Sahm's, Do You Still Get up with Your Husbands in the School Holidays?

I just read this to my husband and he said " he is a whimp and needs a mommy"my hubbies words !!!
But I must agree,I want a man who is able to make his own sandwich and wouldn't make me feel guilty for sleeping in, rather saying, honey...get some rest :)
In 18 years of marriage, I made him 5 sandwiches...

I will take any chance I can to sleep in. I don't make hubbys breakfast or lunch unless he is home for those meals.

I never get up with my husband. He gets up at about 5-530 am. Toast the bread and it won't get soggy.

I think that it's nice that you get up with him and make his lunch if you do it BECAUSE YOU WANT TO. It's not your job and by no means are you obligated to either get up with him or make his lunch. He can make his own lunch every now and again in recognition of the fact that you are nice enough to do it regularly. If you're already packing for the kids, it makes sense for you to pack lunch for him too out of kindness - but if you're not doing it for them anyway, his expectation that you drag yourself out of bed to slap together some lunch is ridiculous.

That said, I can count on one hand the number of times I have made my husband breakfast OR lunch, and that's only if we're home in the "hey I'm making a chicken salad sandwich do you want one" spirit. My husband is a grown man who can feed himself and get himself off to work, just like I'm a grown woman who can do the same.

.

Tell your husband to be a big boy for one day.

No really this is funny to me. I am not even a stay at home mom but on the days I have my kids I actually get to sleep an extra hour. I would look at Troy like he was insane if he wanted me to get up with him anyway. Making lunch? sweet mother no grown man needs his lunch made.

What is this? Misery loves company? You don't deserve a break unless he ALSO gets one? Your job isn't as important as his? Seriously, who isn't THRILLED when their spouse gets a chance to rest and recoup? My husband and I both work hard... but we have different jobs. He's often a major jerk, but he's also ***finally*** gotten enough respect for my work to be happy for me when I get a break / tries to "protect it" for me. I know I'm happy for HIM when he gets a break!

Pshaw.

If I don't HAVE to get up in the morning, durn straight I'm going to sleep in.

I'm SO sorry he values soggy sandwiches over your happiness... and that you aren't worth spending 3 minutes of his own time in the morning. And yeah. Print this out and show it to him. You get a chance to sleep in and he says "No. You don't. You have to make my sandwich." SERIOUSLY??? That sure shows a lot of gratitude for the kindness you show him every OTHER morning. Talk about not only be taken for granted, but reduced to "this is your JOB to feed me" rather than the KINDNESS that it is. Sheesh. Where's the man's testosterone? He can't even protect his wife's SLEEP?

::snort:laugh::

My husband makes his own sandwiches. He never cooks so if he wants a sandwich for lunch he can make it his own precious self. I try to cook suppers so that there's enough to pack up for one or two lunches in Gladware containers for him to bring the next day and heat up at work. He gets some pretty good lunches that way.

If you posted that your husband had said that on school vacation days he'd like for you to get up with him so that he could still spend time with you in the mornings before he leaves for work I would have been totally on his side. :-) Because that would have been sweet and romantic.

Um, gee, he is a grown-up.
You- can sleep in
He can make his own lunch.
He can wake up on his own.
He is a grown man. Not a kid.

I am a SAHM. I sleep in when I can/want to. My Husband will then, be with the kids if they wake before me. They usually do. HE makes his own lunch/breakfast/coffee in the morning.
He is a grown up.
He can, do that.
NOR does he, tell me I 'have to' wake up with him and make his lunch/breakfast for him.

IF my kids wake before me... which they usually do, THEY know, to be quiet and do quiet things. They know, not to wake me. They are good about that. My kids are 4 and 8 years old.

I think, it is RIDICULOUS... that your Husband is telling you that.
He is not a child.
He can and should, do it himself.

I am not a 'bad' SAHM, just because my husband can and does, his own lunch/breakfast or coffee.
I take care of EVERYTHING in the house anyway. Daily. 24/7.
I wake up with my son at all hours too, since he is sick now.
The least my Husband can do, his basic hygiene and feeding himself.
And he does.
Without grumbling.
Without whining.
And without critiquing me for it.

I do a LOT of things with and for my Husband, BUT... he can and does do, his basic hygiene and feeding himself in the morning and lunches per work. He is a grown up.

