Seeking Advice from Twin Mothers

Maybe you can start their routine even earlier. They could be over tired by the time they try to go to sleep. Or they could be just testing you. My 2.5 year old does all the time! Can you separate them when they sleep? Are they in the same bed?

Hi A.-
My twin boys are 4yrs old and we have never had a hard time with the bedtime routine. My kids may be freaks of nature but like you, I also have a routine at night. Ever since they were babies, we had this whole "relaxing" process. As they got older, the routine changed but only slightly. Basically, after their bath, we read together in my bed for about a half hour then I put something relaxing for them to watch like a DVD or a not too stimulating kids program. That seems to do the trick. Then I brush their teeth and put them in bed. I've always kept a CD player in their room and play lullabyes while napping or going to bed. I swear by it! My boys dropped their nap when they were 3, which seems to be the average age kids stop napping. I'm not sure if your girls still nap but maybe drop the nap and put them down earlier so they will get a full night's rest. They should be tired enough. Good luck!

My twins struggled with bedtime as well at that age. They both still took naps but my daughter really fought having to sleep. So if she had napped she had the energy to keep him awake. I wasn't willing to give up the hour and a half during the day when they napped so I sort of knew I was choosing my poison. My advice is this--determine whether they both need a nap. If one or both does not, then give it up. Start by alternating days with naps. The more tired they are the easier it should be to get them to sleep at night. With no nap you can also egde their bedtime up a bit. You can also consider separating their rooms, maybe just for naptime (that way if one is tired she can sleep and if the other isn't she can have quiet time), or maybe for bedtime too. Our kids shared until they were almost 5, but by about 3.5 they were back to being ok about getting to sleep. Everything really is "just a phase" though I know how sucky these phases can be! Good Luck!

Hi, A.! I would first like to say that you have my respect. My little guys take a lot of energy and we don't have nearly so nice a bedtime routine, and I have help. What a wonderful thing your are doing for your girls. My boys aren't twins, but they are 3 and 2, and they share a room. We have the same problem here. I just let them play until they fall asleep. When it gets quiet I go into their room and make sure they're in their beds so they can sleep restfully the rest of the night. Another thing I did was took the nightlight out. For one thing it kept getting pulled out and played with anyway, and for another it made it dark enough that staying up wasn't as appealing. I hope you find something that works for you.

Hi A.--

I have 2&1/2 yr old twin boys. They are definitely excitable as well and have started talking to eachother a lot before going to sleep. I think it is totally normal. There are a couple things you can do. 1-- put them down earlier so they can still have "their" time and get to bed at a reasonable hour. 2-- if you have another bedroom you can put them in separate rooms.-- If you don't and it is really bad-- then maybe one has to start out in your bed. If it isn't really bad-- then I would just let them have a little twin time where they talk and connect-- but just put them down a little earlier.

Good luck

It has been a long time since my twins grew up but I still remember nighttimes. I also had an 18 month old and they all had to share the same room. Bed time was very early - 7:00, bath, a story and into bed. Keep a cd player with soft music of any kind playing, even during the story. I would just kiss everybody good night and leave the room. They would lay and talk to each other or themselves. I didn't care how long that went on because it very seldom lasted more than 15 minutes. If they slept until 6 or 6:30 the next morning they were getting plenty of sleep. What are they having for snack? Maybe too much sugar. Try just a glass of milk. The calcium will make them sleepy.

I found that with most problems the less attention paid to them the better.

My twins are now adults raising their own children and they are ever amazed that I "dealt" with 2 at a time.

Ok so what I do and works for us, is we put the harder one to go to sleep first.

Then our other child who has a G-Tube feeding late at night anyways keep her up later then about an hr or so later put her to bed and hook her up and tell her shh ans to go to sleep.

Their bed is a day bed with trundle. So this is what we do and it works for us.

We do the dinner, then bath, then pj's & last snack/ drink and then teeth brushing and then bed time stuff then sleep. Now the first to go down it our ADHD child we kiss her good night then tell her sweet dreams we love her and how we will see her in the morning and what we will be doing the next day and how it will be so much fun and that she has to sleep so we can do that fun thing tomorrow even if it's help mommy make dinner. She is excited to go to sleep now because she is looking forward to tomorrow. We walk away she tends to take a good 30 mins to get to sleep, she will play or talk to her self and sometimes come to the door but unless it's something important we will her with letting her see us, to go to sleep and remind her of the next day and say sweet dreams and to go to sleep please. But she always fusses a little, even when she was a baby.

Good luck.

Hi,
I feel your pain, I have thirteen month old twins and my friend who has almost three year old twin boys told me she is experiencing exactly what you are going through. As a result, as soon as mine turned one, I separated their bedrooms, my daughter was screaming (she went to the new room) as soon as we left her for the first three days, then her new routine kicked in, night night to brother, and daddy, baby einstien lullaby CD and book, then hugs and kisses from mommy and I was out the door, she awake in her crib, first 19 minutes, second night 12 minutes, third night 4 minutes, by the fourth night she seemed happy to see us go.
It is never too late to separate rooms if you have the option, they play together all day they don't need to sleep together to be close.
If you don't have hte option, my advice is to make sure your kids know how to fall asleep on their own, rather than being put to sleep, if you knwo what I mean. I would tell them abpout the importance of respecting other peoples sleep, why we speak quietly and don't wake a sleeping person. and pray that they stop, or at least if they wake each other up, they know how to put themselves back to sleep. Good luck.

Although not twins, I have a 4.5 and 2.5 year old who basically sleep next to each other in their own beds.
You need to let them know, in no uncertain terms, that you are in charge.
If my kids don't do as I say, I let them know what is expected of them and what consequence will follow if they don't abide by my demand. And yes, they push the envelope and then a swift slap on the bottom lets them know I mean business.
That's all it takes.
Of course, it's consistency that matters most of all. I never give empty threats; and they know it.

Guidelines with consequences give them safety. You being in control will make them feel safe and loved; as well as everyone getting a good night's sleep.

good luck

if at all possible separate bedrooms. My twin sister and I did the same thing - and still do. when she stays the night with her kids (1 or 2x/week)we stay up talking till we drop. In high school we had separate bedrooms and I think that is the only time I didn't stay up till the wee hours talking.

As a twin mom I ditto the earlier bedtime advice. They will have their time together no matter what. I would sit in the room some nights but mainly because one of them would stop breathing and I wanted to monitor him. If there is no cosequence to the behavior it will continue. So that may be an avenue to consider also.

A.,

I am also a single mother of girl/boy twins, though they are 9 now. (Not to mentiona 13 yr old that likes to stir them up!)
I also have had this problem and sometimes still do...what I do when it gets to be to much is split them up....one goes in my bed till they both fall asleep then the one in my bed gets put back in their bed. If they cant behave I split them and they dont want that. Seems to work for me :)