Saying Goodbye to the Pacifier: Seeking Advice on How to Handle with My 2 Yr Old

I think you have the right idea. Make her see that she is now a big girl and no longer a baby. It might go better than you think. I took my daughter's from her when she was 1 1/2 and it was the best decision I made. GOOD LUCK!!

Pacifier Fairy worked at my house - my 5 year old still points out which stuffed animal (a cat) she got from the fairy.

Hey J. -

I don't know if this will help or not, but one of my friends (my son is only 7mo and refuses a pacifier, so I have no personal experience on this one!) wanted her oldest to give up the pacifier before his little brother was born. I guess he was a little less than 2 when she did it. But she cut all of the nipples off of his pacifiers. Apparently you have to get them very close (maybe 2cm) from the plastic part or they can still suck, but that way 'she' wasn't taking the pacifier away. They were all just broken. Her son was taking them at nap and at bed, so she started it for naptime, but from what she said, there was no real problem. he asked for it again that night, and maybe fussed a little more than normal, but went on to bed, and within a couple days, never discussed it again...even when his little brother was born a couple months later. It's probably going to be easier on her than you think, but keep a couple extra hidden just in case. I would do the pacifier now and then the bed, but combining them probably won't matter either. Hope this helps.
~K.

I poked a hole in it, made the hole a little bigger each night, therefore it had no purpose. Though my son did still take it to bed with him, he would just hold it and then he finally didn't care about it anymore. But poking a hole was the only way I could get him away from it.

My daughter was 26 months old when we finally decided that it was time to give up the binky. I was dreading that day because she had it all the time. When she cried, she wanted it, when she slept, she wanted it. So, one day we just took it away and hid them with the others so she couldn't see them. When she asked for it, we told her that "tweet-tweet" took it away (she had just learned that birds say tweet...so we ran with it. :-) Spur of the moment thing. She never fussed even at bed time. It was always "tweet-tweet took it with him" and she's been fine ever since. As far as the big girl bed, my daughter started climbing out of her rib at 18 months so she's done fine with her big girl bed since then. Good luck.

We did this with my son when he was about 18 months. We took his pacifier away before we moved him out of his crib. We only had 1 night where it wasn't pleasant because he was like your daughter, only using it for sleeping. We just threw them all away and told him he was a big boy and no longer needed them. After 1 night of him screaming, he was completely fine and we never heard another word about it :). Good luck!! (And the transition to the big boy bed was the harder part - he insisted on sleeping in his sister's room!!)

Sooner is always better. The older they get the more attached they become and it becomes a habit. We took my daughters away when she was 25 months, after returning from vacation in Punta Cana, we knew we might need it for the plane, or I wouldn't have waited that long. Anyway, we told her that we were giving them all to the baby quack, quacks in Punta Cana. It worked. She asked a couple times, but no big melt downs. Good Luck!

when we decided it was time for no more bedtime binky. What we did was have her give it to Santa since he was bringing her big girl bed anyway. She did well with the transition. She was about your daughters age when she gave it to Santa. I know you are planning on giving her the big girl bed next month. Just wanted to let you know we never had a problem she never asked for it again. I hope you are as lucky as we were. Good luck.

I had the same trouble with my youngest. What we did was held off til Easter time. When it came around I told her that the Easter Bunny needed it for one of her babies. She put it in the basket for her, no problem. The next day it was gone. The Bunny left her a very sweet note of thanks and an extra big chocolate bunny! She was a giver at an early age. :-)
I love the idea of connecting the new bed with the removal of the "bippy." Big girls with their own beds surely don't use pacifiers!! With a new "big girl" bed comes other big girl stuff. Like big girl sheets and being able to get out of bed all by herself. Best of luck.

I would suggest invovling your child in the decision. My son had about the same age and was also using it to sleep only... One day he was playing around with his plastic scissors pretending to cut things and his dad suggested they cut the pacifier... So they did (with real scissors) and at night when he wanted it, my husband just reminded and showed him that he himself had cut it earlier. I thought it was going to be a nightmare, but he just asked for it a few nights, we would show him the cut pacifier and he would go to sleep. I've hear of kids who "gave" them to dogs, would also be reminded at night they themselves had given it away... They throw it away in the garbage... Good luck!

I, personally, wouldn't lump the two events into one...that may be too many changes for her to endure at once. With my son, he was pretty much done w/it at 16 months. Unfortunately, I'm a single mom and I didn't have much time to develop a plan to wean him off of it...he had to tough it out.

