Is it rude to ask for money to put into savings accounts for our kids birthday instead of people bringing gifts? If it is not rude how do you word that on an invitation? Our kids have everything that they need. We would like to start a savings account for them as they are learning about the importance of saving money.
completely rude, I'm afraid. all the etiquette books talk about this in terms of weddings, for example. if you want them to save - give them an allowance. birthdays are for kids to share - if you don't think they need gifts, then just say no gifts on the invite.
AS you've heard, it's rude. With family, when they ask, let them know the kids have enough and helping to fund a college education is more than enough. (We've done this and the kids have very healthy accounts and they haven't missed a toy yet).
With friends:
"Presence not presents" works really well and keep the party small.
Donation to a shelter in lieu of gifts teaches kids about the bigger world.
When you get a toy, hope it comes with a gift receipt and just exchange it for cash.
GL! and Happy birthday!
You may get a number of responses to this, so you don't have to pay attention to mine if you don't want to! I'm a grandmother, so I look at things from a slightly different perspective.
And, yes, it is rude to ask people to give your children money. (Actually, it is rude to ask people to give your children any sort of gift at all, since the very nature of a gift is that it is voluntary. But I know what you really mean.)
One alternative is to ask that guests not bring gifts at all. You could stress that their friendship is gift enough. Then make the parties so much fun that they're gifts in themselves, both to the birthday child and the guests.
But to say, "Bring me [bring my child] a present but make sure it's cash" - yes, it's rude, even though people do it all the time.
The savings account business is good! But start it yourself. Put a small amount of money into your child's account, and then teach your child to save a little out of every allowance, even if it's just a penny, and add it to the account (check with your bank about minimum deposits). Later, you could spread the word to the grandparents that the children now have savings accounts, and Grandma, Grandpa, and Aunt Gertrude might (voluntarily!) decide to encourage the saving habit themselves.
For family it might be ok, otherwise just ask that they not bring a gift, or that they donate to a cause. Asking for money is tacky when you don't 'need' it.
I don't think it's rude. I'm always at a loss for what to get for a child's birthday. In fact, for my niece and nephew, I started them accounts and that's where most of the money I would have spent for birthday or Christmas goes. And all family members have been given the option to deposit money for the kids whenever they want.
Maybe something similar to the following on the invitation:
"Gift ideas:
The children are learning money management and will soon be starting savings accounts. They would enjoy gifts that cause their savings accounts to grow."
If you think listing a second option, like something the child collects, would soften the request, that might work, as well.
I kind of think it takes the fun out of the birthday for your kids. It may be fine for family, but I think kids want their presents or money to spend for themselves, since it's a day to celebrate them. There are ways for children to earn money, either from you or trusted friends, some kids even do modeling.
Yes, that would be considered rude.
I don't think this is rude, instead I think this is more helpful for the guests not having to go shopping for a last minute gift. A gift bag along costs $5 which I would prefer not spending on instead putting that $5 into a savings plan which can truly count and make a difference. I have twin boys who get x 2 or more of the same toy and frankly all the toys now-a-days are large and bulky. We constantly donate toys that we have yet to play with due to lack of space in our home.
I would say no, if the people being invited are family & close friends. I am not sure of the reaction you would receive if you told this to someone you didn't know well. I am not quite sure how to word the request though.
Make it a GREAT day!
S.
I think it's kind of rude. I would be really taken back by an invitation that said no gifts just money. I'd put "no gifts please" LONG before I'd put "bring money for his savings account"! In my opinion you just shouldn't do that. If you end up with gifts take them to charity or regift them after "buying" them from your kid and having him put the money into his savings.
if we got an invitation to a party saying bring money instead of gifts, we just wouldn't go because it is very tacky. I totally get what you are trying to teach your child, and if someone approaches you and asks what do you think would be a good gift for your child? tell them you know, we've been working on saving and money management, if you can think of a gift that works with that, or maybe money specified for the savings account that could be helpful. but put it out as a suggestion, not as a give my kid money for their savings account. but don't put that into the invitations. and only put it out if someone approaches you as to what to give.
my parents set up jars for us, when we earned money we would put 10 percent into our bank jar every time for savings. we learned we can play and keep money we want to and that putting some into savings would help us have money for a rainy day. as we got older we had a long term savings jar and a short term savings jar. that was if there was a toy I wanted I could save up money to get it. but always putting money into the long term savings first.
overtime like that is a much better way to learn to manage money and a savings account.
another though would be to have your kids go through what they have and make room for the toys for their birthday and have a garage sell with the toys they no longer use. or to find your local Just Between Friends and do a consignment on the toys. any that don't sell can be donated to a local charity. just some thoughts on that.
good luck!
