I'm going to be as detailed as possible about what I do because I feel I am extremely underpaid for my position, and I would like advice from other people who have experience nannying/paying a nanny for a brain damaged child. Or really anyone with factful insight!
I am almost 23 years old, I live in South Carolina, and in October 2012 I started working for a family with a 2 year old that was recently brain damaged by vaccines at 19 months old. I was hired shortly before the mother was due to give birth to her second child. I want to leave names out so, lets say "A" is the brain damaged child. With A's condition, she cannot be unsupervised. She cannot walk without holding her up, she just recently learned to cruise crawl since Ive been employed, she can eat but not on her own and she cannot chew. She has issues with vision, depth perception, balance, sensory, gross and fine motor, speech, emotion, and control of her body. Caring for her is very physically taxing, energentically draining and mentally frustrating (especially when shes off her nap schedule or sick etc). She has 8 therapies a week which I transport her to and from, using the mothers vehicle, but I go on my own as the mother is home with the newborn. The mother stopped working when A became sick, but I still have most care of A since she is occupied with the newborn. I help out with the newborn when necessary, or if A is sleeping etc. I do the dishes several times a day, even ones that arent the childs, I have been asked on more than one occasion to help with laundry, vaccuming, or even putting clean sheets on the guest bed. I also helped packing up boxes when they bought a new house. I wear many hats in this job. I have also done some groceries for them. On many occasions I am asked to do things while I'm eating my lunch/on my break, which is A's morning nap time. Once I put her to sleep, that period of time is the only time I have to give my body a break/relax/get things done for my personal responsibilities. The fact that numerous times I've been asked to get up and vaccum or this and that during my short break has peeved me. And with that information, I dont mind wearing the many hats, if I were at least compensated properly. Here is the financial background of this job;
When I was hired, I had been out of work for months and agreed on $350 a week (Mon-Fri) for up to 40 hours. Upon making that agreement, my shifts so far had been short since the newborn wasnt around, and so the less hours made my hourly average out to something fair enough. I agreed to what the mother said would be an occasional saturday once the baby came, and be compensated hourly for such shifts. In the agreement it was stated that I can be absent one day a week without being financially punished (such as a sick day etc).
Once the newborn arrived, the game completely changed. That occasional saturday turned into every single saturday, so I was going over 40 hours at points, and for Mon-Fri my 350 started to average out at 8.75 an hour! And that is the rate she would pay me at for each saturday depending how long I was there on Sat. I also have done 7 day weeks to accomidate them. Also keep in mind that if I went over 40 hours, I was not earning overtime rates. I went to the mother and said I wasnt able to be working 6 days a week (leaving me no time for a second job) and still having to count pennies. Not to mention my job is worth way more than 8.75 an hour. Her excuse was its under the table so if I made 10 an hour and paid taxes, I would break at 8.75. I explained to her that 10 is still under market, but I would take 10 an hour. She agreed, and then we had to start keeping track of hours. Of course, once this happened, the long shifts seemed to come very less frequently, so I was working just 35 hours a lot, which means still, 350 for 6 days. I also recieve no benefits, and I must provide all my own food. It seemed to backfire on me that I asked for more hourly, because they just cut back on hours and then its frustrating, because I'm still not making more, and still counting pennies. There are some weeks Ill work around 40, but rarely more than that. I write down my arrival and departure time to the minute, but she "rounds up and down" so we always calculate different weekly hours (hers always lower of course). There are a lot of little examples I could type up of her cutting out chunks of time to make my check lower, or not giving me more than a days holiday time when we both had family in town (so she had helping hands).
