Question Re: Babysitting a Newborn

yes I think you're crazy! (haha) take it from a mom of twins...taking care of two babies that young is frustrating and a challenge, I can't even imagine throwing a 2 year old as well into the mix! One baby is like having one baby...two babies are like having four!!! The most important thing for babies under 1 year old is sleep, so as far as getting out of the house and doing things it would not be in the best interest of the babies. They should be getting a minimum of 3-4 naps of at least an hour to two hours a day and eating every 3 hours at that age and getting out of the house isn't conducive to that.
My guess that the reason why you asked us whether you think this situation is nuts or not is because you yourself are having some reservations about it all. Go with your heart and head, two newborns and a toddler are a heavy load. Even getting out of the house is hard (in and out of 3 car seats, strollers, bottles, snack foods for the toddler etc). What would you do if the toddler takes off running at the park? Could you chase him with two little babies in tow? Good luck!
(and by the way, I would charge 250-300 a week...but that's just me)

I think its a great idea IF u can handle 2 newborns. I would love to do that myself. Its helping out ur family financially and, I dunno about u, but I love being around children so it would be fun. Money wise, daycares around here go for $180 a week for newborns so i would bvelieve anything between $100 and that would be reasonable. Just be careful about the way ur handling the money situation. On taxes u can claim childcare expenses and if they do u have to claim it as a taxable income source. But if u agree to just deal in cash and not give reciepts then there is no proof that u have to claim it, but then again they cant claim they pd it at the end of the yr. Just somethin to think about. Good luck!

Weather you are nuts will depend on the temperment of your newborn as well as hers. I think you may be underestimating the adjustment it will take for you to go from one child to 2. I have 4 and honestly the 1 to 2 was the most difficult and my second baby was VERY easy.
You know what you can handle best. I have done the daycare at home thing to help with money as well, but the kids I took in were older.
My fear for you will be that you miss out on the precious ,fleeting moments with your newborn. It is a time that passes SO quickly and no amount of money would make up for missing that.And if you have a high mantenance baby or ,worse, she does, you will be so exausted if will affect you relationship with your first born son as well as your husband.
Just a few thoughts to help you decide. Many belssings to you for a safe and easy delivery!

Only you know how much is too much for you. Things to consider: even an 18 month old child still needs lots of attention, what are you going to do when both newborns are crying? what are you going to do when all three children are sick and just want to be held? can your vehicle accomodate three car seats? Do you have a stroller that can accomodate two newborns? Are you going to keep your outings short enough your 18 month old doesn't need a stroller? Are both babies breast fed? bottle fed? Are you going to be able to handle one on a two hour schedule and one on a three hour schedule? Days when your little one kept you up all night, and the other one has you up all day? I would give it all very serious thought, and I would also give a three day trial run weeks before the new mommy has to go to work. If you do it for three days,consecutivly, same hours mommy would work, you will have a much better idea what you are in for.

Hi,
I understand all of your concerns as I was approached by a good friend of mine shortly after I had my first daughter...9 years ago. I wanted to help my friend out, wanted to charge her something fair, but didn't want to compromise my time with my own child too. I charged my friend $5 an hour. I did not watch my friend's baby every day but maybe 2-3 times a week for a span of 3-5 hours and so I planned my week or days so that I would not have to travel with her son but it was optional if I wanted to take him out with me. I do not think you are nuts for wanting to try this. You will not be taking on too much, however, I will caution you to consider how you will be able to handle taking care of your newborn on top of taking care of your friend's baby. I became pregnant with my second daughter while I was watching my friend's baby and the demands of my pregnancy (feeling sick and tired), on top of caring for my first born was exhausting. I finally had to let go of helping my friend out because for one thing, as her child was getting older, he was becoming more needy and it was just too much on me. You may find that you will do fine but you may find that it's too much. You won't know until you try it out but I would be honest with your friend should it become necessary for you to stop watching him. Just keep in mind that the demands of somebody's child not your own are very different than the demands your own child brings. We can tune out the crys of our own children but the cries of someone elses child can be very annoying to deal with when you are tired from caring for your own children. It takes a special person to be able to care for someone else's child(ren) while caring for their own. I learned from my own experience that I am less tolerant with someone else's demanding baby. Good luck with whatever choice you make.

