Seeking Advice on 20 Month Old NOT Speaking Yet.

You may need to evaluate how everyone responds to her. If her needs are being anticipated and met too quickly she may not feel a need to speak. With two adults and a much older sister in the house, my guess is that this may be at least a part of the reason she isn't talking. Also, try teaching her by using some sign language for some words. We've found using signs along with speech can help a child begin to verbalize.

I'd say it's time to seek early intervention speech therapy.

By the way, I found the comment about tv interesting. I was wondering myself if there was someone that always did the talking for her.

I'd probably be worried enough to talk to her doctor. There is speech therapy that can be started very young. My nephew started speech therapy at that age.

Don't worry about the time table of your daughter's speech.
I have been a pre-school teacher. Often, a child will come into the class speaking only an occasional word, and all of a sudden, take off. And once they start, wow!!! Often, non-stop.

Usually, a child who doesn't start early has someone who always talks for him/her. This happened with one of my own children, too. My son said only an occasional word. I could tell that he did not have a learning disability because of other things he did. But he had a sister three years older who always spoke for him. And grandparents who anticipated his every desire and he didn't have to ask for anything. All at once when he was almost three, he started talking in complete sentences with a vocabulary that astonished everyone. Clearly, he'd been listening!!!!

All this to say, let her develop speech at her own pace. If speech is delayed after three, there may be a developmental problem that will need some help. Lots of children just rely on someone else to do their talking and getting them what they want. But if they associate talking with something negative that happened to them, that may delay speech even longer. And if she is a really strong-willed child, she may use not-talking as her "power card" for getting lots of attention. Be relaxed about that, don't ask her to say things or mimic. Talk to her, read to her, play with her. And be "ignorant" but RELAXED when she wants something and expects you to provide it without her saying anything. She'll start to learn other ways to let you know what she wants, and all of a sudden, she may find out that saying what she wants gets it. ;-)

My son was the same way. Turns out he has aprexia. It is a type of speech delay. First step is to schedule an appt with her Dr. and ask for a hearing test and tell her your concerns. Get her evaluated by a speech therapist, usually covered by insurance. Once you do that they will direct you. Don't wait, the early you catch it, the better.

You should probably get a speech and language evaluation, and get her hearing checked. Ask your pediatrician for what s/he thinks and ask for recommendations on where to get an evaluation. Good Luck.

My son is not speaking yet and he is 18 months. I also have a friend with a 20 month old girl who has only a few words. I think that the rate of development really varies from child to child. At our 18 month appointment with the pediatrician, she was not worried about his language, so I've decided to try to relax and be patient.

Hi, I would check out a speech eval for her. But don't stress over it. its no big deal, and it will only help her out - having any sort of therapy won't hurt. You can still relax and enjoy her while checking this out.

Hi J.,

You need to take this seriously. What you describe sounds like autism. I have a slightly autistic daughter. She gave me clues that something was ammiss. But people around me kept telling me she was ok- she would grow out of it.Even a pediatrician. If your motherly instinct is telling you she seems "a little behind" then the reality is there. By the way, my daughter also had some strengths similar to your daughter. She was, and still is, a whiz at puzzles, and she was exceptioanlly good at catching a ball as well. So much more so than my other two. She is good at math (logic/ puzzles.)Her imagination is amazing. She was always a "watcher" and was content to suck her thumb and observe the action. She is by no means stupid, she just can't communicate at the level she should.
Look up CAPD online.

Signs of autism:

Central auditory processing disorder.
Loud sounds like a radio will hurt their ears. Sound may fluctuate up and down for them.( you wont know this until they are older)they might be able to hear just fine, but will have a hard time "hearing" people in a room with background noise.May tend to read lips.
slightly Slower to sit up, crawl and hold bottle than other children.may not hold own bottle. May not babble or have reduced babbling.
Has been on antibiotics for ear infections.
Stays sick longer than others in the household/suppressed immune system.
High tolerance to pain ,or can't take minimal pain.
Resistant to cuddle or can't sit still on lap, constantly getting up.
No fear of danger.
Doesnt point with one finger.
uses gestures instead of words. Inability to put two words together. Will have a hard time with muti sylable words or scentences with 2-3 words in it. may be slower to walk (a few months behind) than other children. Might not cruise furniture, use a walker or crawl. Lacks social cues- doesn't really respond to self in mirror.Might not seek out others to look at, smile at, as when you are in a store, etc.
antibiotic sensitivities/allergy.
deep or gruff voice (+2 yrs) . possible IBS symptoms or bloated belly.
frequent outbursts or melt downs,agressive,sometimes for no good reason.
Possible thrush(mouth fungus) or extreme diaper rashes as an infant.
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Autism rates are absolutely soaring in California and the rest of the nation is following. People have been so used to seeing children with the inability to speak or communicate that it has become the norm. I am very sensitive to it, as I have a daughter with speech delays. But watching a documentary of children in Isreal and Palestine, the way these varous children spoke, I could see clearly that these children have far superior communication and speaking skills to American kids.

