I have a 19 month old son who is very busy and active. He is all over the place. I want to read to him on a regular basis but he seems to busy for it. He'll sit down for awhile and then jump up and run around. I have no problem with him staying in the room and playing around me as I read. But, I would really like some semblence of an attention on the book. Am I expecting too much too soon from him? Or do you have any tips for reading to a toddler?
This was my first post to Mamasource and I am absolutely amazed by the response!!!! Wow!! Thank you everyone for all your wonderful advice. I wish I could give a good follow-up but we all know this is something that will take time. My son and I went to the library today and checked out a bag full of picture books. I'm going to make reading more a part of his routine (before bed and naptime). I am already looking forward to reading to him each night as he winds down. I will be patient with him and encourage him to just be a boy. The best bits of advice I've gotten are the routine idea and patience. Thank you all for all your wonderful words of wisdom!!
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L.F.
answers from
Atlanta
on
WOW! You have gotten a ton of responses! I haven't read them all so this might be a dupiclate of advice. Try interactive books or books that use motion, i.e. monkeys jumping on the bed. Don't stop reading even if he's moving, believe it or not they do listen while moving.
I used to sit or lay with the kids prior to naptime and bedtime. We usually got in 1-3 books and was a routine be still follow today at 9 & 7 yrs.
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C.P.
answers from
Columbia
on
Hey S.,
Sounds like you've got a little hand full there. :-)I have a daughter, 18 months, just like him and I've found that unless she brings the book to me she will not sit still - not for long, though! Have you tried reading to him at bedtime? i know it's not much reading time, but maybe you could do it before his naptime, too. Everything i've read on development at that age states that their attention spans still aren't that long, so i wouldn't worry about it. Sounds like he's healthy and happy!! Good luck.
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S.W.
answers from
Atlanta
on
Just keeping reading!! Kids are absorbing more than we think. My son would wiggle and want to get down but now at almost 3 you cant get him to put a book down. He is listening. One day he will repeat something you thought he was not listening to.
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N.J.
answers from
Savannah
on
If he has a lamp in his room that is bright enough for you to read with, but not necessarily stimulating to him, begin a regiment of reading to him before bedtime. With only that light on, after bath and PJ time, tuck him in, crawl up with him and begin to read. He will ask a lot of questions about the book, pictures, etc. at this age, answer some of them so he knows that you care, and on others say something more simple, like "listen and we might find out the answer" to prompt him to listen longer to the story. In time it will get longer and longer periods of listening while getting him interrested in reading!
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J.B.
answers from
Columbus
on
S.,
I am a sahm of 4, ranging in age from 13 to 3. Each one of them have taken to reading at their own pace. If you really want to make him sit still while you read a book, I would suggest doing it close to a nap time or bed time. You can also do just one word books in the morning or even the touch and feel books with one word or a few words. Don't stress out!! He will know it and it will just make your day miserable. Reading should be fun!! He is learning just by you spending time with him and talking to him.
J.
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M.B.
answers from
Atlanta
on
HI S. R,
You may want to try establishing a routine first. It may be difficult at first, but he will come around. I am sure you have bedtime and a naptime. Try reading a book right before bedtime and right before naptime.
Also, to get him to calm down on those wilder days, I tried Baby Einstein DVD's with my 5 year old when she was turned a year old.
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T.T.
answers from
Charleston
on
I think it is great to "read" to your kids, but they usually don't stay real focused till they get closer to two (I have four kids, the youngest will be turning two this week!). What seems to work, cause you want to nurture ANY interest they have in books, is to let them turn the pages and point things/pictures, etc. on the pages without necessarily trying to read it to them. Sometimes it is hard to do cause I feel like we are not accomplishing anything cause the book does not get looked at in its entirety, nor is it really read, but any time spent looking at the book together is time well spent. :)
T.
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D.B.
answers from
Myrtle Beach
on
My suggestion would be not to just read to him, but show him the pictures in the book. Also, if you still want to read find books that don't have too many words, like 4 words a page. Children love colorful books. They don't know a lot about the words yet. Just sit down and enjoy looking at the pictures first, then as he gets older start showing him more words.
I hope my tip works for you.