H.,
I am also considering watching a child to help with finances. I have a newborn and a 4 year old. But if I were you, I would not watch another newborn. Since you have a 2 yo, why not watch a toddler or older. It would be easier to manage, because the child would be more independent. You do not want to stress yourself, enjoy your newborn do not overburden yourself. Just my opinion. Good Luck.

I think I would charge $200-$250 week and she provides all supplies, clean bottles, diapers, food, clothing, etc. If she pays you by check, you might also have tax consequences, too. So, keep that in mind.

I think you will be tired, but the cash will add a significant resource to your families bottom line. Lot's of people work with two children. Look at it as a business and make business decisions.

S.

Hi H.! Whoa!! I am tired, just thinking about what you are proposing. I have a daughter, almost 3, and a baby due in a few months..and I can't imagine doing more...but that is just me. I guess the biggest question is how much can you use the money? If it would be really, really helpful, then that makes things worth considering. If it were this, or a job outside the house..then I might choose this...but with LOTS of hesitation. It sounds like, if you are even considering this, that you might have a lot of energy, and be able to handle this. Can your vehicle fit 3 car seats? Do you have a double, or triple stroller for outings? What type of outings is your oldest used to? In our routine, we do weekly toddler library time..and there is no way you could do something like that with your son, AND 2 babies. How about, even at the park...What if your son needs some help on the equipment...or starts to do what 2 year olds are famous for...bolting off? What would you do?...leave the 2 babies in the carriage to go after your son? I know if it were me, I would quickly start resenting the situation. What if your two children happened to be napping at the same time..so you could get some rest...or housework done..but baby # 3 is crying, so you can't take care of yourself? I am playing devil's advocate here...but really think this through. Even if they let you take the baby around, it will still limit your freedom immensely.

I can totally understand the guilt about not contributing to the income...I go through the same thing...but if you are going to charge less than a daycare, you really won't be making that much. If you were to charge them, say, $250.00, then that is only $5.88 per hour. Plus, you have to assume there will be later days..teachers meetings, etc. The only way I could do something like that is if it were not full time. I personally could handle 2-3 days a week, tops. But again, you know yourself. If you feel up for the challenge, and not overwhelmed by it, then you could give it a shot. Why don't you take the baby for a whole day now..while you are deciding, and see how even one day feels. What will you do if both babies are sobbing at once? And then your 2 year old? I guess you need to ask if you can handle it, and not jip your kids out of "you". It is nice that she gets home not too late..so you could still go to the park with just your kids..but will you be too wiped out? I guess, I am just typing as I think..but my advice is to REALLY think about the details of each day. Like I said, if these things don't overwhelm you..then it might be great. Hey, I could use an extra thousand bucks a month....but whoa...I think you will be pooped!!!!
A. :)

I'm not going to comment on whether or not this would be somthing that you can do... many other Moms have already and this will depend on you and the temperments of all children involved. (I will say that you will probably be housebound all day ~ leaving the house and trying to manage naps, diaper changes X three would be impossible!)

I am a teacher and had my daughter at a "home daycare" when I returned to work. At that point, she was 13 months old... she was there until I went on maternity leave with my son a year later. (My kids are 2 years, 2 weeks apart). This woman was certified by the state, kept only 5 kids and all were teacher's kids so she would have the same holidays off as the schools did. She charged $175/week. Her fees went up yearly for newly enrolled kids, but she kept the price the same for however many years she watched your children. (i.e. if she watched them from birth until K, she would charge the same price the whole time.) She provided all meals and snacks (except for babies, we sent bottles and babyfood.) We also sent diapers, wipes.

I think it's wonderful that you are prepared to offer to do this. It could be a wonderful arrangement if it works for you because it will save your teacher friend money and offer her a lot of scheduling flexibility for having her child cared for that typical daycares don't offer.

