Second Baby? - Newark,NY

I'm not in the same boat...but I will say when I was trying to conceive and was so focused on it...it literally took a year. When I gave up and thought I just was never going to get pregnant...BAM I got pregnant. With my second...my husband had a reverse vasectomy and we were told it would take 6months to year....well we got pregnant on the first try within a month. So you just never know...but I think chilling out and relaxing...having the "it'll happen when it happens" attitude helps. good luck!!! :)

That's exactly what happened to us. Baby #1 took 3 mos to conceive, do when we hit that mark with baby #2 (and I was 37 also) I started freaking out. But it only took us another 3 mos to conceive. Still disappointing every month when the period showed up, but don't give up yet! Oh, and we also tried to do sex every other day, until we just needed a break!

I feel your frustration! My son was conceived while ON the pill, and now we have been trying for 8 months to no avail! It really stressed me out for awhile (since my son is 4, and I thought we should have been pregnant over a year ago), but after a MAJOR melt down at the beginning of August, I realized that when it is supposed to happen, it will. My only suggestion is to keep track of what is going on with your body, and if you haven't gotten pregnant within the next 5 months or so, go to your doctor. Mine has decided that it is time to start the fertility work, but that is more because she said if I have to go to a specialist, it can take a few months to even get in. Good luck and know that you aren't the only one in the boat (although I cannot tell you how many times I feel that way...darn all those pregnant women out there! ;) ) PM me if you ever need to chat!

Gee, that sounds familiar! I'm 37 also and I have two kids now. My first wasnt even one yet when we started thinking about having a second...crazy, I know, but with my age I didnt want to wait very long and I did not want an only child. We were being careful for a few months, and at least twice I "thought" I had the same symptoms as when I was pregnant. I started buying pregnancy tests at the dollar store so I could test more often to ease my mind! I stopped thinking about it for a while to plan my daughters first birthday party. The day of the party when I had a moment to breathe, I realised my period was late. I snuck inside and took one of my dollar store test which was a screaming positive;))
Moral of the story...dont make yourself crazy!!! Relax, and it will happen. Stress will decrease your chances!! Eat right, get lots of sleep take your folic acid...it will come. GOOD LUCK!!

We had no problems conceiving the first time either. It was probably about 4 months from when I went off the pill. So, when it was time to plan #2, we waited until around 4 months out from when we wanted to conceive... but we didn't conceive after 4 months. It basically took about twice as long as the first one. And not for any "reason"... it just took that long. And the farther away from when you "wanted" to conceive it gets, the more anxious you can become... unless you just accept that it might take longer this time. At about 7 months without conceiving, I asked my doctor about it. I was offered a prescription for Clomid to try to plan my ovulation so that we would KNOW when to "try". (I had very irregular and long cycles). But since it also increases your chances for multiples, we opted to wait a little longer before doing anything medically. I got pregnant the next month.
37 is not that old to become pregnant. Talk to to your doctor if you are concerned, and let him/her lay to rest whatever your worries are. Just the anxiety can create problems where none exist. Think of all the families that adopt, only to get pregnant within a year of adoption! (and yes that happens. Happened to my SIL).

I seriously doubt you are in need of fertility services. You just need a little patience. Check in with your doc to be sure all is well (that you are ovulating), and relax. It will happen in due time.
:)

Since you know that you've done it before...... you should be relieved that you have proof that everything works.

1) ovulation predictor - it really does work.
2) relaxation techniques , don't laugh.... you really gotta relax, and since you said you are an anxious person... that's half your problem... maybe some short walks in the evening to wind down.... some music even?
3) maybe check out fertility options for those that can't afford it.... there's always some establishment that cuts a deal to the cash payer..... clinics probably have supplies for those that are really in a "can't afford it" situation.... ask your OB, for starters.

I live in CT... and here fertility coverage has some sort of state mandated minimum coverage. I don't believe NY has anything similar, but you should check with your healthcare plan ...
You might find out that the appointments and screening tests are covered ... and then you just have to deal with the cost of meds. ...
The chances that you need a lot of meds is really small ......
You will get pregnant... it's just a matter of increasing your chances, so you get there faster.

I understand the disappointment. Give yourself a little slack though. You got really lucky the first time. Give yourself 6 months. Don't worry, don't stress. Have fun with it and let things go as they will. Track your body to understand how it works, but do not obsess over it :)

If, after 6 months have gone by and you are not pregnant, then talk to the OB/GYN.

