Really a Vent but Whats up with This Valentines Candy Craze!

I say relax! It is once a year and the kids so love exchanging candy treats. We always did it when I was growing up and it was never an issue, so I do not see why some people have such an issue with it now.

I just feel that people tend to overdo it sometimes. I just want to tell everyone that it's nice to be so thoughtful but they should really save their money and not buy the candy. One child giving my child and Valentine with a piece of candy is fine but when you have 20 or more children in a classroom passing out multiple pieces of candy, it just gets to be too much. One small piece of candy with a valentine would be fine but I agree that my children do end up coming home from school with massive amounts of candy, cookies and cupcakes whenever there is something to celebrate at school. I just feel that it's nice that my children are able to celebrate these holidays but they really don't need to receive so much from so many people. Small amounts are okay.

I control what I give my child to eat at halloween, at Christmas, and if they bring stuff home, I decide when they have some of it. Does not bother me in the least. Put the stuff away, or donate it to the homeless, they would problably love it.

M.

I completely agree! Yes, I can limit how much my kids have, put it away etc but it's just another hassle as I have no control over stopping it before it gets to my kids. I'd rather not deal with it. And it's meaningless for each child to give each child in a class of 25 kids candy. It's not special at that point and is just more junk. I don't understand why other mothers insist on giving candy to other people's children all the time. (unless they're married to dentists...) I do as one mom said - don't send any with my child to school for other kids and as well, I don't put it in bday party goodie bags. Just what my children need after having cake with icing and juice boxes - a bag full of candy!

EDIT - just read a post saying to relax, it's once a year. That's the point. It's NOT once a year. It's Halloween, Valentine's, each kid's birthday, "100th day of school" at our school, St. Patrick's Day, Holiday party at school in December etc.

I have to say it definitely has escalated since my boys started school. It used to be almost all cards with maybe a lollipop or hearts candy thrown in. Now it is almost all treat bags. I don't really care though-it makes it fun for the kids. They did sugar-up today but by tomorrow I will have thrown most of it out and they won't even remember to look for it. No big deal.

Edit after reading the rest of the posts:

People-seriously, how old are we??? It is NOT about moms outdoing one another. If a mom wants to enjoy the spirit of the holiday with their child and make a treat bag who cares?? I would never think that she is trying to make ME look bad. I almost sense some jealousy out there. Not only did I make a treat bag but I organized a party where amazing games were played to great music with awesome prizes. The kids had a blast. I am sure some of the 'hater moms' are going to think-'She is just trying to make me look bad by having the best party of the year for the kids. How much did she spend on prizes anyhow.' No-NOT my intention at all. I was ONLY thinking about the kids-their parents did not even come into mind the whole time. I could care less what they think of me really. And I can assure you that is what the moms of the goody bags at your school are thinking as well.

Yep--few moms can resist competing in the O. upmanship of the holiday goody bag.

yeah i am kind of annoyed by it too....when i was a kid, really only three or four of the "cool" kids brought valentines with candy, the rest of us just gave the little cards. now my son comes home with a huge box of candy. not to mention cupcakes and treats at the valentine's day party at school. grr. this candy will last us till easter i am sure. we still have halloween candy.

You missed the big Easter egg hunt, minus the eggs, add the candy.

The candy does get ridiculous when my oldest was in Elem a $2 package of valentines and a shoe box and we were good. Now it is the valentines with the candy in it, some wildly creative box because there is a contest. I am not a fan of Valentines day in general so it just makes me crazy.
I do have to say one thing I read the other posts and I think it is mean to take the candy away from the kids. As long as they dont OD on it I dont see the problem but taking it and telling them someone else ate it or you just tossed it seems a little over the top.
My kid would never forgive me they are not huge candy eaters most of it goes in the garbage eventually but it is theirs not yours.

It doesn't bother me on bit... My husband is at home with our preschooler when our son got home with his Valentines. If he gets a lot of candy, we take it, and give him a piece when we feel he should have it. Our older son 13, has a girlfriend and got her two different kinds of heart shape candy boxes...