PS If you think it may be too much to handle now, it may be a great thing to offer later in the future when your youngest is older (say August/September 2010?)

Good luck!

T.
Mom of 2 and teacher in South Florida!

Hi,
This sounds very similar to what my daughter did a few months back. She is the mother of a (then) 2 1/2 year old and a 1 year old. She was asked by a friend of hers to babysit her newborn baby that was somewhere between 8-10 weeks old to save on daycare costs.

My daughter did do it, but she did say it was very difficult to do. There was some jealousy from the 1 year old which caused a bit of chaos. My daughter also found that she really couldn't go out to the park or the store even though staying inside the house all cooped up would drive her nuts. She found it to be too difficult to bring three little ones out.

The carseats wasn't a major issue because her two daughters were forward facing whereas the newborn she was watching was in a rear facing hand carrier carseat in the middle. In your case, you mentioned having a newborn yourself. How would you handle the carseats issue since your newborn and the newborn you would be watching both require rear facing carseats in the middle of the back seat?

As far as cost goes, my daughter was paid $250 per week to do this, or $50 per day if there was a shortened week. She too did this for financial reasons, but to be honest, it lasted only three months before being more than she could handle.

I wish you the best in this tough decision. All the best to you!

You got a lot of negative responses so I wanted to add my two cents. I used to teach a preschool class with infants and toddlers. For kids under 1, the law requires that you limit the ratio to 4 infants per 1 adult (I think about that all the time with the famous multiples moms). We also had a mixed age group, and the kids ranged from 3 months to 2 years. It just takes organization and patience, but it's very doable. It's all about scheduling. You could probably get all 3 to nap at the same time in the morning, with the 2 year old skipping the afternoon nap with the little ones. We had set times when we changed diapers to make sure everyone was changed at least every 2 hours (or more often if needed). Everyone napped and ate at the same time if possible. As the kids get bigger, they will play with each other more. That will make it easier than it might be without an extra playmate.

I work and my husband stays home with our 6 month old (she will probably be in some kind of childcare next year). If I were staying at home, I would definitely consider taking on another child, especially when one of the parents is a teacher. The hours are shorter and you get summer and holidays off. Living on one income is tough, and every little bit helps.

I watch another baby (in addition to having daughters who are 3 and 2, and a son who will be 1 in a few weeks) and I charge $140/wk. I know of others who have home daycares as well, and most of them charge about the same for an infant. It will be challenging, especially if you're breastfeeding, but if your heart is into it, it will be rewarding.

My first 2 kids are 16 months apart so I can tell you it's difficult to have a toddler and baby. You are tired ALL THE TIME. But when the kids are both yours it's a little easier on the difficult days because you love them both very much. Just keep in mind that having a second newborn will be like having twins. I am not saying don't do it because I think the situation will be great for both you and the other mom if it works out... just keep these things in mind... What happens when one of your kids is sick, or you are sick? Does she have a back up plan? Yes, she can take sick days from work, but if you or one of your children is sick, that could mean you can't watch her child for several days in a row. I would try doing this on a trial basis for a couple of weeks and see if you can handle it. Call around to the local day care centers and see what the average fee is to watch a baby and then charge a fee that is lower than that but enough to make it worth it for both of you. Also, have a long term plan of how long you will be watching the child, what she will provide versus things you will provide, and if you get paid a regular fee no matter what or if you only get paid for the days you watch the baby (like if there is a 4 days week for a holiday do you get the full week's pay like most day care centers charge, or if she decides to take time off do you still get paid anything)

I took on my sister's one year old when my daughter was 3 months old. Coincidentally, she is a school teacher too! I was very nervous about going from no babies to having two babies on my hand. If I understand your post correctly, you will have TWO babies 2 mo and 4 mo? Eeeeeks. It was a bit of a stretch for me with the 9 month gap. It sounds like you are basically going to have twins (agewise) and a toddler. People do it all the time, but it is definitely going to require a lot of patience and love. The more I think about it, the more I hope moms of twins respond to your post with helpful suggestions.
PS. Since she was my sister, for payment she just paid my car note. Obviously you won't want to do it THAT cheap, but keep in mind you'll have off all school holidays, Christmas, spring break, etc., so remember to factor in that you will be getting some breaks along the way. I would probably do it for a friend for $600/mo personally.

