Scared, Concerned, and Want to Get Pregnant

My sister in law gets on clomid everytime she plans a pregnancy. I don't know much about it but she says it totally works great for her. She gets pregnant within the first 2 months of trying. She adopted her first child, and had 3 on her own & is trying for another one now. I have had quite a few friends have difficulty getting pregnant, some adopted, some did fertility & some gave up and got pregnant on their own. I wouldn't worry too much about getting on clomid- if it helps great. I googled clomid & there is a ton of stuff online for you to research before you take it try this one for starters http://infertility.about.com/cs/clomi1/a/Clomid.htm.

good luck :)

Hi S.,
How wonderful that you took the time to really get to know yourself and your husband before embarking on marriage and children. This and the rest of your story tells me that you are very intuitive and have a strong sense of self. Yes, I know it has been tested strongly and will so in the future. It is your true self. As there is opposition in all things, I believe they help us not take our gifts for granted. The downs of life keep us focused on our strengths and there will be conspiring "men" knowingly or unknowingly as rocks in our path. I choose to see these rocks as stepping stones, each teaching me a lesson that makes me realize my gifts and my true self. Your story gives me great strength in knowing that you are realizing your great worths in this world of ours.
Now, to give you some things to think, discern and decide about for yourself...
Please don't worry anymore about the past. You can not change the past, even if some of the choices are affecting your now - they can not affect the future unless you want/will them too. At each moment of every day, you choose how your life is going to unfold for that moment. You can plan for the future but when the future comes the decisions that shape it come from the moments/the decisions you make in the now moments when they come. Ok, so what I am saying is, take control of your life right now. Yes, I know the birth control, the depo, etc. (even the clomid) have/will messed up your body. You are right that foreign materials are not good for the body. Our bodies were not made to ingest much of what is on the market today especially chemicals and drugs. Just as our bodies were not made to eat grass like the cow or bark off a tree like a horse, we need to sit with our bodies and seriously ask ourselves if we are taking care of it as we should.
I am huge into diet because much of our food supply has been altered with chemicals and drugs. Natural flavorings, food colorings, preservatives (all chemicals), altered foods like white flour that is wheat stripped of all the good stuff that contains the vitamins and enzymes that assist our body into being able to digest it in the first place and the drugs are finding their way into our body thru our tap water and in the animal products from animals that have been giving growth hormones, antibiotics and more to produce more then keep them healthy in their overweight state.
So, yes, take a good hard look at what you are taking into your body. Does it serve your best purpose? It may take some significant adjustments to your current way of eating. Husbands can be a great support or very much the opposite. One thing to remember is that you are you, you are not your husband and he is him and not you. Allow one another the space to be your very best selves, male and female, husband and wife. Your bodies are not made the same and therefore are in need of different things to sustain it. When it comes to diet, there is much to be gained by eating as healthy as possible for both of you. You can go cold turkey or transition as much as needed. It all depends on how quickly you want to get "well". There are many books out there to help you get started. A great one is Original Fast Foods by Simmons (can be found at the Herb Shop in Orem on State St.). Another is The Makers Diet which can be found in most health food stores.
I know of an Iridologist who follows this Makers Diet with what he calls a True Foods Diet. You can find out more about him and the diet on his web site at www.livingage.org . As an Iridologist, he puts together a program specialized for that individual with supplements, chinese herbs and homeopathics (they remove the toxins out of the body). He has had much success in helping couples get pregnant. For me and my story, he helped my son 4 years ago at the age of 2. My son was confirmed severely autistic and in just 4 months on Leatham's program, I had my son back. My son was retested at the age of 3 and was pronounced no longer autistic or anywhere on the spectrum. He's a healthy, vibrant, normal 6 year old today. As for me, I had very much the same problems as you. I was trying to overcome years of birth control pills, a depo shot, various drugs doctors gave me trying to "help" and a processed diet laden with chemicals, hormones and just plain junk. In just one month, I watched all my food allergies disappear. And in the months to come, I found my periods normalize and my energy level increase. That's what a good diet and some extra help from alternative therapies (alternative from drugs and chemicals) can do for our bodies.
I also believe our emotions and self talk play their part. The ego has it's place to protect us but it is also immature in it's thinking and can get way off base. Much of our female problems in the area of menstrual problems can show up emotionally in our thoughts as well. Consider these possibilities of the negative effects of the ego's banter... Rejection of one's femininity. Guilt, fear. Belief that the genitals are sinful or dirty. Denial of the self. Rejection of the feminine principle... I know that all sounds harsh and we may not want to admit we have such thoughts or feelings but our world in it's push for equality at whatever the cost, making women feel like the only way to get ahead is to be more like a man, and sometimes we lose some of our feminine identity when we marry with this thought that now we are one (one in purpose, yes, we are still needed for who we are) and on and on. There is so much pushing and pulling in this world of ours that we forget our true selves, our purpose, what role we are to play in each role/moment of our lives - that role is being our best selves. We bring our best to the table when we bring our best selves. So, instead of all those negative thoughts, replace them with these... I rejoice in my femaleness. I love being a woman. I love my body. I accept my full power as a woman and accept all by bodily processes as normal and natural. I love and approve of myself... If you are having a problem with any of these statements, think they are corny - whatever - something is amiss. These are vital to the core of being a woman and are your very right to have and feel this way about yourself. Say them to yourself as often as possible every day. They will soon resonate with you once more. They are good to keep on hand when life's downs are upon you.