Put it this way: my kids are 4 and 8. THEY can and know how, to make their own eggs, and how to warm things up in the microwave and my daughter can make her own Pillsbury croissants. ALL by herself. They know what is in the kitchen, where it is, and what they can eat. I teach them, how. I teach them independence. I teach them, how to be self-directed. And sure, it gives them confidence and a sense of mastery.
I supervise, of course... they are working on the stove and oven.
AND my kids, can make their own, SANDWICHES too.

If my kids can do that... your HUSBAND, can certainly, do his own lunches.
Tell your Husband, that.

I dont understand why you make your husband's lunch. Even when I was home I never made my husband's.

I am sorry, but for this 1 day he can make his own sandwich? I bet he is a big boy and can figure it out.

You deserve to have a holiday just like anyone else.. Or can he go out for lunch? leave him a $10. bill as a treat.. Or could you and the kids met up for lunch with him like a picnic?

My husband is the opposite, he has always told me to stay asleep. He takes care of his own lunches.. Or apologizes for waking me up, if I get up to make his coffee or lunch. I tell him he did not wake me up, I wanted to spend a little time with him..

Sorry, but, I am not liking your husband right now. I am sure otherwise he is great, but he sounds like a selfish arse..

Um....my husband is a grown man and he's "in charge" of his own lunches (and breakfasts for that matter!) and I'm not a "bad wife" by any means!

Buy him some "lunchables." All the kids are eating them these days. :)

i don't even get out of bed before he leaves the house. he gets up, showers, dresses, and kisses me goodbye, all while i am laying in bed. do we talk for a few minutes? sure. but he would never expect me to get up, make his lunch and wave him out the door if i didn't have to be up otherwise. that is selfish. if he wants conversation, he can conversate with you sitting up in bed. then he can drive off, and you lay right back down.

I didn't read all the responses, but my first reaction is, "OH HELL NO!"

Did he get up with me every 2 hours when I was nursing? Does he stay up late when I'm finishing up dishes, bills, laundry, vacuuming, letting the dogs out, writing a note to the teacher, helping with homework, cleaning a toilet after a sick kid, ironing, sitting on the phone with a loved one going through a hard time, I'm sure I'm missing MANY things. I'll make his sandwich the night before or he can make his own.

Personally, I do this for my husband, He gets up about 5am each morning and so do I. I think its nice to connect before he goes to work and I make sure he has a lunch packed---even if I make it the night before, I still get up. I think if you are a stay at home mom, its more supportive to get up with your spouse and see them off for the day. Thats just my opinion----Not saying anyone else has to agree-

Um, heck no. Just like my husband didn't get up every time I breastfed our daughters. It's lovely that you make your husband's lunch. But on days that you're busy -- or just need to sleep in -- he can certainly do it himself. (unless he's missing his hands or something, of course) =)

Get up like you normally do and send him off, pinch his butt and say "haha, I get to go back to bed now" with a silly tone and a big smile :)
Seriously, you know you are gonna wake up anyway. Send him off in a proud way... so he can be happy he has you. That's the best thing.

My husband never expects me to get up. He knows I will be up with the kids to do "my job" while he is at work. "My job" just starts a little later during the summer. He does not take a lunch to work, but the night before we set up the coffee maker to begin to brew at 6am when he gets up. He makes a to go cup of coffee to take with him to work. During the school days I make his coffee because I am already awake and making the kids lunches and getting them ready. Honestly, I would not be happy if he still wanted me to get up and make his coffee.

Just remind your husband about your "job" responsibilities once he is out of the house. You will be with the kids 24/7 and sleeping in a little longer is not a lot to ask for.

Good grief. This reminds me of a couple with whom my parents are good friends. They're all retired, and my parents and the wife like to travel together. The husband does not. An opportunity came up for my parents and the wife to go to South America and the Galapagos Islands for 12 days. The husband said to his wife, well I guess it's ok if you go, but I expect you to have breakfast, lunch and dinner in the freezer for me for the 12 days you are gone. She dutifully fulfilled his request by purchasing a couple loaves of bread, a jar of peanut butter and a jar of jelly, and made 36 pb&j's that she froze individually.

She and my parents had a wonderful trip.

