SCREAMING At Night

Does she scream when the door is open?

A.,

I agree with Linda C. Give her back the pacifer ONLY AT NIGHT. Have a special cup or whatever that you keep it in. She can have it when she gets into bed and must deposit it in the cup when she wakes up. If she is talking and not sucking on it constantly it won't affect her speech or teeth.

My 3 year old all the sudden became afraid of the dark. She used to love to play in a dark room, now she screams as soon as she goes to bed. We have done a couple of things: night light, special blanket, take a toy to bed, leave door cracked a bit, giving her a flashlight..just have to find it before you go to bed and turn it off, other wise you go through a lot of batteries :) We have also put a CD player in her room and played soft music. She is better about being quite at night. The rule is, if she is loud, her door gets shut, and if she continues she starts to lose things like the night light or flashlight, or the toy. Her brother sleeps next door and she knows this, and we are also good about following through with taking things away. We usually start with the toy, then the flashlight, then the door being shut then the music, then the nightlight. Only once did we have to take it all away and after about 30 mins we gave them back and we haven't had a problem since :)

At 3, you can have a conversation with your daughter to find out why she's screaming. Ask her questions. Is she scared? Of what? Is she mad to be away from you? Why? Try to understand what she's feeling--this will validate her emotions. THEN, be SuperNanny (SuperMommy). Explain to her that nighttime is nighttime, time for all little girls and boys to go to sleep. There's nothing to be afraid of, and mommy will be going to bed soon, too. If you have to, for awhile, you can sit on the end of her bed until she calms down (don't look or talk to her), then explain to her that you will be leaving and you want her to be a big girl. If she goes to rest like a big girl, she'll get )_____________ the next day. The important thing is to validate her feelings, but then lay down the law. Good luck.

While I get that this is directly against all the helpful advice you've received regarding pacifiers to date, I'll say it anyhow. Feel free to ignore.

You've given her something to 'self-soothe' and clearly taken it away before she has outgrown the need. No matter what it says in the expert book on all human children throughout all of time --clearly she is not ready to thrive without it.

So, simple answer: give it back.

Get a nightlight, and leave the door open.