Seeking Advice on Bathing 9 Month Old

-I agree with all of the previous responders - have him checked for sensory issues.
-Meanwhile, in order to avoid the "torture" of the bath, if the nursing/feeding don't work, and if the shower idea doesn't work, don't do either. "Spotclean" him with babywipes and spongebathe him as necessary. Don't feel you need to get him wet from head to toe to get him clean.
-Some of his hysteria when getting wet could be a reinforced behavior habit at this point. So, don't submerge him for a few months and try starting over when his response may be forgotten.
-How many of our great-great-grandparents were submerged in water when they were children in January?
-I also recommend - when you are wiping him with the babywipes or washcloth, keep your inactive hand on him at the same time for an additional feeling of security.
-Try massaging him during these times, as well.
Good luck!

Your child could have a sensory processing problem, in which case taking a bath is a painful experience, not necessarily a scary one. It would make since that bathing is always a problem since day one if that's the case. Here's a checklist for infants for the condition (which isn't awful, my son has it and we're fine), if it matches up with what you see at home you might want to talk to an Occupational Therapist to see what strategies you can use for bathing. I would suggest, especially since children don't have active sweat glands and don't need to be bathed as often as pre-teens, teenagers and adults, that you do sponge baths and not immerse your baby in water at all until they can reasoned with. The checklist is really comprehensive, a child can exhibit the condition in a variety of areas or only in one. If you're in Louisville, I can give you some resources to check into if you're just not sure. Also, it is a hallmark of the condition for a child to be inconsistent in the symptomology, so one day they can't stand kisses, the next day it's okay. Just e-mail me if you have q's. Good luck!

The checklist:

1. Hypersensitivity To Touch (Tactile Defensiveness)

__ becomes fearful, anxious or aggressive with light or unexpected touch

__ as an infant, did/does not like to be held or cuddled; may arch back, cry, and pull away

__ distressed when diaper is being, or needs to be, changed

__ appears fearful of, or avoids standing in close proximity to other people or peers (especially in lines)

__ becomes frightened when touched from behind or by someone/something they can not see (such as under a blanket)

__ complains about having hair brushed; may be very picky about using a particular brush

__ bothered by rough bed sheets (i.e., if old and "bumpy")

__ avoids group situations for fear of the unexpected touch

__ resists friendly or affectionate touch from anyone besides parents or siblings (and sometimes them too!)

__ dislikes kisses, will "wipe off" place where kissed

__ prefers hugs

__ a raindrop, water from the shower, or wind blowing on the skin may feel like torture and produce adverse and avoidance reactions

__ may overreact to minor cuts, scrapes, and or bug bites

__ avoids touching certain textures of material (blankets, rugs, stuffed animals)

__ refuses to wear new or stiff clothes, clothes with rough textures, turtlenecks, jeans, hats, or belts, etc.

__ avoids using hands for play

__ avoids/dislikes/aversive to "messy play", i.e., sand, mud, water, glue, glitter, playdoh, slime, shaving cream/funny foam etc.

__ will be distressed by dirty hands and want to wipe or wash them frequently

__ excessively ticklish

__ distressed by seams in socks and may refuse to wear them

__ distressed by clothes rubbing on skin; may want to wear shorts and short sleeves year round, toddlers may prefer to be naked and pull diapers and clothes off constantly

__ or, may want to wear long sleeve shirts and long pants year round to avoid having skin exposed

__ distressed about having face washed

__ distressed about having hair, toenails, or fingernails cut

__ resists brushing teeth and is extremely fearful of the dentist

__ is a picky eater, only eating certain tastes and textures; mixed textures tend to be avoided as well as hot or cold foods; resists trying new foods

__ may refuse to walk barefoot on grass or sand

__ may walk on toes only

2. Hyposensitivity To Touch (Under-Responsive):

__ may crave touch, needs to touch everything and everyone

__ is not aware of being touched/bumped unless done with extreme force or intensity

__ is not bothered by injuries, like cuts and bruises, and shows no distress with shots (may even say they love getting shots!)

