Sarcastic 6 Year Old

Updated on October 06, 2006
L.R. asks from Estero, FL
9 answers

I have a 6 year old daughter who, at times, likes to confuse adults on purpose. i am not the only one who can see this. It is so frustrating. If I say its black she will say its white or if I do answer her questions correctly then she will turn it around and say that she meant something else WHEN WE KNOW SHE DIDNT! For example, the other day she said "I think you have a crab on your window back here" I said "no it may be a spider but it is not a crab because they live in the ocean" she said, "well, there is water back here on the window so its a crab" I said "no that is from the rain" she just turns and says, "Well, I don't care!" This behavior is driving me out of my mind!! Does anyone have any suggestions? I have spoke to her about this until I am blue in the face!

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A.F.

answers from Gainesville on

My daughter did the very same thing when she was younger and still does on occasion. It was/is very frustrating but I think it is a result of her being both very intelligent and very strong-willed. She argues about things, even though we both know that she is "wrong". After a while of not really knowing how to deal with it, I decided to just ignore it. I realized that I don't always have to have the last say. When she talks back to me in this way, I just totally drop the subject altogether. It's been working pretty well because the number of times she does this has decreased dramatically. I think that she was just frustrated about being corrected all the time. I keep reminding myself that her tenacity will really pay off for her when she is older!

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M.S.

answers from Miami on

L.,

I really don't have a solution to your problem... and you might be thinking... "why is she responding to this post?". Well, I have a 10 year old with the same situation. I now take her to a therapist. Her therapist says, "Explain to her that its not a crab (in your situation.)If she still insists that it's a crab do NOT make a big issue of it. Don't let her SEE your frustration. Just tell her "sweetie, crabs live near the ocean. we are not close to one. now if you want to "believe" its a crab, then go ahead and think it is."
Basically, don't argue with her. Its a power battle she has with you. She knows that she can say certain things and she feels your frustration. Dont show it to her. DONT. I KNOW, its so hard to not show your frustration...but if she sees that you do not get BLUE in the face. She will eventually give up. It might take a bit..for her to realize what she says sarcastically doesnt bother you anymore, but it worked for me.

I hope the best for u and ur daughter. :)

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H.C.

answers from Orlando on

I used to teach high school and I found that my students would try to interact with me in the same way. After a year of "getting into it" with my students I realized that they were doing it for the attention. Even negative attention is better than none. It is possible that your daughter is doing this because it makes you stay in the conversation with her.

You should disengage from arguing with her. Just say "Okay, so there's a crab on the window, how weird" and then make sure you find time each night to color or read or just talk with her so she doesn't have to act out to get your attention.

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D.G.

answers from Port St. Lucie on

Hi,
Ever since kindergarden stated I have been having the same problem. IF I saw we are having CK for dinner she wants steak...etc. I'm looking for the same advise! Where do you live? Dose your little girl go to public school? I have notice that she is hanging aroung little boys and coming home talking all kinds of crazy things.
Deb

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L.K.

answers from Boca Raton on

I would get a book on "six year olds". There was a series I read years ago by? Gerstel-something like that, she went over deveolpmental stages year by year. Your daughter sounds very imaginative and probably is creative. Your example didn't sound like she was trying to tick you off but I suppose that type of conversation can wear ya down. When my son was in the imagination phase he drove his sister crazy, she constantly would call him a liar,etc because she had hit the "conrete" stage and it really annoyed her. I would remind her of her whoppers that she used to tell so convincingly that I think she believed her own stories. It sounds like a phase but definitely read up on it. It may help you to not feel so irritated. Good luck, LaurieK

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G.L.

answers from Melbourne on

Though my daughter is only three, I remember when my nephew went through that stage.
He is very creative as sees life in a different perspective.
Most likely your daughter knows what she is saying is not real. I agree with the mom that she may want some attention. I also think that is why she says I don't care when you correct her.
This is what we did with my nephew...the next time she says that the spider is a crab...say..really? How did he get there? Do you think he walked here from the ocean or was that rain we had ocean water? See if you can do some imaginative play with her. My nephew always liked trying to imitate the animal.

Of course I am no expert but I think she jus wants to be creative. She also wants to feel like she knows things. I remember this being a hard age because they want to feel smart, but there is not much they are an"expert" on. I agree with the mom who said to get the DK books and reference books. That would be another answer for you. Really you think that is a crab? Why don't you go get your reference book and lets be detectives and see if we can figure it out.

Good Luck!
G

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C.G.

answers from Miami on

hello I am a mother of two and yes it can be hard but if you are trying all that you can and it is not working unfortunately you are going to have to be harder on her or if you let her continue like that it is going to get worst as she get older, give her time out or take something away that she really like and let her understand that you are the mom and what you are saying is correct and for her not to say it is not or she will be in time out. I hope this helps.

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L.V.

answers from Melbourne on

I have 2 girls ages 5 and 8 and they have tried this "game". Your daughter is gaining satisfaction from frustrating you. If you have a pat response and no emotion attached to the response this game will eventually diminish. "I think you have a crab on your window back here" response: You think so? I thought it was a spider. "well, there is water back here on the window so its a crab" response: OK. And quickly change the subject. She can't argue by herself. Sometimes you win a power struggle by doing nothing. She will learn that crabs live in the ocean at school. Or at a nuetral time you could talk about animals and where they live if you feel the need. Goodluck

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T.Q.

answers from Orlando on

L.,

It sounds like your daughter is very bright and needs a little extra mental stimulation. Try to find a hobby for her that requires her to think hard and concentrate. Like word puzzles or activity books. Maybe you could get her some of those DK (Dorling Kindersley) books. They're illustrated reference books. If she likes to "know it all" give her the chance to actually know what she's talking about. www.dk.com

She might also be craving some extra attention. ??? Good luck.

-T.

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