Repeating Kindergarten

Having been a special education teacher for 17 years, I say pleeeease let him repeat Kdg. So many babies with developmental delays are forced through the educational system. When and if he is olaced on an IEP, individualized educational plan, he has the right to receive a free and appropriate education, in any public school system, until he is 21. Later in his educational career, usually middle school, the districts try to move them up to the appropriate grade...legally, you do NOT have to agree to this. Please do everything that you can , especially while he is young.
Thanks for being a concerned parent!!!!

My son along with 6 others in his kindergarten class were held back. I think each parent would say it was the best thing they had ever done. He has done very well. After two years of college joined the AF and was in Iraq. Now works for the Department of Defense.
Had my son been pushed on when he really wasn't ready...he would have never been able to do all of these things. He gained so much confidence in that second year in kindergarten.

Barb S.

My 5yr old hailee is the same way.she does fine at home but it's like she plays stupid at school sometimes i don't know what to do.

I would have him repeat kindergarten. Boys often need a little more time to be ready for school, and having any delays would be a signal to wait. And you did say he's about a year behind the other kids. If you advance him, he'll always be a year behind grade level. The fact that you are changing schools makes it easier to decide on the social side.

My experience - My son and my neighbor's son are one week apart with early August birthdays. Her son had speech delays and received services from about age 2 on, and went to public preschool. He started kindergarten when he was 5. We were homeschooling, and I knew Alan was not ready, but we did some preschool stuff and called it kindergarten for his sake. He was generally about 6 months behind - he was ready for kindergarten in January that year, and that's when we started kindergarten work. During 2nd grade, my son was diagnosed with pediatric bipolar and accomplished very little learning that year while we were trying to get him stable. Toward the end of that year, we contacted the school for testing, and he went to the school for an hour a day for testing and some time in the 2nd grade classroom to see how he did. We started the next school year with him going half-days to 3rd grade. The first day of school, he told me he wasn't ready for 3rd grade and had missed a lot in 2nd grade and needed to go back. He said he didn't care what his friend said. (I was so proud of him.) So he was in 2nd grade, with his friend in 3rd, and this year in 3rd with his friend in 4th. Alan was able to make up a lot of lost time in 2nd grade, and had advanced more than a grade level in reading. Meanwhile, his friend who is "ahead" of him, is slightly behind grade level in reading - my son is catching up to him on reading. My son is working through 4th grade math at home, and his friend is struggling through the "lower" math book at school. My neighbor really wishes she could have talked her husband into starting him a year later, but he would have none of it. Her older son also has a summer birthday, and is very smart. If she had started him a year later, he would probably qualify for the gifted program. I really believe in starting summer birthday boys a year late, and even earlier birthdays if there are any doubts.

Hi K.! I don't know if I can help you or not but my parents held me back and made me repeat kindergarten. I was born deaf and had corrective surgery when I was 3 1/2 years old. The noise was so much that it would make me tired and I would sleep during class and such. The point is, I'm glad my parents held me back. It was a year to review everything and make sure it sunk in. And it will help big time that he will be at a different school with new people. Good Luck with your decision.

Wow! If there were only more parents like you. I am a first grade teacher now, but have taught kindergarten before. It is my belief that it is better to hold students back in kindergarten, but alot of schools are not allowing teachers to retain students in kindergarten. Here are some questions you need to answer. Does your son go to a half-day or all-day kindergarten? What about the school he will be going to next year? If he is already in an all-day setting and the school that he will be at next year is as well then there should be no problem having him retained. Also check to see if the new school has a trastional first class. This is a class that designed for those kids who aren't quite ready for first grade. Is he receiving any services from the school? If he does you might not be able to have him retained. If he isn't have him tested at the new school so that he can start receiving extra services and support at school as well. I hope this helps and you are able to understand it. Good luck.

Hi K.. I'm a teacher and my oldest son is also in kindergarten. Have you talked to his teacher about this? What does she say? Does he receive title one or special ed services? If he's having a hard time with some of the concepts in kindergarten, then it might be a good idea to hold him back another year. There is no shame in that,especially since you're moving. My son is the youngest in his class (July birthday) so we debated sending him this year. We decided if it proved too difficult for him, we'd enroll him again next year (in a different school as well). Only you and your husband can make that distinction. As a teacher, I'll tell you that it is easier socially to repeat a grade as a younger child than an older one, and in my opinion, repeating kindergarten is a much better choice than him falling further behind as he gets older.
Also, as for the speech delays, public school must offer speech therapy for a child whose speech impediments negatively impacts his education. It's a special ed service. My son also has some speech issues, so we had him tested by a speech therapist to get him therapy to correct it. The younger you start, the better it is for the child.
Good luck.

Just my thought, hows his hearing has that been checked recently, when you tell him his thoughts on something and he gives you a totally different picture, maybe he isnt hearing it right.

Sorry only thought I had.

Good luck

G.