__ may not be aware that hands or face are dirty or feel his/her nose running

__ may be self-abusive; pinching, biting, or banging his own head

__ mouths objects excessively

__ frequently hurts other children or pets while playing

__ repeatedly touches surfaces or objects that are soothing (i.e., blanket)

__ seeks out surfaces and textures that provide strong tactile feedback

__ thoroughly enjoys and seeks out messy play

__ craves vibrating or strong sensory input

__ has a preference and craving for excessively spicy, sweet, sour, or salty foods

3. Poor Tactile Perception And Discrimination:

__ has difficulty with fine motor tasks such as buttoning, zipping, and fastening clothes

__ may not be able to identify which part of their body was touched if they were not looking

__ may be afraid of the dark

__ may be a messy dresser; looks disheveled, does not notice pants are twisted, shirt is half un tucked, shoes are untied, one pant leg is up and one is down, etc.

__ has difficulty using scissors, crayons, or silverware

__ continues to mouth objects to explore them even after age two

__ has difficulty figuring out physical characteristics of objects; shape, size, texture, temperature, weight, etc.

__ may not be able to identify objects by feel, uses vision to help; such as, reaching into backpack or desk to retrieve an item

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Vestibular Sense: input from the inner ear about equilibrium, gravitational changes, movement experiences, and position in space.

Signs Of Vestibular Dysfunction:

1. Hypersensitivity To Movement (Over-Responsive):

__ avoids/dislikes playground equipment; i.e., swings, ladders, slides, or merry-go-rounds

__ prefers sedentary tasks, moves slowly and cautiously, avoids taking risks, and may appear "wimpy"

__ avoids/dislikes elevators and escalators; may prefer sitting while they are on them or, actually get motion sickness from them

__ may physically cling to an adult they trust

__ may appear terrified of falling even when there is no real risk of it

__ afraid of heights, even the height of a curb or step

__ fearful of feet leaving the ground

__ fearful of going up or down stairs or walking on uneven surfaces

__ afraid of being tipped upside down, sideways or backwards; will strongly resist getting hair washed over the sink

__ startles if someone else moves them; i.e., pushing his/her chair closer to the table

__ as an infant, may never have liked baby swings or jumpers

__ may be fearful of, and have difficulty riding a bike, jumping, hopping, or balancing on one foot (especially if eyes are closed)

__ may have disliked being placed on stomach as an infant

__ loses balance easily and may appear clumsy

__ fearful of activities which require good balance

__ avoids rapid or rotating movements

2. Hyposensitivity To Movement (Under-Responsive):

__ in constant motion, can't seem to sit still

__ craves fast, spinning, and/or intense movement experiences

__ loves being tossed in the air

__ could spin for hours and never appear to be dizzy

__ loves the fast, intense, and/or scary rides at amusement parks

__ always jumping on furniture, trampolines, spinning in a swivel chair, or getting into upside down positions

__ loves to swing as high as possible and for long periods of time

__ is a "thrill-seeker"; dangerous at times

__ always running, jumping, hopping etc. instead of walking

__ rocks body, shakes leg, or head while sitting

__ likes sudden or quick movements, such as, going over a big bump in the car or on a bike

3. Poor Muscle Tone And/Or Coordination:

__ has a limp, "floppy" body

__ frequently slumps, lies down, and/or leans head on hand or arm while working at his/her desk

__ difficulty simultaneously lifting head, arms, and legs off the floor while lying on stomach ("superman" position)

__ often sits in a "W sit" position on the floor to stabilize body

__ fatigues easily!

__ compensates for "looseness" by grasping objects tightly

__ difficulty turning doorknobs, handles, opening and closing items

__ difficulty catching him/her self if falling

__ difficulty getting dressed and doing fasteners, zippers, and buttons

__ may have never crawled as an baby

__ has poor body awareness; bumps into things, knocks things over, trips, and/or appears clumsy

__ poor gross motor skills; jumping, catching a ball, jumping jacks, climbing a ladder etc.

__ poor fine motor skills; difficulty using "tools", such as pencils, silverware, combs, scissors etc.

__ may appear ambidextrous, frequently switching hands for coloring, cutting, writing etc.; does not have an established hand preference/dominance by 4 or 5 years old

__ has difficulty licking an ice cream cone

__ seems to be unsure about how to move body during movement, for example, stepping over something

__ difficulty learning exercise or dance steps

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Proprioceptive Sense: input from the muscles and joints about body position, weight, pressure, stretch, movement, and changes in position in space.

