Really Attached 5 Month Old

This is a stage and he is 5 months old. Just give it some time and he will start to go to other people. Right now, he just wants you. Enjoy it because that stage only lasts so long! :)

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Sounds perfectly normal. Just think of the incredibly toned arms you will have from holding him all of the time!!

On the serious side, I understand where you are. Both of my kids were the same way and it's exhausting! Hang in there, it will pass soon. If you get too frustrated (also perfectly normal!), and you need a break, leave him with someone you trust and get out of the house, even if it is something as simple as a trip to the grocery store. You'd be amazed at how much just a short break can help! Then when you get back, snuggle on up and enjoy your baby!

I can sympathise. One of our daughters was like this. She would scream and cry in the grocery store if anyone talked to her, and since she was so pretty, every one tried. I wanted to get her a tee shirt that said "please don't talk to me!" No one could hold her but me, and she was just very sensative, beyond the normal stuff. It may be that this is just who he is, and the more you try to get him to go to others, the harder it may be. Just wait him out, but to me, she seemed terrified, so I protected her and did not hand her over (even when my MIL wanted to hold her) If he does not enjoy family and friends, you may just have to keep him away for a while until he tolerates it better. I don't think that there is anything you can do to change it. She is 13 now, and she is fine.

I really do not think it has anything to do with you being a SAHM, it is all about his personality.

M.

It's normal at that age to experience separation anxiety. Some kids are ok with you just handing them off to another person and walking away, and some aren't. My first daughter would quickly stop crying if I walked into another room, not so with my second daughter. She would scream her little head off until I held her. I can't stand her thinking that I abandoned her, so I always gave in. As soon as she was in my arms, she would settle down. After a few minutes, I'd try again. She just needs a little more time to warm up to people. If someone wants to hold her, I ask that they play with her first,while I"m holding her. It only takes a few minutes before she's ready to go to that person. She's 9 months now and is MUCH more comfortable with other people holding her than she used to be. I think It must be scary for Mommy to hand them off to a big scary stranger. I can only imagine what goes through their little minds! they don't understand that if you take something away, it comes back. Give your guy some time, he'll be out of this phase soon enough.

I found that if I just left, my son would quickly calm down in the arms of who ever was holding him. But I had to actually be gone - hiding in the other room didn't work. He seemed to know or because I could hear him crying I came back too soon. Whatever it was, leaving was the answer. Leave him with a friend and get their feedback. You might be surprised!

Good luck! It's hard, I know!
T.

I don't think the "just leave the room" method is the solution- how scary to be a little one and have the person you love the most in the world leave you!
What worked for me was holding my son snuggly so he didn't think I was letting go, and just sitting next to the people I wanted him to get used to- ie my mom or sibling etc.
Just sit there (closely so you're touching bodies) holding your baby, and talk with the person, laugh and relax. Don't plan on passing your baby off, just enjoy the time. By doing this your little one will realize that you're not going anywhere, they will relax, and then they will slowly warm to this "stranger" and want to play with them just like mommy is! :)
Its a slow way of doing it, but its full of love, comfort and security- just what they need at that age. :)
Good luck!

My daughter was like this. For the first two years she didn't even want to hang out with daddy. It was all mommy all the time. I went back to school when she was two, part time, and she learned that daddy is awesome. I learned to stop being such a control freak. I was sure daddy wasn't going to do things as well as I do because I knew her better... but I was keeping him from reaching his full potential as a daddy. Maybe she picked up on my stress, but I don't think so. She was just a mamma's girl.

She's seven now and doesn't really care much if I'm around or not. :) I miss my baby.

Enjoy it while it lasts. I liked the idea of short trips, like to the grocery store. I also started jogging at that point, when I couldn't take it any more. I spent an hour a day running away from all responsiblity and working up enough guilt that it felt good to go home afterward and face all the responsibility.

Good luck!

I would start out slowly and not to allow people to just come up and take him from you as he needs his own space and time to decide if these people are safe to him. He may be overwhelmed and feel threatened so just look at it from his point of you- all he knows and feels safe with is you! So, maybe starting to find someone to come over to your house on a more regular basis and have him interact with. Then slowly leaving them together even if you are still in the house for a couple minutes at a time. Remember, it takes time so I would always be there in the beginning until he initiates the interaction-never force it on him. Do not be made to feel bad either. i know I received comments from especially family saying I was spoiling my son and he was too attached. That is rubish! He is so much more out going now and is easy to leave in the care of others as I let him choose otherwise you just set the stage for future problems, anxiety issues, and trust issues. He is fine and so are you- he just loves his mama and there is no one like you!