They don't grow out of it. My child started out a month behind on milestones as an infant, and as she grew, the gaps got larger. She was a year behind on speaking ability as a toddler. people told me she's grow out of it. By the time she was 4 she was 2 years behind where my other child was at that age.At age 6.5 she can speak and talk, but she doesn't have the vocabulary she should for her age.She still lacks in communication. 4 or more syllable words like "remarkable" just don't come out of her mouth.

I think the reason you get so many responses of people saying its ok for them to not speak is that it is so common now.

Environmental factors are at work. TOXINS. overload of toxins are a big part of the problem. Toxins help bacteria, fungi and parasites to thrive. Once the immune system is suppressed, all kinds of infections can infect the CNS.

Give your child 10-15 mg of iodine a day. This one is important. (no, iodized salt won't take care of this requirement).It helps detox the body ,leaching out the mercury, and keeps bacteria and viruses at bay.

give Fulvic acid every day to give all the trace minerals missing in our diets, and help detox the body and help get rid of heavy metals.
bentonite clay to help get rid of heavy metals.

Get a chlorine / floride filter on your water- both are poison to the central nervous system and also affect the thyroid.

Stay away from Estrogenic factors/endocrine disruptors:

Soy and all its derivatives (in all proccessed foods, as soy extract, soy casienate, soy protein, etc)and soy milks

Chlorine - (also blocks iodine receptors )including pools, splenda, sucralose, hot tubs.

dental sealants

Parabens -found in most lotions and sun tan lotions.

Plastics

BHT - preservatives (cereals, etc)

Corn products (have lots of fungus in them from the silos)

Detergents
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Some people have found that giving the children alka seltzer GOLD has helped autism trememndously.

Others say there is a connection between autism and a bacteria called borrelia b., the bacteria resposible for lyme disease. (it is transferrable by moquitos,fleas, tics, and in-utero, it is becoming an epidemic.)Another good reason to take iodine, bacteria hides behind heavy metals)

Huma worm pills *(humaworm.com) to deparasize. there are several parasites that infect the central nervous system.

Use boron (borax- the laundry detg) to wash her hair and simply rinse it out. No more toxic chemicals in shampoos like isopropyl products, parabens, bht, etc...

Good luck,
Gail

Hi J.,
Well, I think it's pretty natural to be worried about this, especially with girls since they usually pick up speech before boys of the same age. I've read some of the previous answers and I just want to say I would give it some time before you start getting too freaked out. I have a 2 year old girl and she still only has a handful of words we can truly identify. She babbles constantly (so I bet she's saying things we just can't quite catch, yet!), and she is a watcher. She watches everybody and everything very closely. She can hear just fine and she can understand words just fine, because when we tell her to do something, she does it with no problem. I am refusing to worry about it right now because I know the intelligence and hearing are there. Countless times I have seen the same things with girls and boys. They say very little for a long time and then suddenly break into full sentences nearly from one day to the next. So I totally understand your fears because I'm there, but I also understand that this behaviour can be as normal as anything else. Just give it some time. You are doing everything right. Just relax and have fun with her. I'd be willing to bet $1000 she will kick in and you won't be able to shut her up. I'm waiting for that shoe to drop in my house, too! God bless.

There have been some good suggestions, like getting hearing checked, and having your pediatrician evaluate her. But, given that, I will tell you that I had an early speaking first child (by 2 years old, people thought she was 3 because she spoke so well), but my second daughter was like yours. I started counting (and writing down) her identifiable words, for her 2 year old pediatrician visit, so that there would be some objective measurement of her vocabulary. About a month before her 2 year appointment (at 23 months, so older than your daughter), she suddenly started speaking in complete sentences! It was so bizarre. She went from only saying a few isolated single words a few times a day to speaking 3 to 4 word sentences. And at 3 1/2 she speaks better than most of her peers in terms of other adults being able to understand her, and having a very advanced vocabulary. So I don't think it necessarily means anything that your child isn't speaking much yet.

She should have a repetoire of words by now. Sounds like she probably has a speech delay and you should seek advice on getting her tested/help from your pediatrician and your school district. Speech delays are usually just that -speech delays.In rarer cases, speech delays can be a symptom of something larger such as Asbergers or Autism. Best wishes to you.

Don't panic. Some kids just develope speech slower. My youngest, almost three, didn't speak until 26 months. She was the latest of my three but you would never know it from talking to her. Your daughter will talk at her own pace.