D. B
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B.
answers from
Augusta
on
you may have to limit the books to short board books. The kind that only take a couple of minutes to read. kids are ready to be to be read to at differant ages. some kids can sit and listen early my son was that way , my daughter she wouldnt sit still till she was 4.
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S.W.
answers from
Savannah
on
Hey,
I don't think that you are expecting too much from him. I know some kids have a lot of energy(all of mine do), but I wish I would have started a little earlier getting them to focus. Don't push him but at least start trying to make him sit still. Try for time intervals and work your way up the older he gets. But you have to be consistant with him, when you say sit you have to mean it. Not forceful but firm.
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M.P.
answers from
Augusta
on
Hi, I am the mother of 2 very active boys. One is 7 and the other is 2. My 7 year old, when he was that age hated sitting still long enough to listen to me read. I often found that with longer stories I had to skim the page before he would turn the page. Some pages didn't even get read at all. We would just talk about the pictures. You are still communicating with him. We always had lots of books he could look through on his own available. Just be patient. Keep using positive reinforcement towards books. Take him to the library. Read about cars, trucks, trains, parks or anything he might be interested in. Don't worry if you don't get to read every word in the book. That will come with maturity. Now my 7 who is almost 8 loves books. His reading level is two grades above where his peers are. He reads to his little brother who has loved books practically from the moment he was born. It is amazing to watch them explore the pages of the books on their own. Your son just needs the freedom to develope his love for reading in his own way. If you read a lot, even when he is just playing, don't worry he notices. Parents who love reading are mostly likely to have children who love reading.
M.
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B.M.
answers from
Atlanta
on
at this age the best thing is to read to him even for that second he sits down with you. if he pops up and goes and plays, that's fine, he'll come back. sooner or later he'll sit still longer and longer.
my 15 month old, loves her books she always brings them to me to read to her but when she looses intrest she gets up and we're done until she's ready again.
just keep trying! you'll see! :o)
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K.M.
answers from
Atlanta
on
My 4 1/2 year old is and has always been very active, too. When he was smaller, I found that I was able to get hi attention better if I read to him during his bath. I'd put him in his tub seat, sit down next to the tub and read a couple of books. He was pretty much a "captive audience" at that point. LOL I always picked very short books with lots of pictures and bright colors to keep his attention.
Hope this helps.
K. M
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J.K.
answers from
Columbus
on
Keep doing what you are doing!!
Studies show that children who read or hear words will be better readers!!
Describe pictures in the book to your son and also let him pick out books. Don't worry if it is the same one over and over.
What day your little bunny will read to you
Enjoy the time together
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L.L.
answers from
Columbus
on
Hi,
You could read a story while he is in his highchair having a snack or meal. You can also go to the library and check out books of interest like trucks or cars. My son loves these!
Good luck, boys are very active but don't give up!
God bless!
L.
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C.H.
answers from
Augusta
on
He's not old enough to sit still long enough for an entire book.My 5 yr old barely sits still or stays quiet for a full book. But it doesnt hurt to read while he plays...if anything he might become interested if he see's you interested in it.
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J.L.
answers from
Augusta
on
S.-
19 month olds don't have much attention span. If you can just get a few minutes now and then reading and showing him pictures in books, you will be doing good. The main thing is to help him love to read by showing him how much you enjoy it. Read and let him play close by. I have raised two wonderful daughters that both love to read. Children do learn what they live!
Sincerely,
A proud Nana of 2
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C.M.
answers from
Columbia
on
As long as he is walking around within hearing distance of your voice he is hearing you and "getting" it. Just keep on what you are doing and eventually he will sit with you longer and longer. But please don't get discouraged. Just continue doing it and it will all work it self out. I have had the same problem and now my 3 year old loves to sit and read. I also have a 17 mo old and he does the same thing as my 3 yo old did and your child is doing so I know it will all work out fine. Hope this helps.
God bless,
C.
Mom of 2 little boy angels
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L.O.
answers from
Charleston
on
Make sure the books are age appropriate, very simple. At that age my kids enjoyed the books that had flip ups and pop outs because it involved them. He should grow out of it but every kid has a diffent attention span.