I started to research nanny rates, and they are through the roof compared to mine...and thats for normally functioning children! What I do is extremely different. I lay in bed at night with nerve pain shooting down my shoulders and arms from all the physical stress of it. Nanny salary polls also showed not only that they get amazing wages but health benefits, food, and paid time off! I need to be making more money because I have a lot in my life to handle, and when I run into emergencies I never have saved funds, because theres never extra! I always have to turn to family and I hate that so much. I want to be able to stand on my two feet honestly, and I love my job, I love the children, I just know Im being taken advantage of. Please, does anyone have rate ranges for me to consider? I am going to ask for more again soon because they pay me out of a donation fund they have set up (so not even their own pockets), and its being turned into a trust. When that happens it will become a legally taxed job out of the trust, and so money will soon be brought up again. I know I will have to face them and make my worth known, I just want to come at it from an educated and researched angle, and know that what I ask for is market price and reasonable and fair for both parties. What are going rates for such a demanding special needs child, functioning newborn, and house chores? Any rates you state, please let me know if you mean before or after taxes. Thank you for your help!!
--A desperate honestly hardworking nanny
In response to Jo W. -- I pretty much live with these people, I am quite aware of their financials, and see the ridiculous splurges they make on material things, versus taking financial care of their nanny. And like I said, they pay me from a donations fund, its not even denting their wallets. As for cutting hours, their situation doesnt allow it, the father works all the time and if hes not there, theres no way the mother could do it on her own
For everyone with the brain damage and vaccine issue, I am present at all doctor/hospital appointments and I know all of her medical history, theres nothing fishy going on in that aspect.
As for under the table, that wasnt my choice. She pretty much refused to have it the other way around -- she did not want to do taxes etc, maybe I am in the wrong for complying, but I dont do it for some sort of "reward". I have no issue with having a taxed income.
And then for compassion for her situation, why do you think Im still with this family, underpaid or not?? Yes my hours are around 40, but Im there 6 days, occasionally 7 days a week. I LOVE this child, she is hard to handle and can be very frustrating but I love and I feel for the situation. I understand how shes going to always need help, and her sister will turn out perfectly healthy. And yes, they do have crazy medical expenses, but they also have crazy resources that PAY for most of it. You would think that with all these medical expenses and needing a lot of help from a nanny that they wouldnt be so wasteful on material things right? Well, wrong, because they spend crazy money on the most unneeded things, instead of putting it aside for the right things, like medical costs and childcare
I make $12/hr caring for a severely disabled boy in MY home. His parents were paying twice as much for care in his home. Btw, when I provide weekend respite care for him, the state pays me $11.75 and his parents pay me an extra $5/hr because they understand weekends are my family time and want to make it worth my time.
There is more to this abusive relationship than just the hourly rate.
Yes, you should call agencies and ask what care givers of in-home, special needs individuals receive.
From what I understand, parents with a disabled child as you describe are able to hire trained help and they have an hourly rate that is compensated for by either their insurance or the government.
They are protecting their 'fund' by paying you under the table and not paying the fair market value for your services.
Also, I don't believe their story about the child becoming so brain damaged from vaccinations. There is something overall fishy in that story and disrespectful of your personal time and financial well being of your own future. A real, concerned family would look out for what is right and fair and best for you as well, as it leads to a mutually beneficial relationship and not one that develops resentment...thus your reason for being here and venting.
In a nutshell, you definitely sound over worked and under paid and you are being taken advantage of to the point you cannot tend to your own personal needs. And these people don't care about your personally - obviously. They care about their own pocket book.
I have known plenty of families with a severely disabled child who hire domestic help and compensate them very fairly, even through their foundations and funds that have been set up to care for the child. Some of these families have been financially extremely blessed and some have not. Both have had access to long term care costs through either their insurance or the government.
The bottom line, is that they are 'nickel and diming' you for your time when it was in their favor, but not yours. You are right to look around and see what the fair market pays and in the interim keep looking for another position. Because they will not appreciate you until you're gone.
I am a nanny and you should absolutely AT MINIMUM be making at least $15 per hour and earning overtime for any hours over 40. I would check with some nanny agencies in your state too, so they can give you the best answer and possibly a better paying job.
Honey, you don't like your job. You're underpaid. You don't feel valued. It's more physically demanding than you want. And you're pretty sure that they won't agree to pay you more.
It's time to look for another job.
For what it's worth, we paid our nanny $15 an hour three years ago for 45 hours a week. She had health insurance through her parents, but we provided paid vacation for all major holidays and two weeks off during the year. We also provided all of her food. And it was above board, so we paid taxes and she could claim her income.
