Seeking Advice for 8 Year Old W/ MAJOR Attitude Problem!

Have you tried caffeine or St. Johns Wart or any other natural supplements? Do a little research online first to see what might work for your son. Also, I know most parents don't want to medicate their child, but as a teacher, I have seen medication majorally help many kids. Not only does it help their grades, but their confidence, self esteem, peer relationships and overall happiness. Try all non-medication routes first, but do keep an open mind to medication if needed later.

B.,

I think you are over looking a very simple problem. Your son is angry because you are with another man. He is reacting as if he is your husband, and probably feel if he acts out enough you will leave your present husband and return to his dad. Misbehaving is just tool, if used often enough he feels
your present husband will leave you. If all else fails he would rather it just be you and he, then he could play the man-in-charge roll. My advise to you is set some rules and stick with them...., have a heart to heart talk with your son and let him know you still love him the same and always will be there for him. Do things together often the four of you and let the boys chose taking turns. He's gone through alot and needs time to catch up to all the changes that have taken place.,possibly this to is why he acts more grown-up; roll playing to make you think he can handle all that's taken place. I hope this help...Church is a good place to start as well.

meta.

B.,
If you don't want to do medication then it is recommended to make dietary changes. Like no sugar, caffiene, and so on. Do some research. And the diet will have to be really followed closely. My aunt did it with her son. We did the meds with our son. Major difference with both kids.
W.

As a parent who has gone through just about all of what you mention I'd really like to get a chance to talk to you. I dealt with all of this alone for a long time and finally nearly broke myself down. You need a support system and I'd love to talk to you about some of the options I've found. Feel free to e-mail me if you're interested.

I also want to recommend the Total Transformation program. I think it was put together by Dr. James Lederman or something like that but if you search it on Google you'll find the website. It's expensive but a great tool to organize your family to offer consistency when it comes to rules, rewards and consequences. There is an additional module as well called Total Focus if your son has the lack of attention typical of ADHD children. It teaches through behavior modification exercises that they listen to on CD to actually think differently.

Hi B.,
I agree with Wendi, try removing things like dairy, wheat, refined sugars and peanuts from his diet for a while to see if there is a difference. My mother has recently changed her diet COMPLETELY, eliminating those things, and has changed physically and mentally. Another thing that may have an impact is his sleep. Is he going to bed early and getting enough sleep? I L. the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. There is research used in his book that shows some ADD may be due to poor sleep and what it does to your chemical balances. With an older sibling in the house he may also be watching movies and playing games that are too mature for him. He needs to respect you and that will be pretty hard if his dad is a jerk. Have you gone to counselling with your son AND his father? I don't know what else to tell you.
Sincerely,
L.

Hi B. I have a 9yr old daughter that I had had alot of the same problems. Her dad was in and out of her life and he was adhd and she started having problems with learning in school not causing trouble just not being at grade level. Now I know you only wanted non med advice but my daughter is on meds and I don't regret it one bit I felt bad and guilty at first but the change in her once the meds were correct is amazing. We still have troubles it's not a miracle but it is so much better. I only gave it to her for school and not at home because I felt she was mine to deal with and it was only for learning but there came a time when my daughter came to me and asked to be on meds at home because she got in less trouble and I have to say it is true and her doctor told me that this may happen because she will begin to notice it is easier to control her impluses. I love her doctor and we have discussed everything from diet to meds because I didn't want to put her on but he told me that there is no true findings that changing the diet works and in my situation it involved her schooling so I needed to act. The best thing I can say to you is watch your child you will see triggers (like anything heavy in red dye sends mine through the roof, even nacho doritos) or situations that trigger the problem. Also with add and adhd children consitancy and follow thru is the best if things on there life are always changing it is worse for them, so a consitant routine is one of the best things for them and my doctor could not stress that enough to me. I not saying what I have choosen is the best for everyone but it has worked for me and she is happier and making friends in school passed the 3rd grade with great scores. My 7yr old is also adhd but has not needed meds for school yet and so far is doing great, but I am always checking on it and making sure he is doing okay. Every child is different you just need to figure out what will work for you and your son but also what will let him have a happier and more productive life. Also remember that adsd and adhd children are some of the most brightest and brillant people and that gets hidden and over looked from there problems. But let me tell you my daughter is the best artist and my little craft bug and I only see great things for her in the future!