Signs Of Proprioceptive Dysfunction:

1. Sensory Seeking Behaviors:

__ seeks out jumping, bumping, and crashing activities

__ stomps feet when walking

__ kicks his/her feet on floor or chair while sitting at desk/table

__ bites or sucks on fingers and/or frequently cracks his/her knuckles

__ loves to be tightly wrapped in many or weighted blankets, especially at bedtime

__ prefers clothes (and belts, hoods, shoelaces) to be as tight as possible

__ loves/seeks out "squishing" activities

__ enjoys bear hugs

__ excessive banging on/with toys and objects

__ loves "roughhousing" and tackling/wrestling games

__ frequently falls on floor intentionally

__ would jump on a trampoline for hours on end

__ grinds his/her teeth throughout the day

__ loves pushing/pulling/dragging objects

__ loves jumping off furniture or from high places

__ frequently hits, bumps or pushes other children

__ chews on pens, straws, shirt sleeves etc.

2. Difficulty With "Grading Of Movement":

__ misjudges how much to flex and extend muscles during tasks/activities (i.e., putting arms into sleeves or climbing)

__ difficulty regulating pressure when writing/drawing; may be too light to see or so hard the tip of writing utensil breaks

__ written work is messy and he/she often rips the paper when erasing

__ always seems to be breaking objects and toys

__ misjudges the weight of an object, such as a glass of juice, picking it up with too much force sending it flying or spilling, or with too little force and complaining about objects being too heavy

__ may not understand the idea of "heavy" or "light"; would not be able to hold two objects and tell you which weighs more

__ seems to do everything with too much force; i.e., walking, slamming doors, pressing things too hard, slamming objects down

__ plays with animals with too much force, often hurting them

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Signs Of Auditory Dysfunction: (no diagnosed hearing problem)

1. Hypersensitivity To Sounds (Auditory Defensiveness):

__ distracted by sounds not normally noticed by others; i.e., humming of lights or refrigerators, fans, heaters, or clocks ticking

__ fearful of the sound of a flushing toilet (especially in public bathrooms), vacuum, hairdryer, squeaky shoes, or a dog barking

__ started with or distracted by loud or unexpected sounds

__ bothered/distracted by background environmental sounds; i.e., lawn mowing or outside construction

__ frequently asks people to be quiet; i.e., stop making noise, talking, or singing

__ runs away, cries, and/or covers ears with loud or unexpected sounds

__ may refuse to go to movie theaters, parades, skating rinks, musical concerts etc.

__ may decide whether they like certain people by the sound of their voice

2. Hyposensitivity To Sounds (Under-Registers):

__ often does not respond to verbal cues or to name being called

__ appears to "make noise for noise's sake"

__ loves excessively loud music or TV

__ seems to have difficulty understanding or remembering what was said

__ appears oblivious to certain sounds

__ appears confused about where a sound is coming from

__ talks self through a task, often out loud

__ had little or no vocalizing or babbling as an infant

__ needs directions repeated often, or will say, "What?" frequently

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Signs Of Oral Input Dysfunction:

1. Hypersensitivity To Oral Input (Oral Defensiveness):

__ picky eater, often with extreme food preferences; i.e., limited repertoire of foods, picky about brands, resistive to trying new foods or restaurants, and may not eat at other people's houses)

