Hello. My husband and I are almost at our wits end... our daughter just turned 6 yrs old. She is obessed with acting dirty and raunchy, all the time. She thinks it funny. We've tried different tactics to dicipline her and let her know that she is acting very inappropriately, but she has ignored us & now it's going on too long and she's pushing new boundaries and really ticking us off. You'd swear she was pre-destined to be dancing on a stage somewhere with a pole! She's THAT sexual. Couple this behavior with endless masterbating... I'm losing my mind. I've spoken to her privately about the inappropriateness of her choices, just to continuously keep getting ignored. Even her Kindergarten teacher had to stop her several times during school. A few weeks ago, she crossed the line with another little girl. The whole toughy feely thing. That little girl told her parents (like a good girl should!) and my daughter then got a serious disciplining! BUT she's already at it again... dancing ultra provacatively, touching herself while dancing, etc... somehow she even makes going potty a sexual experience. I know she doesnt mean for it to be so sexy, or i hope she doesnt.. but how do I get her to tone it down? WAY DOWN! I am so embarrassed. She truly comes across as an "experienced cortesan" already, at the age of SIX! I am sometimes wondering if she is possesed?! This cant be happening to my little girl It scares me silly, for the message she's sending out to boys, even men... I cant bare the thought. Again, it's not with her dress or her words or from tv or even modeling after someone she'd know... its just "her"! Her intense body language and subconcious yet blatant in your face sexuality! HELP!!!
Thank you all for your posts... my head is realing! ...and NOT in a good way! Again, in my deepest heart of hearts, I feel that she, herself, is unharmed. She is a very open little girl... I KNOW she would've told us. She is just seriously very sexual by nature. If you knew our family, we are ultra conservative, I cannot fathom for the life of me where she has gotten this from. She goes to a highly respected private school, we keep close tabs on her!
I spoke with her this morning, calmly and she openly admitted she saw big kissing on Zoey 101 over at a friends house... she dances like this because it's "funny" and she always laughs (and sees US laugh) at the dancers (auditioning) on American Idol. So far it seems TV is the culprit!! When she touched her friend, she said "they were in a tickle-fight together, rolling around on the floor, and she just tickled her there to make her laugh b/c it feels good." I am NOT naive to other possibilities, and have made an appointment with our Ped!!! My daughter means the world to me and her safety comes 1st!! As well as safety of other children! My fear has always been my daughter being molested, certainly not the other way around! I just dont know how to make it stop! I need a route of diciplining that will effectively work on this type of situation for her. I will seek professional cousel on this immediately. Thank yu for your thoughts, advice and prayers!
Run, don't walk, to the office of an experienced child psychologist. Children at this age are not this sexual on their own. Get help for her as soon as you can. Dont wait another minute. No matter what those around you think, get her in NOW.
I Have chills reading your post!! I think this is VERY concerning and I agree with the other posters. It sounds like something is going on. The curiousity of her body and maybe touching herself SOMETIMES would seem like normal behavior. BUT this is extreme and does sound like she has seen this somewhere. I would talk to your pediatrician immediately and get suggestions for a child psych. You NEED to figure out what's going on and who may be hurting your little girl!!
Good luck!
Andrea, This is VERY serious for several reasons. First it sounds like she is modeling the behavior of someone around her or from what someone has taught her to do for them?? I have three daughter's 9,7 & 5 and not one of them has EVER acted in a sexual way AT ALL!! Your daughter should be taken to the Pediatrician for an examination to make sure she has not been molested and you should get a referal to a counselor beofre the school district gets social services invloved and your child ends up being taken away from you for observation and to determine if you and your husband are fit parents, because the school system has an obligation to protect your child and this behavior is not normal.
Think of her future, it is not a laughing matter at all. Please get her help!!
May the Lord bless you & keep you and protect you from this situation.
W.
I'm no expert, but it seems to me she's "learned" this somewhere. I don't think this is normal behavior for a child her age. Touching herself, yes. But touching others and acting provocatively? I don't think so. Please seek some professional help. And best of luck. My thoughts are with you.
I think you need to get to the root of the problem. Where did she learn this sexual behavior? You say she is not modeling it after someone she knows, but where else can she get it from? I'm a bit surprised that her teacher at school has not contacted social services since this type of behavior sends out immediate red flags.
