Seeking Advice from Moms Who Self Weaned Their Child

Both my kids self-weaned.
My eldest child, my daughter, self-weaned at about 2.5 years old.
BUT... until then, I did get pregnant.
MANY women still get pregnant even if breastfeeding.
It very common.

All the best,
Susan

My girlfriend got pregnant 6 months after giving birth to her first while breast feeding and before she ever got her period back, so anything is possible. Her head is spinning now with a one year old and a 6 month old! She pumped and froze her milk so it would last longer for her first child and it all worked out well.

I got pregnant with #2 & 3 while nursing the previous child. My first started weaning while I was pregnant with #2 because he didn't like the change in milk you get in your second trimester and then also didn't like his brother kicking him and taking up so much of my lap. He cut back to like once a week by the time #2 was born. He nursed a few times after his brother was born but was completely weaned by his 3rd birthday which was 2 months after his brother was born. I was nursing my second up until 2 months before he turned 5. He was only nursing once a day I think at that point. He stopped while we were living in a hotel after our house flooded and I had horrible morning sickness that we found out was baby #3 while living there as well. Weaning was easier I am sure because mine were older. I had no troubles getting pregnant though.

Dear R.:

My child's pediatrician was very supportive of breastfeeding and when I became pregnant, he told me it would be safe to nurse my daughter until she self-weaned. I listened to him because his wife, a lactation consultant, successfully nursed straight through four pregnancies. I'm glad I listened to him. I nursed my daughter during my son's entire gestation and he was born full-term and healthy.

While that was considered unusual where I was living, now that I'm part of a more breastfeeding-friendly community, I've met dozens of moms who've done the same with no problems.

Oh, and my daughter was nursing exclusively (no supplements) and I became pregnant when she was 11 months old and I had not had a period yet. My daughter weaned at 3 years and my son at 2 1/2 years. I didn't have a period for almost 2 1/2 years...it was great!

With the incredible relationship I have now with my children, I would encourage you to allow your daughter to self-wean and relish this time you have together. Of course, continue to nourish yourself well and increase your nutrients as much as you can. It'll be good for all three of you.

Best wishes,

M.

Great information here about self-weaning:

http://kellymom.com/bf/weaning/how_weaning_happens.html

My daughter is 23 months and shows no signs of wanting to wean. I am committed to getting her through one more winter at least, especially with scary flu season coming up. I am 39 and also thinking about a 2nd child. Although I know I could probably nurse her while pregnant, I wouldn't want to compromise on her health, my health or the health of the new baby. So I'm waiting until next year to play it safe.

Well, we're not quite to the self weaning part but once my daugter turned a year I stopped offering it and she had to ask for it. During the day she nursed about 4 times (wake up, before nap, after nap, before bed). I forget which I cut out next, it was either before nap or before bedtime, and that was around 18 months. That took a few weeks for her to get used to and maybe about once a month she would still nurse before naptime. By the time she was 22 months she was nursing just in the morning and after nap about 1/2 the time and I didn't get the after nap fully out until she turned 2. She is now 25 months and I've found that nursing while pg really hurts on one side (it's the side she prefers) so I've been trying to cut that last session, too. Distraction has been the biggest tactic - she didn't use to watch TV but since I feel so crappy during the first trimester it's been a bit of a staple. So if I can tell she's going to ask for it when she wakes up I try to play a game before I go into her room and then immediately talk about watching Mickey/Elmo/whoever and also breakfast. I get our dog to go in to her room first since he tends to make her happy and tell her he wants her to feed him his breakfast. Pretty much anything I can do to talk/distract her. In the last week she has had 4 days where she did not nurse at all. We're getting there, slowly but surely. Also, since it hurts now, I tell her Ow, that hurts when she latches on and she's pretty sensitive to that so if I tell her we're all done she normally will stop without a problem after just a few minutes. So I don't really have a good answer for you, but that's been my experience. Good luck to you!

Hi R.,
Nursing apparently can help prevent pregnancy, but not very well. It took me a year to get pregnant with my first child. I was still nursing when we started trying for our second and got pregnant the second month. I ended up weaning my older son in my third month of pregnancy because I was having a horrible vomitty pregnancy, was losing weight, and felt like I was stressing my body too much by trying to carry a baby and make milk at the same time. My older boy was 2 1/2 and it was pretty easy to switch him to a sippy cup of water at night, instead of nursng. Anyway, this is a long answer, but I don't know that you need to worry too much about the effect of nursing on your fertility. I've known many women who even tandem-nursed (continued nursing their older child after the younger one was born) with success.