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M.H.
answers from
Columbia
on
I am former elementary school teacher, staying at home with my VERY active, short attention span 3 year old twin boys. Your child's attention span is approximately 1.5 minutes. (1 minute per year of age)
I suggest reading short board books that he can turn the pages. Ask him to point to things on the page. Read books that interest him (animals, cars, etc). Read books that can be sung (Baby Beluga, This Little Light of Mine, are two that we have. There are many others.) Get books that have tapes or cds and listen together. Read highly predictable books with lots of repetition. (Where is the Green Sheep?, Time for Bed, Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You Hear? are some examples.) Visit your local library and ask for help picking the books.
Sit him on your lap with a favorite blanket/animal while you read.
Reading Magic by Mem Fox is a fabulous adult resource about reading to your child.
And keep reading EVERY day!
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S.
answers from
Spartanburg
on
Hi S., as a mom to a 20 months old boy that loves to read I can try to tell you what works for us: i started to read to him when he was about 15 m.o. and honestly all I did was having the books available to him on the coffee table in the living-room. Eventually, he showed interest in them and then I started reading the more simple ones while making faces and noises or making-up tunes for them (like the 5 silly monkeys, that worked well). He loved to mimick my moves and eventually started repeating the words after me. He is now great at his ABC and at repeating many more simple words. So my advice is to start singing and acting to him while reading, that should catch his attention. I hope it works, if it doesn't maybe he needs more time tbe interested in reading. Sometimes one more month makes all the difference. Good luck.
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B.B.
answers from
Augusta
on
I am the mother of a 17-month-old boy and my son just LOVES books! That's probably because when we "read" books, we actually look at the pictures, name objects, learn signs for the pictures, etc. We usually don't look at an entire book, but that's okay.
At this age the important thing is for them to learn to love books, not necessarily reading. That will come. I think if you force your son to sit still while you read, he'll think of reading as a tedious chore and never learn to love it.
I also am a teacher of Deaf children and I get most of my students at 3 years. 99% of them have no language when they start with me, signed or oral. It's the same with them: We start with a love of books, naming pictures, learning things and actions. Then, after they have some language, they're more than eager to be read to.
As a teacher, I truely appreciate your wanting your son to get the right foundation for being a good student. I wish more parents were like you. Just make sure learning doesn't become a task they avoid at all costs.
Good luck with your little one!
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D.H.
answers from
Atlanta
on
Don't worry about it. Both my boys and girl did the same thing and they all LOVE books. We are book-a-holics. My now 2yo daughter, doesn't sit still long, but she does sit still longer than she did when she was 19 months old. For now, just look at the books and point to pictures for those few seconds he is paying attention.
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K.R.
answers from
Atlanta
on
Hi S.,
I am wondering if you are simply reading to him or are you engaging him in the books that you read? It sounds like your son is a bit on the active side. If you are not having him take part, ask him questions about things on the page, have him point to different things and include him in the story (which you may be doing) vs. just reading the words. In the near future take him to the library and make books a fun time away from home. Have him help you pick out some books. Then maybe build in time in the local park afterwards so he is also able to have his "run around" time. My guess is that is will come in time.
I may have had an extreme on the other end of the spectrum but my daughter loved books at that age and we would have what we called reading marathons where she would have me read more and more. I remember when she was a little less than 2 years I was astounded by 11 books at one sitting. But, she enjoyed the "cuddle time".
You are certainly on the right track. Keep on reading!
K.
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J.B.
answers from
Atlanta
on
I kept my grandson full-time until he was in the third grade. We had two special "cuddle" times each day. About 30 minutes before his nap time, we cuddled in Grandma's bed and I read to him. We read book after book every day. Then the same thing at bedtime . . . 30 minutes for us to cuddle and read.
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T.F.
answers from
Savannah
on
Hi, S.!
