Re: Bullies - and Still Thank You for the Advice.

Usually these stories have a hint of meanness but yours does not. Why should those girls have played with your daughter? Just because they are there and she is there doesn't mean they need to play together.

From time to time this happens with my daughter, I tell her not everyone is going to like you. There are also times she doesn't want to play with another child, I don't make her.

Sorry but the other mom was right and calling her daughter a bully was the only rude thing said.

I am sorry I know this seems mean but I really do think you were the only rude person on that playground.

Maybe it is because my younger son has Autism spectrum so he really doesn't get social cues that I see both sides of this. A lot of kids don't want to play with him because he seems strange. No worries, he is strange. Yet I explain what is going on and am always amazed how many of those same kids would take him under their wing. Even if they didn't I wouldn't call them bullies for it, they are just kids.

I'm sorry - what was rude was telling a stranger that her child is a bully.

Just because kids are at a playground does NOT mean they MUST play together. **THAT** is life. Not everyone gets along. Even as adults.

Let me get this straight... A little girl comes to the responsible adult for help, and you not only don't help her but read her the riot act? And then track down her mother and read her the riot act as well? Calling her daughter a bully when your daughter wasn't listening to repeated requests and attempts to leave her and the others alone?

But who is the bully/rude one?

I'm hoping that this was just an off day for you. Coming to the responsible adult and asking for help is a GOOD thing for kids to be doing, and a real mark of maturity.

Hmmm... hate it when the question is removed before I get a chance to read it.
Glad the 3 ladies who responded were able to help. They give good advice, those three.

Wish I could have seen the original question.
Bullying is an ongoing thing between two people or more for a period of time.
One time incidents at a playground wouldnt count as "bullying" really... at least not now that's it's taken on a NEW meaning for this decade/century.
I totally remember when I was little and playing with my cousins at a park and thinking we "owned" the equipment... kind of a child fantasy phase, and you don't want "intruders". Kids are like that sometimes. You can't always make friends at a public playground or park no matter how hard you want to or how hard you try. Some days it's just not in the cards.
We preach to our kids to be nice to others, but in some venues, I believe, that kids get a little territorial.... its sort of human nature.

The only problem I see here is word choice, and don't we all do that at some time or another.

I have found that it really doesn't do any good to talk to Mom in these situations becuase you'll not be seeing these people again.

I would have tried to go on the playground and play with my child to distract her from the rude treatment.

Parenting is an on going learning experience and we don't all see things the same way. Some people don't feel the need to teach their children to play nicely, they just let them play. I've always been the parent that insisted my children play nicely.

At our neighborhood pool last summer I was so upset because a kid (who is an on again off again friend of my son) was playing a game and my son asked nicely if he could play. The response was "no, we've already chosen teams". My response as a parent would have been "everyone can play, there is no reason you can't add little Johnny to the game" but his Mom said nothing. Different strokes for different folks.

My boys and I discussed the situation and how it should have been handled on the way home from the pool that day.

Take care,

M.