We've had nannies for about eight years and you should look for another job. Our nannies gets weeks of paid vacation and legally I believe everyone is entitled to a break during the day. Ours certainly get one. We've paid $16 to $20 per hour. Mostly taxed but you are young. You should be building social security and unemployment benefits. I'm sure you love the child but remember they could change things any time and then you don't get to see the child. So protect yourself. Our nanny job has always been easy btw vs a special needs child. These people make me mad. I've never heard of brain damage from vaccines either...
You need to claim your wages. You work under the table you may be saving taxes but you are forgoing legal protection.
Having the protection of fair labor laws is much better than keeping a few hundred dollars a year.
It sounds like all they can afford is 350 a week. Perhaps instead of going around about hourly wages say I will work for say 25 hours for 350. Get there at this time, baby naps after two hours, leave and come back when the baby is awake again. Or you can stay and take a break. Thing is if she is restricted to 25 hours on duty she is going to want you off the clock when the baby is sleeping.
WOW. I could not have done this job at your age. I don't know what is fair, but you need to be employed legally and have worker's comp and unemployment insurance. You need to protect you.
If I were them, I would feel such an appreciation for you and your help that I would take care of you.
you should be making about double what you are.
who is paying your taxes? if they're paying you under the table, are they giving you a 1099?
do not allow yourself to be taken advantage of. you have a relationship with these children and with the family, and it should be good for ALL concerned, not just for them.
treat this as the business it is (even if your heart is involved) and re-negotiate your contract.
khairete
S.
i feel for the family, but i think you should find another job. you are way underpaid. i think you should talk to them, ask them for a raise and if they refuse, quit.
I would call around to agencies and ask questions. I dealt with agencies for elder care and the cost was over twice as much as you make. Once you find out how much you should be earning you need to talk to them about a raise.
You also can call your state's Labor Board and ask questions. These people are your employer and should be paying your social security, unemployment, ect. In my opinion you are getting screwed.
These parents can get SSI and Medical assistance for her.
I am a nanny. I work 40 hrs a week. My primary responsibilities are caring for a 10 month old. I drive the 2 older kids places as needed & I do dishes as needed & kids laundry.
I make $600/Week, plus they pay my gas mileage, & health imsurance.
You are definitely underpaid.
Hello!
Yes, you are underpaid. We have three children and we live in SC. Our nanny has primary responsibility for the youngest (almost 3 yrs old) and picks up our older two from school. She has responsibility for them when they are out, but that is usually 2 hours and they generally have activities. We pay for any days that we take the kids away so that she cannot work (usually about 3-4 weeks a year), all major federal holidays, Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. She works four half days and we pay her $14 an hour. The only housework she does is the kids' laundry and emptying the dishwasher. Occasionally I ask her to cook a meal if I am on work travel. We do report her income and we pay her portion of social security and medicare taxes (so, add another 6.5% to her salary).
Make a list of what you want... how much money per week, what those hours should look like, and the amount charged for an hours beyond that set amount. Also, set the policy on how much notice you require if they need you to work on the weekends, and how many weekends you are available. Also establish how your hours will be calculated. You may just need to tally them up for her every week.
You need to approach both parents with compassion and affection for them, their situation, and their children, but also get them to understand that this is your "real" job and that you need to have these parameters. You need to establish the boundaries and stick with them. My guess is that they do not really have anyone else they trust with their first child, so they use you too often. Help them find other support, too, so that you can get a break.
If this fails, find another job. You can make a good faith effort at having a conversation, but otherwise you can look for something else. They might not change, but you can. If they understand that this is what you need, then they can either meet it or at least appreciate where you are coming from so that you can use them as a reference while you look for something else.
Good luck!
Once again, people are questioning aspects of your story that have nothing to do with your question!! Yes, you are underpaid. I think you need to go to them with the research you have done and ask for a raise/benefits. Don't let people make you feel bad about untaxed wages. If it works for you then go with it.