H.-- I watched my sister's baby for about a year while my son was around nine months old and my nephew was around three months old. It turned out to be a lot harder on me than I had anticipated. It just seemed relentless in a way: feed one, feed the other, change one, change the other, one cries to be held, the other cries to be held. I tried to get them on the same nap schedule, but that didn't always work, and they often woke each other up. I got kind of depressed during that period, which I recognized after the fact. My sister really didn't want me to leave the house with her son, so we were housebound, too, which might have been the hardest part for me. I felt sad and isolated. You might have a very different experience than I did, but it was much harder for me than I had expected. It just seemed like it took so long for me to get them fed and changed and cleaned up and comforted and loved on and played with, that once I finished the breakfast and snack round, it was time for lunch. I felt like I never had a second to myself, and it got to me. Now I have two little boys, so I'm more used to never having a minute to myself -- ha!-- but then I wasn't so used to it because I used to be able to take a breath and clean the house when my son was napping. Plus I can leave the house whenever I want now, which helps my mental state enormously. But I like the idea of watching a toddler who could play with your older child. I think that would be easier than another newborn. Some might disagree, but I find the toddler stage to be easier than the newborn stage, because newborns need to eat so frequently. I guess they also sleep a lot, too, though! :) Oh, and by the way, after my sister started having a friend watch her child, she paid $200 a week for his care. And this was her best friend, too. I don't know if that's the going rate, but that was what my sister paid both her best friend and, later, another good friend, to watch her baby. I don't know if I just confused you more-- sorry!-- but I just wanted to let you know that it was harder on me than I had expected to watch two babies, even though one was my beloved son and one was my beloved nephew.

I would begin with a trial period of 2-3 weeks. After the trial period both you and your friend can decide if the situation is not working and change it without feeling awkward or like they are letting the other person down.

Well, this comes probably a little late, but I have an opinion about it that I gained from my own experience. I watched a friend's baby at the end of my pregnancy, then stopped until my baby was a couple of months old. By the time I resumed watching him, he was 10 months old. It was the worst decision. I was so patient with him when I did not have my baby to take care of. When I had my baby and him, I got to the point that I just was grumpy towards him, because he needed my attention, but my breast fed newborn needed it more. I felt like he was keeping my from being able to give my baby everything she needed, which caused me to resent this other little baby.

I don't know that you would be the same, but things change when you bring someone else's baby into your home in that way, no matter how much you love your friend. It can get super stressful. Plus, you'd probably feel like you could NEVER get anything done. I don't know, good luck!

Hi H.,

I too babysit in my home. One thing that I didn't take into consideration when I agreed to babysit a friend's baby was taxes. They claimed their childcare expenses on their taxes so I had to show my income. It cost us almost $2,500 this year!

Also, if you want to be able to go places, the park or grocery store, make sure you have enough room in your vehicle for all those carseats and that you could handle 3 little ones. It sounds like it would be kind of like having twins in addition to your older son.

The other little boy that I babysit is a teacher's baby. The upside to babysitting for a teacher is that when school is out, you have a day off.

I charge $25/day and from what I've heard from other people, that is on the low end. I completely understand what you mean about the guilt. It doesn't matter how many times my husband tells me not to let it bother me, it still does!

Good luck with your decision and with your family.

Wow, H., time to sit down and map out your schedules, insurance, your fee (at least $200/week), doctor visits, etc. Any and everything any other caretaker would be in charge of.
And for $200+ a week, is it worth having another munchkin in your care when you have two already?
You mention taking all three out of the house...that is a lot of responsibility. They could sue you if god forbid something happens...
My vote is no.