Hi J.,

While it is normal for children to develop at their own pace, I would still seek an early intervention assessment. Given what you described about your daughters grunting or lack of response, I would guess that she may be having some trouble with her communication.

We have a 4.5 year old son with Speech Apraxia. At age two, he was not speaking at all. He had a few single words, but otherwise he would say "da" for almost everything. His ped said to give him time, but I knew something else was wrong. We got the evaluation done and got him right into speech and occupational therapy. He began with single words around age 3, and is now speaking in sentences. He still requires some prompting and help occasionally, but he is doing great!! He still does a lot of therapy though! Also, Apraxia is difficult to diagnose at an early age, because the child has to have enough language to get a comparative sample.

Get the evaluation ASAP and Good Luck!

A. C

If you haven't done so already, you need to have her hearing checked. Sometimes children don't speak because they can't hear or they are repeating what little they can hear, which was the case with my son. If her hearing is good, she still might benefit from going to speech therapy to help her to make sounds and form words.

Have you asked your pediatrician about it? Is she developing normally otherwise? You can contact Matrix, they can refer you to your local Early Start team and your local parents group to help you find the resources to put your mind at ease or get help, whichever is appropriate. The services of Matrix (or your local group, if they aren't) are at no charge, as are those of Early Start and the services they refer you to. http://www.matrixparents.org/

I would give it 4-5 more months...especially if she seems to be hearing and is responging to your voices. Usually 24+ months is more normal for talking. Keep repeating words...especially regarding something your little one is really excited about. Keep reading too...good job!

However, if she has chronic ear infections or fluid in her ears when you see the Dr., you may want to see an Ear/Nose/Throat Dr. just to be on the safe side. We just found out that our little one had 30-40% hearing loss from fluid in her ears that had probably built up since she was about 2 yo. She just got tubes and had adenoids removed and the difference in hearing, sleeping and attitude are day and night! It is amazing!!

Hi J.,

I don't want to scare you, but have you had her hearing tested? (oops, didn't read all the other responses before originally posting this).My husband's parents discovered his hearing loss about that age under similar circumstances. His parents knew he "heard" certain things so they ruled that out. He had some hearing as a toddler but now he is profoundly deaf. Please know that if it is a hearing loss, there's a lot of choices for you and it's not the end of the world. Of course it may not be this at all too. Some kids just take their time and speak better than most when they do decide to talk.

Good luck and please feel free to message me if it does turn out your daughter has a hearing loss as I have been involved in working with deaf and hearing impaired kids and adults.

My oldest will be 6 in April, at his 2 year ck up, I brought my concerns to our pediatrician because he only said about 10 words. My pediatrician assured me this was normal and to give him more time. He told me if his vocabulary had not increased by the time he was 26 months old to make another appointment and he'd do further testing. He also told me that if he hadn't increased his vocabulary by then that he'd be making a referral to County Schools for testing. I decided to contact the County myself & talk with someone. They gave me options but said they felt I should wait 2 more months before committing to this lengthy process. Amazingly enough, almost to the day, he began taking and his vocabulary increased rapidly. We just had a meeting with his kindergarten teacher and one of his strengths is his vocabulary and ability to verbalize his thoughts & feelings. I laugh at myself now and my concern. Go with your gut, talk to your pediatrician and remember every child is different and they all go at their own pace. Good luck!

My daughter didn't say her first word until she was just shy o fher second birthday. She is two-and-a-half now and speaks beautifully, better than some of the other kids her age who started sooner! My pediatrician wanted her tested for all sorts of developmental disorders, but I told her that most of the kids in my family skipped babbling and went straight to two-word sentences usually between 2 and 3 years of age. She kept pushing, I switched doctors, and Catherine is a regular chatty Cathy now--with a doctor who understands that children develop at their own pace. As long as your child appears normal in all other developmental and emotional ways, enjoys interacting with you, I wouldn't worry. I did have Catherine's hearing checked, because hearing issues also run in our family, but beyond that, I just gave her time.

Bring your concerns to the attention of your doctor and he can evaluate her. I think as long as she responds to her name and other sounds she is ok but its always better to error on the side of caution.

I'm surprised by the responses you are getting. But maybe I am misunderstanding your request. If the issue is that she is not using words than that's not a big deal. My first daughter started speaking around 11-12 months and my second wasn't until well into her 2 year. Children progress at different speeds. This same question appears every couple a months and the usual response is that kids progress at different speeds. I would not panic. Good-luck.

I work with someone who's grandson had the same delayed speech development and they thought he would eventually outgrow this stage. His mother is a nurse and after a while began to think that he should be evaluated professionally. (He was a little over 2 years of age.)

They found out that his hearing was impaired and he couldn't understand words at all. Since then, he's been seeing a speech therapist and is speaking quite well...that is, for him...he's still not on track with other children his age. (He's four now.)

