My dd's psychiatrist has recommended that she get an Emotional Support Animal, and is willing to write all the official letters and fill out the required forms. Dd fits the requirements.
We have found what we think is the ideal dog and are meeting the owners tomorrow. They have to leave the island (Hawaii) to go to Asia and can't take the dog. The dog is 2, well trained, relatively small, an indoor dog, quiet, cuddly, has vet papers certifying it's health/vaccinations, etc.
So if this works out, what's the best way to help a dog who's just two years old to transition to a new home? He'll come with his bed, crate, food, leash, etc., so all that will be familiar.
I'm not very familiar with dogs in general. Dd had a dachshund for 10 years, who passed away from old age 3 years ago, but frankly, that was when dd was the sickest and she and the dog mostly stayed in bed. Dd did her online school work from her laptop and she and the dog just slept, and that was just fine with the lazy dog. So, not a lot of work and dog care involved! Dd is still grieving her beloved friend. She wanted a dog who looked exactly like her previous dog but the psychiatrist recommended a different dog, who wouldn't be a replacement, but a new friend. This new potential dog fits the bill perfectly. Dd is still very ill, but less confined to bed, so she will be able to walk the dog outside for a little each day.
Any advice for me, as to how to help the dog adjust?
And if you care to, please send good thoughts so that dd will have a new companion. Dd is so lonely and isolated, and my dh and I realize that a dog is what she needs.
I would go into this understanding that I would be the dog's momma, meaning I would be responsible for baths, food, potty, cuddles, etc....that it would spend a lot of time with the girl but it would look to me for it's care.
Deciding that step I would plan on spending time with it and letting it get to bond with me too, not just the girl. That way it would be integrated to the family and feel more at home.
Don't change the way your household runs when you get the dog. He/she will adapt better to your routine so make sure everything you normally do is done. Cook, cleaning, laundry, etc.
A tired dog is a good dog so make sure you get in a couple of walks a day. We walk ours 3 times a day about a mile each time. Great way to meet neighbors and get a little fresh air (although 2 degrees this morning made for a chilly walk).
My dog was a puppy mill rescue who was 2 yrs old and not housebroken so he ended up being teathered to me with a leash for the first couple weeks while we housebroke him. That way he couldn't sneak off to pee or poop in the house. We started off by taking him outside every few hours and after about a month he was reliable enough to trust in the house.
Your family could benefit from dog training classes. This will help you learn basic commands and build a teamwork feeling with your new dog. Your daughter should participate if its her dog and it could end up being a great experience for the both of them.
Oh E., I always love reading your posts, even when you are stressed, because you are the most caring mom!
We got our first rescue dog 6 years ago. Twice abandoned, living in the shelter and so stressed that she had to go to foster care. My husband wasn't ready - was still mourning our last dog who died at 14. So, while your daughter's situation is totally different from ours, I think there is some overlap.
a) Get something familiar - ask the current owners for a blanket or pillow case, or give them a couple of your pillow cases (or new ones, discount price fine) and have them sleep on those pillow cases or hold them on their laps, anything to transfer their scent to the cases. Then put the "scented" pillow cases on your daughter's lap (or yours) or in the crate or on the crate cushion, anything that works. Do not wash them for a few weeks.
Don't expect your daughter to take to the dog. Don't push it. Just love the dog on your own. Our adopted dog finally got on the couch next to me, but when my husband bent over to kiss me, she growled. He got mad and said he didn't want an aggressive dog. Three days later, she jumped up on the couch next to him and put her head on his knee, and it's been a love fest ever since. Let your daughter and the dog bond over time. For now, you can call it YOUR dog if she's hesitant. It doesn't matter what she says/thinks now. It matters where she's at in a month or so.
The adjustment takes time. I slept on the floor next to the crate on the first night after we couldn't stop the whining. Next night, I moved 3 feet away. Next night, 6 feet away. And so on. We went away for a few days for our son's graduation about 6 months into the new "family" and had a dog sitter, but she was never okay after that. She's slept with us ever since. Not ideal but...
Definitely expect regression with things like housebreaking and perhaps food aggression. Invest in some puppy training treats and reward her with every little thing - getting near the door (even if she doesn't think it's to go out), each time she pees outside, every poop, and so on.
We found the best thing was to have a basket on the floor with her toys - that kept her from eating other things she found (pencils, shoes, etc.). In short order, she ignored everything else and just went to her basket for playthings. I'd mix her existing toys and a few new ones.
Keep her dog food consistent at least for now. If you want to switch her to something else, start with 3/4 old food and 1/4 new, then 1/2-1/2, etc.
Since you've had a dog before, you know what your feelings are about being on the furniture or being in certain rooms.
If she can visit with her owners a couple of times, great. Watch them, see how they interact, use their terms for things (e.g. do they say, "Want to go out?" or "Door!"). It will make things easier for you if you can replicate their patterns. How does she play? Does she tug, or does she chase a frisbee/ball? Have them walk with you with the dog on the leash. Gradually take over.
Good luck! I know your daughter is balking at this, but if you downplay it, my guess is she'll fall in love soon!
