School or No School - Louisville,KY

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I wish my ped. had told us that. My child had some negative experiences. I would go back and protect her instead of buying into the socialization myth if I could.

I would say pre-school is primarily for socialization. Learning to share, follow directions, react properly to social situations etc.
If they learn how to spell their name along the way and count to 10... bonus!

Recent research is showing that kids that stay home in rich environments are actually more socially adept than their schooling peers. You may wonder why this is? Well, think about it for a moment. How many kids per teacher? Who is doing the most teaching? Other little ones. As we all know, 2, 3 and 4 year olds have little problem with hitting, shoving and being mean, unless they have been really taught to just use their words.

There is a big difference between socializing and socialization. Socialization is learning the norms, habits, the ideologies of your world. Socializing is being social with other human beings. You don't need schools to socialize, you just need other people.

I have found that my daughter's friends that go to school are much rougher than her HS (homeschooling) peers. Her schooled friends have taught my daughter to kick and exclude boys. I even something wonder if I should keep my children away from their schooled friends (and I am not joking!). HS kids don't seem as exclusionary, they tend to be more open, and willing to play with all ages, etc. without regard to anything other than having fun. They are much better at being social, and you will see large groups of all aged children playing happily together.

phhhhht
I sent mine to daycare when they were little so I could have some time to myself.
No, kids do not need to be "socialized" at 3 or 4. Many societies don't even start school until 6. But really what does it hurt? PreK is fun, they learn about dinosaurs and bugs and they color. I sent them to "school" because I was selfish and needed time away from the toddler set.
Incidently, I now homeschool 2 of mine, they are in 5th and 8th and they are highly socialized. Actually they are more social than my senior in highschool and my 22 yo, neither of whom were homeschooled.

I actually agree with the Pedi. My daughter didn't go to pre-school until 4 and she is mature for her age. I only put her in it for something to do and more or less to learn what it would be like to be away from me when she started Kinder. I don't feel preschool helped her to become more social, she was smart enough to just pick up on social cues herself. As far as the curriculum in preschool, I had already taught her everything as she picks up on things quick. To be honest, had I never sent her, she would have fit into Kinder with absolutely no issue. But to each their own:)

My daughter was on the cusp for kindergarten so we decided to wait a year. She'll be five going on six instead of four going on five when entering school for the first time. She's never been to pre-school since we really couldn't afford it. She is happy and I just love the beans out of her.

As for the socialization aspect like learning to share, waiting in line, taking turns, following directions etc. We get plenty of that just living our lives. I'm sure she'd probably have a lot of fun with kids her own age, but this time is sweet, there isn't much of it left and she'll be in the thick of it soon enough. She doesn't complain that she's bored so I'm content to wait.

I don't think that there is a correct answer to this question. It is totally up to you, the parent. Having worked in a daycare and preschool I can see the benefits of having the kids go. They learn to socialize with other adults and children, learn to be away from mom, learn how to do things on their own, learn how to follow routine away from home, etc. Yes, they are exposed to a variety of germs, but that does build up the immune system so that when they are required to go to school all the germs there are not a shock to your child's system. A friend of mine has always kept her children at home, away from others when anyone is sick and her house is super spotless. This year her oldest began school (required) and he has caught every virus possible. I have two children of my own and knew that I would definitely send them to preschool. Preschool gave them a place to go and have fun that was "their own" it gave mom a small window to get errands done alone :) So my opinion is send them.

Do kids need to socialize with other kids at 2 or 4.. NO.. but do they enjoy it.. YES... preschool at 3 or 4 is fun.. story time.. snack time free play.. maybe a craft.. all in 3 hours.. yes they learn some rules about standing in line, waiting a turn..but it is no big deal.. if they dont learn that till kindergarten.

My kids went to day care 2 days a week so I could go to work.. so they got the learning aspect and more free playtime.

If you do not send her.. make sure you work with her....letters numbers colors shapes.. go to library story time.. take her lots of places..