__ may only eat "soft" or pureed foods past 24 months of age

__ may gag with textured foods

__ has difficulty with sucking, chewing, and swallowing; may choke or have a fear of choking

__ resists/refuses/extremely fearful of going to the dentist or having dental work done

__ may only eat hot or cold foods

__ refuses to lick envelopes, stamps, or stickers because of their taste

__ dislikes or complains about toothpaste and mouthwash

__ avoids seasoned, spicy, sweet, sour or salty foods; prefers bland foods

2. Hyposensitivity To Oral Input (Under-Registers)

__ may lick, taste, or chew on inedible objects

__ prefers foods with intense flavor; i.e., excessively spicy, sweet, sour, or salty

__ excessive drooling past the teething stage

__ frequently chews on hair, shirt, or fingers

__ constantly putting objects in mouth past the toddler years

__ acts as if all foods taste the same

__ can never get enough condiments or seasonings on his/her food

__ loves vibrating toothbrushes and even trips to the dentist

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Signs Of Olfactory Dysfunction (Smells):

1. Hypersensitivity To Smells (Over-Responsive):

__ reacts negatively to, or dislikes smells which do not usually bother, or get noticed, by other people

__ tells other people (or talks about) how bad or funny they smell

__ refuses to eat certain foods because of their smell

__ offended and/or nauseated by bathroom odors or personal hygiene smells

__ bothered/irritated by smell of perfume or cologne

__ bothered by household or cooking smells

__ may refuse to play at someone's house because of the way it smells

__ decides whether he/she likes someone or some place by the way it smells

2. Hyposensitivity To Smells (Under-Responsive):

__ has difficulty discriminating unpleasant odors

__ may drink or eat things that are poisonous because they do not notice the noxious smell

__ unable to identify smells from scratch 'n sniff stickers

__ does not notice odors that others usually complain about

__ fails to notice or ignores unpleasant odors

__ makes excessive use of smelling when introduced to objects, people, or places

__ uses smell to interact with objects

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Signs Of Visual Input Dysfunction (No Diagnosed Visual Deficit):

1. Hypersensitivity To Visual Input (Over-Responsiveness)

__ sensitive to bright lights; will squint, cover eyes, cry and/or get headaches from the light

__ has difficulty keeping eyes focused on task/activity he/she is working on for an appropriate amount of time

__ easily distracted by other visual stimuli in the room; i.e., movement, decorations, toys, windows, doorways etc.

__ has difficulty in bright colorful rooms or a dimly lit room

__ rubs his/her eyes, has watery eyes or gets headaches after reading or watching TV

__ avoids eye contact

__ enjoys playing in the dark

2. Hyposensitivity To Visual Input (Under-Responsive Or Difficulty With Tracking, Discrimination, Or Perception):

__ has difficulty telling the difference between similar printed letters or figures; i.e., p & q, b & d, + and x, or square and rectangle

__ has a hard time seeing the "big picture"; i.e., focuses on the details or patterns within the picture

__ has difficulty locating items among other items; i.e., papers on a desk, clothes in a drawer, items on a grocery shelf, or toys in a bin/toy box

__ often loses place when copying from a book or the chalkboard

__ difficulty controlling eye movement to track and follow moving objects

__ has difficulty telling the difference between different colors, shapes, and sizes

__ often loses his/her place while reading or doing math problems

__ makes reversals in words or letters when copying, or reads words backwards; i.e., "was" for "saw" and "no" for "on" after first grade

__ complains about "seeing double"

__ difficulty finding differences in pictures, words, symbols, or objects

__ difficulty with consistent spacing and size of letters during writing and/or lining up numbers in math problems

__ difficulty with jigsaw puzzles, copying shapes, and/or cutting/tracing along a line

__ tends to write at a slant (up or down hill) on a page

__ confuses left and right

__ fatigues easily with schoolwork

__ difficulty judging spatial relationships in the environment; i.e., bumps into objects/people or missteps on curbs and stairs

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Auditory-Language Processing Dysfunction:

