School Bullying

I agree with the other moms who talked about getting him into some kind of counseling to improve his social skills. That can be tough going from home-school into public school without having had much time to "practice" socializing with other kids. I would also suggest something along the lines of karate to improve his self-confidence, and he could learn to defend himself if necessary.

Absolutely. Poor kid. Every kid has a reason that others will pick on them - the best your aunt can do is to be proactive and stay on top of the issues.

Our school is big into anti-bullying right now. When I have an issue with the school, if it isn't being handled, I toss the word "bullying" in there and it's resolved immediately.

If the school itself does not respond, go higher. Superintendent, police, whatever. That might seem extreme...but there are so many negative stories from kids who have been bullied and it needs to stop.

Good luck!

ETA: Just saw Cheryl's post and I agree...don't say you're going to go to the superintendent or police if you won't. But I guarantee if you do, then the issues will be handled immediately.

The school isn't doing anything? Really? I know our school is on things like this like white on rice. If something has been reported, they are REQUIRED to act on it.

Take the mom to the school personally and sit down with the principal, teacher and counselors. Get it out there. Get it documented. If they touch him - call the police and make a report. If you don't want to go that far - then call the school board and tell them that the school is not doing anything. if they don't do anything then call the media and have them do a LIVE AT FIVE headline story - that will get people moving. Schools do NOT want bad press or bad media attention.

Do NOT threaten to do anything you will not do. IF you will not call the police or the media - it's all empty threats.

He also may need social integration skills. Some kids who have not been "socialized" due to circumstances - disabled parent, no car, etc. - have a harder time getting social cues and making friends. if you live near them - have him over and help him with his social skills.

Sure the school can make an effort to help him but keep in mind they can't hold his hand and compensate for any social skills he was never taught. The school counselor should be able to help, and putting him in some sort of non team physical activity should help his self confidence, like karate.

My son gets bullied everyday and he is not ever weight nor is a not it all and has never been homeschooled. He is a beautiful , intelligent and athletic young man. I have been to the school numerous occasions and they tell me they will take care of it and nothing is done. My son will come home in tears and tells me I give up mom it just gets worse every time you go up there to the school. Please just dont bother , I dont know about you moms out there but my son is 9 it breaks my heart when I feel like I have no control over this. As, a parent you want to protect your child and make sure no harm is done to them. Now its to the point where he is not even comfortable going to school. I have done some research on home school programs and talked to him about them for the last two years. He finally wants to be home schooled. He is so excited that he only has a few more months to go but I am reminded when he gets off the bus how tired he is and hes not sure if he can take it much longer. It hurts me and upsets me how mean and cruel children have gotten through the years and I hope that you find something that works for this child and do something quickly because it can deteriorate them spiritually, mentally and physically . I would say home school him again and teach him better strategies and not to have a now it all attitude .

The school will ignor it as long as you let them! Your aunt needs to schedule an immediate appointment with the principal and make sure, face to face, that he is advised of the situation and then she needs to ask him point blank what he intends to do. Make sure she does not go along with her son needing to do something different, i.e., don't go into specific areas of the school in order to avoid the bullies, etc. It is not her son that needs to change anything. It is the bullies who need to change their behavior. It is a well-known FACT that having the victim try to avoid the bully does not work. Nothing the victim does will change the situation. The bullies behavio needs to be changed and that is the ONLY thing that will work!

Then, she needs to go home and write a letter confirming the meeting and what she told him and what he told her. She needs to conclude the letter by saying that they are now on notice of this situation; they are legally obligated to address it; if any further incident occur, she will seek legal advice and if any harm comes to her child, she will sue the school district, and will specifically name the principal in the lawsuit. She needs to cc that letter to the superintendent of the school district.

If she does this, they will KNOW she is serious. Usually the only thing that gets a school district off their butt is the threat of legal action. Oh, and tell her also to go to the police and file a complaint and get some advice from them and then put in the letter that she has contacted law enforcement and then whatever they told/advised her to do.

I am sooooooo very sorry for your cousin. I really hope she is able to get this handled for him!

Is he being confronted physically, or verbally, or both? And is it a particular kid or group of kids that are targeting him?
It's hard to answer without more details.
Also, I hope that he's meeting with his counselor on a regular basis. It sounds like he needs to work on his social skills, and the counselor can really help with that.

Wish you had given more details about these other kids. Is it the same ones every time? Is it verbal or is there pushing and shoving involved?e While bullying should never be tolerated, some degree of teasing and poking fun do happen with kids this age. I certainly remember it and I was never bullied. I would suggest he and his mom start regular visits with the school counselor so he can learn some social skills and how to stick up for himself when confronted with mean kids and bullies. He is at an age where he has to begin to learn how to handle these types of problems. Of course, the school should keep a watchful eye and step in if he needs them. Good luck to him.

You know, I dread being in this position with my child someday. She's cute and smart and funny, and the other kids like her, but you never know when that will change. Sometimes we parents can't fix things either, in spite of the "zero tolerance" policies. One of my nieces was being bullied, and my brother calmly printed out the offending texts that they were sending her (threatening physical violence), met with the principal and provided copies, and also called the parents of the other kids and said that if anything happened to his child, he was calling the police and filing charges. That ended the problem. However, another brother's child was harassed at her school and finally had to leave school, the family had to split up and live in two states to send her to another school, and it was a huge financial and emotional strain. Nothing short of that worked, and my brother is very well-liked and influential in his town. Once kids are in school, no one can make them be less hateful. Interestingly, the last straw incident was so public and hateful, even some (but not all) of the bullies apologized, but it was just too late after too much harassment for my niece to ever feel comfortable at that school again.