GERMS<<<<GERMS ... the first year that kids go to school.. whether it is preschool or kinder or daycare.. they will get sick.. a lot..so you might want to give her a year in preschool... so she can start to build up immunity to all the germs out there..

My good friend didn't send her daughter to school until first grade. Kids aren't even legally required to attend school until then, so she didn't send her. Her daughter is way more advanced than the other kiddos in her class. Of course, this is just ONE example, so you can't really base any conclusions on that, but it at least confirms that not sending her to school didn't cause any damage intellectually. Socially, she's great. She's on my daughter's soccer team and plays very well with the other girls.

I totally think it depends on the child.
Our daughter loved her little friends. She loved her teachers. He had lts more activities there than I probably would have done and the school was very active by including families with participation also.

Our daughter totally walked into school the first day excited nd was confused by the upset children. She was telling them school is fun!

So I know it was perfect fr our child.

I am a former preschool teacher and kindergarten teacher and a current in-home child care provider. We do lots of activities at home to help the little ones prepare for school.

I still chose to send my son to part-time preschool prior to K. He was very ready for school academically (ahead, actually) but had been with me and a maximum of 5 other kids for as long as he could remember. He is slow to warm up to others and slow to feel comfortable in a new situation. I wanted him to go for social reasons- to learn how to be one of 20 or 25 rather than one of five, to learn to listen to an adult other than his parent, to learn to interact with different people in a different environment, to learn to love school! Preschool was amazing for him. I am so glad we did it. We will probably do the same with little brother, although he has a different personality. He is very attached to mama though...

I do think the decision should be based on the individual child. It is not necessary for all, but can't hurt (IMO).

As for the illness factor...yes, kids will get sick the first year they are i a group setting - whether that's daycare at 1 or preschool at 3 or kindergarten at 5. I personally would rather get it over before elementary school though. The only exception, in my opinion, is that infants should stay home or in a very small environment until age 1, if possible. It is one thing for a 15mo to get sick from friends, and another for a 3mo.

Good luck in your decision. Rest assured that whatever you choose will be the right thing for your LO.

My sister didn't send her kids to preschool and they do just fine. I was a little worried about my youngest niece since she's so shy, but she's blossomed in Kinder.
Whatever they don't get sick from by staying at home will catch up with them when they go to school. She'll likely have cold after cold. Preschool is great if you want her to go, but she'll be fine either way. Just make sure that she's getting lots of learning through play at home.

Personal choice, I suppose.

My son went to Nursery School 2 mornings per week for about 2 hours per session--so if you can call that "school" and "socialization"....then he went at 3. at 4, he went 3 days per week for about 2.5-3 hours per session.

I think they all kind of tend to level out academically in Kindergarten.

I didn't send my oldest. She's 8 now in 3rd grade, and TOTALLY fine and excelling academically and socially. Funny thing about her was, her kindergarten teacher assumed she went to pre-k because she did so well with everything.

My second daughter went to preschool right before she turned 5 because she just BARELY missed the date for kindergarten, and it was SO obvious she craved learning beyond the home (Pre-school ended up not filling her desire to learn, however). She's 7 and in 1st grade and is far beyond most of her classmates- 4th grade reading level, gifted program, etc... But with HER, the main thing is I STILL believe she should be a grade ahead. That is why we sent her.

For a average kid? Yes, most seem to go to preschool. I have visited preschool, and it is a BUNCH of stuff that can be done at home. Arts, crafts, beginning writing letters and numbers, beginning math and reading... but they get to do it with other kids which helps with socialization, but I'm not so sure that it is SUCH a great need for average kids to be SO "ready" for kindergarten and "socialized". There are more than plenty of kindergarteners that remind me of my 3 year old. Not trying to insult, but I'm saying, well, THEY are there, so why be so concerned that my kid needs preschool when in fact it won't change a kid's personality or abilities more than at-home stuff, per-se.

If a parent doesn't have the time to do all those things with their little one before kindergarten, then I could see preschool being helpful. Or, as one mom confesses, it was to give her a break. I totally understand! LOL!

