Hello ladies! My DS turned four Oct. 5. He had been in preschool the previous year in the three old class. The teachers decided that he and two other boys his age should stay in the the three year class again this school year, even though they are so close to the cut off. There were a couple reasons behind it. I really believe that the original class that all three were in was a difficult class. There were 9 boys and 1 girl and they wanted to even it out. DS doesn't seem to be "learning" much this year and isn't as interested as he was last year or the beginning of this semester. He can write his letters, knows his numbers and is starting to read. We kept him back because I didn't want him to always be the younger one in class and the teachers made a good case that he would be more of a leader than a follower if he was the older one. Now, I don't know if we made the right decision. My husband really thinks that next year he should go to kindergarden instead of the 4 year old class. He thinks that DS isn't learning anything different then what he already knows. We are going to set up a meeting with the teachers to express our concerns. Is there any advice you ladies can give me? Is there someone that we can talk to that is a little more objective? Obviously, every parent thinks their child is amazing and smart, but I really do believe he isn't being challenged enough. And I do believe they wanted to lower the number of boys in the class. I would also like to note that I don't want in anyway for him to feel pressured right now about school. I want him to love going and not be stressing out about it. I don't know! Help!!!!
how about try to move him to the 4 yr. old class for this second half of the year, and then kindergarten, next year. If he really knows how to write the letters and starting to read, he is ahead of what they normally push in public
schools at this age.
If he's repeating the 3 year old class, it's understandable that he's not being challenged. He's doing the same thing he did last year. I would think the 4 year old class would challenge him. I think I would be hesitant to send him to kindergarten without having the experience of the 4 year old class.
As a Kindergarten teacher I'd like to say your post tells me nothing about his readiness for K. Does he follow directions? listen to a story? play well and get along with his peers? follow rules in a simple game? take turns? I have a Kindergarten student who came in reading well above the first gr level. He almost never pays attention. Calls out all the time Cant seem to follow directions (because he isn't listening to them) never does his work unless reminded several times, then rushes to finish his work which is sloppy and without much effort. He needs a lot of attention and appears to know less than he actually knows (he is bright) He is not learning as much as the other children thank goodness his parents are teaching him stuff at home. Just saying knowing letters and numbers isnt enough. the only way to see if he's ready for k next year is to put him in the four yr old class now and see if he's successful. (he'd have much better role models) He could grow up a lot in the next 8 months! Personally I always lean toward "red shirting" and most school districts have a Sept. cut off
I am sure academically your son would be fine, but please take everything into consideration and weight out the pros and cons.
Pro's
Will be more mature.
Will be older to handle the homework load once he gets to 1st grade.
Will be bigger in size when it comes to playing sports down the line, which will be to his advantage.
Con's may not be as academically challenged.
That's all I can think of. I am sure you will get more great responses. Bottom line is you know your child best and what your child can handle. Good luck in your decision.
My son turned 4 in August, so I completely understand your concern. Obviously, being his mother, I also think he is extremely smart and probably could handle the work of kindergarten come this fall. In fact, our neighbor is a kindergarten teacher and she swears that he would probably be one of the brightest in the class (even though he would also be one of the youngest). We are going to wait until he turns 6 before we send him. It really comes down to a few key things:
1. We want him to always have the advantage. By being younger than everyone else by a year or more, he is all ready at a disadvantage.
2. While my son is tall for his age, he is fairly skinny. He has a friend who weighs almost 20 lbs. more than he does (and is only 3 months older). What does the above average, in size, child who was born a year earlier than by son look like?
3. My son has a fairly large interest in sports. Understandably, this may subside as his schooling goes on, but if it doesn't, he will always be one of the youngest on the field. Keeping him back would give him an advantage in middle and high school that those shoved ahead would not have.
4. Finally, I think it comes down to maturity. A LOT can change within a year. I look at some of the boys he is friends with who are still 3, and my son is leap years beyond them. That also means that the boys who have turned 5 by now are probably leap years ahead of my son. It is important for him to be able to build relationships with the boys in his class, and that will be harder if those boys are more mature emotionally and socially.
This is what helped make our choices easier...I hope it helps you a bit too!
I don't know about Colorado, but most states REQUIRE that a child be 5 by Sep 1 to start kindergarten, so look at that before you start any other process, and maybe save yourself a bit of unnecessary effort.
Also, there's a lot of factors involved in entering kindergarten. Cognitive (academic knowledge) is only one of these. Social and emotional development are at least as, or much higher in importance. That may be part of why the teacher decided to keep your son back.
My daughter has a Sep birthday and I was unhappy that she had to wait the extra year, but I realized that, even though she had been in preschool since she was 3, she was still emotionally immature. That extra year gave her more time to mature, and she really needed that. Now, she's in 6th grade and happy and confident and able to make friends, as well as excelling in school (and still learning lots). So maybe it's better to let him wait an extra year.
It sounds like he is bored and ready to move up, unless there are social things he still needs to learn before progressing. I'd talk to the school. If they seem keen on keeping him where he is for the sake of their class gender balance, they're not serving the best interests of your child.