By the time my son was over a year, he was nursing only at night or sometimes before a nap, basically to sleep. Then one night at 18 months he crawled up into my lap while I was reading a magazine and just went to sleep without even asking to nurse. I took that as my indicator that he was ready to move on. So from that night on I no longer offered it. He "asked" for it a couple times, but when I didn't nurse him he didn't get upset. I just told him he was a big boy and didn't need it anymore, and he was totally fine. Now my daughter on the other hand...she's 11 yrs and I think she'd still be nursing if I hadn't weaned her!! :) I finally had to say enough is enough with her at almost 2.5 yrs! So each child is different, but I think your mommy senses know when they're ready. And they take their cues from you, so if you confidently present the feeling that they don't need it anymore, but still give them all the cuddling they're used to, they'll be fine.

My husband and I started trying to get pregnant when I was breastfeeding my 10 mos old son. I figured that it took a long time to get pregnant the first time so if we start trying right away maybe in a few months... Well the next month I was pregnant! The only part that I regret is that a doctor told me that it could cause problems if I kept breastfeeding while I was pregnant. So I immediately started weaning my 11 mos old. A few months later (and a new doctor) I was told it was not a problem to breastfeed while pregnant. Anyway, in answer to your question, yes I did get pregnant while nursing (very quickly as a matter of fact!!) and as far as weaning, I would leave that up you and your little boy. I started cutting down the number of times each day I was feeding, by increasing the amount of food right before breastfeeding. I got to the point where I was only breastfeeding right before nap and bedtime. Even these got less and less once we really started focusing on table foods. The other thing that I have heard, but can't prove one way or the other is that breast milk changes in taste or something once you get pregnant. If that is true weaning may take place even if you don't want it to...

Hi, I have four children. Our oldest was 22 months when I got pregnant with our second. I nursed her on demand during the entire pregnancy without any issues. I got pregnant when our second was 23 months. I was still nursing both of our children so, I nursed two children while I was pregnant with #3. I then briefly nursed 3 children at the same time. The first two had stopped, self weaned, before I got pregnant with our fourth. This time when I got pregnant and I was still nursing #3, he was 2 1/2. He nursed while I was pregnant with #4. He quit about a year ago and I am down to nursing just one baby. She is now 22 months.
I am a lactation specialist, a midwife, as well as a nursing mom of 4. The Dr's WILL try to tell you you have to stop due to contractions, etc... It is TOTALLY not true! As long as you nurse the whole pretgnancy, consistently, you will have NO PROBLEMS! Good luck! I LOVED nursing two (or three :-) babies at once. They would play with each other's hands and they bonded soo much more deeply for having shared the experience! I'd do it again i a heart beat! Good luck. People will give you grief for your choice, not understanding why you would choose to do such a thing. Don't listen to them, follow your heart!

Hi, lots of encouragement here...I was an "older" mom--1st one (w/clomid) I had @ 36-almost 37--was nursing her & got my period back right about when she started walking (1 yr) & found out I was pregnant w/#2 when she was 16 months..I nursed #1 throughout the pregnancy & the only thing I noticed was my nipples were sore. I tandemed nursed #1 & #2 & then when #1 self-weaned at almost 3, I ended up pregnant with #3. I'd had 2 periods, I think & we were just getting around to thinking of BC--surprise, surprise! Tandemed nursed those 2 until #2 self-weaned around 3, too. Got pregnant with #4 about a 1.5 yrs after #2 quit, but it wasn't meant to be. #3 was still nursing, she nursed the longest..she was 4.5 when she stopped. She still will pat my boobies & say how wonderful & Yummy breast milk is. She's 8 now. She still remembers when the baby "left" me. I was pretty sick & she was the only one with me all day. She said my milk tasted different for a while, too. I was 44 then, so maybe my body had just had it. Older toddlers don't nurse as often or as long as infants, so it's not that hard to do. It was fun to nurse them at the same time, the older one would hold her sisters little hand, it was sweet. As each of my girls got older, I'd offer food, a hug, some times a distraction, just to see if they wanted to nurse out of habit or need.
Anyway, it's a wonderful memory & time in your family's life, enjoy it!! Good Luck.

You are able to get pregnant while nursing, as long as you are ovulating and having your cycle.

My daughter continued nursing in the morning, at night, and when she wanted "comfort" until she was 2 years 6 months. At that point, I was about 6 weeks pregnant and for a few days she would try to nurse but pull away and say "I don't like it." The Pediatrician said that the pregnancy hormones changed the taste of the milk, so much so she just didn't like it. After those few days she just stopped...no asking for it at all. Didn't even seem like she missed it. ABout two weeks later she was sick and wanted to nurse, so she tried, and after sucking on both sides a couple of times she looked up and said "they're broken mommy." And that was that. So, once you do get pregnant, your son may just self wean from the change. Good luck.