I think you should wait until after you give birth to decide. You don't know what kind of delivery you're going to have or how your new baby is going to be outside of the womb yet. Your own family is most important. Finances can be dealt with in time. You have to first take care of yourself to be able to take care of other children. There are still so many unknowns in this scenario right now. Sleep on it. Mull it over. But don't sacrifice what's best for you and your young children to help out a little with finances. It really is a lot to take on. I believe you would be at higher risk to develop post partum depression because of the added stress. Cautious is definitely the way to go. I know you want to help your friend, but is the little bit of extra income worth the effort?
Are you going to have anything left to give at the end of the day to your husband? And going out of the house with 3 young children is incredibly hard.
I, personally, wouldn't do it. But you make your own decisions. Just make a well thought-out one.

Hi H.- I dont think your crazy, ambitious maybe, but not crazy. After all some people have three kids at that age difference every day and they make it work. The only issue I could see is the difference with nap times. That might hinder your plans to go out a bit. Cost wise I wouldnt charge less that $10 per hour, extra if you are providing meals. I hope it works out well for all of you.

HI H.,
I have some experencice with this myself . I watch my neice 2-3 days a week 12hrs each day .. She is 16months old and I have a 4 yr old and a 14 month old . I have been watchingher for about a yr now . Its not so bad in the begining if you can get them on the same schedule. Its getting a little tougher now that they wannma play with whatever the other has .as far as money is concernd I will tell you I am haveing a hard time talking to her mother ( who is my best friend and married to my husbands brother) . I kinda got dupped into doing it for practlly free. I will say however I feel like 20 dollars a day is very reasonable you will be saving them alot, Plus they know there child has a excellnt child to adult attention . good luck .
Christy

my friend does this but she charges $300 a week per child.but i see thy would get their day care cheaper than that according to what you said they told you. why don't you call around to day cares and just see what they charge, call several in your area. then if they charge the $285 then i would maybe charge $230 and they have to bring all the food and diapers of course, this will save them $55.00.my freind also only baby sits teachers kids so she only goes by the school calendar that way she is off all school holidays and off all summer.so that will work well for you too.
if you think you can handle it, go for it i know times are tough and it takes two to pay the bills and have anything.

I don't know about how much to charge, but I want to let you know that it is possible to do.

I have twin boys and a four year old step-daughter and we go places a lot. Luckily, we have a double stroller, which is something you might want to look into if it's going to be a regular thing. I just pop the boys in the stroller and my step-daughter knows that in public places, she has to keep a hand on the stroller at all times.

I don't, however, think you should feel guilty about all the financial obligations being on your husband. You are raising your children, which is a job that should make more money than most of us make, but that is unpaid. It's the toughest job in the world and just because you don't get paid doesn't make it any easier.

Good luck. :)

Hi H., I think you need to keep in mind that this situation will be almost like having twins to care for, while trying to keep your toddler happy and engaged. I think it can be done, but your children will suffer. You'll definitely be limited to when you can get out with all the sleeping babies needs still met. One baby and a toddler is easily managed, while two who might not sleep at the same times... will make it challenging to get out and about for more than a walk. Maybe you can do a trial week or two with an understanding.. that it might not work out. It really would need to be worth your while!
The mom being a teacher is good since you'd have summers and holidays off for sure!
The other mom would also have to be alright with your outings. Plus will your car hold three car seats?

You might want to find a toddler to watch instead? This would be an instant playmate for your toddler, which would be easier for you and your infant will get more of your time to boot. Best to you and your choices!

I think that's a great idea someone suggested to test it out for a couple days now watching the newborn. And make sure you don't underprice yourself, don't charge too much less than the daycare, her child will be receiving more attentive care than public daycare which is typically 4 children per adult. Plus she will have greater flexibility with you right next door.

Yes, you are probably nuts. I have a newborn 6 weeks old and a 3yr old and it is difficult giving attention to them at the same time. You are also pregnant which may not make you feel up to it for another person's child. You can usually tolerate your own, but you have different rules for another, especially a newborn who requires special attention. With your 17 month old, it might not be feasible.

It all depends on your level of patience and your ability to schedule and spend time with them all. Each person is different and so is each child. If all your children are low maintenance then who knows, you can probably do it.