper english with him (not baby talk), to pronouce words he was having trouble with, sometimes look him in the eye and let him see your mouth say the words, expose them to real people talking and not just the television, etc. Eventually one day it just seemed to "click" for him and he talked "correctly". Now we're dealing with things like he's ask, "what you said?" and to correct him we'll say, "you say, what did you say"? and he'll respond, "I didn't say anything!" and get frustrated. It's comical but I do have every confidence that he'll come around on that too. I think the biggest thing is just not "pushing" them, but giving them the tools they need at the same time.
Anyway, I know what a concern it can be, so try not to worry, she'll come around. You can always check in with your pediatrician also, maybe s/he'll have some additional information that you will find useful.

Don't push the potty training; that will come on it's own and language is the more important issue.
At 2 I was very worried about my daughter's speech because her caregiver told me that she wasn't speaking as she should be. The pediatrician however wasn't worried. I waited 3 months, continued reading, talking, playing games, and she did have the "language explosion" that many people talk about. Now she is almost 3 and she says everything, but she is hard to understand if you aren't around her a lot. I recently contacted the Walker Scottish Rite clinic for a free speech evaluation; if she qualifies, service will be free also. They do not need the 50% marker that First Steps does. Ask your pediatrician if this might be right for you too. As a teacher with a masters in reading, all the experts call for early intervention (age 2), so be persistent and pushy if you need to be.
Good Luck!

Your PAT is wrong. If you are concerned, you can contact First Steps. It's a precursor to Special Ed services. I actually just called last week and the lady asked me a few questions, and told me my daughter isn't delayed. It put my mind at ease.
Your daughter will only qualify if she is at 50% of her age in all areas. Google First Steps (your state) and they'll give you all the info you need.
Also, don't push the potty training, I am so glad I never pused it, and after my son made his choice, I had only 1 accident to clean up. Totally worth the wait! By the way, he was 3 years and almost 4 months old.
Good luck, and don't be surprised if your daughter doesn't qualify, they will give you other resources if you are still concerned.

Hi S....

I am not sure if anyone has mentioned to you about the First Steps Program, but you may want to speak to your pediatrician about it. They offer services to assist children with delays.

Because you mentioned the fact that you have Bi-Polar, I would not be a caring mom if I didn't say to you that you need to speak to your dr. about the meds you took when you were pregnant. Find out if any of them may have impacted your child. I say all this because I am Bi-Polar as well and while none of the meds I took (so I am told) had any impact on my son, I needed to be sure they didn't.

The last part of what I want to say is the hardest part to share. You may need to contact Knights of Columbus at Cardinal Glennon. They do evaluations for Autism. The rate of autism in children born today is 1 in every 150. The sadder fact is there is a substancial increase of this when a parent has a mental illness. Be prepared for a long waiting list, but be persistant and when the forms come...fill them out. Go to every website you can to get information and find out if you see behaviors that parallel other children your childs age that were diagnosed with autism. I share this not to scare you, but because my son was diagnosed with autism at 3 years old. He had no language and was extremely hyperactive. He only slept for about 2 hours per night with a 20-30 minute nap during the day. I was frustrated and sleep deprived. I also was on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Fast forward...my son is an amazing 7 year old and talks a lot. He is in a traditional 1st grade class...reading...potty trained and wonderful. Prior to the diagnosis, he had no interest in potty training either... He takes medicine and I am supported by a awesome internet group that has helped me understand my feelings and what steps I needed to take to be the best advocate I could for him.

Bottom line... you need to find out what is going on with your child and the sooner that you do, the better things will be for your child.

Please don't listen to your PAT representative. My son also was not talking much by the time he was 2, and actually lost a lot of what vocabulary he had by that time. Our PAT rep told us not to worry, also. But we had him evaluated, and he was diagnosed with autism. I'm not saying that is what is wrong with your daughter, but there are ways to evaluate a 2 year old for speech and hearing problems. Talk to your pediatrician. He/she can refer you where you need to go. We went through the First Steps program, and they were wonderful!! But you do need a referral. With a lot of speech delay issues, we were told that if we had waited til our son was 3, we would not have had the great results we did. (He's 10 now, and talks all the time!) Good luck! I hope your baby is really just being stubborn and will start talking soon!