First off I would like to say no you are not expecting too much of your 19 month old son. I am a HS (homeschooling) mom of a 9 year old, schooled him since birth. He is pretty active; it's, in his own words, "hard" for him to just sit and listen. Something I have done is test him to see what kind of learner he is. And in doing so I have come to find out he is a hands on learner with a slight tinge for audio & visual. Well, that explains why he likes to move and touch things as he's learning or listening. So, what I started to do when it was reading or quiet listening time, even at a very young age, I gave him crayons and paper. He would sit and color quietly but would still be listening to the story, or whatever it was I was reading. We have a way of trying to fit our children into a mold that doesn't fit everyone. I am sorry but one size DOES NOT fit all. Our government has taught us that by training us to send our kids to school and when they can't sit in the chair for all those hours without getting tired and cranky they are bad kids or they label them according to the standard set by others that are clearly professionals. For pete sake, I remember sitting in those chairs all day thinking of nothing else but wanting to go outside and play. Another thing is if you want your son to sit for a period of time you have to train him that way. Start out with smaller chunks of time and add a few more minutes to that time frame week by week. Kids are not little adults with the same thinking pattern, they have to be taught and trained to do what you want them to. I do hope this helps some, I tend to get colorful when speaking about kids. They are great and such a wonderful gift to try to make them into something else because someone else says they should be that way. Give them the freedom to express themselves without tearing others down. Teach him to be kind, loving God, loving creation, thinking flowers are the brush strokes of heaven all the while teaching him to be a man. All the blessings to you and yours as you train him up. Have a wonderful day!
Kristina
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S.B.
answers from
Atlanta
on
I have 2 little girls who have always enjoyed sitting in my lap and reading. I do, however, have many friends with very active boys who had no interest in listening to a book at all. I think you may be expecting a little too much at this age. When your son is a little older (2 to 3) he will probably have more of an attention span to listen to a book....I truly wouldn't worry about it. All of my friends sons who ignored book reading as toddlers have grown to be good readers and students! I would suggest to keep trying, if it is not too frustrating for you, but not to expect much too soon. Good luck!
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R.S.
answers from
Atlanta
on
My son always loved to be read to and then went through a phase about the same age when he could not sit still for a story. That passed and now at 2.5 he'll bring books and make me read to him for an hour or more. Maybe your son would prefer interactive books with texture and little things for him to do while he is in this very active stage.
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P.M.
answers from
Atlanta
on
Hi S..
Your child is never too young to read to. If he is a little busy bee, you will need to start with short stocky books that has nice pictures and he can hold without tearing the pages. Also, make sure the book is on a topic that captivates his attention. My son loved train books and animal books, especially when I made the sound effect noises! It would also be a good thing to make reading before bedtime as a ritual every night. You can make his room quiet with a little dimmer light, and read to him as a way to bond, and let him know its time for bed. Hope this helps!
P. Y. Martin
Martin Maximum Mediation, LLC
(Relationship Coaching at its best!)
###-###-####
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A.C.
answers from
Atlanta
on
I wouldn't expect a busy toddler to sit for a book most days- could you try it at bedtime or naptime, when he is sleepy (and still)? If he sleeps in a crib, that's definitely one way to keep him in place! Also, try books with a familiar repeating theme/line that he can participate with- books are way more fun if children can anticipate what's coming next (and maybe even do movements with them- that's one way he can move around and still attend).
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S.G.
answers from
Atlanta
on
S., I have the same problem with my 19 mth old daughter. She will sit next to me for a few min. and then she's up and running. I just keep reading to her. I read that it's common for children to do this and just to keep reading to them. They are listening even if you think they are not. Something else that I do is play a story tape that comes with a book every night as she is going to sleep (rather I read to her or not). Sometimes she won't go to sleep unless I turn on a story tape. She loves listening them. I'm thinking that around 2 1/2ish (my two older ones) started sitting to listen to story time. Just give your little one some time.
Sincerely,
S.
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M.F.
answers from
Atlanta
on
He is only 19 months old he's doing what 19 month old babies do.
As time goes by he will listen keep the books for his age group or you will lose his interest. It's taken until 4 yrs old for my boys to really sit and listen. Have him cuddle next to you look at/ read his age books he should soon make it through half way.
He is being very normal.