S. - How wonderful that you look forward to having children. I hope that you will have them soon. Birth control can really mess up a woman's system. So many women go through the same kinds of things you are going through. You are right about drugs too, they can have so many adverse affects. I suggest you talk to someone at your local health food store for advice. Natural herbs and the like might help you. Eating better can help. It may take some time, but none of the things you find there can have adverse affects like drugs sometimes can. Good luck to you.

I say find a new Doctor. They will send your chart over, so you are not starting totally over...maybe see a fertility specialist. I took clomid for my first two kids then BAM my body decided to be normal after that and I have a beautiful surprise. I was about to switch Dr's before I found out I was pregnant with my first. I even had a first appt, then found out I was pregnant then stayed with that original Dr. But a good Dr. that listens and really cares does make a difference. Good Luck!

For me clomid did nothing. I was on it far too long. 1 and 1/2 years. I know you don't want to "start over" with a new doctor, but maybe a fertility specialist would be better. There are many test that they can do to determine what the problem is. I am wondering why your doctor doesn't just check your hormone levels??? If he has not ask him about checking them at different times of the month to see if you have the right hormones to sustain a pregnancy if one occurs. I was not producing enough progesterone, so fertilization may have occured, but I did not have enough progesterone for a pregnancy to start and I would spontaniously abort. I did end up having two great kids, but it took me 12 years and two miscarrages to get my second child. My biggest mistake I think was not contacting a fertility specialist and trusting my OB.

S.-
I know your story all to well, well most of it. I never got the shot, but do have endometriosis, and had a laprascopy done in 2000 and had that cauterized. I was told we would conceive quite quickly, and nope it didn't happen.
We tried everything that we could do til I finally had to get a doctor involved. For my first pregnancy, I didn't take fertility drugs of any kind, and after having 3 artificial inseminations done, I conceived my first born, a boy, in 2003, giving birth in 2004. Just so you know, it may sound easy, but that was so stressful, testing each day, getting negatives, skipping months, etc. It was pure hell.
Well, in 2006 we decided to try again, after being on birth control for 2 yrs. We started trying on labor day weekend, this time with the help from clomid. I took clomid for about 8 months, and underwent 7 artificial inseminations, and NOTHING! Talk about hating the big man above...
So I switched dr.s and went up to the U of U and that is when they decided to check to see if my tubes were flowing properly, which they were, and then it was time for the SHOT! MY husband had to give me a shot for 5-10 day a month, and I went in daily or every other day, so they could do an ultra sound of my eggs. Well, I was good to go, so they gave me a shot to make me ovulate, and I when in the next day and had ANOTHER insemination. THis did not work.
So, before you can start another round of the "shot" you have to go in and have and ultrasound done to see if there are left over eggs ( If there is, you skip this round), well, to my horror, there were two left over from the last cycle, and I was told that I had to skip this month. I was absolutely devastated! I nearly had a break down.
Well, the man above must have FINALLY felt sympathy for me, because that month, ON OUR OWN, we conceived our daughter- that was July of 2007, and I am 2-3 weeks away from delivery.
So, moral of my story- there are a few things that you need to get done, and some risks you must be willing to take for these little miracles.
If you need some numbers or support, please don't hesitate to call me.
Just know that this can get expensive, as we added up about 10 thousand in trying to get baby #2, that is with all surgerys, etc. The drugs can get expensive, but I don't regret them one bit. Clomid did not make me any different. The shot didn't either.
If you want to get the ball rolling, you might HAVE to try the clomid for a few months, then possibly go to the shots.
They were not painful shots either, trust me, I am uber paranoid of needles, and would do those again in a heart beat!
Please contact me for more info.
Good luck with this, and try and keep what sanity you may have, since I do know that during this, it seems to dwindle away. Also know that a lot of people DO NOT understand what you are going through, but that isn't their fault. Try and find some people that are going through the same thing, their support is what helps you get through it.
Much love and luck to you!