Just thought I would pass this information along and hope that you find some resolution for you and your family.

Dear J.,

This happened with my husband. His mom told me that he didn't talk until he was around 2 years old. She said his first words were, "You'll never guess what I have in the freezer!" So, he was actually capable of speech, but wasn't doing it. The clue to your situation may be the "amazing big sister". My husband's family determined that his two older sisters were so busy catering to him and treating him as the adored younger brother that he never had to express himself fully to get what he wanted. Ask the sister to wait until Marissa asks for something before getting it, and so on. Older siblings have a powerful impact. If Marissa knows that her sister is waiting for her to talk, I bet she will do it.

I think you are right on track with waiting to see a professional. If I may recommend something specific... the Baby Babble DVD's are great for encouraging language! I have a son who has a speech delay and these have really kept his interest and got him wanting to talk. They were created by speech therapists and really work well. Its a non-invasive thing you can do now. Your daughter will just see them as a movie she gets to watch, but I think you will soon hear her imitating sounds and even words.
They are similar in style to the baby einstein dvd series, but made specifically to encourage language. They work great! You can get them at amazon.com for about $14 a piece and if you buy both you get free shipping. Definitely worth it. They aren't in any stores I've found.

She should have had meaningful words about the same time she started walking. Contact your local school district and ask to speak with Early Intervention. Tell them what you have written here. They will send someone to the house to do a complete assessment to rule out other delays. This is a free program and can provide speech therapy in your home.

L.

Hi J.,
My son didn't talk until 18 months old. It can happen. We learned that watching ANY tv or videos can slow their speech development. We took our toddler off all media and he started talking shortly after!

Hi J.,

I just spent the last two days as a medical conference about developmental disabilities and one of the speakers specifically addressed delays in speech. She is Heidi Feldman, M.D. at UCSF, and she said that kids should start their first words beyond mama and dada at 12 months and from 18 - 24 months should be acquiring about 2 new words per week. At 24 months they should know about 50 words and be stringing two words into short "sentences," like "doggie woof." She also said about 15% of kids don't meet this 24-month criteria. It does seem that your 20-month-old is at the 12-month-old level or perhaps even below.

Her basic message, and again this was directed at pediatricians, was that kids who aren't meeting these criteria need to be referred to specialists that can help and under no circumstances should the doctor and parent take a "wait and see" approach. There are all kinds of things that affect a child's acquisition of speech, from the home life (which sounds good, with your reading, etc.), to hearing issues, to physical issues, etc. But, the earlier you begin to intervene the better your results will be.

So, it seems to me that you should bring this to the attention of your pediatrician and if he or she advises you to "wait and see" how your daugheter develops, I would demand a referral or find another pediatrician.

Good luck with it all!

K. Spears

Contact the Valley Mountain Regional Center for an evaluation through their early start program. It may take a while to get an evaluation so get started soon. As your child approaches the age of 3 then your school district needs to become involved.
One important thing to look for in addition to her speaking, is what are her attempts to communicate with or without speech. how doess she let you know what she wants? Does she look at you? point? make noises. The intent to communicate is as important as the actual speech. Your pediatrician or a developmental pediatrician would be good to get involved at this point too.
Good luck
J.

When our daughter was under a year we had her eats tubes to help with infections. They tested her hearing before hand and we discovered she had a significant hearing loss. She too loved stories and books. She had mastered the buttons on the TV, so she instinctively turned the volume up to 36.

Additionally, at one of her check-up appts. the doctor simply asked if she was speaking because she NEVER spoke at the dr. office (shy). She asked what words she could say and we told them, "K" is milk and "ing" is swing.

Before the surgery, when she spoke, it was TOUGH to understand. It made sense after we had the hearing results.As it turned out wasn't hearing the first sounds/syllable of words.

After the operation, her hearing was tested again, and it was back to normal range and the TV was down to 14. The best part was, within two weeks, she was speaking in full sentences. She had a lot to say and once she could hear, it all clicked for her.

I would see the doc about your concerns and request an extensive hearing test.

You could have her pedo refer her for an evaluation from your Regional Center-free services! It is unusual to have so little vocab at that age, but not necessarily a problem. The Regional Center speech therapist can determine if there are any muscular issues in her tongue etc and work with her to improve.
Good luck!

Are there any developmental issues, was she a late walker? Do you have her on a pretty strict schedule? Have you tried sign language?

My twin boys born premature, have developmental delays. They didn't walk until almost 2 and they still aren't communicating well. We have a speech therapist that comes to our home twice a week and still they only speak a few words. The one thing I learned, is that when they are ready they will talk. Suddenly you will hear three or four words and then want her to repeat it and she won't. Have you voiced your concerns to your ped?

Best of luck and don't worry...
R.