RE: To Fix or Not Fix...

I don't have boys but a friend of mine had her 2 year old circumcised (they adopted him, but it wasn't final until he was 2), and he had no problems at all. I can't say what you should do, only you & hubby can agree on that, but I hope it helps anyway.

D.

A few things to think about. Yes, right now you are able to keep it clean, but what about when he starts school. It will become more and more difficult and increase the risk of infections. My son is 5 and in no way I am allowed to help him clean himself. He says he is to big ;). All I get to do is wash his hair. Also someone else already mentioned this but they can and do get erections from a very young age. I would be worried that it was scar him emotionally if every time he had an erection as a child it was painful. How will that effect him as an adult. On the note of GA, my daughter had it at 2, 4, and 5 with no problems. The staff at Children's Hospital Oakland are great with them. Its a tough decision. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Your husband and doctor need to read up on childhood trauma. Children are deeply affected by trauma and putting a toddler through an unnecessary surgery would certailny cause trauma. Read up so you can speak about it, but essentially trauma rewires the nervous system in children who allegedly can't remember. The mind may not remember, but the body does. My son had emergency surgery when he was 2.5 and he not only has some memory of it, like the ambulance rides, but suffers from post traumatic stress disorder and we are currently working through that. These books were recommended to me and I recommend them to you, you will be amazed at how even small things can affect a child, then the big things really are traumatic. Check out Peter Levine's books: "Trauma-Proofing Your Kids: A Parents' Guide for Instilling Confidence, Joy and Resilience" and "Trauma Through a Child's Eyes: Awakening the Ordinary Miracle of Healing." Good luck and be strong and knowledgable!

Dear Amy,
I think you should have the repair done now. It's one of those things that's much easier to take care of young.
GA is scary, but they are so carefully monitored. And the reason for needing it is to keep the child completely still for one thing and sleeping through the procedure is far less traumatic. I worked for a pediatric dental specialist and you'd be surprised how many kids have to have dental work at the hospital under GA because even with nitrus, they are fearfull and can't be still enough to get the treatment they need. I'm not talking about simple teeth cleaning. Some poor little kids get absesses and things that simply cannot be put off until they're older or ready. That just isn't an option. With the child asleep, the whole thing can be handled in a matter of minutes as opposed to struggling to get it done with a frightened, screaming, and biting child. It's far less traumatic to let them be out during the whole thing. Your son's procudure will be done and over in far less time than you've agonized about it. His winkie will be sore, but he'll recover and have far less memory of it if you take care of it now.
That's just my opinion and I know it's a very personal decision. I have a son and if it was me, I would just get it taken care of. He'll heal quickly and just be able to get on with being a busy, happy, growing little boy.

Best wishes!

Just because a surgical recovery didn't go exactly as planned isn't a sign of failure or poor decision making on your part or your husbands. Please don't blame each other - simply see the problem for what it is and move on. By the way, as parents you are in charge of ALL personal decisions and teachings for your children-everything from their food intake to their religion. Even if you chose no circumcision, it is still a choice you made. Personally I recommend just getting it fixed asap. It is less painful to fix when they are young than later on. Unfixed it might cause painful erections as he gets older. It can reduce the risk of infection. I'm not sure how it looks exactly, but it will probably save him from riducule later in life from other boys that he is neither circumcised or uncircumcised looking. And young women are not always kind either - they could be unkind as well once he starts into the sexual activity realm if he looks different or has pain with activity. I know it's hard to think that far down the road-but that's why you asked on Mamasource right? To gain a variety of insights you don't have yourself at the moment. My friends 1 year old had to have GA to undergo clearing a clogged tear duct and it wasn't a big deal at all. Kid was just fine. Went to daycare the very next day with no issues. I had GA at age 4 (I remember being in the hospital afterwards but no real scary memories) and again at age 11 ( I remember a lot; crying being carried into the hospital because I was scared, the mask on my face, the smell of the anesthetic gas etc.) In my opinion younger is better-less memories. Anyway good luck on your decision. Remember no matter what-you and hubby are good parents!

If it was my son I would do it now. It is going to be so imbarresing when he gets older, and if it causes painful errection, then what about how even as little kids they get natural errections in the morning and what not. Its gotta be difficult but if u know any older boys maybe ask their opinion or even other men. its going to be alot less tramatic at this age. Good luck, hope all goes well.