A quick background: I taught first grade for 10 years until my daughter was born 2 years ago. Your child is an individual but many parents struggle with this choice, so you are not alone!

I agree that this is the best time to hold your son back. Since you are moving and he will have a fresh start again next year, you have a great opportunity to avoid the social stigma of repeating a grade at the same school. Also, another teacher may have different approaches or teaching styles to help your child gain some new skills.

That being said, the consistent delays that your son has been experiencing are a little troubling from the child-development standpoint. Since he will not be able to repeat every grade and allow extra time each year to achieve goals, it may be a good idea to have him tested by your school district. Unless his delays are severe though, he would probably not qualify for additional interventions (besides speech or language). It is very difficult to identify learning disabilities or processing disorders in 5 year olds. Unfortunately, the school system is set up so that most children have to fail miserably before they get the help they need.

I hope this does not come across as discouraging. Keep the line of communication between home and school open, and ask the teacher his or her opinions about your child - but take them with a grain of salt . YOU know your child best!

Best of luck, and Merry Christmas,
J.

I am currently a Senior in Early Childhood Education. What I have been taught in my classes is that you do not want to ever hold a child back over 4th grade or so. I know numerous children that were held back in Kindergarten and they have progressed beautifully. The parents do not regret that decision. I can't tell you what to do, but if I were moving to a new school district and it were my son, I would definitely repeat K. It is a good age to do it and it gives him a chance to catch up and build self-esteem because he will already know some things and will feel confident in those things. It sounds like you are a wonderful parent and would be wonderful to work with in the school system. Good luck.

Hi, I'm not a teacher yet though I am in school to become one. Have you and your husband tried working with him at home? You may be able to get with his teacher and get her lesson plans for the week and have a note sent home at the end of the day or the week on things that he had problems with so that you can work with him in the evenings or on weekends. I was also held back in first grade because instead of learning to read I would memorize certain books and tricked people into thinking I could read. It was the end of first grade before anyone caught on because I would read books to people but I couldn't read the words on my worksheets. It was a really good thing for me, I was really young when I began school. I turned 5 a week before I started Kindergarten and was the youngest person in my class. I was put in the GT classes after I was held back and I was closer to the students in my new grade level. You would probably want to see how he progresses for the rest of the year and make a decision in April or even May. I would say that if you feel he needs to be held back then do it. Children learn a lot of fundamentals in Kindergarten and if they don't pick up on them then then in the following grades it's really easy for them to fall further behind. An extra year in Kindergarten never hurt anyone.

Hi K., I think having him repeat kindergarten would be great for him and don't you feel bad for doing so. It will be better for him in the long run, and you don't want to see your child struggle with stuff in class and have to rush to keep up. My 9 year old step-daughter has this problem and it is hard for her sometimes to keep up with the rest of the class, work wise and attention wise. I have six children from ages 19-5 and it's been my experience that a child who is a little older in kindergarten does better all around. Plus, I think the teachers have an easier and more successful
result with the kids. Kids these days have alot more on their plate and why stress them unnecessarily. Good Luck!
M. B.

If you're already a SAHM, why not homeschool him? I think you'll be surprised by the wealth of support you find among homeschoolers. Send me a message (privately) if you'd like some help researching ...

What services is he receiving? Has he been tested by the school's speech pathologist? A parent can refer their child to be tested by the speech pathologist. Talk to your son's teacher about how to do this. Also, the specialty teachers, speech pathologists, reading specialists and any others on his IEP can help you decide based on their knowledge and experience with other children.

Hi K.!
I am a speech-language pathologist for a school district and have been doing so for 8 years. With your kiddo have a developmental delay and speech delays, there's the possibility that the school might not consider holding him back in kindergarten for a second year, since he receives special education services and it is the job of the SPED department to try and close the gap without retaining a child. However, with that stated, I do not feel that there is any reason to move a child on when they just don't have the grasp of all of the developmental milestones and school standards that s/he should be meeting. What a better time to hold a child back, when they're in kindergarten, where there will be no stigma acquainted with it. A repeat of the second year of kindergarten might actually give your son the confidence, when he realizes that he knows the materials and the others do not. PLUS...he'll still be receiving SPED services, so he just might be able to close that gap?!
I know that this is a tough decision and it should be dealt with very carefully, but your son is young, has some delays and the idea of retaining is a good idea to consider.
Best of luck to you.
-A.

K.,

Hi! I have a similar situation with my son who will be five in January. He was also about 5 weeks premature and had unusual behaviors since birth that led to a diagnosis when he was 3.5 of Pervasive Development Disorder Not otherwise Specified (PDD NOS) which is a form of Autism. Besides developmental delay he also exhibits numerous sensory processing issues, echolalia (which is repeating things without understanding their meaning) and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) symptoms. You mentioned that your son is receiving services but I am curious what services he is being offered.