Hi there -
I have never responded before to the mamsouce emails I receive - I always just read them. But when I read yours, I felt I had to respond.... because I was in almost your exact situtation a year ago! Tried for a long time to get preg, it wasnt happening, was told all kinds of things from the doc.. decided to take a chance and use clomid ( actually, the generic brand - it's cheaper).
And now I sit here holding my 7-week-old beautiful baby girl. Had a wonderful pregnancy and delivery. Clomid was the easiest med to take - no side effects, not too expensive, and did the trick! I couldn't be more grateful for this med. Sometimes Mother Nature needs a little boost...
Best wishes to ya!
C.

I had no problems with clomid at all. My periods were almost exactly like yours. I was on it for about 4 months after 5 years of trying on our own and I became pregnant. From there on I had 3 more children with my periods and pain getting increasingly worse as I got older. I finally had an Hysterectomy and my Gyn. told me my Uterus had massive Endometriosis. Just remember what works for one woman may not work the same way for the next. Good Luck!

S.,
I am in contact with a doctor of Nutrition named Dr. Karen Spencer Dees. She is a mazing and has helped many women get pregnant using nutrition and supplements (optional). She herself has gone through similar challenges so she is extremely empathetic and is a joy to work with. Her success rate is super high. She runs a women's clinic and also is a guest teacher at Stanford. She knows how women's bodies work and how nutrition can help, (working with nature). If you want her contact info send me a message.

Hope to hear from you soon!
N.
Send me a message

While you are probably right and have something else going on that needs to be addressed I think first so far as getting pregnant you should try "Taking charge of your fertility"
http://www.ovusoft.com/
http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reprod...
Read the book and start charting. You learn a lot about your own reproductive cycle. I personally think all women should be empowered like this. We should know what is so great about us and should have a better idea of what happens to us every cycle and when and why. I chose this route as our birth control/pregnancy achievement becuase I didn't want to mess with hormone drugs and it has been extremely enlightening. It has also worked.

At least armed with the knowledge of your cycles and what is or is not happening you can take that to the doctor. Be warned though many doctors don't hold stake in it becuase it seems to override their "authority". But why shouldn't you know more about your body than the doctor? At least this way you know something at you aren't going blind and helpless as before. Be patient learning to chart takes a few months but it is something that if you learn to do you will want to tell every other woman about... at least that's what happened with all the friends I told about it and they learned it.
Best wishes to you! I hope you find a way to get rid of the pain, an answer at least and a sweet little baby soon!

S.,

You asked for advise about using Clomid. I can't assist you with that. My advise is to listen to your heart. If you feel that you have Endometriosis and your doctor isn't listening to you, Find another doctor that will. Trust yourself enough to know what you feel is right is perfect for you.

Don't hold on to the past, simply learn from it and make a different choice this time.
May the Lord bless you,
With Joy, C.

Are you in Utah? I have an amazing woman Dr. in American Fork I would highly recommend. All of my girlfriends go there too. She really listens and understands because she is a woman! I would definately change Drs. I question the surgery to find out about endometriosis too. There are other ways of finding out. I know of many women who know they have it but have never had the surgery. I couldn't get pregnant for 4 yrs. and found out it was my thyroid. I had irregular periods too. The thyroid controls the hormones. Whatever you do, listen to your intuition! Your body and your spirit know what is going on and are trying to tell you. If you don't listen, you will get the wrong treatment. Drs. know a lot but they don't know everything! Good luck and if you want the name and number of my Dr., please email me.

having kids is the hardest thing i have ever done. my advice would be to wait until you are healthy, and then try to have kids.

Hi S.,
Don't beat yourself up about getting the depo shot! You were doing the best you could with the information you had at the time! Honestly your doctor is at fault for not giving you proper informed consent about the ramifications of using depo.