This has been driving me crazy too...I just recently asked a similar question on this site about sugar. It totally bothers me because every time you turn around there is another treat to be had. Even when my son started playing soccer parents all had to sign up to bring a snack. When I was young, a snack at soccer meant cut up oranges at halftime, so this is what I brought....but I quickly found out that isn't what's for snack anymore. Other parents brought cupcakes, cookies, snack bags of chips or cookies PLUS a fruit drink to go with it...I was really shocked. I get so tired of saying no to my kids! It makes me feel like I can't keep treats in my house, because of everything they get out in the world now - why double up with treats at home? I just hope and pray that I am teaching my kids good habits so they make decent choices by the time they get to high school...because then come in the soda machines, caffeinated energy drinks and all that! UGH!

My preschooler came home and filled up our "halloween bowl" today as well. I told my husband about it and said I was half tempted to just throw it away. He doesn't need it (I don't need it, lol) and was just plain old irritated that all day I had to hear "Can I have a piece of candy". Grrr.

It's all about showing up everyone else. period that's all it is.
Who's mom brought in the best valentines collection of treats.
That's the way every valentines party at school is.
We sent in free game of bowling coupons downloaded from our local bowling ally's website.
We don't do candy at our house, least not for the kids it makes them CRAZY

Kids DON'T NEED big parties with tons of candy and junk food and game etc. IT'S NOT NECESSARY. Actually I would prefer my kids classes didn't do these things.
And Really if it's not mom's one upping each other , then WHY does it get bigger every year??

Lol, my kids are are on a major candy high right now too. And I am just as guilty because I started the day off with little heart-shaped baskets of treats. Then at school they got candy from every other child in class, had valentine parties in which they decorated sugar cookies and played bingo with conversation hearts (and of course brought the candy and cookies home). Then we got home and my mom had sent a package in the mail... full of candy.

I guess we as moms need to probably remember that they are going to be getting candy from about 100 different people on these kinds of holidays, and try to come up with some better ideas on our parts! I think I will hit the clearance racks tomorrow and stock up on heart-shaped notebooks for next year ;)

No, you aren't a bummer. Most of us want to be asked first before someone gives our kids candy, and there's nothing wrong with that. For some of us, all that candy = another battle over sweets that we're going to have to have with our kids.

We just had a Valentine's Day party at my preschool today, and it was lovely. Last week, the kids made valentines (just cardstock, stickers and markers) for each other and we made a small poster with lots of hearts glued on. Today, we had some berries, english muffins, almonds and some fruit tea. They had a blast, with no sweets other than ones from nature. I try to avoid knowingly creating a sugar crash, whenever possible!

I'm not a killjoy either...but I told my husband not to buy any chocolates this year. I've got two boxes of it in the cupborard still uneaten! Appreciate your post!

Thank you for posting that! I am appalled (yes, appalled) thinking of all the junk that is distributed at school. Further, the # of parties is ridiculous. Don't get me wrong; I LOVE desserts (just ate a cupcake after lunch), but there is no reason 3 year olds need ice cream parties with gummy worms and other junk 'on the side' before coming home with a bag of lollipops, etc, etc, etc. I would never in a million years keep my kids from participating in the school parties, but half of the stuff that comes home is set aside and/or thrown out. There is ALWAYS a discussion about whether or not it's junk and how much is appropriate. And, before anyone judges, my kids get dessert and other treats from me occasionally, but it's usually after having a pretty balanced meal. Finally, the mom who stated it's just moms trying to outdo one another hit it squarely on the head.

I agree with you 100%.

Before we started homeschooling it was one of those things that drove me nuts sometimes. It's especially difficult when your child is intolerant to many foods and doesn't take kindly to losing his "treats."

From a broader policy perspective, what is in that junk and why are feeding it to kids on an almost monthly basis (between all the holidays and school birthday celebrations)? As another mom mentioned, at our school it was purely a popularity contest between the moms to see who could bring in the most coveted item. We had cupcakes bigger than two fists stacked on one another. It was ridiculous.

