I think this can apply to any couple/family who has jobs or situations which means they cannot be home all the time or are away from home a lot.... because that is what it will be like. It could be any job or situation... but the point being, that one of the Parents won't be there all the time.
My cousin's wife has a job like that. It's a great position, and she travels a lot for her job. She loves her job. BUT, so they have a Nanny that looks after her children... who are about 3 years old(twins). And her husband does a lot of the care-taking at night and on weekends. They both have executive level jobs.
Meanwhile, because the children are with the Nanny most of the time (day or night), the children have learned "her" language first, which is Spanish. And, her children don't always have the benefit of direct daily contact with their Mom...so when she IS home... she tends to "over compensate" and she gets stressed out. The kids tend to be over-scheduled.... (in lots of classes and activities since she can't be with them all the time). But the kids seem okay. Both Parents have long work hours at times...due to their position and traveling. And, the Grandparents will come and help sometimes.
BUT, this was their decision... they have a certain income they need to maintain and a house and all the amenities. Also, she is the type that would go nuts if she did not work, even if they can afford to. But it also means that she is not always there for the kids or their events/recitals all the time.
And yes, her family is first and she loves her children dearly and is a good Mom when she is home. I can't fault her... but, I think it's too much of being "away" versus face-to-face time with her kids, and they are only 3 years old... in the formative years.
It is a lot of "sacrifice" for both she and her Husband... and in their personal life as a couple. But they seem okay, outwardly.
You also have a 16 year old... at this age, I feel they really need a Mom around... this is a hard age and emotionally...they need stability at this age, even if it is just to chat and bounce ideas/problems off of their Mom for input and comfort. I have seen kids at this age, whom the Parents are not available due to jobs... and it somehow leaves a vacant place in the child. A child can be "lonely"... and feel stressed because of the Parent not being there. Each child is different though. But sometimes, given the circumstances, we can "loose touch" with our children... and then we are not "in the loop" where they are concerned...but still "expect" them to be 'grown-up' and happy.
I would gauge your children.... and really observe and "see" what their needs would be, and if they can truly handle your not being available at times.
In my city, there have been several high profile career women who have recently stepped down from their jobs, to stay home with their children. They felt they were missing out too much, and their children were not getting enough of "Mom." They did it to be part of their lives more. I think they felt the "tug" of their own heartstrings and of their children, and chose not to pass it by anymore.
Mostly though, you must make sure it is okay with Hubby.... it can take a toll on any marriage. My Hubby, he works and goes to school... so he is not available a lot even if he is home. And the school counselor warns all couples whose spouse goes back to school, that it IS a hardship on the marriage and kids... and she's seen lots of couples divorce because of it. With a spouse in school (and working), it leaves the other spouse in being a "single parent" kind of situation... it's really not easy. I myself often get very stressed about it... and there is not a lot of time together. The kids miss Dad too, because he is always busy with work or studying or in class. And me, I'm left with managing the whole household and kids single handed-ly. And no, I don't always "like" it... although I understand his situation and obligations. But yes, we get in fights about it.
Well sorry for rambling....
I know it's not an easy decision. I wish you the best in whatever you decide...
~Susan