Seeking Advice About Explaining Child Birth to a 5 Yr. Old

Hi J.. You've gotten tons of great responses, but I have to add mine. We have a 4 month old and my son will be 4 next week. When I was about 8 months pregnant and not sleeping, I was lying in bed with the TV on watching what you shouldn't watch, "maternity ward" or something like that. Well, I had fallen asleep (it was late) but when I woke up, I found him standing next to the bed with his mouth open staring at the TV. By this time, we had already named the baby, so he asked "mama, are you going to poop Lilly out?" I didn't know what to say, but I finally just said "well, no, mommy's have another hole that is made for babies to come out of, but it is similar to that". And that was all it took. Now, I was laughing about this and telling the story at work and one of my students (a college sophmore) looked very confused...he asked point blank - "wait a minute, which hole does it come out of then?" and he was very serious.

So, after that, I decided that my kids will have a very serious talk as soon as they can understand so they aren't 19 and wondering which hole is which!

Good luck to you~

I gave a basic overview of what was going on. I told how the baby was growing inside Mommy's tummy and when it's time to come out, there's a special "baby door" that only Mommy's have. The baby comes out of this baby door from the tummy and then you can hold him/her. I kept it true, but general, and age appropriate.

First of all, see if there are any children's science museums in your area. Most of these show charts and/or sonograms. My two year old already knows babies come from inside mommy's tummy, and we had a talk about "belly straws" (our belly buttons) that help feed baby while he lives in mommy's tummy. Even at such a young age, he enjoyed seeing the different baby stages, and we showed him his own sonogram pictures to help explain. As per the other parents, as long as you don't go into the sex talk (I told him that a mommy and a daddy take small bits of themselves and mix it together so a baby is half mommy and half daddy rather than go into explainations about the differences between boys and girls)then any objections they have would be purely unfounded and ridiculous.

Hi. My daughter is also 5 and we are 21 weeks pregnant. She has so many questions on it all. When it came to the where do babies come from question I simply explained to her that when mommy and daddy love each other they decide to have babies. I then explained that one day when she is old enough I would explain more into it. Now the fun part, she asked to see what the baby looked like right now. That was fun. I actually had fun with this, she is very imagenative and I wanted to excite her mind. We found a picture (one of the pregnancy sites, I believe americanbaby.com) and I showed her what the baby would look like at 20 weeks. She then was pointing to all the stuff, umbilical cord, amniotic fluid, so an and so on. So then Igot a ballon and pretty much used house hold items to help her understand how the baby eats, what the baby lives in and then how the uterus contracts and how the baby is born. She loved it and now knows where her little brother is and how he will come out. Do not be affraid to let your child in on these facts of life. My daughter wants to be there for the birth and I told her we will see but this is a specail bond you now have with your 5 yr old and the new baby soon to come. I hope this helps. Good luck.

Hi, J.--

We've told my 4 1/2 year old son that Mommy and Daddy loved eachother so much that we wanted to have a baby. Then, pretty soon, a baby was growing in Mommy's tummy. When he asks how the baby gets out, we tell him that we go to the hospital and the doctor helps the baby out. So far, that's all he needs to hear. Sometimes, he'll ask, "Where was I before I was in your tummy?" We tell him that he was always in our hearts and dreams. I feel good about not lieing to him--I hope we'll just know when to add more information. I love the story about the 6-year-old who gets the whole schpeel and then wants a popscicle!!

I like the answers you have gotten already mainly. Just know that she will accept what ever you tell her and that you really do not have to tell her too much> I was six when my sister was born and the only thing I really recall mostly. Was not being able to see my mom. I had to spend the night without her and had never done that. It was hard to go to the hospital and not understand why she could not come home. So my advise is along that for your little girl. I really did not have many questions. Only missed my parents. So it might be a good idea to let her know now that she is going to be staying at so and so's for the night and maybe even let her stay there here and there now. Like once a week until you give birth. Like every friday or sat night. So she gets use to it and has fun there. Then it will not surprise her when she is going over there to stay the night and she will not wonder why or be worried/scared. Good job at being a great mom. Take care. Kids repeat everything you are so right. I really liked the one by Heather for an explanation.

You might want to ask her Kindergarten teacher for a recommendation because they have to deal with those kind of questions as well...

I don't really ever remember getting the "talk" from my parents about where babies came from, because they explained things as I asked ever since I can remember. My mom just explained things in a simple scientific manner, and even pulled out her anatomy books sometimes or drew simple pictures. I never felt uncomfortable or embarrassed, because her descriptions were more about what goes on inside the body, as opposed to what mom and dad's private parts have to do with it. She's young so I really like some of the suggested simple explanations already posted here, but if she asks for more details, don't be afraid to answer. I never felt traumatized by what my mom taught me. I just thought it all was fascinating and intriguing.

