Seeking Advice on Discontinuing Nighttime Nursing for 8 1/2 Mo. Old

Hi H.,

I know what you are going throu and I have two ideas. First is to let him slep with you, your husband will have to be okay with it but at least that way you will not have to get up all night. This is what I did with my two boys. They would start off in their own beds but when they woke up I would just bring them back to my bed and nurse him there. The other idea I had is to let you husband get more involved. Again this is what we did but when we were ready to stop night nursing my husband would go into the boys room to comfort them back to sleep. I won't lie, there whas some crying involved but it only lasted about a week and then things were much better. I never whated to let my boys 'cry it out' and I felt like as long as my husband was there with them they were not all alone. I am very glad that we did it this way bacause it gave my husband a lot more confidence with his parenting skills and now he is much better at putting them to sleep then me!! Let me know if you have any questons. My email address is ____@____.com

H., good for you for all that nursing! I hope you get better soon. I have been there (without the mono, thank God) three times already and headed for a fourth! My favorite method for night-weaning is Dr. Jay Gordon's. He assumes you are cosleeping and the baby is a little older, but I assume the basic ideas would be the same for a younger, non-cosleeper as well:

http://drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

My son is 17 months, still nursing, and always hungry so there is no way we can go through 1 night without nursing. He is a VERY active child who eats enough for 3 kids. He sleeps with me and the problem is solved. I too was exhausted when I was trying to have him sleep solo. Once he started sleeping with me, I started getting a lot more sleep. He can nurse whenever he wants and I don't have to wake up. Sometimes I wake up if he's trying to nurse and I'm not laying at a good angle so can get to the 'goods' easily. It's never for more than a few seconds and I'm able to go right back to sleep. He is also a lot more rested in the daytime because he isn't having to wake up and scream because he's hungry. We're all getting a good night's rest.
Also, if none of the ideas you read here will work for you, you might consider attending a local La Leche League meeting. They are all over the metroplex and free to attend. You'll get lots of great factual, information.
www.lalecheleague.org

My experience with trying to discontinue night time feedings were not terribly successful until my husband started getting up during the night. Both of my children would not settle down for me unless they nursed. If my husband went in, he could walk/sing them back to sleep. We started out with him getting up once and I'd take the other feeding, then extended it to the next feeding once both children started sleeping for a longer period of time. Another thing to consider is if he is having a growth spurt. If that is the case, then the getting up should gradually stop once he if finished growing. The final thing is that my son who was my good sleeper, started getting up again in the middle of the night. From what I have read, it is simply seperation anxiety, but again, if I went in we had to nurse, if my husband went in, then they would settle back down. I hope this is helpful. Good luck!

I'm no expert here but an almost 9 month old could take some cereal in the evening and get through the night without feeding. Talk to your Dr. about introducing some solids. It's very difficult. I feel for you.
L.
www.lizzyzinn.com

This has been awhile for me but what I did was wake my daughter up right before I would go to bed and nurse her. She would pretty much sleep through the night and if she did wake up I would try to ignore her(very hard to do) or I would send my husband to go check on her. Some nights I would just bring her down into our bed but not nurse her and just hold her. We had a playpen in our room and I would lay her down in that so she would be in the same room and she would sleep.
Good Luck!

I am not sure what to tell you that you probably have done already but I would try and let your husband go and calm him down, being he knows that he won't get any milk from him. That is the problem when you pick him up he knows what he can get from you. And he is old enough that he shouldn't be eating throug the night anyway that I know it is hard but let him be. I could never do that but my doctor told me it will not harm him (my son) not to get night feeding after 3 months. So it really is a matter of you can handel and dish out. But I would see if your husband is willing to get up every time for a couple of days and then your baby might realize your not going to do it anymore. And wake him up before you go to bed for one last feeding. Good luck

Hi H.,
sure he wakes up, because he's used to it. (but at 8,5 months he doesn't really need it) So you have to break the rythem. A friend of mine had the same problem. She started to give one big bottle (milk with a little cereal) as the last feeding. That's heavier than breastmilk, so it should last longer. I think she let him cry if he woke up, or send her husband. At daytime she kept nursing.
For her it worked, I hope for you also.
Also, to break the rythem you have to do it for a couple of days in a row. I think if it's not working after 5 days, it's just not working and you've to try something new. But don't give up after only 2 days.

Good luck

I.

You go girl with the breastfeeding! However, you need you sleep! I totally feel for you. I have a 10 month old and is still breastfeeding him. I did not have much help from my husband and we did not have any family here to relieve me of catching up on my sleep. Completely exhausted, I let him cry it out at 6 months old. Before that he was feeding every three hours. I was assured by his Doctor that he did not need it. It took him three nights (he cried out the first night at 10PM, the second night at 1:00AM and the third around 3AM) of crying out and he finally slept through the night! He would cry from 20 to 55 minutes. I know it was very tough on me and Dad. I would pace in the hallway in front of his nursery.
Only you know what is best for your child.
Good Luck! It was the best thing I did for myself to get my sleep!