Just something I needed to get off my chest: I don't know where this is coming from, but lately I've had some blue spells and crying jags about my soon to be 8-yr-old growing up. On the surface everything is fine. He is a great kid and I enjoy him more and more as he gets older. I love the age he is right now. Even though I adored him in the baby through preschooler years, those weren't my very favorite ages. I'm just not sure where this sadness is coming from.
Anyone else dealing with something similar?
Use that saddness as a motivator to make even more memories with him.
My son is now a college graduate and I am even closer to losing him than you are. I had the same feelign that you are describing all my life with everyone that I loved.
I always feared being without parents and since 2012, I am now parentless. I fear losing my son to a wife (who some of you are). The wives who feel there is no room for a MIL.
You know, when I look at my 10 year old, I remember what my cousin told me when I had him--"it just keeps getting cuter and cuter!"
So true!!!
Think positively about it! All stages and ages are different and you are approching a new stage in your lives.
Embrace it and celebrate it because it is no use to anyone to mope around being sad and wasting the precious time you have that flies by way too quickly!
It seem like yesterday my daughter was born and she is graduating high school next week.. WOW the time has flown by quickly but we have enjoyed all the moments and learned from the not so good moments.
She's moving out and into the dorm in August. I am excited for her because this is a special time in her life.
Be excited for your son and what he is to become someday!!
Its growing pains and a Rite of Passage, for a Mom.
My kids are 6 and 10.
My daughter will be going to middle school next year.
I feel like that too, sometimes. I don't cry about it. But it can be sorta sad.
Gee whiz.
But it is growing pains for us Moms... seeing our kids growing up.
It is bittersweet.
But just make sure that your identity, is not only derived from your kids.
You still need to be your own, person.
Enjoy the moment, as you can see they come and go all too quickly. The only thing you can do to make yourself feel better is live in the present...you're dreading the future without him.
Each grade transition can be tough on us.
Your child is still a boy, but may be showing a bit more independence. This makes us feel like our babies, are not needing us as much, when in reality, it shows we are doing a good job.
As Sally said, we need to live in the moment. Savor the time you are having, quit worrying so much about the future.. and just enjoy being right here right now.
And when you need a hug or want a hug, just tell him.. I need a hug. Smell his head and look at his face. Take the time..
It does go fast.
yes-it comes and goes-God love you-you're never alone in your thoughts!
Yes totally. Mine is only soon to turn 6 and I already feel achingly sad about how fast the years have gone - she's going to kindergarten this year. For me, part of it is that I'm an older Mom and have only one, so much of it is bittersweet. I just try to focus on the wonderful day to day stuff and appreciate her even as she changes daily before my very eyes.
Enjoy every day!!!
I know exactly what you are going through. I feel the same way. I can't say I have had any crying spells, but I can certainly sympathize with them. My oldest is soon to be 10 and I just can't believe that she is going to be 10 already. Right now she is changing so much and I can see where she has matured a lot. I miss the baby and yet appreciate who she is becoming. Although at the same time realize how fast time has gone. It is sad in a way to loose your "little kid", so I can totally agree with feeling blue. My youngest is soon to be 8 and changing to an intermediate school, from a primary. That alone makes me realize that my baby is growing up and it is sad. I love our life and what we have been through, I also look forward to what is ahead. I just want to appreciate now, but it's sad to see them grow up and its great all at the same time. You are a mom and you are normal, everyone handles things differently. You are connected to your child and all that he has been and is becoming.
It's a time thing, I think.
We can't control time. It doesn't listen to us. It just keeps going. It won't slow down when we want it to. It won't speed up when we want it to. It just... goes. It isn't in our control. We don't think about it too much, most of us, but when we do, it's sometimes hard.
You're older. Your boy won't be a baby again. Actually, that's a good thing. There would be something wrong if he stayed a baby. But, with a little more of that (gasp!) "T" word, he'll soon be a man. And part of you may wonder, "How did this happen? Have I lost something?"
And yet, maybe you haven't. Laura Ingalls Wilder, in her marvelous LITTLE HOUSE books, talks about many Christmases - none of them lavish, but all of them memorable to her. When she and her sisters are teenagers, they have a Christmas that is great in its own way, and one of the girls says, "Why does every Christmas seem better than the last?" Another sister answers, "Maybe it's because we're growing up." Some people would imagine that a past Christmas, the Christmas of a little child, should be the best, but there are some good things about time going on.
If you have a penchant for journaling, you might start writing down all the good things than happen each and every day. Every day is important, even if it's a day filled with tears, as some days are.
There's an poem that reads, in part, "'Yesterday' is but a dream, and 'tomorrow' is only a vision. But today, well lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope." End of lecture.
I know so many parents feel what you are feeling. My oldest is on his first date right now, and most people ask me how I'm surviving it. I'm actually enjoying watching him grow and go through this new phase of his life. He'll be in college in three short years, and while I know I'll be sad to see him leave, I'm so excited for him and for all that he's experiencing.
My youngest is 9, and I am loving the conversations we are able to have now that he is maturing and learning so much more. We have such a good time together!
I guess to answer your question. No. I'm not dealing with what you are, but I don't think it's unusual either. I've always been someone who is very good about enjoying the moment, and I think that keeps me from being too melancholy.
I hope you get through your blue phase. It sounds like you have a wonderful son!
Sounds like you need to find a hobby. Seriously😊
8 is a great age! But of all the ages to start being sad about..that isn't it.
I think I would add some Vit D supplements to my diet.
Believe me your days of sitting around being sad are almost over.
You will be too busy.
Yes my Oldest is 8 almost 9 and my youngest is 5.I don't want them to grow up but it has to happen.Its like there baby And toddler years felt like 1 week To me.I am so grateful my oldest,she still likes to hang out with me.Just enjoy your time with them.time does fly
It's always OK to feel whatever we're feeling. And the best way to get past feeling that way is to embrace the feeling. Welcome it, linger in it for awhile. When you get tired of feeling that way you'll move on away from it.
Because your son is growing up your life is changing. You're grieving the loss of having a little boy because it is your favorite age. I suggest that you may be anticipating the loss. If so, I suggest that you turn your focus on what you have now, so that you won't miss anything. At the same time allow yourself some grieving time while you seize who he is now.
Just think of his future. He has such wonderful things ahead of him. The world today is such an exciting place. He can be whatever e wants for be.
Be happy for him!!!!
