SAHM With Multiple Young Children and Some Advice Please.

i don't have any advice for you but you have my empathy. I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to keep kids of those ages entertained at all time. SAHM's have my utmost respect...Hopefully that will help make you feel better!

My sis's four kids are about your age spread apart. They are older now, but when they were little my sis did make sure they got enough outside play or they would drive her NUTS.
She had a double stroller for the two youngest and would take all kids for a walk with the dog at least twice a day. She also walked the oldest two to school/preschool (again tagging along the younger ones in the double or a single stroller/carrier).
They also had a securely fenced yard, so if it wasn't pouring she let the older two play outside by themselves.
I know it seems a pain, but just get them bundled up and out you go... take a walk in your neighborhood or drive to a park. Just 30 minutes make a huge difference!

I have 7 children. Right now they are 16, 10, 8, 7, 5, 4, 17 months. I know how you feel as I have been there and done that and am still doing it. I try to do this for the cleaning aspect. I try and divide the work into smaller bits and do a little each day. I know that it doesn't make the house clean, but if someone wants to come and see the house then you can make a special effort to get it super clean, otherwise I say excuse them mess as you have lots of help. I divide mine into two parts (because we have an upstairs and downstairs). I have the upstairs to clean on Tuesday and Thursday and then the downstairs gets done on Mon, Wed and Fri. Saturday when all the kids are home, we start upstairs and clean the hole house. Then I feel like I have done some cleaning, and it isn't just going all to heck.
As far as getting out of the house. Well, we try and schedule things for when most of the children are at school. I have 5 in school and 2 at home all day. So when the kids are at school we run errands, go to the library, go for walks, to the park....even just playing outside in our own back yard. I have also used a double stroller for the littler ones to keep them where I want them. If you don't have one, you might want to think about getting one for the younger too. It would make some outings more managable. When the older ones are at home, we still do the same. I have some that are old enough (and responsible enough) that when we go out I can say help me with one of the younger kids. I also make sure that they each have a buddy when we go out. The older ones are paired with a younger sibling that they have to be buddies with while we are in the store. They don't go anywhere without their buddy and they have to make sure they know where the other is so that we don't lose anyone.
I have also learned that we don't try and take marathon outings. We do short bursts and stay while the kids are good, but as soon as things start to take a turn, we are done and head home. I am alone with the kids most of the day as my husband works, so I just do it. If you have to find a room in the house that doesn't matter if it is messy, maybe even their rooms. Let them go and play with the toys. Have it to where they are responsible for the clean up and you aren't going to stress about it being messy. Your children are also old enough that they can start helping with the messes that they make. Have them help you sort their clothes for laundry day, they can put them away, take out the garbage, clean up their toys, put away the dishes in the lower cabinets.....there is a lot that they can do to help too.
Keep your chin up. Know that the messy house just shows that you have a house to live in, that your children have food to eat and all that.
J.--SAHM of 7

Do you have a grade-school girl in your neighborhood (or grade-school sisters?) you can hire for a few bucks an hour after school? That would at least give you a breather before what I call "arsenic hour" - pre-dinner.

If your older two have bikes or tricycles to ride, get out of the house even for a walk around the block. Play "I spy" as you go. The younger two can ride in a stroller or wagon.

Are the "messes" too many toys out All The Time? If yes, put half or two thirds of them in bins in the garage. I've found that my kiddo plays longer with a specific toy (or set - like blocks) if he doesn't have a dozen more other options staring him in the face. Wait a week and then rotate the options.

Do you have music on? It doesn't have to be kid music, either. Holiday tunes or soft classical music in the background makes both me and my kiddo more relaxed. I was surprised to discover that tidbit when he was about 2.

How about an elderly but spritely neighbor? Someone whose grandchildren live far away but might love to come play (or read?) to yours while you take 30 minutes to yourself somewhere else in the house?

I feel fpr you - I get overwhelmed by my singleton occasionally. I used to be a nanny for triplets (started w/ them at 9 months) and then for their surprise sibling (born when the kids were almost 2). It was tough to safely manuever that little group when we were out of the house!

Hoping one or more of these ideas might help a little bit. ~ D.

You definitely have your hands full....I hear ya, I only have two children 6 and 3, but still find it hard to watch them both in a public park, etc..I do it though when I have to...Try and find a park/rec center/mall in your area, that has a nice play area...I know that's not always an option depending on your location...I take it you do have a car. Take advantage of the time your oldest is in school, even if for only a hour or so a day, take them somewhere..Do you have something other than a car seat for the baby to sit in? If not, try to find a used baby bijorn or something, so you can walk around and watch them without having to lug a car seat all over the place..ugh!! Trust me, hangin at these places by yourself with kids is no fun, but maybe you'll meet some other people you can relate to. If not, who cares, just do it for them, they really deserve it, and you'll feel better about your situation and yourself when the day is done....You'll be exhausted whether you stay home or go out, so you might as well do them some good, and maybe yourself as well..Some days, even if it's just small talk with strangers, it still improves my mood....Good luck!! Enjoy your holidays and try to relax..