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J.W.
answers from
Seattle
on
Hi Sara
When my two oldest girls were that age, it was very difficult to get them to sit still when I read to them. What I did was to carefully select the ones with the shortest stories, because at that age we know what their attention span is like. I choose books with lots of vivid colors on the cover as well as the pages, and just sat them on my lap and let them think they were reading along and let them turn the pages. This works for about 5 minutes, lol, so make sure the story does not go longer than that. My oldest daughter is in the 4th grade now and is an advanced reader, the best in her class, so keep it up and it will work out. Jess
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J.A.
answers from
Atlanta
on
Hi S.,
Just keep trying! As others suggested, read at naptime and bedtime. I started doing this for my daugther when she turned 1. And now at 2, she HAS to be read to at naptime and bedtime. She picks the books for us to read each night. After bath, we curl up in a chair in her room and read. It is such a special time for us both. She "helps" me turn the pages, which means I don't read all the pages.
Just stick with what you are doing and try some new times as well. He may not pay attention the whole time, but just turning pages together with a book he picked is a good start.
You should be able to find any kind of imaginable subject or story there. They have a way to find what you want according to age and it has come in mighty handy for my daughter and I. She is 3 and is just really loving the bedtime stories. She likes to turn the pages. Maybe your son would like to help turn the pages too. (Agreed, though, board books are the best bet for his age right now. I learned that when my daughter almost destroyed some of my childhood storybooks at his age.)
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E.B.
answers from
Charleston
on
Hi!
I can relate...my son just turned 2 - he is extremely ACTIVE to say the least...can have a somewhat short attention span at times as well. You may be asking a little much right now...My son LOVES books, but he wants to "read" with me, point out pictures, etc. He doesn't sit down quietly and let me read a book cover to cover. So, I can relate - but I don't think it has anything to do with how much he will read in the future. Keep doing what you're doing!
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C.A.
answers from
Savannah
on
Hi Sara~
I have an 18 month old who too is very busy. She does like to sit in my lap and let me "read" to her but our reading sessions consist of talking aout pictures. I also have a 4 year old who has very little interest in me reading to him. Then there's my oldest who was reading to me by age 2.5. So it just depends on the child b/c as we all know each child is different. I would definatley take your cues from your little one. And even though your little one may not be ready for this activity, it's okay. I would suggest, continuing to expose him to books at times when he's a little more calm and maybe even take him to Barnes and Noble when they do story time. (I think it's Wed. mornings)
And one last thing, I don't know if you are attempting to actually READ to your little one. If so, he might do better by just talking about pictures and make sure it's pictures that he can associate with. My little one LOVES pics of other babies. She's not into cartoon drawn pics as much. It may take some time. Don't give up but don't force him to engage if he's not interested. He will be in time and you don't want him to associate negative feelings to books when he is ready.
HTH,
C.
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A.S.
answers from
Atlanta
on
At this stage childrn are busy exploring I learned that even if it seems they are not paying attention they are.Just look at his not sitting down as multitasking. Start off with short books with bright colorful pictures and the small books that he can hold.I found that animating all action words and sounds holds their attion longer.Pay attention to the books he sits down the longest for figure out the themes he likes such as dinosaurs or trucks. Its best to try to read at the same time everyday such as before naptime or bedtime.I take my children to the library every week and now my 32 month old pics out her own books.Now she either looks at the pictures and reads her own story or lets me read it to her and try to read it on her own later.Even though your efforts seem fruitless now trust me they bear fruit in the end my 8 years old and 32 month old love the library and read anything the can get their hands on.Please dont give up he is paying attention.
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M.M.
answers from
Atlanta
on
My son will be three in June. We recently made a rule in the house that most of our activities would have a "fun" theme. I only read to him before he goes to bed and it's now become one of our favorite snuggle times. At first, the only options were read and look at the pics or go to bed. It's worked very well for us as any child would rather be doing anything other than sleep. Now he loves it! As he gets older and can sit for longer, I'll start books earlier in the day.
I will say though, your son is still very young and boys are non-stop energy. Don't get frustrated as there will be many years ahead when you can read to your little guy peacefully.
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M.R.
answers from
Columbia
on
Don't be fooled, even though it appears your 19 month old isn't listening--he is!!!
Granted their attention span is short, they are listening and picking up more than you realize.
So God bless you and yours!!! I'm glad you realize that at an early age,kids need to be read to.
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B.M.
answers from
Myrtle Beach
on
Maybe you could try reading the interactive books and asking him to point out things for you in the pictures.
