Seeking Advice from Other Mom's About Home Schooling and Other Education Options

I am going through the same thing, except my son is in Kindergarten. There is a clinic in Houston that is called "The Blue Bird Clinic" (you can google it) and they test neurological disorders along with learning disabilities. They will do so much more for her than any school or physician down here could ever do. Once they locate her problem, they then will be mediators between the parent and the school. There is that new statue out.."No child left behind" Act. They are wonderful and a God sent at the Blue Bird Clinic....hope this helps. Please keep me notified. Good Luck.

S.

Dear T.:
Her parents can really just do one thing, if hiring outside help is not an option. They'll have to do it themselves. I went through it with my son in 1st grade - he was hopelessly behind in reading it seemed.

1) Cancel all TV and other 'fun' activities except for a short play time with friends and maybe something special on a weekend day. Not as punishment, but as a time saver. Make sure all TVs and radios are off when you start. Make it clear to her that she needs to catch up in order not to repeat, so she does not feel punished.
2) Go through the whole program with her yourself. If it is anything like our school, they may have weekly spelling and/or vocabulary tests. Do one a day to catch up, and don't forget the current one (to keep up in the present). Redo the homeworks and watch where she struggles. Find out whether she does not understand the question or the topic. I found that sometimes my son did not understand the question, and when I rephrased or explained it, he knew the answer.
3) Read to her and have her read. Reading visualizes spelling. Make sure she pauses correctly and reads what is there. If she reads 'father' instead of 'farther', it may not be the pronunciation but sloppy reading where she missed the 'r'. Also, if you have any sign of recurring slurs or omissions, talk to the school about speech therapy. Have her read a lot below grade level (for confidence and speed), a normal portion at grade level (to remain at par) and a little above grade level (for the challenge).
4) In math you have to take a two-step approach. First make sure she knows how to do something. E.g., if you need to subtract with regrouping, she needs to fully understand what to do. 9 4 1 - 3 1 5 becomes 9 3 11 - 3 1 5, leading to 6 2 6 of course. In the second step, she needs to practise this many times to let it sink in. Doing step 2 without step 1 will not yield results. I also found it helpful to give my son an occasional 8- or 9-digit number set instead of 3 or 4 to make him lose the fear of large numbers.

When her grades go up, reward her with an occasional TV show or an extra movie visit to excite her. Make it clear that it is for her progress, and that there is more where that came from. This also shows her that eventually she won't have to work so hard. Tell her that once she is at par with all 'B's and better, she won't have to do extra work.

Finally, cooperate with the teachers and ask them to reward her for 'C's and 'D's, given where she is coming from. Have them give her praise for what others do not consider so great a grade.

When I did that, my son was at half the speed he needed in November (2004) and the teachers were about to recommend a repetition of first grade. They did not think he'd make it. I found out EXACTLY in which areas he needed the most help, which happened to be reading and some math. In January, he was at 5/8 of the (upward moving) target, the tests where in April. Since learning curves get steeper later, he was able to catch up and make it. But I let my son know what was at stake, and I did read with him excessively. I also filled him in on his status. The teachers were nice enough to schedule his final test at the very end to give him more time.

I hope this helps a bit, but there's no shortcut to her work efforts. Unfortunately, it also requires a lot of her parents' time (or possibly yours as well?).

Regards,
W.

My name is W.. I have 3 children, ages 10, 8 & 6 mos. I recently quit my full-time job to homeschool my kids. They were on a waiting list for Arkansas Virtual School, which is a program paid for by the Arkansas Department of Education, with funds provided by the Federal Government. My kids' names came up a couple of months ago, and I grabbed the slots immediately. They provide the curriculum, a computer and offset the cost for online access on a quarterly basis. The parent guides their child(ren) through the curriculum, and each family is assigned a teacher in the program to guide them through the process. It is a lot of hard work, but the child can learn at his/her own pace. It is much better than being held back or left behind the rest of the class. Just fill out a form if you are interested with the Arkansas Department of Education. I think the deadline for next fall is sometime in January. I have struggled for years with public school teachers, and have been frustrated by their lack of interest in my child's education. This program is a much better alternative.