Good luck and happy baby making :)

Many women take more than 3 months to become pregnant even when they are not over 35. Keep in mind that you may not be having regular cycles your first couple of months off the pill. The most important thing to do is understand your cycle and be sure that you are having intercourse during the time that you are ovulating. You could be having plenty of sex but if you're not having it in a specific 48 hour or so timeframe, you're not going to get pregnant
Good luck

Hi S.,
At this point, just eat well and relax. You are still young, so your age shouldn't really be a factor in conceiving. Believe it or not, most people don't get pregnant the first try. I usually did when I was younger, but most people don't. We can't order pregnancies like we order fast food. God is the Creator and sustainer of life. We think we are, but we aren't. He really is active in the procreation process. But, for our parts, we must make sure we are healthy (if you are overweight, it can decrease your likelihood of getting pregnant), eating well, getting enough sleep. But, then just relax and don't stress about it. Unfortunately, women who wait too long to try to conceive find out that they let their most fertile years pass them by. They thought they could just have them when they wanted them, but not always. We take these things for granted sometimes, I think. I've been waiting for 4 years to be pregnant, but so far nothing. I'm in my 40s though (and I do have 6 other children). Pregnancy was always so easy in my 20s and 30s. Anyway, I hope something in this was helpful!

Dear S., I think you should give it some time. Although we seem to think we can control everything, having another child and the timing is up to God. Try to calm down and as I told a friend years ago, make a deposit in the baby bank every day. Your husband will be thrilled. Do your best to relax and all will fall into place. Grandma Mary (mom of 5)

Whoa! This is the first try? The first month off the pill? Take a deep breath and have fun with your husband. Dr.s say to call after 6 months of "trying." Have fun and think positive!

Hi S.,
I agree with most. Relax and have fun! I had my first at 42 (we did have help though). I would say try every other day or every third day. One thing to mention is not to just try when you think its your fertile time. I recently got pregnant on day 7 of my cycle at age 45. Had a miscarriage unfortunately but I had no clue it was possible to get pregnant at that time of month. That's why I wanted to mention it. Good luck!

Yes, You need to relax. You're not too old and you are going to get pregnant.
Everything will be fine. Take a deep breath and enjoy the "trying" time. If it happens too fast you miss out on that special time with your hubby. and the real excitement when you get to tell him the good news!

The average couple w/o fertility issues takes 6 mos to conceive! Give yourself some time, expect that it won't happen right away, since that is seems mostly to happen to teenagers in the back of the car. :)

After the age of 35, they say to see your OB about fertility issues after 6 mos of unsuccessful trying, so that's when I'd recommend taking that step. Until then, definitely relax and enjoy "trying"!

If you want to increase your likelihood of conceiving you can always use OPKs (ovulation predictor kits -- they're pricey in the drugstore, but available for cheap on ebay) and taking your basal body temperature. You can buy a basal body thermometer at the drugstore -- you take your temp at the same time every morning before getting out of bed. Charting your temps over the course of several months will help determine when you ovulate. Just don't obsess over the individual temps -- the only thing that matters if the pattern over the course of the month. Fertilityfriend.com is a good site to record temps and track ovulation.

Read "Taking Charge of your Fertility". You can get it from the library. Lots of helpful tips in there. You've only had one unsuccessful try. Count yourself lucky. Good luck to you!

I think fertility is a tricky thing. I got pregnant easily and naturally at 30. When we were ready to try again, suddenly I had issues. I ended up using Clomid and over the counter ovulation tests to get pregnant the second time. I had a miscarriage the second round but finally during the fifth try, we had our second child. There is a three year 4 month gap between kids. Thinking that I couldn't get pregnant again or that it would be very difficult, even though I wanted a third, I resolved myself that we would be a family with two kids. Then six years later, I found out that I was 16 and half weeks pregnant with our baby girl at age 40. She is a year old now.

I share this with you because I now believe there is always a chance to become pregnant (unless there is some real fertility issue). You can go to a drug store and ask them for an ovulation kit. It will tell you when you are most fertile and then you and your husband can go wild during that window of time

Right there with you...I'm 36. I stopped BCP in January though...but we've had a lot of stress and I can't say we've really been trying hard. Plus I'm all over the place cycle wise...but I'm starting to wonder if maybe we shouldn't have a second. Regardless of me - LOL...why don't you try and OTC ovulation predictor. Also, I've read where having sex every other day is good. I think at our age, stress is more of a factor then it was a few years ago - I have a 3 yr old too. Not only being anxious but being worried about age, so try to forget about it and relax! Good luck!

I can feel for you and know what you are going through at getting anxious. I think it is too soon for you to need to look into fertility treatment since it seems like you and your husband have just started trying a month or so ago? I know it's easier said than done but I agree with the other posters and try to relax, eat well and try to get lots of sleep.

I am trying to take that advice myself as I am 36 and I have a one year old son who just turned one and my husband and I have been trying about 3 weeks ago and I am not even going to try to take a pregnant test until I miss my period for at least several days. I got a home pregnancy test over the weekend and have been tempted to test and see since it's one of those pregnancy tests that will tell you if you are pregnant or not 6 days before your period.

I don't feel any symptoms yet but I am also trying not to read into too much of how I feel to think that I am pregnant. I guess I am just trying to not get too excited or my hopes up too high though I am not pessimistic either.

I wish you the best of luck and I am sure you will be pregnant soon as long as you don't get stressed out over it. I hope all the positive testimonials you read here will make you feel more confident.