Absolutely not. My husband can make his own lunch if he wants it made in the morning. I make my kids lunches at night, so if he wants one, I'll make his at the same time. More often than not he wants leftovers, so it's super easy But I think it's insane for your hubby (a grown man) to not make his own sandwich. Your kids deserve you at your best, and that involves a little sleep!

Added - I don't stay home now per say, but when I was a SAHM, I would have answered the same.

I haven't read any of the answers you've gotten so far, but for my 2 cents: your husband is being inconsiderate. If this is your one chance to sleep in, why wouldn't he want you to do that? Honestly, if the man can hold a job and he doesn't like a soggy sandwich, he can make it himself. There's no great mystery to making a sandwich for goodness sake! I might be accused of doing too much for my husband once in a while (as in I take pride in providing him with home cooked meals every night and anything else he wants/needs). He, in turn, knows that I need my sleep and will gladly let me sleep in whenever it's possible. I, in turn, and not usually too tired for "adult time" later in the night (one hand washes the other so to speak). Sooooo. . . tell your husband he can have a non-soggy sandwich OR a well rested wife who might be energetic enough later in the evening for some "adult time". My guess is he'll make his own sandwich. Men aren't that stupid.

I make my hubby's breakfast and lunch before he goes to work. I prefer getting up with hubby but if you don't, maybe you could go back to bed after he leaves.

I'd say let him take leftover pasta from the night before or something. I am a SAHM and I NEVER get up when my husband leaves for work. I get his lunch ready for him the night before EVERY night. On a sandwich day, I get the sandwich materials ready for him. He toasts his sandwich at work and puts it together himself. I have also recently started getting the coffee ready for him the night before and setting it on a timer so he has coffee to take with him in the car at 6 am.

Sometimes I will still get up with my husband and sometimes I don't. He's perfectly fine with making his own lunch if I don't. I don't think your hubby understands that us SAHM's aren't on vacation all day every day. Our job is 24/7 with our children/family. Instead of making him a sandwich the night before (which I agree with him....they do get soggy if made the night before), make a meal that night that will be good for leftovers and pack that for him and leave it in the frig, and all he'll have to do is grab and go. :-D And you get to sleep in. YAY! :-) That's what I do for my hubby. Green Chili Stew is great left overs, spaghetti, any pasta dish, Chili beans, etc. just to give you some ideas. :-D

I have pretty much always gotten up w/my husband, it's kind of our own time together before the day gets crazy. There have been times when he's gotten used to some really great breakfasts then gotten nothing but a bowl of cereal for breakfast, but just the time together is nice because he works a rotating shift & a p/t job so things can get kind of crazy. Plus you throw in 2 girls who fight over their dad's attention & i never get a chance to spend any time w/him! Another reason is because it gives me a chance to show my appreciation to him for all he does for our family - true i do a bunch too, but he's been battling cancer the past 3 1/2 years and he just doesn't give up. People make fun of me b/c i use that whole soggy sandwich line too, but it's true - if i make something for dinner that he can have for lunch the next day, it's a bonus, but i don't try too hard to make it way too convenient for me - to me he deserves a little more then that! Same goes for dinner, my SIL can't understand why i worry about getting home to make dinner if we are out (she's divorced w/no children) & i tell her that i enjoy fussing but she looks at me like i'm crazy b/c he's a big boy & she thinks it's crazy that i pamper him.

I guess I am lucky. Hubby goes to work around 5:45-6:30 (it all depends on where he works - construction worker). He never expects me to get up with him, today he didn't work (he worked for the past 6 days) and he let me sleep in.

You are not being a bad wife, cause if you are then I am the most horrible one out there. I don't make him his sandwiches, he makes those on his own normally the night before and he doesn't have any problems with them, or if I make too much for supper (meat wise) he takes that with him and eats it cold.

LOL...sorry, couldn't help but chuckle at how wussy some men are. Looks like you have an extra baby in the house!

When I was on (extended) maternity leaves when my sons were born, my husband would INSIST that I stay in bed and rest if the baby was still sleeping. Some mornings I'd wake up with him because I was awake; some I didn't. I enjoyed our quiet mornings together, eating Cheerios and discussing the morning paper. But, never in a million years would he ask me to get up to make him sandwiches. If I was up, I would do it because it made me feel good to be all home-maker-y and send him off to work happy and well-fed.

