Quick Poll #3 - Fulton,CA

Yes! Well, it's an absolute again so it's probably not 100% but I think it's pretty close. Yes, I think initiative is attractive in a man...and most all people as well. And lack of initiative....definitely unappealing.

Yes!!! Well, probably not all females. I don't think you can say all of any group want the same thing exactly. But, for me, absolutely! It marks a leader, a strong, capable man. I would never be able to cope with a man who was lazy, lacked initiative, waited for others to get the job done. No thanks!

I haven't read your other polls but I will say.... I like a agressive personality and someone with a lot of initiative.

When I see this type of personality, I see success because no one is sitting on their rear waiting for things to happen... we agressors and initiators make success.... Failure is not an option.

As for the bedroom... I like agression and initiative there are well. it is pretty balanced in my life.

Rosebud, I love that you're trying to teach your son about how women think. Your son is a lucky young man.

I do expect my husband to take the initiative on things. When he doesn't though, I am willing to do it. (Even when I don't want to.)

While you're talking to your son about what women want, please teach him that some women will expect him to be a mind reader. He should learn to read between the lines...or find a woman who's not afraid to speak her mind.

You're a great mom for talking to your son about these things.

Doesn't everyone want a partner with initiative? I don't think it's exclusive to one sex.

Perfect! Much better than aggressor, although, I say again, I do understand what you were after with that.

Please impress upon your son that initiative goes with everything, from the way he dresses (girls really DON'T want to see his undies because he wears his pants below his butt), to the way he speaks (the f-bomb is no one's friend), to the way he conducts himself when grown-ups aren't watching. It takes a man with initiative to do well in all these areas. Because, bottom line, girls want a guy who can protect and provide for them. (That's not to say girls can't do that themselves, but it's nice to have someone who has your back, right?)

We talk a lot about this in my classroom (I teach 9-12 grade) and my students say, year after year...for nearly 20 years now...that the difference between a man and a "guy" is that men take responsibility for their actions and motives and guys don't. Thank, good night, amen. Even the most "guy" of my guys gets this. Initiative sums it up so very well.

A fun activity at this point, if you haven't already done it, is to watch movies from various decades to see if he can spot the men with initiative. I like the old 1930s swashbuckling films, like "Mark of Zorro" with Tyronne Power and "Adventures of Robin Hood" with Errol Flynn. Then, find your favorite 1940s film, favorite 1950s film, and so on through the decades. Compare and contrast them. What characters show the best initiative. Then, you can branch into books: sci fi, literature, westerns. What does he find there? What about different tv shows? Show him your favorites from when you were a kid and have him show you his. Discuss. The big finale would be to find examples in the world he lives in.

My sons and I do this and it's great, great fun!

Did I mention I'm a teacher?! <wink> Sorry...it's August and I'm in major lesson plan mode for a Leadership class!

Good luck!

I don't know if you can say all females want the same one thing in a man. My boys are teenagers and I get that we moms want our boys to grow up with character qualities that will make them attractive to the opposite sex.
But what I really want is for my boys to be confident about themselves, and who they are as individuals. Then they will attract the kind of woman who will want the kind of man my boys have become.

maybe explain to him that its desirable to women to have a man that works, has money, takes the initiative to get things done, they want someone that can make a good life with and could be a good family man.

I read your other two polls, and I totally got what you were trying to say. And yes, I agree, most women want the man to be the initiator. There are those that have embraced the women's lib movement and don't want men to do anything for them, which has put men in a prediciment to not do anything for any woman. But I think there are still a lot of women out there single and lonely because they don't think it's their job to make the first call, or make the first move, etc. Men would probably say, well that's their problem. But really, I believe that men and women have certain roles to play and they need to play them for us to be in a state of equalibrium (something men and women have not been in for a long time).

haha, yes!!

ETA: How about "The vast majority of females look for initiative in a male."

Yes but men want initiative too!

My answer hasn't changed....

haha! Yes, initiative is a good word for that (I think I knew what you were meaning before!!).

I don't think you can lump everyone into one thing, though. That very, very rarely works. If you said that 90% of women want a guy with initiative, I think that would be much more accurate. Or maybe even 95% of women. But I know women who want a man they can control and dominate and basically turn them into their (the woman's) little puppet. My sister seems offended when guys have initiative and take charge in ANY way. Somehow it's disrespectful to her...or to the woman the guy is with. She is VERY much the one who wears the pants and is in control of everything. I'm not sure why she wants to control so much, it's unhealthy...but I know other women who are similar. Though, I have no doubt my sister would say she'd like a guy with initiative (I don't think she realizes how controlling she is!).

I LOVE that my husband can take charge when needed and has initiative. I find it VERY unattractive when a man doesn't have that. I dated a guy that had no initiative. He wanted me to decide on EVERYTHING. He couldn't make a decision to save his life. It drove me insane. He seemed to have no back bone, and I like having a guy that can stand up to me and not be pushed over...but not that he's controlling of me. Just that he's not ran over by me at all (I can be pretty opinionated and stubborn at times!). I like my man to take the lead...not to be confused with him ignoring me and my feelings. I like him to take the lead and to care deeply about what I think/feel at the same time.

Anyway, so if you modified your statement to your son and said that 95% of women like initiative in a guy, I think that would be pretty accurate.

Lol. Yes. :)
Who wants a loafer?

They do in most everything, sexuality, dates, cleaning (lol). I like a self-motivated kind of guy who will initiate things half the time or a little more. As long as he doesn't drown a woman in so much initiative (like everything is on him) then he'll be fine.
I too think it's great you teach your son these things.

Like Momma L said there are women who need a man to take care of. I had a coworker in the Marines that was such a jerk as a boyfriend to his girl (good friend, bad boyfriend) but she NEEDED him around to take care of when he was hung over and lecture him like a child... some people just need that lol

I don't think anyone could ever write a question that everyone will fully agree on... I'd be proud that it seems like a majority of everyone agrees with ya :)

Absolutely!!!

I second the fact you're a great mom for teaching your son these things...It is something I want to teach my kids as they get older.

Change it to MAJORITY, instead of all. ALL woman can't fit into one category. You'll lose out on a technicality again!!