He'd started a new daycare and, though the shock of being around people he didn't know probably made him cling more to his paci at the time...he was also surrounded by lot's more kids during the day, which ultimately kept him too busy to need the paci during the day. I didn't do/didn't know about the nipple-cutting method at the time. And when I thought about it, his pacifier was more a convenience for me, rather than him. I used to use it between his bath and bedtime to get him to sleep quicker; and while dressing him in the morning to keep him from being so busy and prevent me from being late to work. But he was constantly spitting it out and throwing it across the room anyway, so I took the opportunity of him not needing it at daycare to just take it away completely (ya gotta seize the moment).

It took a while and some effort because I had to step up in every OTHER area of his routine (i.e., he absolutely could not miss a nap, meals had to be on time, sang to him, tickled him, and every effort was made to redirect his attention when he was crabby), but getting over the paci (like bottles and diapers) has been well worth it. I wear two hats so I'm all about streamlining any process. However, for some reason I refuse to throw them away until he turns 2 lol.

Short answer: there IS no answer. But man o man, BIG triumph. Good luck.

My 2 year old (just turned 2 in August) gave up her binky (also a nightime only user) to my new baby nephew. I told her the baby really needed it and that she's a big girl now... I talked it up for a day though--saying how she doesn't need it, she's a big, only babies use binkies... So, when the time came she spent about 3 days screaming during nap time but going to bed with no problem at night. She's still in her crib--and I can guarantee that if she was in a big girl bed she would have thrashed around her room and banged on the door those first three days! So, I suggest ditching the binky first THEN doing the big girl bed. Also, having the thought that her binky went to another baby (rather than that she can't have it any more) was more comforting. She now says "baby Hunter has it" whenever she asks for it...that way she can hold on to that thought. Best of luck--it'll be hard! We are about 2 weeks in to no-binkies and she still talks about how Baby Hunter has it. Her naps are a little shorter now but no longer asks for it when she goes down. YAY! I'm sooo proud of her. Best of luck!

i took my son pacifier away in january 2008 when we were on vacation. he was born march 2005. he slept great without it while on vacation lots of swimming, playing in the sand, etc., but at some point my husband made a comment about getting when he got home much to my dismay. that first night at home was a bit exhausting, but everyone survived. and we never looked back. i still have the pacifier in my luggage in one of the inner pockets.

I agree i would say that when you get the big bed the pacifier can be in it. To me it's the right idea to bundle them together. You just don't want to suggest that she has an option of either staying in the crib and having the pacifier or going to the big bed and not having it. I suggest you say at the age she is she's supposed to be going to a big bed and also tell her but the big bed can't have a pacifier. I would give her the option of giving up the pacifier before going to be big bed. In most cases (not all) children understand where it is easier on them if they try to stop using it sooner rather than later... especially if they're not completely attached like she is.

If she's excited about the change of beds then I would also go that route. Build it up and maybe give her an animal and say, "in the big girl bed you get to pick each night what you want to sleep with, we don't need the pacifier anymore."

I've heard of several kids mailing (or giving) away their pacy to "babies that don't have one".

The first time my daughter fell asleep without hers she didn't get it back. It was rough for about 2days. Daddy was out of town so by the time he got home, all was forgotten. It was easier that way, he'd have caved and given in to his baby girl.

A friend of mine has daughter who will be 3 in November. She has asked her if it is OK if they send the pacifiers to the "angel babies" at her birthday party. They are going to tie them to a bunch of helium balloons and send them off into the sky. Her party is in 6 weeks and she is already excited about helping the babies in Heaven! AWWW! :)

I would try to steer away from telling your daughter that "big girls sleep in big beds and don't use a pacifier". That might make her want to stay a "baby" for longer and make it harder for you. Tell her a few days or weeks in advance about the end of the pacifier days. Get her excited about it, take her to the toy store and tell her to pick one toy that she can "trade" her pacifiers for. I'm sure the sales people at Toys R Us have heard it before!!

Good luck!!

We had the pacifier fairy come and took the pacifier away and left a special stuff animal(or whatever they r in to)in its place. It work great! Good luck!

My oldest was 3 1/2 when we finally got rid of his. My only advice would be, no matter what you do or how you do it, once you decide to take it away you CAN'T turn back. Get rid of ALL of them so there's no chance of finding one. If you give in just once she'll learn that if she cries long enough she'll get what she wants which will just make it harder in the end. Good luck to you!!!!