Are you sure there is absolutely no one she learns this from? Like an older cousin, sister, neighbor, etc? Sexual behavior at such a young age is learned, unlike jealousy and anger which are pretty much inherent from birth. I would suggest stricter discipline/consequences and counseling quick!
she did not come up with this on her own. something is very wrong, maybe someone has done something to her and at the very least, she has seen some things she should not have seen
It seems that everyone agrees that this is something she has been taught. Possibly so. I would not suggest you over look that possibility, and if I were you I would take her to a child psychologist. Another possibility is that she has a lot of testosterone. Everyone has testosterone, women just have a lot less than men. Some girls have far more of this than other girls. Your pediatrician should be able to help or refer you to someone who can.
Oh my gosh i feel really bad for you. I would be worried too. Thats aweful young to even know how too act that way. Maybe you should take her to a phycologist to find out where this behavoir is coming from. I honestly dont know what i would do, but id seak help from some sort of professional before she gets any older.
She is learning it from somebody and showing signs og being sexually molested, who has alone time with your daughter, babysitters Dad ? its one thing for a child to touch them selfs thats normal but one thing caught my eye you said, like a good girl should !!! this is what your daughter said to the little girl she touched, If I understand this correctly !!
Lady I see a huge red flag here, your daughter isnt sending any message out to any males, she doesnt understand the concept unless a male has been molesting her, I think you need some serious help here. Take her to the doctors have her check making sure there has been no hanky panky
sorry, but 6 yrs old....it sounds to me as though she is acting out....did someone inappropriately touch her, did she see someone else getting touched, etc.....maybe someone not as familiar like a babysitter, drop in day care, etc......I'd have her see a counselor at least once or twice...perhaps get a very detailed anatomy book from the library and use the pictures to "demystify" the whole sexual thing, or perhaps to start a dialogue so that you can get to the bottom of it.....good luck!
Wow! lots of great advice. But I think you need to look deeper into what some of these ladies are saying. Try talking to her, but not when she is in this sexual mode. Ask her where she learned those dance moves. Don't get down and dirty you are just looking for clues of this behavior, and you don't want to give your daughter any bigger idea's at 6. (Maybe she was at a friends house and the big brother was watching something he shouldn't have been when the girls walked in.) It can be something very simple and it could be a whole lot worse. But like I said start little. Girls might touch themselfs because one day wiping left really good, but someone or thing has made her think this is okay to let it all out. She saw or heard from a friend or person. Remember though, this is when their bodies change a little and they simply look sexier (I remember my oldest hitting that age and I was thinking wholey cow she has a sexy figure (no boobs) but her body had some great curves & I was thinking how come they get curves at such a young age). But they change again until 11 or 12. I was glad about that. But make sure your not just looking at something simple like she is just dancing (but her body is going through this change). Remember think small this could be very inosent and your making a big deal out of it. That's why you need to ask her simple things until you know more, and you definitly don't want to give her new idea's at this age. But you do want to get to the bottom of this because if someone is touching her you need to get that changed and get her into counseling.
I would take her to the doctor for a physical get a urine sample, maybe she has a urinary tract infection, or a yeast infection, which makes the masterbating feel really good. The doctor could also check down their to make sure if any thing else has been happening.
Remember to always talk to her very calmly about this, don't get mad or upset in front of her. If you do she won't share with you and you need her to trust you, you need her to come to you with any questions or concerns, especially at such a young age. I don't know how much she knows but you need to find out and then teach her that this info isn't for sharing with others. That this is usually things taught by mothers when she is older. This way you don't have other moms mad at you because your daughter taught their's the facts of life at age 6. Best wishes to you, I pray that this is something simple, for your daughters sake. J.
Hi J.,
I'm definitely not an expert in this area, but it makes me think that maybe she could have been molested. Probably not something you as a mother would even want to imagine, but it is something to look into. I would take her to a trusted counselor to explore this as it is definitely not something someone of her age would naturally be expressing so much.
Take care,
C.
Hi, sounds like you little girl is exploring her sexuality or acting out due to many reasons. Do not make her feel bad or shameful by how she is told to stop. redirect her to restroom and talk to. Tell her she is to be inprivate when explorign ehr body. Do not get me wrong, but this may minize her acts. Dancing inappropiatety, she may have learned it somewhere, perhaps media etc. Supervise what she watches, who she plays with, and who cares for her. Hopefully you are not purchasing clothing too revealing becasue this will only contribute her to her actions wantign to be sexy (AS MODELS etc.) and sending her mixed messages about her actions and dressing code. Has she been sexually abused? Something to think about. You might want to seek therapy to have her explore reasons for doing it. Good Luck!