Fast forward to when our children were school age. I would usually still get up with him because it was easier to keep my regular school schedule than be tired for a week as I readjusted (I'm a teacher). During summer, I would wake up, make him breakfast--because I wanted to, not the other way around--and do my morning chores before my sons woke up.

I guess my husband and I see things a little differently. If we have the opportunity to let the other sleep and rest, we take advantage of it. If the other wishes to be up for wonderful, alone time, well, that's a good thing, too. But, we rarely make demands; it's always a request. Time grudgingly given is not pleasant.

Good luck. I hope your hubby grows up soon.

I was a stay at home mom the first 6 months of my daughter's life and only got up with him when his alarm would wake my daughter up lol. I would've laughed if he wanted me to wake up with him and make sandwiches. Your hubby is not a baby and is very capable of making his own sandwiches. On the weekends my exhusband used to sleep in while I got up with the baby (not to mention all during the night) so no I wouldn't have got up with him. Your not being a bad wife... he should be more understanding about what you do around the house and be a big boy and make a sandwich allllll by himself lol. There are other ways to make him feel special. It's not like your going to demand him to wake up with you for every little thing. If it was the other way around, would HE do the same thing? I seriously doubt it.

My ex had serious issues but he did encourage me to sleep in. We'd wake up to his obnoxious alarm and cuddle for a bit while snooze is on. He'd get up and do his own thing then come back and kiss me goodbye if I wasn't up with the baby. If I was we'd hang out before he left but I didn't make him lunch or anything, we'd just hang out and enjoy each others company. One of his few positive qualities lmao.

There is no reason for you to get up to make him lunch and I am pretty surprised he would ask you to do that, pretty inconsiderate of him. If the sandwiches are "soggy" just pack whatever makes them soggy (mayo, mustard, jam whatever) is a separate container and let him add that to the sandwiches when he has lunch. I make my husband's lunch the night before and from talking to many of my friends, that is more than enough.

wow, I'm not telling my husband about you. I never, ever get up with my husband. Weekday, weekend, holiday it doesn't matter. If he wakes up he gets out of bed and goes downstairs or goes to work. Whenever I get up I get up unless I hear the kids up then I get up with them. To not make me sound like a bum I am the one that gets up anytime a kid needs something in the night and I'm breastfeeding so I have to be the one to get up over and over. So I figure I'm on call all night I should get to sleep in a little.
I don't make his lunch, he's a big boy he can figure out lunch. Heck no one makes me lunch. There are some days I don't eat lunch because I'm too tired after taking care of kids all day. I do make dinner for every one though, and my husband usually just takes left over dinner for lunch.
You are too nice :)

Well, since I worked for 2.5 years and never expected my husband to get up at six to make my lunch, why would he expect me to get up early just to make his lunch? Why force him to wake up for that reason only, when I'm already awake and perfectly capable of making my own lunch? Does your husband think you'll sleep in until noon and slack off all day long just because the kids aren't in school? Does he not consider what you do all day, every day for him and the kids work? Do you not deserve that small break of extra sleep before gettting up and doing all the housework and spending all day with the children?

Whenever my husband had to get up for an early shift, I would make him a lunch the night before, something that he could heat up when he's at work. If your husband doesn't want a sandwich made the night before because it would be soggy, you can make him something else. Sometimes I would get up early and make lunch for my husband before he left, but only if I was planning on waking up early anyway. If not, I would always make it the night before.

Would you mind making my lunch, too?

I'm sorry, but that is just ridiculous. Sleep in. He is asking way too much. He should be THRILLED that you usually make his lunch. If you want to sleep in one day, he should be extra quiet and let you sleep as late as you like. If you enjoy making his lunches, do it whenever you like, but he is fully capable of making his lunch tomorrow. Enjoy the holiday!

I sleep in WHENEVER possible, my husband works out of town so when hes in town he sleeps in too`.

btw new research is showing that people that get heir full nights rest, smile more, do more during the day,have longer marriages, better eating habits and weigh less!

hit the pillows ladies!

I find it a little sad that he would want you to get up because he has to. He sounds like a little kid. I cook for my husband and girls every single day. I love to take care of my family but my husband would never want me to get up in the morning if I don't have a good reason. He is so sweet and goes out of his way so I can occasionally sleep in. A loved one is supposed to want to take care of you in small ways that make your life easier and more pleasant. My hubby loves to do little things like that for me just like I do for him but it should never be imposed or expected.