You're doing the right thing. It's time, and in my opinion bundling the two events is a good way to handle it. You might let her be a part of the process as you take down the crib and bring in the new bed!! (with great excitment!! ;-) When the crib goes out, have her put the pacifier with it. The crib and pacifier go together, they too are 'bundled'. Now she will know it's gone and if she asks for it at bedtime, you simply remind her that the pacifier is with the crib, but now that she is a big girl, pacifiers don't go with a big girl bed. You might even give her something new, something special to go with the 'Big Girl Bed'. My daughters have soft dolls with sleeping faces that seem to give comfort at bedtime. Good luck, it will be fine.
Suz

Let her get in her big girl bed and after a few days (if it goes well) tell her that "big girls don't have pacifiers". If that doesn't work (which it did with my youngest) what I did with my oldest was I had him leave it for Santa so santa could take it to another little boy who didn't have one. Santa brought him a special little gift (a christmas ornament)for being so thoughtful. He asked for it once and I reminded him that he gave it away and that was it! Good luck!

We took my sons pacifier away at this age. We had one horrible night where he cried all night, but we didn't give in. That was it, we were fine after that, the cutting nipples thing didn't work for us, but I've heard people who really like it. My advice is not to link these two events, in your mind they both mark becoming a big girl, but she may have different ideas. You don't want her first association with a new big girl bed to be a traumatic one and taking away the paci most likely will be very traumatic. I would take it away then maybe a week or so later switch beds, the last thing you want is a child who hates their bed and won't stay in it. Best of luck!!

Hi J. -
My son was addicted to his pacifier and I really didn't want him to be 4 and still screaming for it so I cut him off early (at 12 months). I know that sounds harsh, but he was ready, it was just me that had to adjust to him being a big boy. It took a little prod from my mother one night when I was changing his diaper before bed, he was extremely tired and he hadn't gotten his pacifier yet. My mom convinced me that it would be a good time to try it and it worked!! He did cry for about 20 minutes, but then he just went to sleep. I thought I would run into issues because he goes to day care with a set of twins that are 9 months younger than he is, but he was great. He knew that they had pacifiers and that those pacifiers were not his and soon he was helping the nanny by trying to put the girls pacifiers in their mouths for them. so long story short.. i say cold turkey is the best route. If she is already not taking it during her day naps she is probably ready to give it up for night-time too. Good luck :)

My daughter had a problem with the cold turkey approach, and like a sap, at the advise of a psychologist, I gave it back to her. It took another year to get it away again. This time I combined 2 ideas, one was on Nanny 911, where the Binky Fairy comes and takes the binky away and then leaves in its place a card and small gift congratulating the child for giving her binky up. The other thing we did, since my daughter was a build a bear addict was take her to build a bear that day and she put the binkies in a bear and then she had the bear to hug at night with the binkies inside. Between the 2 approaches, she gave it up with no problems.

Hi J.,
I would space the two activities apart. Get rid of the pacifier and then move to the big bed. Another poster said that what worked for her and losing the paci was to poke a hole or two in it so that it would lose its suction. Then it isn't as soothing as before.
M.

I think you're on the right track. I like the idea of combining the twe "big girl" routines. My only other suggestion would be to maybe get her something else special to sleep with. A blanky or a special stuffed animal to adopt as her new security at bedtime. Definitely throw the pacifiers out though. It reduces the temptation on her and your part. And when you do this, let her be the one to throw them in the trash. Make it a big deal-have her say goodbye and take the trash out right away. I tried getting rid of the bottle and stored them "just in case", and because of my weakness I had to pull them back out. When my daughter physically threw them out and they were gone for good, we didn't have a problem. She asked for it at bedtime and I reminded her that we don't have one to give her but she's a big girl. She didn't make too big a deal out of it. Good luck!!!!!!

Hi J.~

My son was 14 months when we had to move him to a toddler bed, due to the arrival of his baby sister who needed the crib. I wanted him off of the pacifier by the time his sister was born (when he was 15 months)so he wouldn't be taking the baby's pacifier from her. The move to the toddler bed resulted in one night of crying the entire night, but we did not give in. He eventually fell asleep on the floor, but was fine after that. After two weeks in his new bed we decided to take away the pacifier. We gathered them all up and my son threw them into the garbage one by one, saying "bye bye". His first nap and night without the pacifier was terrible, but we did not give in. We purposely threw them all away so we could NOT give in! After two days he was fine, and did not need it anymore. My advice would be to go through these two very big changes seperately. It would of deffinately been too much for my son to handle if we did both changes at once. Let your daughter feel comfortable with one change, then ease her into the next. I would also say to do this sooner than later. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Stay strong because both changes can be difficult, but you will be so proud of her! Good Luck :0)

I saw this done on one of the Nanny shows. Get a big container (after a few days of prepping so your little one is ready to do it)Go on a pacifier hunt to collect them from the house, the car, anywhere they might pop up and undo your efforts. Let her hunt them and put them in a container with your help. Then let her empty them into the trash leaving the empty jar. Let her know that tonight while she sleeps for the 1st time as a big girl without the passy - the passy fairy will come and fill up the jar with things a big girl likes. So you know the rest - fill the container up with stuff to play with as a reward for being a big girl. It looked so sweet when I saw this on Nanny 911 - the child never had another desire for the passy. Good Luck - S.

