I 2nd "Isntthisfun" regarding the Subaru.
My husband just bought a Forester last night, after doing extensive reviews on all vehicles for the last month. In addition to high high safety ratings, they are also known for outstanding longevity in their engines, which was a key component to his decision.
We bought used, & managed to get a manual 2010 with under 60K for only $16K. That was through a dealer. We attempted to buy private party (always cheaper), however, to get something newer we needed to have full cash (no financing). Even looking at older models with high mileage, they are in hot demand. 4 sold on one day before my husband was even able to go look @ them.
Other highly rated vehicles for safety are Volvo, however, they do not get as good gas mileage as the Subaru, due to the turbo engines & AWD. (Subaru managed to make an AWD vehicle that still gets 20/26)
The other nice thing about the Subaru Forester, is that even though it is an SUV type vehicle, it still sits lower than most SUV's, making it less prone to roll-over. They do have a brand-new model, Cross-something I think. We did not test drive it, because we couldn't afford something brand new, but it is also a more rugged SUV-type style that you might want to look into.
Regarding the mini-vans, the two highly rated minivans are the Toyota Sienna & the Honda Odyssey. I currently drive a Sienna, & I LOVE it! Mine is a 2005, so it doesn't have all the bells & whistles of the newer ones, but it does have dual sliding rear doors, TONS of room, flat interior when you remove the middle seats for hauling, and it handles like a car. I have never even felt like my vehicle tipped to the side, & I put my cars "through their paces" ie. take turns @ 25-30 mph just to see what happens, run donuts in the parking lots in snow, etc.
Toyota & Honda are also well known for their safety ratings & reliability. I do know that Toyota is made by the same parent company as Subaru.
Thank god you & the kids are safe, & I hope you find a vehicle that meets your needs! T.