Yes, it is rude to ask for money. If you feel strongly about not wanting toys for your kids because you feel like they have enough, then simply put "No gifts please" at the bottom of the invitation, or even try going with a book theme....books are something you can never have too much of. Good luck.
Completely rude to ask from friends, I'm afraid, but I wish it weren't. We had a friend hold a Penguin Party for her 9-year old's birthday party and ask for donations so she could adopt a Penguin through World Wildlife Fund. I a little taken aback initially, but was then so relieved; putting money in a card was SOO much easier than buying a gift or even a gift card. I don't even care if she doesn't spend it on the intended purpose. I would love to just give money for friends' birthdays, but I have the feeling that its seen as rude, or suggests we are lazy, uncreative, etc. I already see myself as 'on the edge of politeness' by giving gift cards. I would love to see cash elevated on the gift spectrum.
Yes,it is rude. Here is an alternate idea: when my youngest turned 5 she requested donations for the local animal shelter instead of gifts. (Of course I encouraged this idea but it was better than receiving toys that she didn't need.) She then took the donations; money, used towels, and what ever else the shelter might need, and then I took her to the animal shelter do deliver everything. The volunteers at the shelter were very happy to receive these donations and she felt good about helping out the animals. I've also heard of people doing a book drive and then delivering the books to the librarian at a needy school.
Good luck with everything and enjoy the party.
Sorry, have to say I agree completely with the responses you already got. Family, it would be okay, friends, not so much. We give money for birthdays to our nieces and nephew because it is easier than trying to figure out what to get for them and then they have the option of saving or spending - I figure that is between their parents and them. But if someone sent our daughter an invite to a birthday party specifying cash only as a gift, no matter how close we may be the the person, I would think it was pretty tacky. I would either say no gifts, or maybe discuss with your child possibly having a party where the gifts will be donated to a local childrens' home or other charity where they could be put to good use by those less fortunate and put a note in the invite to the parent explaining what you would like to do. Then it would be their option on whether to buy something or not to donate. It wouldn't be teaching your children about saving money, but it would be a good lesson that not everyone is as fortunate as some and it is good to help people when we have the opportunity and means. Just putting another idea out there. Good luck with your birthday party!
More presents seems silly for children who have enough. However, it's fun to buy family members gifts--money is not fun. Since we have plenty, too, I ask grandparents for something specific (unless they already had their own idea), and we cut back on gifts from mom and dad. Others bring gifts, you provide the savings account. This way everyone wins.
I can absolutely see suggesting to your direct family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc) to contribute to a savings account. However, asking friends of your child for money in lieu of gifts is, I think, inappropriate. I certainly understand the kids having enough stuff - my daughter's birthday is coming up, and I have suggested to some that gifts are optional.
If the kids don't need anything, then maybe suggest that no gifts are requested, or that suggest that folks donate to a kids charity. I don't think there is any sort of appropriate way to say "bring money instead of gifts"
If you want to teach them the importance of saving money, maybe you could start giving them an allowance or give them money for your gift.
If you're inviting people you don't know well, that might come off as rude. But if it's a close friends & family party, just tell them like you told us-they have everything they need, you'd like to teach them how to be responsible with money at an early age.
Don't put it on the invite though-then you're telling people they've got to bring gifts. When they call to RSVP or ask what your kids want, tell them about your savings idea.
And good job! I wish I'd have thought of that w/my younger ones. Hubby & I aren't so hot at saving & neither are they-the ice cream man is a bigger priority to them.
I don't think it's rude at all! I'm actually trying to find a polite way of wording it fro my sons birthday as well!!
We live in a small apartment and we can't have any more toys laying around! We opened up a saving account for our son and I mentioned to my mom to spread the word to her side of the family to give checks or gift cards in his name for his future. However, my husband seem to think its very pretentious of us to assume that people will bring gifts (who wouldn't bring a gift to a baby's bday party?) Point is, it's the the value of the check or the gift card.. just the fact that we can't have any more toys!
If you wanted to go out and buy a $5 toy.... wouldn't you think its better and EASIER to just write out a $5 check? We're saving you the trip and the guessing if he already has the toy or if he would like it!
I was thinking-
**Presence not Presents**
**Gift cards Appreciated**