I agree using the "Binky Fairy" can be a good choice. When my older son was two we were ready for him to give up the pacifier. I had not heard of the Binky Fairy, but instead told my son that there were babies that needed a "woe-woe" (his word for pacifier). I told him that on a certain day we were going to mail all of his pacifiers to "the babies". We talked about it over and over. Then on the day, we put them in an envelope and wrote on there "To the Babies". It worked well. Anytime he would ask about one, I'd remind him that we mailed them to the babies that needed them.

I still have the envelope put away. I was going to actually mail it if it came down to it *(to my grandmother), but he was convinced enough without going that far.

Best of luck with the transition.

We used the "Bink Fairy" in our house. Our son put his bink on the window sill for the Bink Fairy to take to another little boy who did not have one and in exchange the Bink Fairy left him something he wanted which was a spiderman costume. He was 3 when we did it and was exhibiting signs that he was ready to give it up. He did fine except for one incident when we went to my parents' house a few days later and my Mom had not put the binks she kept for him away and he wanted to try to use them. But I just reminded him that if he did the bink fairy had to take away his costume. He kept the costume.
Good Luck

We just got our three year old off of her pacifier and it was not easy. We were in the middle of moving to a different state and then visiting relatives by plane. We started the same way you did with the home only, then sleep only, then night time only and then finally we talked and talked about getting her a new baby bear and she was going to put the pacifier in the bear and she was going to be a big girl and no longer use it. She was all for it, she loved shopping for the bear (18$ at build a bear), she put the pacifier in the bear herself and watched them sew it up and was perfectly content about the whole issue. We made sure she could feel it inside the bear. Of course that night was terrible, but we persevered and kept reminding her that she put the pacifier in the bear and the bear would sleep with her all night long. We only had problems for two nights then she got the hang of it. She did try to steal her younger sister's pacifier for a month but we reminded her that it was not hers and she needed to give it back. Now it's been about two months and it seems like forever since she's had her plug in her mouth. Good Luck.

My five year old was the exact same age when we decided it was time to part with the pacie. She used it only at night in the crib and we switched to a big girl bed at about the same time. I was really nervous about getting rid of the pacie since she was 2 1/2 and seemed to be reliant at night but our case was really easy. One of my friends had a newborn baby girl named Mia. I let my daughter decorate a shoebox and we wrote Mia's name on it, put all pacies inside, and drove it over to my friend's house. My daughter hand delivered to the new baby (since pacies are for babies)! It worked like a charm for us... We also changed to a big girl bed at 2 1/2 and she never again wanted to go back in the crib. I left the crib in her room for about a week but when I realized there was no transition issues, we took it down. Someone recommended putting the new bed in the same location of the room where the crib was..so I did that. Good Luck!

C. B.

we did the same with our son who got his pacifiers taken away at 2 1/2. He was very much into Thomas the Tank Engine and we told him the whole week prior that the paci fairy was going to come and leave him a treat...so the night came and we took the paci away and he got a Percy Train on his bed. He asked for his paci the next night and then never again.

You're lucky it's a pacifier. I'm going to ask advice soon about The Thumb. My almost five year old is as attached as I was. I guess the reward thing would work?

-S. Kav

I have a 2 yr old and a 10 mnth old at home. My oldest said bye bye to her pacifier around three months old. She also was only allowed to have her pacifier at bedtime. I think the way I finally got her off the pacifier was by tell her that I could not find it. (I really did loss it for a while.) However, I still have her sleeping in her crib, because when I ask her if she wants me to turn it to a toodler bed she said no. Therefore I think I plan to keep her in it until she tell me she does want to sleep in her crib. Knowing me I would probably take away one thing at a time. It might not be one others would advice but that is probably what I would do if i was faced with that problem.

my son turned 2 on the 31st of aug well on the 17th of aug he was completely off. what my husband and i did was for 2 wks prior to the 17th we let him have the pacifier for nap and bed time only as soon as he was up he put it in his crib. on the 16th i told him tomorrow no more pacifier. i put the bag of pacifiers up on top of the stove in a cabinet where he couldn not see them. well on the 17th he didn't get it at all. he asked for it and i opened his closet where the bag of pacifiers were so he could see they were gone. he didn't take a nap all wk but went to bed good i think just b/c he was so tired. well on that saturday he took a nap. he loves sponge bob so i bought him a sponge bob as a prize for him not having the pacifier anymore. well on that saturday i gave him the sponge bob b/c he took a nap and he has taken them ever since. he carries 2-4 stuff animals w/him where ever he goes but hey its better then a pacifier. good luck.