My 4 month old son is a doll, when he's happy but when he's had enough he's had enough. But there is absolutely no way to comfort him without me nursing him. I'm at a loss..he doesn't take a pacifier, shows no signs of calming down with rocking, swaddling bouncing, swinging etc..The problem is two fold, one I can't leave him with anyone for more than an hour without him screaming hysterically for hours on end. For example, I had to take my first to the dr.s today and left him with the hubby. The hubby said he tried feeding him, giving him the pacifier, rocking him, bouncing him, eventually he had to put him in the swing and leave him there where he cried hysterically non stop for 45 minutes straight, until he fell asleep for a 1/2 hour to only wake up screaming again...sigh for the hubby ::(
The second problem is I'm exhausted. I've resorted to co sleeping to help with the non stop nursing, but am dreading the consequences for reinforcing this behavior. I can eventually get him back to sleep without nursing but only with extreme measures, I have to literally hold the poor baby against my chest so he can't move at all, and pat his butt hard. But he still screams 20-30 minutes and let me tell you he has a temper. And then he only sleeps about a hr and the whole thing starts over again. This is just not conducive to our sleeping arrangements, with a light sleeping toddler and a hubby who has to work, I'm looking for any suggestions on how to wean away from frequent non nutritive night nursing and day nursing.
I feel like I'm shoving my boob in this kids face whenever he's cranky just because I don't know how to calm him down. So different from my first. Just holding my first calmed him down. Not this kiddo, you can cuddle and coddle this kid and he's still screaming and kicking. And it basically doesn't stop until he falls asleep??? I know this is just a phase, but wondering if we find other measures to comfort if it would pass quicker...
BTW he doesn't need to nurse this frequent his a huge 16 lb 4 month old, he gets active floor time, outdoor time etc, He seems otherwise healthy. Just very hard to read and calm down ...Any suggestions....
I totally recommend the baby whisperer, Tracy Hoggs. She has a lot of tips in her books about breaking babies of bad habits and alternative comfort methods. She has secrets of the baby whisperer and, I think the second is called even more secrets of the baby whisperer.
Nursing the kid in bed with you is definitely the best thing to do in my opinion, and carry him in a sling so you can nurse him while you are not holding him and he is close to you.
I always took my kid to the doctor with me, and she also would not take a pacifier or calm down easily without a bosom to pat and cuddle against. 16 lbs is a big baby, but you must have AWESOME milk!!!! No wonder your boobs rock his tiny world!
I think nursing is so much better than any of the other typical ways of calming a baby down, and I think while you're really tired, it's just harder. I feel for ya momma, but I think taking him to bed and sleeping with him so you'll be able to nurse and cuddle and calm him a lot easier, as well as get your needed rest. It's the smart thing to do. Cuddling and giving the nunu is just part of being a mommy. He'll become so independent if you don't deny it, and try to enjoy it more. Your big/tiny boy is going to be amazing soon!!!
Take care!!
Oh, that is so hard! I'm sorry, I don't have any specific suggestions. But wanted to say that I wouldn't worry about creating bad habits at this age. I'd just do whatever works! I remember that my daughter would only sleep on me for, oh, maybe the first 8 months! It was exhausting, but she now sleeps well by herself (she's 2). At least with our daughter, she seemed to go in and out of sleep phases on their own, not because we trained her to sleep by herself. Some phases she slept through the night, others only on me. But I found that when I tried to force her sleep style it just made things worse! Your little one will work it out. Hang in there!
I don't really have advice on how to change this, just encouragement that I've been there. My son, now 2 1/2, was the same way and would only be comforted by nursing. I've read a book that refers to these babies as "high needs" and I really think the best thing you can do is not try to change him. He needs that closeness and security from you and providing it will not spoil him, it will make him confident and secure. The way I see it, boobs are our God-given pacifier and there is nothing wrong with using them that way if it works!
My son nursed frequently well into his second year and co-slept with us until 18 months. I nursed him to sleep until he was almost 2, and didn't wean him completely until a couple months ago. And let me tell you, he is the sweetest, most affectionate, nurturing child. And with a little work, he learned to go to bed without nursing and sleeps through the night 11-12 hours every night. He still wants to cuddle all the time and sticks his hand in my shirt when he's upset (working on that one lol). But you're not setting yourself up for a nightmare. He will become more independent when he's ready. My son started doing a lot better with daddy at 6 months when he started solids as that gave him something new & fun to do while I was gone. Also it was way better if they went on an outing together rather than staying home.
He's in the middle of his 4 month growth spurt. FEED him when he's hungry. He's growing super fast, this is the longest, most important growth spurt in the first year, it can last up to a month! so feed him when he's hungry, follow his cues, and go with it. He will soon be over it and back to his happy go lucky self. A growht spurt required feeding when he demands it, you cant' set him into a schedule, you will just upset him and frustrate yourself. Just follow his cues for a while, and relax! It won't last forever.
Maybe he's teething. My son got 3 teeth at 4 months. If you see signs of teething you could try baby orajel and Tylenol. If he isn't teething then stick to a routine, even if he cries, and eventually it will get better. I know it is difficult, we had a similar problem with #1 baby. Another thing that helped was getting a security blanket. Ours is small and soft. Wear it under your shirt for several hours so when you are gone the baby can smell you. Good luck it does get better.
One have you looked at your diet has anything changed? maybe it is a reaction to something in the milk. Otherwise I'm a little stumped because my daughter wouldnt nurse so she had to have a bottle. sounds to me like you might have him checked out for any medical reason. I do know the lavender and chamomile lotion helps calm them down.
Hylands Homeopathic Colic Tablets and gripe water helped with my son. I would restrict your own diet and then slowly add foods. It may be a problem with what you are eating. I was surprised by the foods by baby boy could not tolerate. Remember it will pass and the very best thing you can do is breastfeed your baby!!
I had the same situation as you. Both my daughter's co-slept and in the early months I sometimes slept in the babies room so my husband could sleep. Do what you need to do. Some babies are sleepers and some cry alot. Mine cried alot and and did the restricted diet, gripe water, etc. I did think Gripe water helped a little. It's not your fault and it will pass.