J.,
Whatever you choose to tell her, whether it's God put it there or Mommy and Daddy made it, etc...
Basically, remember to answer just what she asks. If she doesn't ask for details don't give her any. So the answer to the question "Where do babies come from?" is that they come from Mommy's tummy. When she asks how it "gets out" can get tricky, but you can just say that Mommy's body makes a special hole/door/whatever(you can even call it the birth canal) that the baby comes out. {OK I have to brag about the one nice thing of a c-section hehehe I "got & get" to tell my children that the dr makes a cut in Mommy's tummy and takes the baby out. ;o)}
Anyway, I think the main thing is to keep it simple. She doesn't know what she's asking and has NO clue that it's as complicated as it is.
Good luck and Congratulations on your soon to be new arrival,
S.

J.,

There are some great books for children in the public library or you can borrow them from a local childbirth educator. Some of these books include, "Where Did I Come From?" and a movie called Baby Lizzie or Lizzie's Birth (I can't remember the exact title) but they are designed for young children. Just use simple terms and let the child ask the questions. Often, they just want a quick response. As they age, they'll ask more detailed questions. The book, Where Did I Come From is very simple and direct. I wouldn't worry about what they say in front of other children at school or elsewhere. Children have been saying "the darndest things" about birth for centuries. I should know because I work in a school and I'm a childbirth educator.

A.

J.,
You have gotten some really good advice here. I especially like what Sharon had to say. I have a friend who calls it the "baby door." That seems to work for her kids.
When I read your post I knew I had to tell you one funny story my aunt tells. When her oldest son was 6 she was going to have her 3rd. Her son asked where babies come from and she said she took a deep breath and started explaining the whole thing. After a few minutes his eyes just glazed over and he asked "can I have a popsicle?" He never heard anything past "When mommies and daddies love each other..." It was pretty cute.

Good, cute funny and accurate picture book is Babbette Cole's "Mommy Laid an Egg."

Hi!

Your daughter sounds so cute. I have a 4 year old daughter and recently had our 2nd child. My daughter never really questioned where babies come from or how the baby got inside Mommy's tummy.

If I were faced with the questions I would just keep it very short & simple. Try not to stress about it or make it a big deal with her, because your daughter will probably sense it and think something of it.

You could say that the child is a gift from God or something really vague. I would not try to explain or attmept to explain how it really happens.

CONGRATULATIONS and I wish you & your family all the best with the arrival of your new little one.

T.

Hi. My daughter was 5 when I found out I was pregnant. We told her and things went along fine until I started to show.

She asked questions about the where and why. We told her that God wanted us to have another baby and so He put the baby in my tummy. There is a special "baby growin' place" in a Mom and that is where the baby stays until he/she is ready to be born. Then the doctor helps the baby be born. She liked that. When she wanted more detailed information, we told her there is a special place that is only for when a baby is born. She let it rest then.

There are books in the library for young children. You could read and discuss the book

My daughter was just over 3.5 when our second child was born. I told her that babies are made from mommy and daddies love and where and how they come out of mommy. I was honest and used terms that she could understand. We looked at some pictures in birthing books and magazines. When her sister got older and ask about it, she explained it to her, much the same way I explained it to her. Now I am preparing to explain how the the rest of if to her. :)

Tell her the truth! There is no wrong in telling your child the truth. The worst thing you could do is lie to her. Yes, be conservative on your approach and words. If she is curious enough to ask. By all means do tell. It's better for her to be asking you for the truth than to find out about it in another way. Do emphasize the conversation should only be with mom and dad. Good Luck

Hi There.

My daughter asked about the same age and it was a tough one to think of. I just told her that mommy and daddy make the babies and that they grow inside of mommy. That when a a man and woman love eachother very much that love can create a baby. That when the baby is ready the doctor will take the baby out of mommy's tummy.

I didnt go into detail at all and she seemed to accept it. She's six now and hasnt asked again.

I took my daughter to all of the dr. apointments. She got to hear the heart beat and see her little brother inside. It helped out alot. The Dr. Explained some to her too. It is hard to explain. My daughter asked where he came from and we told her that mommies and daddies love each other and when they love each other they can make babies. I explained that she will find out the details when shes older. The baby comes out a hole by her pee pee. She completely understood it and didnt go around talking about it either. She too started kindergarten this year too.

You can even go to a library and ask if they have something that will help explain it to a 5 year old.