Wolgang is right on. First, your friend MUST make every attempt to work extra with her child at home. See if the teacher can get her some extra practice sheets that they can work on. As an elementary school teacher, I do not agree with homeschooling. It does work for some families, but in my professional experience children who are homeschooled by parents that do not have educational training and experience end up behind their peers who go to mainstream school not only academically but socially. I'm not saying homeschool can't be done well, but it is definitely not appropriate for all students. In my opinion, homeschooling is definitly NOT appropriate for a student who is already far behind. The teacher saying that she can't go back and reteach everything is not unreasonable. The mom who said all students are entitled to a free and appropriate education is correct, but that includes all the other kids in that class. It is not fair to them to have to repeat lessons over and over because one student doesn't get it the first time around. It is possible that your friend's child may need special ed services. Parents are so reluctant to have their kids get help from SPED programs because they are afraid they child will have a stigma put with them or that they will be stuck in special ed never to see a mainstream classroom again. That is truly no longer the case. Most students in SPED attend mainstream classes, but they pull out for subjects with which they are having the most trouble. They also receive modifications to help them in their mainstream classes. For example, if the 3rd graders have a 20 word spelling list, a child in SPED may only be responsible for 10 of those words. This is only an example since students' modifications are specifically tailored to the needs of the student. Finally, if all else fails, repeating a grade is not the end of the world. Some kids just need that extra year to catch up and then have no problem later on. But I will say if a child is going to repeat, then the earlier they repeat the better. In my opinion, it is better to repeat 3rd grade then to get caught by the LEAP test in 4th. No parent wants their child repeat a grade, but sometimes that is really what the child needs. However, I would immediatly spend as much time as possible working at home, while still remembering she is a child and does need some time each day to kick back and be a 9 year old. Have your friends seriously check into whether or not her child will qualify for SPED services. It really isn't at all like the way it used to be. Like I mentioned before, I am an elementary school teacher and would be happy to answer any other questions ou may have if you want to message me.

Before they punish her for her failures, they need to make sure she does not have a learning disability. Mom can ask the school to have her tested for this. She may have to hire an educational advocate. I see you live in Houston and I have an excellent one in the area that I use for my son. It may be a behavioral issue, it could be a learning diability, it could be any number of things and I hate to see a child summarily having all privileges taken away for something that is not their fault. This child has a right to a free appropriate public education by federal law and there are people out there that can help you make sure she gets it. It does not matter if the teacher doesn't "have time to reteach the material". That is an unacceptable response. Mom needs to get with the principal of the school NOW to request intervention and if she does not feel that they are taking her seriously, I have someone that can make them listen.
Let me know if you want the information.
C.

While my child is not old enough to go to school yet, I do have some knowledge about this since I was homeschooled while growing up and my mother was the administrator of a homeschool academy in our area. I have also worked as a nanny for homeschooled children and have seen it done very well and very poorly. As I'm sure other people have told you, school is wonderful for some people and homeschooling is wonderful for others, it really depends on the child and on the parents. For me, it was wonderful, it allowed me the freedom to pursue my passions in the fine arts; as for my brother and sister, they both went to school eventually and preferred that. At home, you have the opportunity to bring learning alive with much more hands on lessons and creative field trips. The parent who teaches their child at home must have time to commit to seeing that things are being done and extreme patience to teach something over and over until it is driven home. One of the wonderful things about it is the ability to let a child excel and move forward with the things they are good at while lingering on the things they are having trouble with. This allows the child a modicum of pride in their work and boosts their self esteem allowing them to further excel. The biggest problem you run into with homeschooling is lack of contact with others which is vital to a child's development. If your friend were to consider homeschooling it is very important to have her child involved in activities (sports, dance, music, whatever she likes) so that she has a chance to socially develop. All that said, homeschooling is easier than it has ever been with so many resources and a plethora of people who have chosen that route. If you or your friend have any questions, feel free to contact me and I will be happy to answer them as well as I can.