All that being said, I'm not sure what the teachers can do about it. There are always parents who will want to do it, and you will be branded as "one of those health-nut moms" if you say much about it (who cares right?). Now it would be nice if the whole class would agree at the beginning of the year.

Grrr . . . I'm with you on this one.

ETA: Mallory - I don't care about great parties - think those are wonderful. Just don't want my kid poisoned in the process . . .

Yes! I was surprised also! My 3 year old DS and I made Valentines. He was the only one! He got all candy and some pencils. I remember also it just being cards. When did that end? I thought candy was just from your sweetheart or parent when you were a child.

I'm with you! What bothers me equally as much is that I feel like it's become a competition. Moms can't stand just to give a paper valentine--they have to "up" things by giving candy or whatever else with it. My son's in preschool, and silly me, I just gave a paper valentine to all his classmates. It's all a marketer's dream, isn't it???

I agree that it is absurd. Even more silly is how early it starts. My two kids are in day care - my 2.9 year old didn't even fully understand the valentine-giving except by her 5yo brother's example, and she came home with a bag full of treats. What sense is there in exchanging valentines at 2 or 3yo?? I was proud of my son - instead of the pack of Toy Story valentines I bought him to give out, he hand made a valentine for each of the 20+ kids in his class. It does just feel so commercial and meaningless to add candy to every holiday. I don't have a problem with my kids having treats occasionally, as long as they eat their regular meals, but some of these trends are really over the top.

Good for you in thinking of the kids.

I help with parties where moms do compete so much that several teachers BANNED parents helping during parties and limited what/how much each child can send in. The competition is ridiculous. One M. had to be pulled aside and talked to because she was going to show up at a field trip for multiple classes and give one class a special, designer cupcake in front of everyone. There is even a rule now that on field trips, all or no classes can have special treats.

I am on your side completely. For me, it is not that he got all this junk, it is that he got it after school and was able to sugar up before making it home. Do what I do, when he is not looking.....throw it away. And when he asks, I will say, "I ate it" or "Your dad ate it" or "I shared your candy with your brothers since they don't go to school and did not get a party"

You are so right! Heck if we knew then and we all bought stock in M&M/Mars we'd be millionaires! My Mom's birthday was the 13th so we only gave our parents cards we made at school AND we only gave cards to our classmates. Valentines is so commercial and I think the price is a lot of hurt feelings and way to high expectations.

I'm with you.

Don't forget Easter.

My dd was the only one in her 1st grade class of 24 who did not give candy. She knows her mom has guilt issues about giving candy to children who are not her own. LOL.

She made these bookmarks instead and it was well received<img src="http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=98105&amp;id=101800...;

Yes, it is too much candy. I remember as a kid getting one or two pieces of candy with valentine cards but mostly it was just cards. Now everyone gives candy. I expected it though.

it makes me crazy too... good thing for now my kiddo is not in school but when he was in day care it was HORRIBLE

Ugh -- I agree. It has become too much. We first encoutered during our son's 1st year in pre-school (age 4). We had simply helped him make valentines for his classmates and then felt sort of guilty when he got so many valentines with candies attached. So, our of guilt we did the same for the next couple years. But we switched a few years back to attaching a pencil or silly bandz instead of candy.

I say thank goodness for allergies :) Both my sons schools (preschool and Kindergarten) had candy free Valentines Day parties today. We got pencils and stickers and it was fantastic.

Start a movement at your school - I'm sure you are not the only parent who feels this way.

As a parent of a child with a peanut allergy, I am thankful that schools in our area 1) still celebrate at school (many don't in other local districts) and 2) go candy free because my kids can't have most of that stuff anyway and it's hard to take it all away.

Jessica

just a bummer! lol put it away and she'll forget about it soon enough and then you can toss it. perhaps write the teacher/schoo a note so for future it can be limited to just a valentine card as in the past. Some Moms are creative and get carried away, Im sure it was cute, but once it accumulates...it accumulates!

