All 3 of my kids are in 2 activities each. My boys, 4 and 6, are in flag football and Tae Kwon Do. 2 nights of football and 2 classes of Tae Kwon Do. My daughter, almost 8, is a competitive dancer and takes 2 Tae Kwon Do classes a week. They now REALLY dislike (on the verge of hate) Tae Kwon Do. I talked to the school 2 months ago and again today. They have told me we can simply stop paying and stop coming. GREAT NEWS! Especially because it costs $200 a month! But I don't know if my kids are just overloaded right now or if they are really done with it. I won't sign them up again for some time if they quit it, but I really think they would rather be outside playing then at class or practice 4 nights a week. I do not want to give them the impression that it is okay to quit something though. Thoughts?
You all have made a fabulous point - they are not quitting, just ending. Of course now both of my boys want to continue, so I need to let them figure out if they do or don't, but if they still fight it, we're stopping. I think a break this summer would be great too. Not to mention the 15 mile drive each way in traffic in my Armada (aka gas guzzler). So if they are still okay with stopping, now that they have the option, we are stopping. I'll be so excited to have the extra $600 that would be going to TKD to put towards our debt pay down!
Would you want to be forced to go to a class you had no interest in?
Nothing is forever, they did their time, let them try something new.
So, the older 2 have school, homework, and then 2 sets of lessons, practices, etc, a week, correct? When do they have time to breathe or just be kids? 4 nights just sounds like too much.
If it were a team sport, I would make them stick it out. Since it sounds like it's not, I say dis-enroll them.
They don't like it. You are paying $200 a month to take them to something they don't like. Sounds crazy to me. Quit! Playing outside is better than sitting in a Tae Kwon Do class anyways. We signed up for a month of it, to test the class out. By the end of the month my son was bored out of his mind..didn't like it at all.
It IS okay to quit something. YOu don't make yourself pay to do things you hate, right? I know I don't!
L.
If they do not like it let them stop. There is nothing wrong with quitting an activity if it is no longer enjoyable.
I think it would be okay to let them quit, since they all have one activity that they love to do. If it was a constant pattern of them wanting to quit EVERYTHING they start then I would say they should stick with it. But since they are already in one activity plus they have school, let them quit. Especially since they are only 4, 6, and 8. They are only kids once. Let them have some down time when they can go outside and play and be kids. They have plenty of time (like when they're in high school) to be overscheduled. :-)
If they hate it, and it's not a sport with a "season" per se...why would they keep going? For how long? Forever?
I don't believe in quiting half way through a season. I think that is what gives kids the idea that it's okay to quit if you don't like something. And when you are on a team you have a responsibility to your team mates to uphold your commitment. It sounds like Tae Kwan Do is an ongoing event, which give me the impression you can end whenever you want, so I don't really see that as quiting, just stopping. But if it does have an end date, I would be more inclined to make the stick it out.
If they hate it that bad i would definitely let them quit. Think of all the money and hassle you will save yourself. And honestly-I do think it is ok to quit something if you don't like it. So you should send the message to keep at something even though you are miserable? I want my boys to have the freedom of knowing they are not locked into something forever just because they "joined". To me this is how people wind up and stay in dead end jobs-they don't want to quit something.
I have mixed emotions ~ I wouldn't let my kids quit a sport, like baseball or football, during a season but I understand Tae Kwon Do may not have an actual start and stop to it. Is that correct? If so, then I would have them complete whatever phase they are in, like getting to the next belt, then let them stop.
they hate it, it's ridiculously expensive, and they're STILL going to be in other activities. don't give it another thought.
I second Kiran. That's WAY too much for a kid. Drop the tae kwon do.
Take them out! That's too much for a 4 and 6 year old to be doing. At that age they should be doing 1 activity at a time -TOPS -especially if they're in school or preschool. Kids need downtime and time to just play and be kids -and even to be bored! They probably had rather be outside. Overscheduling our children has lead to some big problems. At their ages, it's fine to let them know since they don't like it and no one is out anything by stopping -that they can stop. It's not like they're on a team that they're leaving mid-season. Even then -and I've been through this -if they're miserable, there's no reason to continue. There's plenty of time for them to learn that you need to follow through on your commitments, but with something like Tae Kwon Do that's a class -it's fine to stop! If you signed up for a pilates or aerobics class that you hated and could stop any time with no obligation -wouldn't you?
