My 7 year old daughter broke her arm Monday night. It was bad enough that they called a ortho surgeon that night to come to the hospital and set the arm and put a splint on it (it is in a sling, and the splint looks just like a cast but has a line cut down each side to allow for swelling). Her teacher has been great about helping her (write, since it is her right hand and she uses it to write, and keeping her as comfortable as possible). Yesterday in PE class she had been participating the best she could then set out when it got to be a bit too much. After awhile, it started hurting, she asked the PE sub if she could go to the nurse but she told her "no." Her teacher did let her when she got to class though. It bothered me though that a sub refused even though she was hurting. Then, she has been told to have someone carry her bag for her since it is quite heavy and she is off-balance with things right now. Her teacher let another girl carry her backpack to the car-rider line since both girls are car riders. A different teacher asked the girl who's backpack it was and told her it's "H's." The other teacher told her "you're not weak, you can carry your own backpack." This made me extremely mad! This was not even her teacher! Her teacher had asked that girl to carry it and was fine with it! I don't want to cause problems for my daughter, but her doctor gave her specific instruction and does not want it bumped or re-injured, especially since right now she only has a splint until the swelling goes down. She broke clean through one bone and almost entirely the other bone. What would you do?
EDIT: I am not looking to sue!!! I just thought it was inappropriate for someone who is NOT her main teacher to make such a snarky comment. Her teacher lined the kids up and told them it was ok for the girl to carry the backpack. Also, I had asked the doctor if she would need a note and he told me that it should be common sense since she has the splint/cast, and that my word should be enough. I WILL make sure that at her appointment she gets one, as that should definitely help. I did let the nurse, her teacher, and the principal know when she came back Wednesday the situation (the broken arm) and all 3 were fine with my instructions.
Well, my daughter let her teacher know about it and her teacher said she would let the other teacher know. I am so glad she stood up and spoke up about it. Her regular teacher has been so wonderful! Hopefully there will not be anymore issues, but atleast now I know she will feel completely comfortable telling her teacher when there is. Thank you so much for all your responses! This week has been such an emotionally draining week, and I needed to have others opinions so I didn't go "Mama Bear" on anyone!
Im a sub in webb and could never imagine a teacher acting like this. I would go up and talk to the principal.
I would have the doctor write a note that excuses my kid from all physical activities for x amount of weeks and would have given that to the school.
That being said, I would bring my daughter into school today and speak to the teacher and the possibly the principal and assistant principal.
If she only has a splint, the subs and other teachers may have the mistaken idea that it's only a sprain or that it's simply not a serious injury. If they saw a cast or the splint in a sling it would probably alter their perception. Either way talk face to face with the school nurse and have a doctor's note detailing exactly what your daughter's restrictions are and what she's allowed to do. I would have copies so that if the subs don't allow her to go to the nurse when she's in pain to get pain relief or she needs a child to help her carry something and someone else says she should carry her own stuff she can whip out the doctor's note and show them AND show that the school nurse is aware of it and agrees.
She needs to have the doctor's note with her, and the teachers she has contact with throughout the day need to know about it. I would let the principal know that you will be getting a copy to her, your daughter's teachers, and that your daughter will have one as well because "there was an issue with some teachers not realizing that she needed assistance." It's a way to let the principal there was an issue without making an issue out of it, and a way to cover all the bases.
I'd contact the principal to get the word out ASAP. I'd document what you just stated in an email to the principal or by phone and ask if he/she could please put out a staff wide email to let others know. If she gets re-injured on school property, the school will be responsible and the principal should be smart enough to know this and be willing to oblige to your request:) GL and I feel so bad for your little 7yo:(
Leaving my mother's emotions out of this one, it might be possible that this other teacher didn't realize or recognize or know how to what extent your daughter's injuries were..HOWEVER, her comment was really quite snarky, and ignorant. ( again, leaving my emotions aside..deep breath..)
I would contact your daughter's teacher just to inform her about what this other teacher and the P.E. sub had stated to your daughter. Ask her to make sure that every teacher, sub, etc knows the condition that your daughter has, and that you would appreciate a little more understanding and sensitivity. As this whole situation has been draining on your family, especially your daughter.
As a mother, I definetly feel your pain, and would have had the same reaction. I would be more worried about what my husband would say to the teachers at that school then myself..
Sending you hugs Mom. Hope your daughter recovers well and healed.
If I were you I would head up to the school today and ask to see the nurse and the principal. Tell them both what is going on and let them know that you are really going to need more support from the school.
I so sorry she has to have this burden but your daughter needs to start speaking up for herself. This is an opportunity to show her how to be assertive and still respectful.
I think Patricia G has it right. Don't turn this into a big deal. Have a talk with the principal and just let her know your concerns.