Your not bummer. Many parents and teachers think they're being nice by giving out candy. They also think it's appreciated and that "what's wrong with a few pieces of candy?". I HATE it. We have a strict no candy rule in our school system, yet my daughters got candy from the teachers.

My daughter brought in heart shapped banana muffins for her friends.

I do agree it has gotten out of control. I let her have one piece per day WHEN she remembers to ask for it and keep it out of sight. Usually after a couple days, she forgets to ask for it and the rest goes in the garbage can :)

Valentine's has become the candy feast between Christmas and Easter.
St Patrick's isn't there quite yet, but they are working on it.
It's crazy all the candy that floats around all the time.
After a day or two, quietly take the candy brought home and toss it out (before it gets forgotten in some corner and begins to drawn ants).

It doesn't bother me because my kids know they won't be eating any of that candy. They are allowed to pick 5 pieces of the candy and the rest gets donated to our youth center or if it's something they won't take it goes to the trash. I know that's a waste but the school will not accept the no thank you unless you opt your kid out of the party which I don't want to do. In return I never send candy or sweets into the school I always pick a small toy or stickers. You can attempt to talk to the school but I've never been successful with that route. Good luck.

I am with you-although my DD did not come home w a huge bag of candy i went to buy something little for my son and daughter yesterday and that is all there is-CANDY! It is so frustrating-thats why all the dentists have a great buisness-all this Candy! LOL! :) L.

I know, it's out of control. My kids are past the elementary school age, but this really started when my youngest was in elementary. I work in a 4th grade classroom, and every single kid gave out Valentines with some kind of candy. Just cards are not good enough anymore apparently. I think it's really unnecessary.

I know it irritates parents, but I completely remember how excited I was to get candy for holidays.. My mom was one of those moms that did not like candy, She would not purchase it. So I loved receiving it.. I did not go crazy eating it as much as it was knowing it was there and my friends had given it to me..

After a few days, my mom used to ask if she could "share it" at her work and I was always happy to send it with her..

Sorry, you're a bummer. Our son isn't even in school yet and I came home from work with a huge bag full of candy people gave him! Candy is not a sin, and a piece or two here and there isn't going to "ruin" a child.

When I was in school, we mainly got a box of cards, but the best cards were the ones with candy attatched (those were from the rich kids, and admit it, those were your favoritesd too, lol!). I guess nowdays, everyone is trying to be the best and the well liked.

Better hurry up and eat the V-day candy, like you said, St. Patty's day is around the corner, and then Easter. Yum...jelly beans!!

Doesn't bother me in the least it is exciting that they do receive these things from their school mates I do send in treats 1-2 pieces of candy to each student & a pencil.They know I control what they do eat & they don't get it all at once,this is their time let it be & just look over what they bring in if you disapprove ditch it & others give it to them as a treat.We don't have school parties or do treats for St.patricks day or Easter just on Halloween Christmas,V-day.

Really...who cares? They get so excited when they get these things at school. I have 3 kids so can you imagine how much they come home with?...they have some and I throw the rest away or give it away. And I have to buy stuff for all 3 to give...but really the $2-5 I spend for each of my 3 kids to bring something to their friends makes them happy and gives them a break in their day. Kids need to be kids too....the stepford moms on here drive me nuts..."I don't let me kids have blah blah"...and those are the kids that become obese because they binge everywhere else and the ones shooting up the schools in high school because they lived in a bubble their whole life. Honestly, this should be the worst thing that you have to worry about as a parent!

It does seem like it has gotten out of hand since we were kids. I try and limit it to 1 piece of candy that can be taped to a card but not all parents do that. My pre K son came home with a bag of candy. He got 1 afternoon to munch out and after that is it 1 or 2 pieces as a treat until he forgets or the next holiday arrives.

Yep, it is crazy. I just throw out 85% of the candy and put away some of it to put in their Easter basket. It is not wasteful to throw away candy - you can't send it overseas - nor donate it to the poor! Once they go to bed, throw it out.

My kids too. I let them have one piece of candy or gum and throw the rest away. They don't need so much candy. They already get dessert treats every week.