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J.T.
answers from
Spartanburg
on
My daughter was similar, but now at 21 months, she loves to listen to books, as long as they are not too long. I think it's great to read books to them, but it should not turn in to a power struggle of "sit there while I read this book". The idea is to make reading fun and enjoyable, and teach the child to love books. He will come around :) And at that age, he doesn't care about hearing the "end" of the story. So, getting a few pages in is still helpful.
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S.B.
answers from
Atlanta
on
S.,
It is wonderful that you are just reading to your child. However, at his age he can sit down and listen. Some things to think about are first about you....are you excited when you read? can he hear it in your voice? do you make it sound interesting?....When my girls were little and it was nap/sleep time and they didn't want to read because they knew what was coming, I'd start reading the book and saying out loud "Wow! Look at the colors on that butterfly? I wonder what he's doing?" ...asking questions out loud that got their attention. Then they'd come over and sit in my lap and "explore" the book with me as I questioned things that were going on in each page of the book. Then we'd go back and read them, discussing the event if need be. Even if it isn't nap time and you are just playing, you can do the same thing. Ask questions about the book out loud, look at books with subjects he is interested in (dinosaurs, trucks, etc.), read with drama in your voice, and you will get him interested. Kids at this age are beginning to want control, so don't make it a battle. Show him you are interested, and he will be too!
I'm a former middle school teacher. I taught Reading and English primarily, but I also taught Science and Social Studies. For the past 5 years I've been staying at home with my 2 pre-kindergarten girls, and I've kept up my teaching certification by taking college classes specifically for reading where I attained my Reading Endorsement. These classes have really helped me with my own children.
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S.S.
answers from
Atlanta
on
Make the story interactive. As you are reading and he is busy being busy, pick out parts of the story that can be acted out. When the bunny hops, say "can you hop like the bunny?" This will help your son to love books which will ultimately help him to love to learn in a school setting. Hope this helps, S.
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D.S.
answers from
Atlanta
on
Hi, this is D.. I am a 47 mother of 7, 5 still at home, youngest 22months. I am a SAHM too AND A WAHM. When children are young, they do better if you show them pictures, tell them what it is, like apple, describe it, like red, starts with letter A and show them a letter A. As they get older they will be more interested in listening to you read. I can remember potty training one of my boys, sitting there for 1/2 hour at a time reading as he was going #2. Not all of them were like him. My oldest, now 24, would sit with me every afternoon for probably 1/2 hour - 1 hour reading when she was 2-4. She knew her numbers, alphabet, some reading, writing, and math before she ever started kindergarden. She was blessed to be #1. Hope this helps.
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V.E.
answers from
Atlanta
on
With my hyperactive grandson I found there were only a few books that would keep his attention. They were the books on animals, snakes, heavy construction equipment and trucks. He also liked "The Little Train that could". He also never liked cartoons but would sit and watch nature shows and found them facinating. I think it's a matter of finding what is interesting to your child. ON a walk through the woods he would see what no one else ever saw.
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W.J.
answers from
Spartanburg
on
Hi! You are expecting a little too much from a 19 month old toddler boy to sit still longer than 5 seconds. Boys are more hands on they imaginative at this age but they are listening. So read short books about what he is interested in, bugs, leaves, rocks, blocks, trucks and then play with those things with him and remind him of things in the book or show him pictures in the book as you play. It worked for my son and it worked for my grandson and other boys I taught in my Bible School Classes. Give it a try and see how he responds to it. Good luck. W. J
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A.P.
answers from
Atlanta
on
I have a 4 year old and had the same issue up until he was about 3. He just settled down and now he wants to read every night-he will sit still and listen. I was sooooo worried because most of my friends children would sit and listen to a book. Some children are just busy by nature (especially boys) and it's perfectly normal. My 4 year old used to run me into the ground, and still does at times. It gets a bit easier as they get older.
Like you,I used to read while he played in his room. At times he would come over and look at the book and go back and play. We also used to read alot of flap books, and interactive books. They worked some of the time, but there were times that he was too busy to take part in the book. So, try not to worry, just know that you are doing all of the right things.
A litttle about me:
I have a 4 year old and a 2 year old girl. I stay exhausted most of the time.