If he is starting to read, he is academically ready for kindergarten. How is he doing socially? Can he "use his words"? Share, play cooperatively, listen attentively, switch tasks when he needs to, follow directions? Also, how are his fine motor skills - drawing, writing letters, using scissors? You've still got half the school year ahead of you, and if it feels like he's ready for kindergarten starting next year, he needs to be in the 4 y.o. class now.
Hi--
I am a Mom who held my boy back because of age. He is very smart and knew all the material, but emotionally was not prepared for school.
If I were you I would talk to the teachers about how he is bored and see if they can either move him up, or give him more challenging work. I am pretty sure he misses the cut off for kindergarten next year--I know in douglas county they have to be 5 by Oct. 1. You should look into what the cutoff is where you are. If you can get him into kindergarten you could always do half days for the first year, and then find a full day kindergarten for the following year. That way he's not the youngest in class, but stays challenged.
I talked to my pediatrician about whether or not to hold back. She said that she's never heard of anyone who regretted holding them a year, but has heard of lots of people who regretted not holding them. Also, it becomes a bigger deal once he gets to middle school and high school. He will be smaller than the other boys in his class which can cause all sorts of social pressure. Also, if he plays sports it could effect what team he plays on. My husband's best friend was a late September Birthday and was not held back. He still wishes to this day that his parents had held him back because he would have been more competitive in sports.
Hope that helps!
J.
you don't say what the cut off date is for your school district. in our school district the kids have to be 5 by september 1st. So your son would not make the cut off. you might want to put him into an older aged class. and then when he hits kindergarten put him into a full day program.
So your son is 5 and is in a class for 3 year olds? That seems really weird to me. I think next year he should go to Kindergarten, if he knows letters and numbers and is even reading a bit he is plenty ready! My daughters both have early August birthdays and they started Kindergarten right after they turned 5. They have not had any big problems, my now 8 year old can read at a 6th grade level and she is one of the best in her class in math as well. My current Kindergartener is testing at grade level and is enjoying school very much. I read a study once that showed that children who were held back an extra year before Kindergarten did no better than the children who went to Kindergarten at 5 years old. We took the plunge and it turned out great for both my girls! Good luck to you and your son!
My youngest daughter had the opportunity to be tested to go into Kindergarten a year early. She tested "average" and my husband wanted her to start, I didn't, I lost the argument and she went in early. She did fine accademically, but was always a year behind in maturity. She struggled with some classes toward the end of high school.
We have custody of 2 of our grandsons, and the youngest boy was able to start in a new 4yr old pre-K at a private school. He struggled until mid-year and then did okay. We pushed him ahead into the 5yr old Kindergarten and the same thing happened. The 1st grade teacher expressed major concerns about him and recommended he repeat kindergarten, but my husband insisted that he go into 1st grade and he ended up failing. We moved that summer and he repeated 1st grade in a public school and did excellent (the private school was a year ahead of public) and he continued doing well until the 4th grade and he's been struggling with reading and math since. He is in 5th grade now and I work with him and his teachers to keep him on track, but I really feel that a better base from repeating 4K would have helped him better than pushing him on and waiting until 1st grade because he felt like he belonged with the class that went ahead for 2 years straight.
If anyone asks, I will always recommend holding a child back to give them a better "hold" of things.
Does the school you would send your sone to for kindergarten have a readiness test or something? I would ask for an interview at the very least.
Consider the teacher's experience and the reputation of the school.
As teaching professionals, they have a lot of experience and are less biased than parents with regards to promotion.
Also, search the previous questions on this blog. This has been asked a LOT in the last couple years and you can probably find more advice from other post-ers.
I say listen to your husband.
Go talk to the school about moving him up to the 4 year old class now, because you want to put him in kindergarten next year. Some kids are made to be the older kids in the class and some kids need to be learning new things and age doesn't matter. Sounds like your son needs to move up.
My son is Oct3 and we are not able to start until he is 6 due to this, just the "luck" of the draw if you are dealing with a school district. If it is more of a child care/education center you may have more wiggle room.
There's a lot of articles online about this, sometimes called "redshirting" - do a google search. I personally don't believe in it unless there is a maturity issue. Can you put him in the 4 yr old class now to see how he does? Going from a class with 3 yr olds to a class with 5 yr olds seems like a big jump
What about trying to find a preschool next year that has a class for 4 and 5 year olds? We put my son, (turned 5 in early Sept. and could have started kindy) in a different preschool since he had already been through both years of preschool at his old school and everyone in his class was going to kindy this year. My son is now the oldest in his class at the new school but it is a class for 4 and 5 year olds. I am a former elem. teacher and would say wait. I have 2 teacher friends whose kids turned 5 in July and Aug. and both of them are waiting to start their kids in kindy until next year. Good luck!
My oldest did pre-K and is a 6 yo in kindergarten. We figured we'd do the same with son #2 because he's also a summer birthday, and it was DEFINITELY the right thing to do with #1. But #2 is only TWO years old and we all ready suspect he'll be ready for K when he's 5.
I think that you KNOW what's right for your kid!