I have been getting up when my husband gets up for well over 35 years now. Sure there are days I dont, but its rare for me to sleep past 5am anyway so I might as well get up and do something constructive. Years ago I did make his lunch while he showered and dressed, and kissed him bye at the door. He stopped taking lunch with him quite a few years ago so thats not an issue now. But I would make it if he was taking one with him. But I get the coffee ready each night, and he gets up at 5am and pushes the button and then showers and gets dressed. I get up about then, walk to the kitchen and I even put the creamer in his travel mug, put the top on and open the door and kiss him bye. I have probably stayed in bed half dozen times in a year. i\If I was up most of the night and just went back to bed and he knows how hard it is for me to sleep so he leaves me sleeping. I give him a bad time when he comes home at night for not kissing me bye that day, and he owes twice then. He knows how to make his own lunch, his own coffee and can cook but I prefer to do that small loving thing for him. I dont feel used, abused or taken advantage of. He doesnt need me to do these things but I know he likes it. Im not his M. and Im not acting like his M., Im acting like the type of wife I want to be. When he gets up at 3am to go on a business trip I gladly get up and see him off, or take him to the airport. One morning at 3am, he was going to go fishing with a neighbor and we were both standing out by the curb when the neighbor came out. The guy looked at us, and asked,, "gee are you guys newly weds? My wife hasnt seen me off on a fishing trip in 20 years." Well maybe she should. Maybe more wives should. I dont think we are babying our husbands. We are just loving them and letting them know they matter to us. Maybe there wouldnt be so many divorces if more spouses treated eachother nicer and with more thoughtfulness. And yes he does things like this for me too. He will make lunch if he sees Im busy with other things. He cooks dinner when Im gone for whatever reason. Sure it might be a take n bake pizza but when Ive been gone for 15 hours working my booth at a craft fair and I broke down the booth,loaded the car and brought it all home by myself it is like heaven to walk in to the aroma of pizza coming out of the oven. He went with me plenty of times and drove, towing a trailer, set up, broke down, loaded and helped me at fairs also, when he could have been off playing golf. He loves me and this is one way he shows me. I love him and if getting up early or making him lunch is one small way I can show him that love then Im going to keep doing it. By the way, He gets to work so early that he makes the big pot of coffee that rest of the office gets when they show up at 8am.

My husband makes his own lunch. Never in a million years would he expect me to make his lunches for him, let alone get up so early in the morning for that one reason. So sorry, but your husband needs to grow up and make his own lunches this summer.

Updated

My husband makes his own lunch. Never in a million years would he expect me to make his lunches for him, let alone get up so early in the morning for that one reason. So sorry, but your husband needs to grow up and make his own lunches this summer.

I know you have alot of responses already and I am sure I am a repeat, BUT....I get up with my hubby everyday and make coffee and breakfast (ranging from a bagel to a breakfast burrito)and pack his lunch, fill water bottles whatever. This morning I even helped him swap some tools from one vehicle to another. I want to do these things for him. They make his day better. I want him to think of me as helpful and supportive. He doesn't expect me to do any of this. The best part is though I get about 15 minutes between him leaving and the kids getting up, lol. Oh I get up at 5:30 everyday. My dh is out the door by 6:30.

Um he's a grown man. He can make his own damn sandwiches. My ex thought i should do that for him too. I told him i wasn't his mommy.

I have the same dilemma at my house. I am usually awake when he's up anyway and I feel kind of guilty just staying in bed so most of the time I get up and make his breakfast and his lunch for the day. Sometimes I don't though if I just really don't feel like it he never says anything when I don't. My kids usually sleep a little bit later when they have no school so its also a good opportunity for a little extra kid free time with him.Sometimes I go back to bed after he leaves and sometimes I use it as just quiet time. I think your hubby is probably perfectly capable of making his own sandwiches but maybe it just makes him feel more loved or something LOL husbands are just big kids. I am assuming he isn't like demanding you get up or anything like that. My hubby always says lunches just taste better when I make them. ...who can say no to that?

I think it's really sweet that he wants you be up with him...and I'm thinking the soggy sandwich is just an excuse to have a little time with you before he leaves for the day.

