Hi moms! I am going crazy trying to get my kids to clean their rooms and pick up after themselves. My son is 9, so I think he should be able to do his own picking up while I vacuum and clean his bathroom. My daughter is almost 5, so I give her more guidance and break her room cleaning down step by step. Their rooms are on our main floor, right across from our laundry room, and any guests use their bathroom so I feel like they need to be clean. Not spotless, but picked up. It's a huge battle every weekend, and they seem to spend more time hiding and stashing their dirty clothes, papers, and even trash than actually putting things away. I've tried lots of different motivational strategies, I've bought organizational tubs, I've tried teaching how to be organized, I've even tried to shut their doors and ignore (which I can't do, it's too disgusting). My daughter just argues or cries and my son just tries to throw stuff in closets, behind doors, in his bed, etc. Any ideas that have worked for you? Oh, and I've also sorted and given away most of their stuff to eliminate clutter, so I really feel like they have one manageable chore to complete, and I give them all weekend to do it. Did I mention that I got so frustrated and grossed out that I hid in my bathroom to type this? Help!
Don't wait until the weekend, 5 minutes a day can do wonders to controlling the mess and making the weekend cleaning so much easier. My kids are bad for that, especially laundry, and I always tell them, if it waits for the weekend to go to the laundry room, they will be waiting several days, as I don't do laundry everyday and they will be waiting for favorite clothes.
I found that by making it a team effort....everything was finished MUCH quicker! I actively helped, directing the efforts....but there were many times that my son would anticipate my next words or would direct me!
The key to making this work is....that then they have to help in your bedroom & the rest of the house. You'd be amazed at how much quicker bathroom cleaning goes when you have help! & I was relentless - I did NOT do the bulk of their work......but dang, they sure helped me!
To make it more fun, I kept the supplies in a bucket or basket- to move room to room. We played loud music.....& my kids never felt "alone" or isolated. There was always a reward afterwards....sometimes a snack, sometimes a fav movie & snacks.....or whatever. Allowance was never given for basic life skills.....it was saved for the big chores.
Have you looked at flylady.net? She has a control journal for children- you customize it for your children- also they have a link to Pam Young- the House Fairy- a program devoted to getting children excited about cleaning their rooms, etc. I have 7 children still at home-out of 9 total, and my house and their rooms are relatively clean- and it is because of these sites- and there is no yelling, screaming, etc. nor Saturdays spent "cleaning your room" Good Luck, S.
I like the suggestions below to do a little each day and do it with them. In conjunction with that, I highly recommend reading Love & Logic.
Love & Logic's basic premise is that kids need to learn the natural consequences of their actions (or inaction). Your 9-year-old didn't put his clothes in the laundry? He'll eventually run out of underwear. Your 5-year-old doesn't want to pick up her toys? If you pick them up, they get thrown out/put away where you keep them and she has to earn them back. Anything without a natural consequence that you have to do yourself can be responded to by saying, "I'd love to take you to your friend's house to play, honey, but I'm so worn out from having to pick up your room. I need to rest now."
I agree with "notjustanotherJennifer" the Love & Logic natural consequences they are both old enough to learn there are consequences to their disobedience. A family is a team and when everyone does his part the team is a winner and can have time for some fun stuff. I would plan something they both love doing and let them know ahead of time that is will happen if their chores are done and you will be checking their room before you go. Don't be lenient if there is clothes hidden or things are right like you have told them then they don't go, if one did good and one didn't then reward the one that got theirs done right, where the kids learn you mean what you say, what ever punishment you chose if you will be consistant it will work, but most times parents have their own agenda and the punishment get in the way so they let it slide this time, well what has that said to the child. It says "some times she mean it and other time I don't have to do it because she will forget or has other things to do" don't kid yourself these kids know when you have somewhere you have to be or other things to get done and when they have to do the work and when they don't.
i give a dollar a day for a clean room/bathroom/help with trash and towels and her little sister,
im going broke but the house is spotless
Instead of waiting until the weekend can you set the timer and have them work for 5 minutes a day (or 10) to make it more manageable? If my kids know they can quit when the timer goes off they tend to do a better job (although we have had our fair share of "stash and dash" to deal with - when that happens I send them in to work until it's done!) Good luck!
My 6yr old will pick up anything that is not hers. she will vacuum, she will help me make my bed, etc.... but to pick up her toys, she argus. ARG!!!! My 12yr old is getting as bad as my 14yr old. My sister just told me to pick my battles so thats what I do. If they wanna do something, I tell them they cant till the room is clean. ARG!!! I feel your pain. We dont even wanna start with my husband. HA. Good luck
well, my 3 year old still thinks its fun to make her bed and pick up her toys. Do they have a hamper? Perhaps you could start a daily routine of putting all dirty clothes in the hamper, whatever, before bed. That way it's not so overwhelming on the weekends.