Unfortunately, often in this situation parents find themselves lost and they dont know what is available and do not know what to ask for. (Me included!) It also seems that no one is willing to tell parents what is available. If you are not already, I would recommend getting an IEP (Individual Educational Plan) in place with the school district. Through your child's IEP, he should be receiving services from the school district's special services cooperative (or similar program) which should be helping your son to stay on track with his class and his progress for HIS level. The program should allow for your son to remain in a mainstream classroom most of the time and also receive special services to help him keep up with the class.

If the school district is uncooperative or is difficult in giving your son the services he deserves, then I would recommend contacting the Childrens Legal Alliance (if you are in Missouri) where an advocate or lawyer will help you help your son receive an education. I am going thru this process for help with my fifteen year old who has ADHD and learning disabilities. Our lawyer recommended going to a website called wrightslaw.com and reading a book called "From Emotion to Advocacy". I am also wading thru this stuff and I understand that it is a long process. I hope this information is helpful to you. Feel free to contact me.

Blessings to you and yours this season!
M.

Hi K.,

My name is E. and I am High School Science Teacher. I would definitely look into holding him back. Especially if you are moving to a new district, the other kids will never know and he probably won't even realize it. I think that if you were to not hold him back you would be setting him up for failure throughout school. It is ok for him to be behind developmentally, all kids grow and develop at their own pace. By giving him an extra year in kindergarten, you will be giving him a lifetime of opportunity and achievements. You should definitely sit down with his teacher as well and get her/his opinion. Good luck!

Hi,

I would not have any problem in your situation holding him back & repeating kindergarten. It was something I considered with my daugther before she got to kindergarden because I worried she would not be able to keep up just from what one preschool teacher had said to me. However she did keep up & progressed well & was able to maintain her grades & expectations of her teachers even compared to the other children wihtout learning disabilities. I feel it's better to hold them back & let them build a stronger foundation that send them forward & they struggle. At his age he won't really stress over going to kindergarten again especially since you're moving etc but it could make a BIG difference for him. Is he getting all the services he needs? I know I had to push to get my daughter retested... we were first told by the school system when she was in preschool that she has a speech delay & in reality it was more than that. She was diagnosed with Autism (mild) and got more services after that..... Sounds like you're doing great working with him at home etc our kids need us to stand up for them to make sure they get what they need to learn etc since they can't do it themselves!

I wish you all the best & hope he continues to improve :)

L.

Hello K.,
I had the same problem with my son. I did let him go to 1st grade. The next year he repeated 1st grade again, this year he is doing great. For his speeh I started taking him to Therapy Source For Kids they tested him and now he's doing really well. They also do Occupationsl therapy that is to help him with his writing. The number is ###-###-#### they are wonderful people. I think it's a good thing to hold them back if they need it. Some boy's are delayed a little bit. Even if the school doesn't think you should hold him back you have the last say you can sign a paper that says they have to. I hope everything works out great for you. Good Luck!

I see that you are a stay at home mom. Have you considered homeschooling? Sometimes children will flourish at home. There is a great program I highly recommend. It's www.time4learning.com

It's entirely online and works either for supplemental or for homeschooling. They can progress at their own rate and it's only 20 dollars per month. My suggestion would be to have him start working on this now afterschool. He'll think it's fun if he likes the computer. Then in the summer you can have him work longer amounts of time each day. You might find that he is right where he needs to be next year.

Suzi

Hi, I went thought this to 5 yrs ago with my son. He is now 11yrs old and in 5th grade and doing great he loves school. I think that it has made school easier on him and he is able to enjoy it more. No one told us that he had to be held back but he was just a little behind. I think it just gave him a little upper hand and helped him to not stuggle thought his school years. So I am all for it! Thats just what I think hope that it my be helpfull and it worked for us

Hey K., I have not been in the same situation however my brother is a principal at an elementary school and deals with this issue every year. Now is really the best time to keep your child back and have him repeat kindergarten it can defenitly not hurt. Doing so will only give him an advantage in the future. My brother has 5-7 kids that he has held back due to developmental delays and 90% are boys. They mature alot slower than girls. From a mother of a 6yr old girl born august 5th 2001 that started kindergarten this year. and a 2 year old son born july 19 2005 that i am keeping out of kindergarten till after he turn 6!

Hi K.!
I'm a teacher and a mom of 2. My oldest repeated Kindergarten and we are sooooo thankful that we did it. Two years later, now in second grade, we are going to be able to discontinue his IEP as he has been steadily catching up. I think it would have been much more difficult for him in the long run if we hadn't made that choice. I think he would have felt major frustration in first grade, and instead he felt successful in Kindergarten. He felt like some of it was so easy (because he'd had it before), so he could really focus on the areas that were difficult the first time around. Some kids (and adults:) need a little extra time to process and create that long-term knowledge. I think it is a great idea to give your child that extra chance to build those skills. Anyway, I just wanted to share our experience and wish you luck with your decision.