__ unable to locate the source of a sound

__ difficulty identifying people's voices

__ difficulty discriminating between sounds/words; i.e., "dare" and "dear"

__ difficulty filtering out other sounds while trying to pay attention to one person talking

__ bothered by loud, sudden, metallic, or high-pitched sounds

__ difficulty attending to, understanding, and remembering what is said or read; often asks for directions to be repeated and may only be able to understand or follow two sequential directions at a time

__ looks at others to/for reassurance before answering

__ difficulty putting ideas into words (written or verbal)

__ often talks out of turn or "off topic"

__ if not understood, has difficulty re-phrasing; may get frustrated, angry, and give up

__ difficulty reading, especially out loud (may also be dyslexic)

__ difficulty articulating and speaking clearly

__ ability to speak often improves after intense movement

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Social, Emotional, Play, And Self-Regulation Dysfunction:

Social:

__ difficulty getting along with peers

__ prefers playing by self with objects or toys rather than with people

__ does not interact reciprocally with peers or adults; hard to have a "meaningful" two-way conversation

__ self-abusive or abusive to others

__ others have a hard time interpreting child's cues, needs, or emotions

__ does not seek out connections with familiar people

Emotional:

__ difficulty accepting changes in routine (to the point of tantrums)

__ gets easily frustrated

__ often impulsive

__ functions best in small group or individually

__ variable and quickly changing moods; prone to outbursts and tantrums

__ prefers to play on the outside, away from groups, or just be an observer

__ avoids eye contact

__ difficulty appropriately making needs known

Play:

__ difficulty with imitative play (over 10 months)

__ wanders aimlessly without purposeful play or exploration (over 15 months)

__ needs adult guidance to play, difficulty playing independently (over 18 months)

__ participates in repetitive play for hours; i.e., lining up toys cars, blocks, watching one movie over and over etc.

Self-Regulation:

__ excessive irritability, fussiness or colic as an infant

__ can't calm or soothe self through pacifier, comfort object, or caregiver

__ can't go from sleeping to awake without distress

__ requires excessive help from caregiver to fall asleep; i.e., rubbing back or head, rocking, long walks, or car rides

Internal Regulation (The Interoceptive Sense):

__ becoming too hot or too cold sooner than others in the same environments; may not appear to ever get cold/hot, may not be able to maintain body temperature effectively

__ difficulty in extreme temperatures or going from one extreme to another (i.e., winter, summer, going from air conditioning to outside heat, a heated house to the cold outside)

__ respiration that is too fast, too slow, or cannot switch from one to the other easily as the body demands an appropriate respiratory response

__ heart rate that speeds up or slows down too fast or too slow based on the demands imposed on it

__ respiration and heart rate that takes longer than what is expected to slow down during or after exertion or fear

__ severe/several mood swings throughout the day (angry to happy in short periods of time, perhaps without visible cause)

__ unpredictable state of arousal or inability to control arousal level (hyper to lethargic, quickly, vacillating between the two; over stimulated to under stimulated, within hours or days, depending on activity and setting, etc.)

__ frequent constipation or diarrhea, or mixed during the same day or over a few days

__ difficulty with potty training; does not seem to know when he/she has to go (i.e., cannot feel the necessary sensation that bowel or bladder are full

__ unable to regulate thirst; always thirsty, never thirsty, or oscillates back and forth

__ unable to regulate hunger; eats all the time, won't eat at all, unable to feel full/hungry

__ unable to regulate appetite; has little to no appetite and/or will be "starving" one minute then full two bites later, then back to hungry again (prone to eating disorders and/or failure to thrive)

my daughter was fine for baths until she turned 9 months. they she screamed for the entire bath. I started to take baths with her and just let her sit on my lap. I bought new bath toys that i thought she would like. squirting toys worked great. It took over a year for her fear to go away. Part of it was the temp of the water - to hot for her and getting cold when she got out. i just tried to have as much fun as possible and get done asap. good luck and keep your patience.

I also had this problem with my oldest. He would scream his head of in the tub. It stopped when he was 3 or 4. We did our best to wash him as quickly as possible.