I got pregnant while still nursing my toddler. Been tandem nursing since the baby was born 6 months ago, though the older one is slowing down quite a lot.

So it's doable. :)

Hi, I got pregnant with my second while my first was nursing at 15 months. I weaned her abruptly at 20-21 months because I was getting Braxton Hicks contractions when I nursed - I'm still not sure if that was necessary or not. Anyway, if you are getting your period then you can get pregnant, if you haven't had a period then you might have to wean if you want to get pregnant. I got a period 8 months after my daughter was born, and 12 months after my son was born, and both were nursing at the time. Good Luck!

Both of mine self weaned. My first was 2 years old and I was 5mos pregnant. I had no milk and it was really hurting me so I'd tell her milk all gone, hurts Mommy - she didn't put up a fight and just stopped - maybe not so much self weaned but it wasn't traumatic. My second was 3. When he was about 18 or 19mos old, I wanted to night wean him, so I'd tell him no more nursing when Mr. Moon is out but you can nurse when Mr. Sun comes up. This took several weeks, just reminding him that this was going to happen soon - eventually HE was the one that said no more nursing when Mr. Moon is out. He then continued to nurse during the day until 3 but he didn't nurse often, in fact sometimes 4-6 days would pass. However if he got sick which happened a few times, he could nurse 24/7 if he wanted. Hope this helps!
M.

Hi R.,
I totally understand...i think if you go past a year, but are not willing to go until a kid self-weans (which in my son's case probably would have been when he was 5) then you have to do it yourself. I weaned my son completely by 25 months...we had gotten down to nights and mornings first by saying 'no boobie' during the day and he cried...it lasted 2 days from what i remember. Wear shirts that he can't get into. Give him extra love, and ask for help from your husband. For the night/morning weaning, it was actually easier. He cried a little, but he got the point. He is now 27 months and still asks for boobie. I let him hold them, but not 'eat them.' He's actually tried to nurse my husband recently. He misses them, as they were his security blanket, but now he does other snuggly things w/me. He likes to put his head under my shirt and say he's going back inside mommy's tummy. I have noticed that i still have some milk if i squeeze, but i just got pregnant - ie i'm only 5 weeks, but it worked on first month trying and i'll be 37 in a week.

so, long and short of it is, it will suck for 2 days - he will cry and be mad, but he will get over it quicker than you can possibly imagine. Just wear shirts w/high collars for awhile.

good luck!

Hi R.,

I can't speak to the self-weaning part, but I can tell you it is possible to get pregnant while nursing. I worked for a man whose wife was nursing their newborn and she was pregnant six weeks after having her first because they thought nursing was a good form of birth control.

I thought that was just a fluke, but the same thing happened to a man I work with and his wife.

Good luck...

I have 3 children. The first 2, I took Clomid, after having difficulty getting pregnant. After our second child, my husband had a vasectomy and I was nursing our daughter. When she was about 15 mos., I found out I was pregnant with our third. Yes, after vasectomy and while nursing.
I was worried about how I would be pregnant and nurse. The doctor told me that she would just stop because the milk will change and she won't want it. He was right!
Good luck!

My daughter self-weaned around 10 months. She just lost interest in nursing.

Hi R., I weaned my DD at 12 months. Prior to that it was strictly bf on demand and pureed food that I made for her. She was not a fan of the Earth's Best food, I'm sure it's great, but she preferred the homemade stuff w/my breastmilk, which was familiar to her.

Based on advice, book, research, Dr., etc, I took about one month and dedicated that to her weaning process. I started to cut out one feed, she was feeding four times a day (7am, 10am, 3pm, 6:30pm). So I cut out the "least important feed," meaning the one that both her and I were attached to and where I was least engorged. I dropped the 3pm feed, and then 10am feed, and then the night feed, and the morning feed was the last to go. Also, just to let you know, my DH has been giving her my breastmilk in a bottle at bedtime. By a little over one month, she weaned herself and really had no interest in my slow-flowing nipples, she prefered the stage 3 on her bottle and then eventually preferred the taste of cow's milk.

It's a tough battle, because most of it you internalize (at least for me) but it's a good milestone for both of you.

I bf my DD on demand for a little over one year. We're also trying for our next one and have heard similar comments regarding getting prego while nursing. DD will be 15 months next week and we're still trying.

Good luck, you'll be fine!

Great job allowing for self-weaning, you'll see the benefits in so many areas. Yes, you can get pg while nursing, I have a friend that got pg when her baby was only 6m and nursing ALOT. By 20m he's probably not nursing too often, so yes, you can get pg.