I used to get up with my hubs, but not anymore. I do so infrequently, and he loves it when I'm up to make him his favorite easy over eggs and a cup of tea. He just sits there and smiles at me that I'm up with him.

If you think it's just about the sandwich, I would package the wet things separately the night before...if you think you'll want to sleep in the next morning.

Hope you figure out a compromise.

I'm so laughing right now I have never gotten up with my husband nor made his sandwiches for him.Oh your such a good wife I guess i'm the bad one.

I don't make my husband's lunch for him. He knows where the sandwich meat and bread are and is over 30 years old, so I assume he knows how to make a sandwich. I will do things like that for him if he's in a rush or every once in awhile, but I don't get up with him every day to make his lunch and send him out the door like he's catching the bus for school or something. I hope this doesn't make ME a bad wife! I guess I'll have to read your responses to see if I'm in the minority. I suppose it depends on your husband and what he's accustomed to. Mine has never asked me to do those things for him, so it never crossed my mind to do it. I guess if yours is asking, then maybe you should either kindly explain that you need a little R&R or appease him and then go back to bed, like you said. Good luck! Sounds like one spoiled hubby! :-)

Ask him what he REALLY wants. If he likes to spend a few minutes with you before he goes to work I would find that sweet and try to get up with him (most) days.
If he just wants you to make his sandwich I would just keep the fridge stocked, he's perfectly capable of making his own lunch :(

My husband is a grown man perfectly capable of making his own sandwiches. He would never dream of asking me to get up with him, and encourages me to lay in as long as the kids will allow. This is not the 50s and my man does not expect me to do things for him he can easily do.

on weekends and holidays I get up when my kids get up. Today they didn't wake up until 8am!! It was sooo nice sleeping in! I make my husbands lunch the night before because he takes left overs from dinner.

Here's what I would suggest to him:
put all of the bread 'fixins' in one baggie and then the bread in another - that way the bread does not get soggy. He can then put a sticky by his wallet reminding him of his 'big boy' lunch in the refridgerator that he made all by himself.

Im a sahm and my huband goes in around 2-4 am everyday.. I make his lunch nite before (if he doesn't like it o well) anyhow he used to have me get up to lock the door after him when left in the morning. When I would get up for 5 mins to let him out I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. Therefore, he can let hisself out nowadays!

I'll get his lunch together if I'm up (my kids are all over the place with their wake-up times), but he usually takes leftovers anyways. And sometimes I'll make him breakfast....but he'll do the same for me - on weekends - if he knows I've had a rough night with the baby. Neither of us *expects* the other to do these things, nor would we think of demanding them. We do nice things for each other because we want to.

It sounds like there's more to this than the issue of soggy sandwiches.
He may be thinking that early in the morning would be a good time for you to have some quiet time if evenings are hectic with the kids and it's hard to find that time any other way. He may be thinking that everyone gets a break and gets to sleep in except for him. He still has to get up and go off to the "salt mines" every day.
But, if it's a matter of you having to be up because HE has to be and he wants you making his lunch to show that you're the dutiful wife....I would be wondering about that.
With my first baby, I was up super early. I used that time to go over bills, write letters, I quietly puttered while my baby slept. I took care of other kids during the day. When we moved, that went out the window. My husband liked his time in the morning. He got up, made his coffee, watched the news, went over planning things for his day at work. I had another baby and he was quiet because he didn't want to wake the kids up.
He was very controlling in many ways and we're not married anymore because of it, but he never expected me to get up and make his breakfast or his lunch or anything like that. I put things together for him the night before. He's a morning person. I'm not.
Obviously during school, I was up getting the kids dressed and fed, mornings were very busy. But, during vacation days, we didn't need to be up so early and like I said, my husband enjoyed being up by himself and having quiet time before he left.
Like I said, I don't think this is really about soggy sandwiches. I think you're just going to have to come right out and ask him what the issue is.
No, I don't think you're a bad wife. I don't think you should think that either.

Best wishes.