I would let my daughter quit any extra curricular activity she said she hated. Those activities are supposed to be fun, and if they're not enjoying it, you're wasting your money, the instructor's time, and the kids' energy.
They tried it, they didn't like it. Good for them! Being a kid means trying stuff out, seeing what you like. If they don't get to quit, you may be setting them up to resist new things.
I thInk they sound overloaded and are trying to tell you something. Does his class have any end in sight? If not I would let them stop for your sanity and theirs. They do need time to be outdoors and just play. I am trying to limit my 4 year old to one night a week and the 8 year old to 2 nIghts a week. Anything more is just too much.
They hate it and it's 4 nights a week. That sounds awful to me and I would let them quit no problem. I understand wanting them to finish something they started and not quitting, but honestly I have let my boys quit things they truly hated. When kids get into all sorts of things they are going to find they just don't like some things and I think forcing them to finish every single thing they try is not the way to go. I say save the money, let the kids enjoy other things, and see in the future if they want to take it up again or not.
By all means save yourself the time and money and let them quit! They will have more energy to focus on the activities they love.
I think the notion of "nobody likes a quitter" is so ingrained in our heads that we forget that it IS ok to quit sometimes. Who hasn't quit a crappy job? Or quit a hobby or activity that we just don't find enjoyable anymore? If I hadn't quit going to the gym (which I used to enjoy but began to despise) I never would have discovered Jazzercise, which I LOVE!
Team sports where other players are counting on you - no, you finish the season. Tae Kwon Do is not a team sport however. Let them take a break; they may decide to go back in a few months, or they may truly be burned out for good. My son took Tung Soo Do (like Tae Kwon Do) for 8 months, 3-4 classes a week. By the end he hated it, it was a huge fight to get him to go. When our contract expired we took a break. A year later we tried a class at the Y, still hated it. He has found his passion in soccer, 2+ practices a week, games, and tournaments - but we rarely have to argue with him to go.
I would take the time to sit down with each child alone and talk to them about their reasons of wanting to stop. It may be that they heard the other one say it and are being swayed by that idea. I think if they need a break they should be able to take one too. I don't want to sit and read every day but if I get a really good book I don't want to do anything else for a while. It's the same with kids. Maybe they want to do something else for a bit.
I don't believe in "quitting" a sport but Tae Kwon Do is not like a typical sport where you have a set period that you have signed up for or a season. I also think that 4 yrs old is too young for structured activities/team sports. My rule of thumb was always one sport per season and I did allow scouts year-round.
To stop attending an activity that is no longer enjoyed is different than "quitting". Quitting is pulling out right before a recital, or taking someone else's spot on a team and deciding mid-way thru a season you don't want to play for the team anymore. Your kids are young; they need downtime, and why not make life easier, simpler, and less expensive for you? Let them stop!!!
Of course it is your choice whether to allow them to quit. Not all kids take to all sports/activities. And I'll also admit my bias right up front. I am training for my Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do and plan to have it by August (I'm 50). My daughter who is 9 is also in classes and has a Blue Belt now. I have a strong belief that martial arts are an extremely beneficial skill and actvity in so many ways. Self-defense, confidence, physical strength and endurance, flexibility, focus, accomplishment...
I would want to investigate why they all hate Tae Kwon Do. How long have they been in it? Is it the instructor(s), or is it hard, or what? Good instructors will make class fun and rewarding, but challenging.
A friend of mine had a daughter (now 11) who complained about going to class and wanted to quit. They said "no" and stuck with "no" for over a year. She eventually earned her Black Belt and she is so totally, awesomely, proud of herself, for getting to the goal.
No, martial arts does not have a season, or a team to let down. And yes, you can train and study it "forever" as in for a lifetime.
I'm not going to let my daughter quit, but if I did, I would make her commit to something to replace this. Because when she doesn't want to go to class, it's because she wants to stay on the couch and watch cartoons.
