Readjusting a 3 Year Olds Sleep Pattern.

Oh dear, my, my stomach clenches at your husband's suggestion to lock your toddler in her room and leave her to cry. If it's not her fault that her schedule is messed up, should she be punished for it? And the simple truth is that some children just sleep more poorly than others. She may have inherited that from you (and you wouldn't lock yourself in your room when you can't sleep). But a few things may help shift her days and nights:

Shorten any daytime naps she may still be taking. Give her at least 20 minutes of sleep to recharge, but don't let her sleep for more than 1.5 hours (a time period that will give her one full sleep cycle).

Getting her up a bit earlier each week might help, too. Open windows to daylight and turn on lights in her room to help her wake.

Get her out in plenty of daylight during the day; the light she'll get in the blue range helps reset the brain's sleep/wake cycle. Keep evenings in low light, with NO TV or computer time within 2 hours of bed. Those screens give off light in the blue wavelengths, and will keep her brain from producing natural sleep and relaxation-inducing hormones.

Give her as much physical play during the day as possible. Her body will want rest by nighttime. Before bed, keep activities calm and relaxing. Extra snuggles or soft music might help. I know a mom who uses yoga sessions with her very active son about an hour before sleep, and it seems to help him settle (immediately before bed, any kind of exercise might be too stimulating.)

Your daughter probably won't learn to sleep if left to cry. She might learn to give up, though. I strongly advise you against it.

ADDED ––––– I intended to write this first, but spaced it out:

Keep your daughter's bedroom as free of chemicals as possible. Ubiquitous scents and ingredients in common household cleaners can seriously disturb the ability to sleep in sensitive individuals. Google "green living" or "healthy home" for lots of suggestions. (You might want to follow these principles in your own bedroom to see if it helps your sleep, too.) I'm extremely sensitive, and have eliminated ALL synthetic chemicals from my house. If I get exposures out in public, it can wreck my sleep for two or more nights.

My son is the same way I like to keep him up a little later or try no nap during the day. The most important thing in my opinion is she is on your schedule. Sometimes I let him get up for another 20-30 minutes for a snack or fresh diaper and I dim the lights and snuggle. I also have my stern moments when I know he's tired and I simply go back and tuck him in and tell him no it's nightnight time. I used to hate sitting my room so bored when I was little so I let him watch his "shows" like blues clues or Ki Lan. I mean I watch tv when I go to sleep and it's the only way I sleep. Sometimes a light up music box works too.
As for being depressed and taking care of a child I understand that too and it is not your fault. Different sleeping patterns are normal in kids. I do hope your talking to your do but either way feel free to talk to me. Venting is the best therapy.

Are you saying she takes a 4 to 5 hour nap?!
Keep naps short and gradually move her bedtime 30 mins/night earlier until you're at your "desired" bedtime.
If she naps--keep them short--and never let her sleep past 4 p.m.
Do a solid, set bedtime routine every night that will "cue" her that bedtime is coming--bath, snack, brush her teeth, books, prayers & bed.

Do you really mean your 3 YEAR old child... or 3 month old child????
who has her day and nights mixed up???

It is not her fault... she is only a child.
Locking her in her room... is mean.
It reflects... that the parent has no other way to help their child.

AND she should also be napping. I imagine she is real sleep deprived.

Are you being treated for your Depression/Insomnia????
You need to.... be getting medical help... it is affecting your child and your husband and the entire household.

If your child is up with you at night at all hours, because you have insomnia... that is not your daughter's fault....
If she has no set bedtime... that is not her fault....
Locking her in her room... is just not the solution.... what if someone hears her screaming and call the cops??? For example.

I believe, her whole entire daily day AND night routines... needs adjustment and to become 'normal.' NOT only her bedtimes. That is putting the horse before the cart.

all the best,
Susan

if you find something that works let me know. :)

I can't let mine cry it out either, much to my hubby's dismay:)

You could co-sleep or stay in the room with her, you sleep in the chair or on the floor beside her and then slowly move further and further out the door until the hall and then none.

Do you have a bedtime routine? When is she falling asleep now -- 10 or Midnight? How many hours does she get a day? Is she too sleep-deprived and you need to start with that (too little sleep = less and less good sleep). Research your options based on your unique situation and needs.

The more "available" you are to her needs before bed (change her routine a bit to suit), the better her sleeping will be because she trusts you will "be there" -- crying out doesn't give that.

My daughter went through this for a few months, and then back to normal -- I just put her on my lap, turned on the TV downstairs, and snoozed until she fell back to sleep. Not Ms. Manners, but it worked quick:)

Best of luck:)