I have had two babies after depo shots so I do know how frustrating it can be. My best recommendation is to get Toni Weschler's book "Taking Charge of your Fertility" read it and begin charting. Investigate some of the herbs that are often helpful for fertility and then find a good doctor that can help see you through this process and onto Clomid or whatever when the time is right. You might try Leslie Petersen ND for a balanced approach.
Good luck!

There are several really good doctors in AF where you live. I have used some who didn't listen at all when I asked (after 3 m/c) to be put on progesterone. Then I switched and had my hormone levels checked the minute I got pg---yep, low hormones. DUH.

I switched from seeing Lind/Lamoreaux/Melendez (& Richards), and saw Kari Lawrence (in AF.). She is done this month ("retiring" to be a full-time mom.) She's fantastic. Andrea Smith has a practice in AF. She's good---but I don't like Bryan Watabe (in her partnership). Hate him, actually. I *love* Ryan Jones (also her partner). He's great. All of them are under the age of 40, and their offices are next to AF hospital.

My SIL swears by Dr. Parker & Dr. Saunders. Has had all her babies there.

Dr. Wolley in Provo specializes in "high risk" pgs. He's got a nice beside manner, and he's so knowledgeable.

Have you considered seeing a reproductive endocrinologist? They are the people who deal with hormonal issues. I LOVED Henry Hatasaka. He's at UVRMC--works with Dr. Frishnect. They are really, really good.

I had NINE pregnancies---and have 4 living children. I definitely feel your pain. I think I'm clickable/email able if you have questions.

PS: I took clomid twice and got pg both times. I needed the progesterone to STAY pg. Anyway, I have also taken hormones. Do click me/email me if you have questions. It sounds like we've had parallel experiences, and I honestly have dealt with almost every OB in Provo/Orem/American Fork.

Wow. This is a close hit to home for me. Why don't doctors teach us women more basics in this area?! You have every right to be frustrated and mad that he's been wasting your time. I just wish some of these basics were taught to more of us sooner. I feel for you.

First, you can begin by taking your temperature every morning the second you wake up before getting out of bed. Record it and plot it on a graph (exactly like we all did in high school--yep, there was really life application to that math we learned). It probably won't make any sense at first but you should begin to see patterns in yourself over certain periods of time and even if you don't it will help your doctors help you better. Your hormones influence your waking temperature so that helps you and the doctors see how/if your hormones are fluctuating normally (there are lots of variations of normal though so don't freak out if it doesn't make sense at first, just do it so you are better armed with data for the doc).

Second, there are a lots of resources out there online and at the library. I recommend the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" and the website fertiltyjourney.com. There are even more. Lots more. Getting educated about all of this is helpful but emotional too.

Third, getting a new doctor is not a bad idea. I recommend going to a Reproductive Endocrinologist or a doc who specializes in fertility. The RE tends to be more expensive but they move faster on issues like this because this is their focus. There ARE doctors out there who listen better than yours has. Whatever you do, find one who listens.

Fourth, I know many friends who have gotten pg on Clomid. I think the trouble is taking it for very long though because it can cause greater appetite and can dry out your cervical fluid (not good). Clomid is not bad though if you are not ovulating. Ultimately it is your decision though. Take your temp because that can help you see when you ovulate (your temp will go up) and then you'll know when/if the Clomid is working.

Fifth, lots of docs like to find endometriosis through surgery (Laproscopy) but my RE said that is not the best way to go first. I know of women who have had complications from the laps. Another procedure, hysterosalpingogram (HSG) is less intrusive and can indicate if you have endo. In the HSG you are injected with dye and then looked at with an ultrasound. Ask your doc about an HSG instead of a laproscopy.

Hang in there. Infertility is quite the ride. May you have a very short one.

tell your doctor the truth. tell him that you believe that the problem is endometriosis and tell him that you want the surgery. If you feel that your doctor does not have your best interests at heart find another doctor. If you feel that you cannot talk to your doctor, find another doctor. Your OB/GYN knows more about your body and what will happen to you than you will ever know. He will also be the one guiding you to make tough decisions should something come up during pregnancy and delivery. I really think you should change doctors. I could never have a baby with a doctor I didn't like (I actually switched to a midwife with my last 2 kids because my experience with my 2nd child was not great.....I would totally recommend this).

Good luck to you!