Perhaps he just wants to chill with you, but feels stupid saying so? Maybe it's a lonely morning just going through the routine?
I get up and fix his breakfast while he's in the shower, and pack his lunch while he irons his shirt (because I don't iron!). We eat breakfast together, he drinks his hot tea and I drink my hot cider. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we just hold hands and watch a few minutes of the morning news before he leaves. It's sweet. I don't "have to" fix his lunch, I fix it because I love him and I like to leave occasional surprises (a note, a surprise treat, a little gift the boys made, whatever, hidden in his lunchbox). Also, if I didn't fix lunch, he wouldn't mind---he'd just buy lunch. And I don't like that, because I'm "in charge" of the budget and packing lunches is a huge money saver for us. Sometimes if I'm not feeling well or have had a bad night with the kids (my youngest has trouble with his ears right now), he will say no way, go back to bed. He'll sneak in real quietly and give me a kiss and stroke my hair out of my face, then sneak out again. But wanting to get up and spend some time with him, starting the day TOGETHER instead of separately and alone....it makes a huge difference in how the day goes, to me at least. We also make a point of going to the porch and waving bye and blowing kisses, which makes him laugh. When we hear the garage door open, we do stop what we're doing momentarily to greet him and give hugs and kisses. Then I go back to what I'm doing (busy time of evening for me) and he takes the boys upstairs and talks to them while changing clothes--that gets them out of my hair and lets them feel special too. I don't understand the big deal with hanging out for 45 minutes or so and showing some love, and going back to bed later. Or taking 45 minutes a little later for the kids to play and you to veg on the couch or whatever. I'm as busy as anyone (much more busy than many) but I can still find some downtime during the day.

Get up with your man. He is obviously struggling with the fact that he still has to get up and work. So I would definitely get up with him and make his sandwiches. Put a love note in his bag. Or better yet, wake up a few minutes before him and *wake him up* if you know what I mean. That way instead of feeling resentful and blue that you have the day off with the kids, he will have a smile on his face all day long. And you can always go back to bed.

VickiS

You know what? I just went and read everyone else's answers and I'm a little stunned at how everyone seems to think that a wife shouldn't make her husband's lunch. Of course he can do it. Of course his is capable. But this isn't about being a wife or being a woman blah-blah-blah. This is about being a spouse who does things for the other spouse to make them feel special. We all have different needs to feel loved. We all have different ways of showing we are loved. If making your husband's lunch makes him feel loved/special/cared for, then it is worth doing for him. It is showing him you appreciate him and care about him. It makes him think about you at his lunch time. It is such a little way to show your love. I know that you were not complaining about making his lunch, I guess I was just shocked at how many people were complaining about you having to make his lunch. You don't have to...but by doing so, you are telling him so much. I say...more power to you for taking the time and effort to make your husband's lunch. Good for you.

We dont have to get up that early in our house but I always get up with my husband in the morning because I feel guilty that he has to get up in the mornings to go off to work to make the money while I lay in bed. He is an awesome husband though because if I ever have the chance he always tells me to take it and to stay in bed but I just cant. Plus I like the family and quality time in the mornings that we have together. Life is too short, and there will be plenty of time to sleep when Im dead
Good Luck

Hi Allison,

A few months ago we got a coffee press to make our coffee. It makes the best coffee ever but it's completely manual and I also have a separate kettle that needs to heat the water to make the coffee. So before all my husband had to do was push a button and he walked out the door. Well there's no way he'll go through the trouble to mess with the coffee press so I wake up at 5:30 and make the coffee each morning. I also prepare his breakfast and lunch for the day. He takes cereal to go. Most mornings i don't want to wake up either, but I love doing things for my husband that start his day off on the right foot. I'll also pour myself a cup and then go soak in the tub for 20 mins before I start exercising. If I'm really tired that day, I've woken up early and gotten my chores done already so I can afford to take a nap :). My son is 2 1/2 so he's not in school yet, everyday is the same to me.
I liked the Mom's response that said do things for your husband that would make him miss you if you weren't there. That's a motto I could live by!
My husband takes a protein drink from Bolthouse Farms. They are yummy and filling. Would your hubby consider something like that? It's quick and easy! Good luck!

