Recess - Would This Bother or Concern You?

I would be bothered knowing my young child is playing with a large group of kids that are a lot older. Older kids can be bullies to younger kids, for example, not "letting" her play on a certain piece of playground equipment because they "claimed" it.

We homeschool so I am ALL for letting kids learn to socialize with kids of all ages. HOWEVER, I would not like it in a large group of mixed ages that are probably largely unsupervised--as teachers can't be everywhere at once! I can see why they may have done this, but I wouldn't like it if it were my child!

I agree, get a bunch of parents together who don't like the system and talk with the principal. There is strength in numbers.

I think it's fairly inappropriate, the way they have recess set up...not to mention dangerous. I wouldn't want my six year old girl on the playground with a bunch of ten year old boys, because they play VERY differently. Recess is supposed to be a break from classes, fun, etc...not a "watch out so you don't get run over by a bunch of older kids" experience. I would complain, not that it would do any good unless everyone complained.

I don't even understand how that works...does that mean they have lunch with their "community" instead of their grade level? It really makes no sense. Each grade level should be a community.

School just started. Give it time. She'll make friends. I guarantee that she's not the only one feeling this way...and eventually the kids in her community will reach out to one another.

EDIT: I think this is a great idea. Requiring children to have positive contact outside of their grade might just cut down on bullying and cliquish behavior. I like it.

As far as the other mom who was crying? Really?? Chill out, helicopter mom. Your child will survive. There are worse things to worry about in this world than recess.

To me just the sound of "oh we are not in the same community" so we can't play together sounds a little strange. I get the concept and the idea is nice but I believe recesses should be divided by grade...not according to what click..um I mean...communtiy you are in.

Just my two cents.

Good luck and best wishes at your daughter finding friends within her community. Hopefully it is the kindness-inclusion-respect community.

How about you all give it some time and see how it goes? Schools come up with different ways of doing things for reasons.. Not to mess with the kids and upset the parents.

I understand your child is shy, so is ours and she is now 21..
In 1st grade she did not know even 1 child in that class and was also upset, but I kept telling her, "now you get to make some new friends!"

She ended up being a great class and she is STILL friends with those kids.. boys and girls..

So take a step back and let your child realize she can handle change. Give her some social tools to help her find kids to play with.. This is part of school.

Yes it would bother me if they had recess with other ages/grades. They should be with their peers. I wouldn't like that set up at all at our public school. where each grade eats lunch and has recess with the same age/grade. Enough of this cumbayah attitude in trying to get kids from different ages and grades no less different home lives and backgrounds to get along. Mostly unsupervised too probably. It's hard enough for the kids to stay age-appropriate these days. Especially young girls.
Can you ask other parents what they think about the current set up? We have a great school in that it's power in numbers....going to the principal as a group instead of one person makes a lot of headway with any situation that is in need of change or that warrants re-evaluation.

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When I was in school and this is also how my kid's school is it goes by grades. Kindergarten by themselves and they have their own play area. Then first, second, then third through fifth.

It seems strange how your school does it because it doesn't encourage the kids to know and play with all the kids in their class. What happens next year when everyone is switched around. No one will know anyone.

Your daughter is having recess with her "community". She has recess with her class, right? It's hard in 1st grade to have a lot of BFF's. She will make friends within her classroom pretty quickly. It's only the first couple of days of school....tell her to relax and just be her friendly self. You relax too mama...I know it's hard to watch you kid have a hard time, but she will make friends quickly.
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That is a bummer. But obviously the school has put a lot of thought into this system, has organized all their schedules, etc. and so I'm sure sending an email would not change anything. I would make the best of it, especially since, as you say, you do like the school. Perhaps if you know a lot of concerned parents you can get together and nicely give the school your feedback, but I wouldn't expect change anytime soon.

I don't think kids have to be the same age to be friends. What about the other kids in her class? There have to be at least 15 of them, right (my daughter's kinder class has 22!)? My daughter was friends with some older girls in our small group at church (she just entered kinder and they are in 3rd) and it worked out great. They also played with the younger siblings that were around 2-3 years old. I guess I don't see the issue here. If her community has any 2nd graders in it, they are only one year older (and, in some cases, just by a few months since birthdays fall all over the place), so she could befriend them. Or, she could play with the kids in her own class that are her age (again, there are a bunch). I don't see anything wrong with what the school is doing. Your daughter (and the other kids) will likely just need some time to adjust. School just started, so I say give it some time. Best of luck to you!

I see your concern but she does have her classmates (25 */- kids) that are her age. Recess is the time for them to socialize and play. I wouldn't worry too much, it sounds like your child is just shy. Maybe you know another parent (of an older child) from the same community that could sort of look out for your daughter and maybe initiate some interaction.

Yes, I actually would be concerned that my child is not grouped with children her own grade level on recess time. It's really important that kids have friends their own age, in my opinion. Our 1st grader is in after-school care and while they TRY to keep the grade levels together, during the free playtime on the playground there have been some issues that my daughter has experienced w/ the "older" children that mix on the playground there aren't a whole lot of 1st graders in the after program, I don't know why). Let's face it, 5th graders are at a different maturity level than 1st graders. When I was growing up, recess time was 1st through 6th and the children gravitated towards those who were the same grade and age level. I think that is appropriate.

I've never heard of a set up like that. I am a regular substitute at the elementary where my daughter attended and recess is just after lunch.

Lunch and recess are both with your entire grade level.

I can see both sides to this so it's a tough one. I think end of day, I'd prefer my daughters not be at recess with 4th graders. It doesn't seem necessary. Same time, I see this year that my 2nd grader just plays with her old friends at recess so it's hindering her making new friends in her actual class. So it might make you feel better to talk to someone in the administration about why they do this. Likely they've seen it work well over time. I'm sure they don't want a bunch of miserable 1st graders either... Our school has older "buddies" that come to the younger classes some to help read and stuff. This wasn't done when I was a kid and it's pretty cool to see my daughter have an older "friend". So maybe something like that could be incorporated too. Otherwise, it seems like the older kids would mainly ignore the younger ones except the really outgoing, confident younger ones...

In my school (private Montessori) we have recess with all the students from 1st - 8th grade together (about 65 students). It works just fine. It gives the older ones a chance to be role models and help the younger ones. It's fun to watch a kickball games with everyone playing and encouraging each other. In the world at large you don't associate only with people your own age. Our classrooms are also mixed age (6-9 years old, 9-12, 12-15).

What about the kids in her class? I assume they are in her community? Where are these kids?
Are the big kids being mean about the jungle gym? Can she tell the playground monitor or are there other options for the smaller kids? I mean, is it like a "you can't sit in the back of the bus til you're older" type of thing?

No, it would not bother me. But that is bc my son is very outgoing and most days at recess he plays with kids that are older/younger. He is in 2nd grade but has friends all the way up to 5th grade. He loves playing soccer with the other kids at recess. If I were you I'd start setting up weekly playdates with her new classmates. Invite them over and give her time with some of these kids so she can have some one on one time to make new friends. If she is a little shy it is hard to make new friends and sometimes you need a little extra help :)