My son broke his collarbone 3 time in high school, broke a wrist and something else (how sad that I can't remember) all of this from football. Heck his collarbone was broke twice in one year. The school was pretty good about accommodating him, but of course there was the occasional blip. It just kinda comes with the territory.
Sorry that your daughter had to go through that. I would also not make a big deal of it at this point. Please make sure that she practices speaking up for herself. At 7 years old, she should be comfortable telling ANY teacher, "No, my arm is broken, and I need to see the nurse/have someone carry my bag." Of course, having the doctor's note on her to show in case they need "evidence" would be helpful too. You may want to alert the principal in case your daughter needs "backup" stating her case...that way, if the teacher is STILL making it difficult, your daughter can just say "please call the principal. He/She will agree with me."
Hope she has a speedy recovery!
You do need to "confront" any one about this. It is a good idea to "inform" the teacher, the principal and the school nurse about your daughters injury along with the doctors instructions.
They can't read your mind. Your child is still young. At 7 I am sure it will be hard for her to speak up to a sub. To speak up to a teacher she does not know.
This is a god experience for your daughter, because you can guide her and let her know, she is allowed to speak up. That it is not rude, if she really needs help.
Just remember, no one wants your child to be in pain, but without knowledge, others are going to assume, this is just some sort of strain or stress injury..
I'd find out who that teacher was and go to her room and talk to her about it. Don't be rude, but be direct. I'd write the principal an email and discuss both incidents and ask for an email to the staff to go out detailing your daughter's accommodations, with you receiving a copy of that email.
The gym teacher should be able to have this discussion with the substitute.
You aren't going to cause problems for your daughter. You are going to be helping her. Keep advocating. If you don't, she may end up needing surgery, and you really don't want to go there if it's at all avoidable.
Good luck to both of you,
Dawn
Bring in a Dr's note for gym and any other teacher that may need to see it. Also just casually mention the problems you've had with other teachers with her main teacher, she may be able to help too.
Then I would tell your daughter to speak up for herself. If another teacher says something like that about her book bag again. Tell your daughter to say, actually my mom and Dr have asked that someone else carry it for me.
I second those saying ask that it be addressed with teachers when they have their general meeting. I'm assuming here that the splint was very obvious to the teacher in the pickup line who told your child to carry her own bag? Is there any chance that your daughter had a jacket over her shoulders that might have obscured the splint for a moment, or was turned so that the teacher couldn't see it? I am NOT looking to excuse the comment at all; I'm just noting that it is possible that in the hustle and flow of lots of kids coming out, the teacher might not have fully realized that your daughter was in a splint. As for the PE sub -- zero excuse there.
Also, do as others note and ensure that there is a doctor's note and it's strongly worded. I would go beyond having one "on file" in the main and nurse's offices -- I would get a copy to the PE staff with a cover letter from you saying that until further written notice from the doctor, your daughter needs to be allowed breaks, etc. -- say what you said here: she should not even be in a positioin where she might bump it.
A warning for later on: A friend's child injured her foot and when the cast came off, the girl was suppposed to take it easy in PE and anywhere else for several weeks, though she had no cast or bandage. But the family didn't provide a doctor's note to the school saying so in writing, and the girl was being told off by PE teachers for not participating fully enough. She also got in trouble in music class, where they were learning dances at that time, and was told she could not sit out any dancing. The mom was upset, the girl even more so, and the mom was told that she should have provided a doctor's note to the school when the cast came off, saying the girl should have lighter things to do in PE and in music. They did finally get a doctor's note and things improved. So bear in mind -- if your child needs to take it easy when the cast is finally off, do a doctor's note THEN as well!
Have your daughter practice saying very loudly, "I have a broken arm!"
How annoying that these teachers were so callous. I would imagine that they did not know the extent of your daughter's injuriy. Definitely call the principal today and let him/her know that your daughter has a serious injury. The other teachers need to be informed on your daughter's condition so they don't cause anything to re-injure your daughter's arm. Good luck!
You need to call the school and let them know the situation with the Sub & the other teacher. I would also explain that if this happens again that you will have no choice but to make a formal complaint to the school district.
Make sure your daughter has a copy of the note from the doctor to carry with her at all times until she is fully cleared from the dr. (this will help for the next time that anyone says something)
I agree a lot with what the others said. Have her carry a note, let the principal, school nurse, and teachers know. If a teacher gives her a problem, tell her ahead of time to tell them the situation. If they still give her a problem, have her ask them if they would like to discuss this with the school nurse or principal. If they send her to the office for "misbehavior," so be it because she can get the principal involved.
I think you did the right thing by talking to the office. The other teacher who made the comment has probably broken a bone before or seen a cast. We have all seen kids do everything from ride bikes and skate boards to play ball while in a cast. With that said, she probably made a comment without knowledge of the injury and extent of the break. She just needs to be (ahem) informed that every situation is different and the girls were doing things as instructed.