I've been doing a lot of research on homeschooling and I think it sounds like a great option. I am going to start homeschooling my son in Pre-K next year. My best friend homeschools her children. People have a bad view of homeschooling, but it isn't bad. Even for children who aren't having problems, it can be great. You get to spend the time with your child on the things they need help with. You also get to explore deeper the things they really enjoy. It's not easy and parents have to pick the option that is right for their family. It's not a punishment though. It can be a lot of fun. Each state has it's own guidelines for homeschooling, so your friend will need to do her own research. There is a good book I checked out from the library called "Getting Started on Home Learning:How and Why to teach your Kids at Home", by Rebecca Rupp. It was very informative. I highly suggest researching this option before dismissing it. Even if the child has a learning disabilitly, most schools just don't have the time or money to concentrate on one student. I'm not trying to push this down anyone's throat. I believe that homeschool isn't right for everyone, but it should at least be considered. Many Blessings. D.

Hey,
Wolfgang has some great advice. But additionally, I would immediately set an appointment with the principal and teacher to find out exactly why she's not getting it. The down side to some of our good (few, but good) public schools is that they have to slow down for everybody to "get it." Anyone can teach a smart kid, but it takes a really good teacher to teach a child who is having trouble.
Also, the parents need to do whatever it takes to ensure that their child isn't left behind -- whether it means delivering pizzas at night for extra money to pay tutors, or just making time to sit down after school for 3-4 hours every afternoon going over the work. The parents might just need to re-teach all of the material for her to catch up, and for her to learn what she's missing in class.

I look at the sacrafices that my parents made for my education, and money was never an excuse. This takes total dedication from the parents.

One more thing -- might want to get hearing and vision checked out.

Public schools are required to do testing for learning disabilites and other issues for FREE at least in Texas. If her daughter is failing school then they should have already approached the mother themselves. Problem is people are lazy or just don't care (talking about the people at school).

To formally initiate this testing process you must have your friend write a very simple letter. It should be addressed to the principal of the school. It should say very specifically that she is concerned as her daughter is failing school, they have worked with the teacher, made every effort at home, and no progress has been made. Then it should say "I would like to immediately have my daughter tested for learning disabilites and evaluated for recieving special educational services."

I had to do this with my oldest. The process is not perfect but at least you can get the testing done for FREE and see if that is where an issue lies. It is my understanding that even if a child's testing doesn't find any known issues that any failing child should qualify for special attention from guidence counselors and teachers that are there specifically to help kids struggling with work.

She should also be able to go to the school, ask for the principal and ask for booklets and information about the service offerings related to special education.

Send me a PM if you have trouble!

Maybe the childs mom should take atleast an hour to sit with her daughter and review the work she did in school. I think maybe she should also take her daughter to the doctor. She might have a learning problem. Or maybe changing her teacher would help too. Cause I mean speaking for myself sometimes you can someone explain something to you and you dont get it then someone else comes and tell you the same thing in a different way and pow there you go it sinks in..

Dear T.,

Our family homeschools, and the benefits are just endless. There are certainly benefits regarding academics, but it goes so far beyond that for us. Simply having the closer bond as a family is worth it! I struggled for a long time, though, with the idea. I wanted to do it, but felt overwhelmed. It turns out that - like most things - the initial thought of it is the most overwhelming part!

I highly recommend the book, "So You're Thinking about Homeschooling: Fifteen Families Show How You Can Do It" by Lisa Whelchel (yes, one of the actresses from "Facts of Life" http://www.lisawhelchel.com/). It's a light, fun-to-read book (like having a conversation with someone over coffee) that goes through 15 different scenarios of homeschooling. There are just so many ways to do it! This book helps extinguish the 'overwhelming' feeling. You read it, and can relate with one of the families, to get an idea of how homeschooling may work best for you.

It also helps to get support from one of the many co-ops available. Here in NW Houston, I am a part of WHHE, which has at least a couple hundred families in their membership. Check it out at http://www.whhe.org/support.htm - we'd love to help your friend.

I pray that your friend finds the help she needs!

Blessings,
R.

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