My son is in 3rd grade. He came home today looking very sad. I asked him what was wrong. He said, "I don't have any friends". It just broke my heart. I know for the past several years he hasn't had many friends at school. He is a great kid, A honor roll, but very shy at school. I've been a stay at home mom since he was born. We were very active in going to storytime and weekly playgroups. He has played baseball for the past 4 yrs and gets along with the kids. I'll ask him who he sat by at lunch. Sometimes the response is I sat by myself (said he likes to be alone). Or he'll say friends but isn't specific which leads me to think he sat by himself. At recess he asks to play with other kids and they say, "no". He comes up with a few classmates to invite to his birthday party but in the past 3 years of being at school has only been invited to 3 parties. I guess I am looking for any thoughts or ideas on how other kids would be his friend.
As a teacher, I would suggest having your child pass his contact info to a few buddies and/or invite them over, 'just because,' more often. Give the other boys a chance to get to know him and hopefully that will give him someone to buddy with at school.
I think inviting the other boys over is an excellent idea. That will give them some one on one time.
Does he participate in Boy Scouts or any Church youth programs? Those might give him other options for meeting friends outside of the school setting -- in a more relaxed enviroment.
Best of Luck and God Bless!
I've been working with scouts for a while now, and I would suggest he join a troop. The program tends to attract more kids like yours. A little shy, good students. It would really help with his confidence as well, which he could be having trouble with. Try not to worry too much about it, though. Chances are he'll blossom, especially with such a wonderful, caring mother!
To add to what the other moms suggested - you might want to consider some sort of activity play date (mini golf, etc.). That way, if he is not yet sure how to get the play date going, they will have a shared experience, hopefully some laughs (Strikz could be fun, Peter Piper Pizza, etc.) - and bond over those fun shared experiences. I would also suggest inviting one friend at a time, so that there is no opportunity for him to be left out.
These play dates will take a little extra work on your part in the beginning -- but he will hopefully be able to take more responsibility with each play date.
Good luck -- your son is fortunate to have a mommy who is so concerned and willing to help him.
S.