Is there a doctor's note on file with the school about the instructions and exceptions that should be made? If yes, then all your daughter needed to say was 'I have a dr's note'.
As for the sub that wouldn't let her go to the nurse, that was just mean. She was probably fighting for control of the class, and didn't want to get suckered into something.
My son was diagnosed with a concussion earlier this month. The school nurse had him carry a copy of the dr.'s note about his restrictions in the case of a substitute teacher.
I would contact the teacher and principal to reinforce the need to accomadate your daughter's medical need. Perhaps ask that all of the teachers that your daughter interacts with be advised of this situation so that everyone is on the same page regarding the accomadations that are needed. By the way, I'm amazed that they had your daugher participate in PE at all, especially in a splint.
Please don't turn this into a huge ordeal and good grief it is no reason to sue. Gees... some people are so freaking sue happy it is obscene.
I agree, that it was perfectly ok for another student to help your daughter. I see that a lot in our school where I have SUBBED over 10 yrs. Also, without seeing a cast on the arm, it is hard to know the amount of damage or pain a child is having. Were the PE coaches aware of the extent of her injury?
Your daughter needs to learn to speak up and stand her ground when confronted by someone who is not her teacher and does not know the full story. You will not always be there and she needs to know that it is ok to question an adult in this situation and ask for the principal or nurse.
That said, at our elementary school, if any child has a broken anything, the ortho Dr. or Dr who set the bone sends a note to school with instructions. These notes go into the nurse's file and and ALL teachers associated with that child get the note so that everyone is onboard.
Communication is key with the school staff. Yes, there was a lapse of communication here.. go from here with clear communication with the school and I am sure they will make sure your daughter is not coddled but also receives any aid she needs.
Side note and slightly off topic......I know you did not mention suing but as far as suing goes..... why would you sue? What would you gain other than becoming known within the district as the sue happy family. Prime example.. my ex neighbor was not allowed in my house or any other neighbor homes... we live in a very upscale area. Why? because one night when she had a little too much to drink, she spilled the beans about how much money they made suing people for "accidental" falls, etc. They eventually moved because no one would have anything to do with them.
I wish the best for your daughter.
Breathe. Don't get upset and call the principal, etc...yet.
Have your daughter carry around a doctor's note and if another teacher says something, show that teacher the doctor's note. If there is an issue again, then your daughter can go to the principal's office.
I would contact the teacher and let her know what happened. And tell your daughter to speak up which I know at that age can be hard. And if that does not fix the problem talk to the principle and maybe they need to tell any other teachers that might be around her what's going on and not to give her a hard time. My suggestion for PE is not have her participate at all until she at least has a cast and probably longer than that! Good luck and God Bless!
speaking as a person who broke their arm in several different places at about the same age as your child, i can tell you that you need to confront the teacher who demanded that your injured child not be given a chance to let their arm heal properly, give ME the offending teachers name and address and i will be happy to send her pictures of my now deformed left arm, broken bones are not to be taken lightly, they must be given a chance to heal properly WITHOUT risking reinjury, here is my email address,, ____@____.com let this teacher get away with this, talk to the principal, if he refuses to fire her, go to the superintendent, and tell them you will SUE them for discrimination if they refuse to fire her, she no right to demand an injured child carry their own backpack when the other child was perfectly willing to help her.
K. h.
I would make sure the teacher and nurse are aware of the problems that came up. Unfortunately, common sense is not always used. The teacher and/or nurse, or if necessary involve the principal, can make sure any other teachers and aides your daughter interacts with are aware of restricitons and her abilities while she heals.
I think you should call the principal and let them know what's happened. It should be put out in a staff meeting at the school to any teacher that deals with your daughter that she has restrictions placed upon her by her surgeon. Bumping that break could permanently injure her and that cannot be allowed to happen.
I would absolutely not wait. Get on the phone and call with your concerns. NOBODY should be telling your daughter who JUST got her bones reset that she can't go to the nurse, or that she has to carry that bag.
The principal needs to know that other staff members are putting your child in danger (and yes, from a medical standpoint, anything that would reinjure that arm IS dangerous).
Good luck!
I would take copies of a doctor's note to the school. I would make sure the relevant teachers and the nurse have a copy. The sub and other teacher may not have known the extent of her injury. I would also park and go into the school to help my child if having someone carry her backpack to the car was a problem with other students/teachers. At the end of the day, that can be my job.
I would throw a scene
If your daughter can't carry her backpack, why is she participating in gym? I'm not trying to be rude, but that doesn't make sense to me. Keep her out of gym and everything.
I would make sure she had a note from her doctor saying what she can and can't do and make sure all the teachers know this.