The girl that sits next to me at work went through this with her son, she decided not to circumsize initially, but I guess one side was always sort of attached, he was born that way. Later on, as he got older, he was having frequent infections and problems with it and he was being teased at school for looking different. (he was around 12-I guess in the bathroom? Not sure how other 12 yr old boys were able to see it and tease him about it but it was happening.) They went ahead and did the circumsision, he remembers it, but it wasn't a big deal. They are very happy they had it done, no more problems. If I were you, I'd go ahead and do it now. It was traumatic for him being older, I'd do it while he can't remember. Its your decision though, good luck!

Personally if I felt it would cause him pain later and this surgery would fix that now I would do it. If it is just cosmetic I would say no. Get a second opinion from a Urologist.

you should do it. you're aware of boys have erections even at young age. he will experience pain even before he's aware of what is going on. get it fixed. like you said, you don't know since you're a woman and if husband and pediatrician are recommending it, then go for it.

get it done! you've already said you have regret....don't continue to regret throughout your life then crying about it later.

as a toddler, he can get into his diaper now, so make sure you know AHEAD of time what to expect from the healing process.

Yes, anytime our kids "go under" it's scary, but we live in a world of professional (most of the time).

Be brave. Pray for strength. get it done and over with so you can move on from this situation forever!

Good Luck!

~N. :o)

Men & their body parts! I'm sure some of your husband's reasoning is that he wants his boy to look like him. That's why both our boys were circumcised in the first place. I also agree that now is a good time to do it when he's not as aware or can build up fears in his mind. If you wait til he's older, he will have a better understanding of surgery in general, so he will probably be more scared. Our son was 4 & had tubes put in his ears. Teh pre-op appointemtn was completely geared to him & hi slevel of understanding. I also read him books by Usbourne (can buy at Barnes & Noble or on-line at the Usbourne web site) that talked about going to the hospital. We also got him a doctor kit so he could be like the doctor who was gonna put in his tubes. It may be a hard concept for a 2 yo old to grasp but just keep the conversations short & simple...don't use a lot fo words & keep it at his level. Best of luck!

My son had the same thing and had it fixed at age two. Do it! he will suffer more when he is older. We did and he had no trouble recovering.

I've heard that it's more painful when they're older.

Also for consideration is that circumcisions help reduce incidents of cervical cancer in women. I think that's because circumcised men are not as prone to carrying the viruses (HPV) that can lead to cervical cancer. Think of it as potentially saving a woman's life.

Good luck.

Fix it! GA is scary but he will be fine. You said there is no real problem expect possible infections and painful erections...do you really want to deal with infections or the pain, yes kids get erections, it just happens. My grandfather in-law had to be circumcised as an adult and it he had horrible memories from it. Do it now while your son will still forget about it.

I had to read your post several times to make sure that you weren't looking for a justification or cop out by waiting until the child can make the decision. With 3 sons we had them circumcised becasue my husband insisted on it, my siser choose not to with her boys. They have had many problems and one was a teen when they had to finally dothe process. Not only was it more painful but horribly embarassing forthe teen. Believe me they couldn't do this with a local, the teen needed to be asleep and not have a memory of the process. I totally agree with your husband and the doctor. Since your husband is a man he understand this in away that a woman wouldn't. Let him take the leadership on this subject. Good Luck

painful erections. . yikes. I understand your concern, but I think you need to get this fixed for him. Its too late to go back and undo, but you should fix it to make it right (don't leave it to be fixed later when he is older and it is more complicated). It would be too sad to deal with the emotional and physical toll painful erections (and other issues) will take on him. I am neither pro nor against, but lately leaning against cirumcision just because of storied like yours, and due to the fact that not circumsizing is becoming more common so there is not so much of the not looking the same as other boys isse.

the same thing happened to my nephew and my sister waited until he was 9 - what a regret. it became a big deal for him and she really wishes she had done it earlier.

My friend's son had it done at age 9, and supposedly had quite an uncomfortable recovery. That was a few years ago, and everything is perfectly fine now. It was recommended that he have it done because of recurring infections or some other recurring issue.
Just wanted to share another experience with you. I know you have a lot to think about. Good luck with whatever decision you make!

GA is truly nothing. I had great fears as well when my daughter had to be put under at 6 months and again 8 months, and 1 year. You truly make it out to be more than it is. My sister is a nurse and was very reassuring that it is a daily routine in pediatrics. They even have drugs to help children who may have dif. under GA. I am with your husband and pediatrician on this. Just think of the preemies and newborns who have to go straight into surgery after being born. They make it! Please remingd yourself that at some pt, he will have to have GA for something.

Good Luck