Oh, honey, I feel your pain. My kids are now 10 and 7, and I still feel like all I do is clean.

Getting out of the house is important--but it can be as simple as a walk or playground outing, like some of the other readers said. If it's too structured, it might be more stress than stress release.

What isn't answered is this: When do YOU have play time? Just you, with a break from the kids. You seem so stressed, and your phrase, "I am just feeling like I don't enjoy my kids very much" suggests you need your own "tank filled," so to speak. It is very common for moms of younger children to seek all sorts of ways to entertain and make their kids happy, yet if you ignore your own needs (for peace and quiet, reading, watching movies, running, or whatever) you will always feel stressed.

I found when I became a mom that I had a TON of interests I loved... and most of them were ignored when the kids were very little. Now I fit in writing every single day, and I find ways to incorporate other interests like theatre and sewing and art into what I do each day. As the kids grow, doing these things will be easier because they will learn to do them as well. My daughter and I both sew now, and I am giving both kids weekly piano lessons, so all three of us are playing piano. I am about to enroll with my daughter in painting lessons, too, since that is one of her interests.

Even if it's only 30 minutes a day, is there some time you can squeeze out just for yourself? And can you ignore the unswept floor for those 30 minutes, and do something you love?

Good luck to you! I hope you find a good balance for yourself and your kids.

Our kids played outside a lot and enjoyed it and inside they played together with lego, fisher price, played house, etc. I had no car back then so I was home all the time pretty much. You can find things for them to do like help you and most kids your children's ages like to help. Then when the little ones nap do something you enjoy like read or whatever you need to do to take some of the stress off you. It's going to get better...then worse...then better as they grow up. :-) Enjoy them because they grow fast and when I think back on the long days they now seem so very short.

Man do I hear you, sister! What has helped me is having a schedule and having an outing every day that lasts around an hour or so so that the kids get out and get excercise but then come home and I don't have to play chauffeur. I also lean on my husband for help with the house and I have the kids clean up one mess before they can make another-- I keep the toys out of reach so that they can't get them until they've cleaned the first mess and i approve and give them the next toy.

I SO understand what oyu're going through. I'm muddling through it myself. Good luck!

My twins are 3 and my baby is five months. My husband is home with them during the day and I'm home at night. I completely understand the getting out of the house thing. It's a lot of work to get all three of mine out the door! However, as hard as it is, I just do it at least one night a week. They're going stir-crazy as am I. We go to bouncy places, McDonald's play place, the YMCA. Even though it's hard, it keeps me sane. Try going out just once a week. It will help tons, especially if you do it during the day when two are in school.

In my opinion, 4 kids is SOOO much harder than 3. I had three down, and thought it was easy. I had heard after that, each additional child was no big deal. Boy, does 4 have me completely overwhelmed (ages 6, 4, 2, 1). AS hard as it is, try to take them to places you don't have to corral them (library is definitely out) such as a park, indoor bounce house, playground. If you dn't get out, everyone is going to go stir crazy.

As far as messes: the older two are definitely big enough to clean up after themselves (the 2 year old can even do some stuff). If you are at home, just take a break every hour and have everyone pick up the toys, dishes, etc. so that it doesn't all fall on you.

You could check if there is a MOPS group near you. It is Mothers of Preschoolers and the website is www.mops.org. You will meet a local group of moms who you can get advice and help on how to manage with your little ones. The meetings are twice a month and there is free childcare. You will definitely benefit from getting out of the house, and from getting the support you need.

I have 3 and they are 4, 2, and 1. Its a zoo. I used to be obsessive/comp about a clean house. Now I do what I can. As long as it doesnt look like a disaster zone I am good. I try to get the kids out for 3 to 4 hours a day. Out to the park, the library, we have a year membership to the childrens museum, we do art projects even the little one. not every single day but I try. There are times, like you I just feel all I do is clean. There are days I want to just sleep. I just keep plowing forward as best I can! I love staying at home but some days I wonder what it would be like to work as well

I think maybe you are feeling a bit of Post Partum Depression and a little overwhelmed with 4 kids so young. You have had 4 kids in about 7 yrs and your body needs time to recover. Your hormones have been up-down --up down almost constantly for 7 yrs so don't let it get to you. The 5 and 6 yr old can pick up after themselves and the 2 yr old can learn from them to pick up. They can keep toys off the floor and dirty clothes in the laundry basket daily. The 5 & 6 yr old can help set the table and clear it and put plastic dishes and pot and pans away.
As far as taking them out the 3 older ones can hold hands as you walk into the library and Y or find another Mom with maybe one child and ask her to help you haul the kids in and out. To re-pay her you could provide snacks for her and her child.
The biggest thing to remember is a happy messy home is better then an unhappy clean home.
My parents built a new home and we moved into it when I was 8. It was always very clean. Even though we only moved a half mile it was a huge change for me (long story). My dad didn't allow friends. So I lived in a very clean brand new home and I was miserable.
My house is comfortablly messy and over 100 yrs old and I am much happier.