Seeking Advise - Chico,CA

Now is a good time to start.
It's never 'the talk' as in you-go-over-it-once-and-never-talk-about-it-again.
It's a series of conversations over the years.
Most start with what changes to expect when puberty comes on.
The first change? body oder and the wearing of deodorant - and that one will hit him in 3rd, 4th or 5th grade - certainly before he's out of elementary school.
There are many books that can help you.
Google 'puberty books for boys'.

If this one is hard for you and you are just starting out, yes, a book might be helpful.

"What's the Big Secret" is one which might feel familiar. Co-written and illustrated by Marc Tolan Brown (the Arthur) books, I recently perused this book in our school library. The simple text and pictures provide a lot of information without being overly graphic.

"Where did I come from?" as previously suggested, is a little more direct.

Like Diane mentioned. this isn't just one talk but a string of conversations. My son has asked me all sorts of things since he was about four or so and curious about "where does a baby come out?" I answer things as simply as possible. Remember, treating reproduction as a health issue instead of a moral issue (which makes many uncomfortable) is important. simple, unemotional answers are a great way to encourage your son to continue to approach and ask. You do want him to get good information from you and not another source, which might be a peer. Treat it as though you are talking about his digestive tract or respiratory system-- just one more aspect of good health.

Get books. Experienced authors will help give you the vocabulary as well as age-appropriate illustrations Our son was a little younger than yours when we started with "Where Did I Come From?" but there are plenty of options. It' important that you see this not as one talk, but as a series of conversations over the years.

Honestly, I think the very best resources are the children's librarians at the local libration, or the main city library nearest you. You can rudest books through your local library through the interlibrary loan program. Order them, and you can pick up and drop off at your local branch. This is all for no charge. If you find a book or two that you love, then you can buy them after you've tried them out. I think librarians are largely untapped resources - they know everything that's published, and they know what other parents are borrowing over and over. Use them.

Otherwise, my advice is not to be so nervous, and to absolutely use the right terms for body parts instead of slang. It's okay to teach the slang, but do tell him what the real terms are.

There are books at the library or book store that will help you. You'll find them in the parenting section. The books are written for children with notes for the parent.

I suggest to start with good touch, bad touch. There is a book with those words in the title that I read to my daughter and grandaughter. The pictures are cartoon like. You can read it first to help you decide how much to read.

The reason I suggest to start with touch is to prepare him for what is acceptable and what is not. This isn't just about sex. I suggest that after that lesson, you follow his lead. He'll ask questions that let you know his interest. Only answer the questions that he asks. You can expand the answer in ways you think is helpful.

Does he know where babies come from? If not he'll be asking soon. The most important part is to be open letting your son know it's OK to ask questions.

When - now.

How - ongoing conversations, and you can use the world around you to start conversations. If he has friends with moms who are having babies, then there are already conversations happening.

Hit the library for age appropriate books.

The school may have a basic program - ask about that.

The "sex" talk shouldn't be a one-off conversation. It's an ongoing relationship/talk that changes as he ages. Right now, it's about his body, how it works, how it changes, and body respect - his and others. The body respect thing is an ongoing piece.

Puberty's just around the corner, so that'll be coming up as well.

Here's a link to the education series my church uses - it's non-denominational - http://www.ucc.org/justice_sexuality-education_our-whole-...

It's only an outline, but maybe you can get an idea of starting points, age appropriate conversations, etc. from it. :)

I let my kids guide me. He must have already asked you some things by this point and knows the names for his body parts I'm guessing ... the sex talk and body changes talk comes along just as naturally - when he's curious and just answer his questions truthfully, but simply.

I don't give more information that is asked for/required. Sometimes kids will ask a question because they heard a term used at school, but really don't want to know anything in detail. So I let them guide me - I answer the question, and if they run off - then I wait to fill them in on more the next time. It's worked for us.

I also had the book ready "Where did I come from?" I think it was called. We didn't show them the whole book at once either. Just the parts they were comfortable with. One of my kids had no interest in looking at it. One of my kids pretty much heard about stuff on the playground, just came for me for clarification. All kids are different.

There are things I did say in advance (like body part names, etc.) just so my kids wouldn't be clueless and they knew about babies in general just because I'd been pregnant around them (or had friends who were) - but the big talk in school generally happens in grade 4-6 (around here anyways).

Good luck :)

now. start now.
talk to your librarian about the right book to get the ball rolling. then follow his lead. answer what he asks, no additional information, no uncomfortable wiggling away from it.
really, honesty and common sense are the only things you need.
khairete
S.

The "talk" starts WAY younger than this age with basic understanding of one's body and answering questions he may have.

By 2nd grade, he knows more than you think he does... I am in the classroom often and you would not believe how much those young children "think" they know as facts.

I suggest keeping you lines of communication wide open. If you are embarrassed or don't know what to do, then go to the library, get some guidance from the librarian on good books to use for educating your child.

I think you would prefer to teach him the facts vs what they hear on the playground, etc.

Go on a walk or drive so you don't have to look at him if that is an issue. Please, talk to him a lot about everyday things so he can feel comfortable enough to come to you. You need him coming to you in the future!

I just want to say that I have a 2nd grader and we're never talked about sex or puberty. I think people here have given great suggestions, but also some have a tone like you did something wrong by not discussing it already. We've talked about where babies come from (but not how they're made), boys vs. girls and privates, but never sex. I don't think he's ready and he's never asked anything related.