My hubby tries to eat healthy and likes spinach salad with hard boiled eggs and chopped veggies. It seriously takes 30 minutes to chop everything up I swear. I do it the night before while I'm making dinner. But now that I think about it I haven't made him one in 3 weeks! We have two girls 5 and 2 and a 3 month old baby and I get up to feed and change him during the night so the hubby can sleep. I'm up before him unless he gets up early to go workout before work. But if I am lucky enough to GET to sleep in once in while it makes him happy. Most days that I do make him a lunch to take to work he forgets it anyways! Before we had 3 kids I remember getting up at 5:30 am and making him some lunch but I never had to. But I guess I'm pretty lucky to have a man that doesn't demand I make him breakfast , coffee (which he doesn't drink), and lunch for work. Once in a great while I have a hard time getting any dinner ready and he's always cool about it. Maybe when the kids are older and in school when I have to be up anyways I'd be better at it, but its a little too crazy right now.

Wow, this one has touched a nerve or two!

What I see and hear from this post is that your Hubby is essentially /demanding/ that you get up and make his sandwiches regardless of all else while you are looking for a few extra zzzzzs. This boils down to a respect and consideration issue. Sometimes when someone does something for you repeatedly without being asked, it becomes expected and looses its meaning. I think this is what has happened here.

I would look for a compromise. Tell him that you love him very much and that you enjoy making his lunches (I am assuming this is true...) but that you could use a little extra rest one or two days during the week. Tell him why you need this rest - is the baby keeping you up at night? Are there more errands to do now that school is out? Maybe the changing weather is hitting you hard? - Whatever. Then see if he can compromise with leftovers packed the night before or a "build your own" sandwich with all the pieces in seperate baggies so things don't get soggy. I would avoid the "you're a big boy" routine - that just cheapens the conversation and makes this like two little kids bickering. Also, he needs to understand that you can't really nap later since you are caring for the kids (my 4YO doesn't nap, so I am not lucky enough to "catch up" later!!).

I typically pre-pack my Hubby's dinners on Friday and Saturday nights (he works Saturdays and Sundays) because it makes his morning and mine a little easier. I need to pack away the leftovers anyway so this extra step is not really "extra". I do this not because it is expected but because I love him AND I know it is /appreciated/. How do I know??? Because he THINKS about my needs as well and will do things like handle the kids before he leaves so I can catch an extra hour or make breakfast for the whole family or whatever.

A marraige is a two-way street and I think that is what has a lot of folks ruffled - sounds very one sided.

Good luck.
~C.

Umm, I can't believe you make his lunch for him. If he doesn't want a soggy sandwich, tell him to make it himself. I'm not a SAHM, but if I was I sure wouldn't be fixing my husband's lunch. My husband was a SAHD for a year and a half and I still made my own lunches.

You are able to be a SAHM because your husband works hard for you and his family. I would get up and make his sandwhich. You have all day to take a nap.

In almost 9 years of marriage, I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have made my husband's lunch. Before we got married, he had to make his own lunch for work. For the first 4 years, I also worked and was responsible for making my own lunch for work, as was he. I don't recall my husband ever making my lunch. He's an adult and capable of making his own sandwich. That's sweet if you enjoy making his lunch. He is being selfish and should enjoy the opportunity to spoil you by letting you sleep in occasionally (and dare I say have breakfast ready for you?!). I hope you got to sleep in this morning!

During the school year, I wake up at 6 and my husband wakes up at 7. At 7:30 I make his breakfast. During the summer, he still gets up at 7, I sleep til 7:30. I prepare a container of fresh fruit to take with him, and he'll also bring a container of yogurt. I care about him and want to make sure he gets something healthy. If I can't make his breakfast that morning he buys fast food on the way to work.

I don't have to, but if he wanted me to get up and do something for him I would.

My husband works very hard so I can stay at home so whatever he needs me to do I will do.

You're not a bad wife at all for that, he can make his own sandwiches.
Even though it's summer break now I like to get up and get the day going so I ask if he wants to take some lunch that day and if so I make it. (His company orders them lunch quite frequently and other times his department has potlucks.) One thing that could help you guys is slicing up the veggies and putting them plus the bread in individual stay fresh containers and putting them in his lunch bag the night before or he can just select the containers himself in the morning. HTH

I get up and make coffee each morning for him. Yes our maker has a timer but its just my way of saying good morning and seeing him off to work. Most days I lay on the couch and watch the news til the kids get up or I sometimes go straight back to bed. On the days he takes his lunch I will make it that morning. Yes, they are able to make their own lunch but why should they have to if we are home? They are getting up and working for the family and we get the option of going back to bed. My husband is the one who says "stay in bed, dont get up." Its my few minutes with him before he is gone for the day.