I think the rise in preschool attendance has a LOT to do with working moms. I know plenty of stay at home moms that also send their kids, but I think a lot of it is a form of peer pressure where the SAHM sees the working mom send her kids there, and you want your kids to not be left behind. The working mom doesn't have all the time to spend with their kids to cover the "basics" before K, so they send their child. I think it is also a buzz that goes around; "kids need to have early socialization", "kindergarten is tougher- they need to go to a pre-learning place" (if that is even a term, lol)

I might even get in trouble with this perspective, but I'm just being honest.

Bottom line is, an average child that has a stay at home parent, IMO does NOT "need" preschool/daycare. In fact, I think it is debate-able that any child needs it, but I don't think it does any harm and it can be REALLY fun for kids! My daughter liked having fun there. She always came home and talked about how she didn't learn anything, but she had fun ...and I think she learned at least a LITTLE:)

I think it entirely depends on what the parent wants. If you want some time to yourself and want your little one to work through all the "Mine, Mine, Mine" that often happens in Kindergarten plus all the separation anxiety then I say you make the choices you want.

If you think it is beneficial then let them go. If not then start them when they turn 5.

I disagree with our pedi, I don't have a degree, just going on personal experience. Children are different, even in the same family. My older two were in daycare which also was preschool, La Petite. My middle son, enjoyed playing there and interacting with the other kids. He has a 4.0 GPA as a freshman in high school. He's my most social kid, always have been. My daughter is a junior in high school with 3.78 GPA, not as sociable as her middle brother, but isn't afraid to raise her hand and answer questions, participate in activities. I was terrified all through school and I didn't go to pre-school or was in daycare, my mom was a stay-at home mom during the day, and dad took care of us at night when mom did work, she was a waitress in my early years. Now, my youngest, is 5 and started pre-school at 4 last year. He's still in pre-school as his birthday is in September so he cannot start kindergarten until next year. I've seen so much improvement socially with him. He use to growl at people, throw himself on the grown and pretend he was sleeping when they talked to him. Did not like to have people talk and he wouldn't talk to them. Now, he's still shy, but he doesn't growl at people anymore. My youngest sister, never went to preschool and went to work with my dad on the farm. She almost failed kindergarten because she just didn't want to be there but play with daddy all day. She had to go to summer school. She's a very sociable person, always has been. She did struggle to get good grades, but I think it's just her learning style.

My son went to part time preschool (Half days, three days a week) the year before he started kindergarten (so he started at 4 and turned 5 during the year). We even debated that much. In the end, we decided it would be good to have some time away from mom, so all day kindergarten wouldn't be such a shock to his system. I think it benefited him socially and emotionally at that age. But academically, we were doing the same stuff at home. He just learned how to do things in a school environment (waiting turns, listening, following directions, etc.). My daughter is three and we plan on following the same path with her.

Just to comment on the healthier part, my youngest DD never was in daycare. She went to a very part time preschool, 2 days/week for about 2.5 hours, at both ages 3 and 4. She was a fairly healthy toddler/preschool kid, sick just once or twice. Once she started K full time, her immune system took a huge hit. She missed A LOT of K days. Every time something went around, she caught it. And it lingered. She's in 4th grade now. Subsequent years past K have been much healthier, it seems like her immunity has now been strengthened, she rarely gets sick.

My older DD we did the same with. No daycare, very part time preschool, then full time K, and had she was fairly healthy throughout.

I think whether or not you should send your child to pre-K is a matter of opinion, and some would certainly not agree with your Ped. If you don't do preschool, be aware that K now is a lot more like first grade or more real school learning than play. So I would definitely be teaching the basic ABCs at home

Your pedi sounds like he/she has a specific agenda. There are a number of studies and all sorts of data out there. Several studies show that a high quality preschool program can definitely be very beneficial, even long-term. But not all programs are high quality. I'm sure there are studies/data that show that some preschool kiddos have more issues. And the studies really are more geared to social skills than academic.

As you note, it depends on the program, your kiddo, and you as to which would be more beneficial.