The funny thing was he loved going to the swimming pool, so we know it wasn't the water he was afraid of. We think it may have had something to do with the sound of the running water since his screaming started after he got ear tubes. He also became sensitive to other sounds at this time.

Just give it some time and try to be patient.

My son hated baths as well, I have no idea why but he would shake and scream. So, I started to take him i the shower with me. I would hold him or sit in the bottom of the shower and hold him to wash him. I made sure he was always secure against my chest so he did not feel scared. I also nursed him when he wanted to. He was nervious at first, but grew to love the shower. Now, at almost 3 he loves the shower! He will sit and play in the water just like he would a bath. He only asks for baths occationally, but gets a shower every day. It is a great time saver when we have to get ready in a hurry, I can shower him and dress him in the same time it would take me to run bath water. Some blessings come in strange packages I gusss! I hope this helps. Oh, you might look at the baby shampoo you use my son cried with many of them. I think we finally settled on Aveno baby wash as the best for skin and eye sensitivity. Anyway, I hope you are able to find a good solution!

Take Care and God Bless!

My first loved all baths once we were past the sponge bath. My second hated baths until he could sit up. He screamed in the infant tub and if I tried showering with him. Once he was sitting good I ditched the infant tub and got the bath seat out. He has loved baths ever since. THe seat offers a feeling of security but allows movement and play. You didn't mention that you'd tried something like the bath seat. Also make sure the temp is good for him, he may prefer it warmer or cooler than you do. Do you fill the tub before putting him in or not? Have you tried both? Do you wait and drain the tub after he's out. My oldest did have a thing about the drain. I had to get him out, dried, and dressed and then go back in the bathroom and drain the tub. He didn't like the sound and was afraid he'd be sucked out with the water. This last until he was about 3 and started around 9 mths.

my son was like this, until i started taking a bath with him. i did that for a while, then he finaly got use to the water, without being afraid.. hope this helps-P.

Hello K.,

I'm so sorry to hear about your little man's fears of bathing. When my son was first born, I had the exact same problem. It was hard to hear him scream during the entire bath. I can truly sympathize with you. My son was colicky. I decided to take my son to the chiropractor and his colic went away by the time he was 10 weeks. Did your son have colic as a newborn? Does your son have lots of gastrointestinal problems? Does he prefer to be on his belly or his back? These are issues my husband and I encountered and with the chiropractic sessions they slowly went away. If he's sitting up then look at his posture. If you don't think he needs to see a chiropractor then if you haven't tried this already allow him to run his hands or place his feet under the faucet of luke warm/cool water. Watch his reaction: does he like the feel of the water, how long does he keep his hands underneath the faucet, does he like the sound of the running water, what does he do when you turn the faucet on? Maybe doing these exercises twice a day for 3 minutes or so will slowly desensitize him and he'll enjoy being in the water. These are things I tried with my son and along with the diminishing of his colic helped him with bathtime.

Hope this helps.
Princes....wife to Damani & mother of Prince 6 months old

I've had the same problem, but my only solution is time.

My youngest, now 13, has always hated baths. This perplexed me, too, because his older brothers loved them. From the time he was very little he screamed during his bath. This continued through his toddler period and up until he was about 7 or 8. Giving him a bath, or getting him to take a bath, was a real chore and I always came out of it as wet as he did.

As he got older, though, I convinced him to take showers. These were more tolerable for him. He still rarely bathes without being reminded, but he loves to swim so his problems with water have definitely disappeared.

One of the most amazing things about being a mother is learning how very different your kids can be. I've always done my best to work with their differences.

One of my children hated baths as a baby too. Just have the bath water ready to go. Wash his hair and body quickly and get him out as quickly as you can. Make sure the bathroom is really warm before you start. When my son got older he told us he hated taking a bath because he was cold.

have you tried actually getting in the tub with him, and letting him nurse while you gently wash him off? Even if you are a bottle feeder, just being on your bare skin, and on your chest hearing your heartbeat helps calm wonderfully, the phernomes(?) he gets from your breastmilk is an additional bonus that helps calm and soothe.
M. CPM