Totally, totally normal. Next time....just leave. He will become accustomed to you being gone and everyone will be happier for it. It is over in a few minutes. I PROMISE you that he will be fine. You DO need a break.
If it's any consolation, my 3 year old cries when I leave him. It would break your heart. But after I am gone for 5 minutes or so he is totally fine.

My DD was the exact same way! I'm also a SAHM and she is now 6 1/2 months old and just recently she started going with everyone. But around 5 months she wouldn't go with ANYONE! Not even my mom that she would see every day. Or her father either, only at times. Its a phase and he will get over it but I know it is very difficult right now! Hang in there!! :)

My son did not exhibit his separation anxiety in the same way as yours, but I would like to offer a few suggestions.

While at home, practice separating from your child. I would try to say the same thing before I walked out of sight "mommy's going to ----, I'll be right back", then when i came back into the room, "hi, I'm back". or something similar.

When it came to anxiety around other people, I would talk to him reassuringly as I held him near the person. (Also, if i was not fond of someone, I think he would pick up on it, so keep in mind he may feel your anxiety about his possible reaction and may be misinterpting it). If he fussed, I would try to find his "comfort zone" i.e. backing away from a person but still discussing the person, offering comfort and a chance for him to warm up to the idea of the other person. I just tried to approach these situations while remembering that the world is still SO NEW to a little baby, so I would just try to keep him feeling safe while slowly introducing the idea of being held by someone else. Even though I would practice being out of sight at home, I would not walk away (if I could help it) if he was anxious outside of the home, that was not helpful to him at all.

Maybe it is time to introduce a comfort item that he can carry around with him. They help with transitions.

Also, i found that this phase with him did not last long at all.

Babies go through this on and off. He is starting become more aware of his surroundings and knows who the strangers are now. I think when they are this young, they have a short memory so even if you see your MIL every weekend, for him it probably seems much longer and/or maybe he doesn't even remember her.

Instead of forcing him onto someone to get him "over it", I would just hold him until he warms up to the idea of going to someone else. Talk to her so he sees that it's someone you know and someone you trust, and he will eventually trust her too.

I took my lead from my son. If he was dead set on not going to someone, then I just held him and eventually he would become comfortable in his own time.

Good luck!

This happened to my daughter around that age! The only other person she would go to was her great-grandmother who lives with us. Literally over night when she was 6 months she started going to everyone and anyone! The only time she gets upset now is when I come back from where ever I was. And even then she just kind of whines until I pick her up. I'm not so sure it has anything to do with being a SAHM because I have worked away from the house since my daughter was 6 weeks.

Its tough but hang in there...as I say with every phase: remember that this too shall pass!

Hand him off every chance you get from this point on. Whenever we went anywhere, I would give my son over to the first person that asked (and sometimes I would even offer, "Would you like to hold him? It would really give me a nice break!"). My son was more than willing to go to anyone and everyone from that point on. I do think some of it is his age, but just keep exposing him to people and "forcing" him to be with someone new. I promise it will eventually get better!

this is not because you stay home that your child acts like this. If you had a caregiver hed be attached to you and the caregiver/or be a very stresssed chid. It is his temperament and dont worry he isnt going to be 10 yrs and on your lap! Please go to drsears.com . he has a lot of info and books he wrote with info on the "high needs" child. His last child was a "high needs" infant. they really require some special care! Also go to meetup.com and find some mommy groups in the area so you two can get out more and enjoy others company on a regular basis. I promise you this too shall pass ( but dont push it or it wont!)

He'll learn in time, and you'll get a break in time. Until then, it's normal.

Oh my second son is going through this right now too!! I remember not liking it with my 1st and even hating it more with the second (heck he wouldn't even go to daddy). I've found in the past couple of weeks it is getting better, he doesn't cry with everyone like he did at the 5 month mark, but there are a few people that I just have to say forget it....For some reason mustaches and glasses really do it for him. No matter what I do he won't calm down. I just calmly take him back and explain he'll eventually get over it and don't be offended he'll turn around soon. And leave at that!!

What's working now and I don't know if it'd work with your LO, but whoever I hand him off too, he HAS to face outward, and they can't talk for a good 5-10 minutes and absolutely can't turn him around to look at him. And after about 20 minutes or so he's fine. Sometimes its easier than others, but my son hates anyone who makes googley faces or gets all gagaga over him, even a loud laugh will set him off. They have to be really relax and just chill with him pretty much. If I'm up and about he's fine with that, but the minute I sit down or come over and try to chat with whoevers holding him forget it....

Also with my two, during this stage, I would never attempt to pass him off unless I knew they were not tired or hungry. If I did I was just setting myself up for a full on meltdown. Good luck .Don't worry it'll pass and just as soon as it passes it'll hit again...My 1st went through it again at 9 mhs and that was 10 x worst than the 5-6mth stage.