(And it's taking everything in my power not to call your pedi an idiot. At the very least, your pedi is pandering to what he/she thinks you want to hear. )

I read a study a while back that said the kids who go to daycare starting young get more illnesses at that age and then less when they start school. And the kids who stay home till Kindergarten then get more illnesses than the other kids once they start school. The study said that by 4th grade (or whatever, I cannot remember the details) most kids have had pretty much the same number of illnesses. Our older son went to a little preschool starting at age 3. He went M W and F mornings 9-noon. He never really brought home many sicknesses. Maybe he was lucky, but he always was a pretty healthy guy. He had a LOT of fun and loved his preschool. It was a co-op preschool so I had to volunteer 2ce a month as a teacher helper. That was fun for me too bc I got to know the other parents/kids. Then when our son started Kindergarten he already knew quite a few kids at his school and that made him happy. Our daughter is 2 now and I'm contemplating putting her in a preschool some mornings next year. We live in a different place now, so I can only hope for the same great experience. I think if your child is doing just fine socially and you don't need that time to go to work then you don't really need to worry about it.

My SIL did not send her son to any kind of school until kindergarten when he was 5. She was a SAHM and didn't see how preschool was necessary in any way if she was home with him and felt she could teach him ABC's, etc. Problem was, she just let him watch TV and play video games all the time and didn't socialize him very much. When he actually started K, it was a nightmare. Granted, he was a boy and one of the youngest kids there and more on the timid and immature side, but I can't help but feel that some kind of preschool at 3 and/or 4 would have made such a huge difference. It was such a major adjustment for him - being away from mom, in a group of other kids, having to follow directions from a teacher - it was such a shock for him, and the first few months were fairly traumatic. He ended up having to go from 1/2 day to full day K to try to catch up to where the other kids were and then he still ended up having to repeat K for another year. He did better the second time around. Granted, his parents could have had a better set-up at home for him and his mom could have made more effort teaching him, but maybe going to preschool would have made up for where she was dropping the ball.

My daughter is in 4 year old preschool now (4 mornings a week), did 3 year old preschool last year (2 mornings a week), and has loved every minute of it. I think she would be bored at home and I would be going out of my mind constantly trying to find things for her to do. She's one of the brightest, friendliest, most sociable kids you will ever meet.

I think so much of it depends on the kid, their personality and temperment, and on the parents themselves. I don't think it's right to just make this generalized blanket statement and expect it to apply to everyone. As for kids staying healthier, it's probably because they don't get exposed to as many germs staying home - but eventually when they do start school, at 5 or 6, it's WHAM!

Remember too, if they are doing preschool (as opposed to full-time day care), it's on the average anywhere from 4 to 12 hours a week - that's still a lot of time home with you!

My DD did not go to preschool last fall because I do things out and about with her and she would have JUST turned 3. We have little friends that we catch up with regularly. Had she still been in her old daycare center, she would have moved up to "pre-preschool" because that was their system.

DD will start preschool for half days in the fall. This year she will be 4 and I want her to have a taste of school before she starts K. I also think that it will benefit her to follow directions and be in a classroom. She plays "school" all.the.time, so I think she'll be ready. I am not worried about her academics and chose a play based school.

FWIW, I did preschool and my sister did not and we both graduated college and did fine.

The other thing is that in preschool, they may catch and be able to correct (send to therapy) things like speech problems that you might not notice at home.

that is so silly by kids going to school younger they build up immunities. that is very important for them to build up before kindergarten so they dont spend the best school year sick all the time!.

My GD never went to daycare or preschool and she is at the top of her class. Personally, when it comes to the basics like reading, the more help the child gets at home, the better the child will do.

If you have a child who has never attended daycare/preschool (like my GD) but who then gets a lot of help at home in kindergarten, then that child will do just fine and will keep up with or even do better than a child who went to daycare/preschool but doesn't get as much help at home.

I do know that school is not even required until age six, first grade. Kindergarten is "optional" but given how much they actually learn in kindergarten these days, I wouldn't think skipping it would be in the child's best interests unless the parent is "homeschooling" kindergarten curriculum.