We have adopted a number of dogs. My best advice is to have a lot of patience at the beginning. The dog may regress and suddenly forget house training, for example. Anxiety may cause him to dig, chew and other less desirable behaviors, so keep valuables up high. The dog may transition with no problems at all (that happened with our latest dog), but it's best to be prepared.
Good luck! I really hope he's a great match and gives your daughter some happiness.
we just adopted a 4 year old dog a few days ago!
understand that the best trained dog in the world will have adjustment issues, including household accidents. be patient, and focus on positive reinforcement.
that being said, do establish the boundaries that you want to go forward with, such as being polite on the leash, not jumping up, using the crate, whatever your normal household requirements for the dog will be.
don't demand affection. the dog has had just one family, and will be bewildered and grief-stricken by losing them, however well it's handled. be warm and welcoming, but just as you wouldn't expect a child to hug strangers, let your little dog approach you in her own comfort zone.
walk her a lot, way more than you think necessary.
consider having your daughter take training classes with the dog. even if the dog is well-mannered it will be a great bonding experience for them as well as giving your daughter even better knowledge on how to care for her dog going forward.
good luck!
khairete
S.
E.,
If this does is NOT trained to be an Emotional Support Animal, you may have the wrong expectations. An Emotional Support Dog is TRAINED to handle anxiety and other issues. There are dogs that are trained for diabetics as well.
The dog needs stability and comfort. He will need a chance to get to know YOU and your family and YOUR schedule.
The dog needs REGULAR walks. My dog? He can tell time! He knows when it's 430 and that's WALK TIME - he gets to the door and barks. Is he walked during the day? Yes. But 430 is his 1 mile walk!
The dog will need his own space. We have a kennel fence set up with his food and water in there and bedding. He does sleep with the boys at night - but that's his "safe place".
What can you expect? You can expect household accidents until you learn him and he learns your commands. You need to talk with the owners and spend TIME with them and the dog -
what scares him?
What gets him excited?
HOW is he around kids?
How does he react when the door bell rings or the front door is knocked on?
HOW does HE tell them he needs to outside to do his business? Do they have a bell on the door? Do they have a fenced in yard with a doggie door?
HOW does he react to change?
HOW long do they leave him alone for?
Do they crate him when they leave him alone?
Does he have a favorite chew toy?
Does he know basic commands - sit, stay, heel, down, off, paw/shake?
WHAT does he eat? If you change up his food? He will have diarrhea for weeks until his digestive track is used to the new stuff. So find out WHAT he eats.
Does he eat at specific times?
Is he a graze eater?
How long can he go for a walk?
Does he do well running with someone?
How does he react to humans crying?
This isn't just a "day thing" you go meet and sit down with the dog. You REALLY need to understand what you are getting into with a dog you expect to be an Emotional Support Dog.
I am not experienced, but E., sending positive thoughts your way and for your daughter with her new companion!
For friends of ours taking in a new dog, whether a puppy from a breeder, or a dog that is being re-homed, classes as a family - with the kids - seemed to work very well, so I agree with that suggestion from the moms below.
Best to you and your daughter and I hope it all goes well. I am sure there will be an adjustment period but sounds like a win-win for your daughter and this pup. The more your daughter can be involved in the process the better, without overwhelming her (I know from your previous posts she can tire easily and also be mentally drained). Keep us posted - I do hope this is just what she needs to get a boost :)
A t-shirt that the person from the previous home that the dog was closest to, has worn and not washed (or a pillowcase) to keep in the kennel is probably the most helpful thing for transition. Also, getting a good schedule of what the dog has going on now so there are as few initial changes as possible to the dog's life is important. Does he always go on a walk at 3 p.m.? Or eat at 7 a.m.? You can always change things to match your own lifestyle over time, but much like a new puppy, you have to meet their needs first, and then start making changes to suit your own needs.
To make it your daughter's dog, put a gate up in her doorway so he is kind of "stuck" in there with her without shutting the door. Don't put the kennel in there - his "safe place" should be with her. You can give him periodic breaks if it seems like he needs them. Any small treats should come only from your daughter, and if she is well enough, she should be doing the feeding as well.
Good luck!
Great suggestions below!
Just wanted to add to keep in mind that nights can be difficult when new pets are adjusting, so there may be a few sleep disrupted nights while the dog gets used to the nighttime noises in your home.
Sending positive thoughts out for a wonderful companion relationship between your daughter and this dog!
there is a difference between a dog as a pet and a dog as an emotional support dog.
You really need to work with a specialist in this field to get the right dog for your daughter. I wouldn't take just any dog. if your daughter has emotional issues? she needs a specialized dog that can alert you to problems. This dog doesn't sound like it would do that.
I would NOT get a dog that is exactly like her dead dog. That to me is making the dog a "replacement" and it won't be - so she will end up calling it another name or expecting the same thing and get upset that it doesn't "DO" what Buffy did.
If your daughter is isolated, find things that she can do. There have got to be support groups in Hawaii that you and your daughter can be a part of.
