Question for Non cry-it-outers...how Do You Get Your Second Child to Sleep?

She may not want to nap anymore, but she is old enough to understand quite time. She can read a book or color but she has to be quite.

At that age, my youngest would nap in the swing, bouncy, or on the boppy in the playroom. When he was falling asleep, I'd put on a movie for my oldest or give him a quiet activity at the table (playdough, coloring, puzzle). My youngest learned to sleep through normal noise from my oldest. If he fell asleep while my oldest was playing, then the playing wouldn't wake him up. I played music, so that the baby would get used to background noise.
As my youngest got older, I began putting him down first while my oldest goes potty and gets in bed. Then, I go to my older son's room until he's dozing and the baby is quiet. Now they are 4 and 1 1/2 and we have it down to a science. They both nap from 2-4 everyday.

Sling/wrap/carrier. They're total lifesavers!

You need to train your daughter. She may not sleep anymore, but she should still have a quiet time. Her body needs it, her mind needs it, and YOU need it! : )

Let her know that she is expected to stay in her room without the lights on and shades drawn for quiet time. She is expected to stay in her bed. She may play - quietly - with her dolls/stuffed animals in her bed, but she may not get out until quiet time is over.

She is definitely old enough to understand rewards! Explain that she has to have a quiet time and so do you. If you get your quiet time, you will have time to play a game with her later that afternoon, or take her to the park or whatever. It's not a bribe. It's just letting her know that if you get your quiet time, you can be a better mommy and do fun things with her.

Every preschool has quiet time. Not all the children sleep, but they will stay on their cot until the lights come back on.

Work with your daughter. Be firm, and don't stand for any variance on this. It's important. Once your daughter is trained, it will be easier to work with your son. I used to put my 3 yo son down for quiet time and then take my baby girl and rock her to sleep in the recliner and join her for a nap!

Good luck with this! I know how hard it is. And kudos to you for not being on the CIO team! ; )

My oldest was 20 months when her sister was born and quit napping before her second birthday. There are a few things I did to keep her happy (and quiet!) while I nursed and rocked the baby to sleep: one was to plunk her into her own bed with some books and tell her to be very quiet. Another was to have her sit on MY bed while I nursed and rocked the baby in the same room. Once she got a little older, I was able to put on a cartoon for her and she was just happy as a clam.

If you're concerned about being on a separate floor than your daughter, what about having her in your room watching a movie or in her room looking at books?

Also, though I never used one, baby wraps are a life-saver for moms with babies that need to be close and snuggly.

Used a sling or used the stroller. My older two were the same ages as yours are now and my oldest stopped with naps about that age too. Often I would walk baby around until he fell asleep while in the sling and then gently put him (while still in the sling- often the sling acted like a swaddle blanket, just make sure the sling doesn't drape over baby's face.) into the stroller and let my daughter push the stroller around on the porch or in the kitchen.

My second one was a reflux baby too so that was hard to keep him upright, but he spent a LOT of time in his car seat, in the swing and on me in the sling. A couple times a week, I might get him to sleep on the floor in the living room - more often if i could get my oldest (a girl) to pat baby brother, which oddly enough she loved to do!

best of luck!

What I did with both of mine was I nursed them for naps at that age. It never caused a problem and they are both champ sleepers. With my second, I would just start nursing him close to the time he would get tired. I would just get on the sofa and put a show or something on that my older one really liked. If I remember back, Caillou was usually a winner when my older was about 2.5 :D I also didn't try to make my older be too terribly quiet so my younger would be able to nap with a bit more chaos. They say that whatever sounds your baby was used to in the womb would not cause a problem when they were born so with my second I purposely didn't really lower the volume too much and he is a better sleeper overall, but he is also a more mellow person than my first anyway. So that is what I did, fed him to sleep when he was little. As he got older I just transitioned to rocking him in his room and telling his older brother to watch a show for a few minutes and that when I was done we would play a game etc. I would always tell my older son that if he was helpful by keeping himself busy for a few that mommy would be free to play with him once baby was sleeping. That has always helped, that anticipation of our one on one time. Plus by the time your baby is getting old enough to stop eating before sleep, your older will be over 3, HUGE difference than where her emotional development is right now. If you aren't breastfeeding a bottle works just fine too. For the record, my kids don't have cavities and sleep just fine now. They grow out of wanting to fall asleep eating but when they are so tiny, suckling is so comforting and it is a natural way for them to nod off, heck it makes mom tired too. Wish you the best!!

Bring the swing upstairs!
But honestly, I would think by two and a half your daughter should understand "quiet, the baby is napping" and even if she's not napping (mine were also done at two) she should be able to lay down on the bed or couch with a few books or a quiet movie.
Try to make your daughter a part of the baby's (and your) routine rather than allowing her to yell and demand attention, that's a recipe for disaster.
Good luck momma, I'm sure you'll figure it out :)

Do you have a baby carrier. He'll sleep against you as you carry him around. Put your daughter in front of the TV. It is useful. Tape shows she likes. Take out the commercials and set her down to watch half an hour. He'll fall asleep and once he's asleep all the yelling in the world won't wake him until he's ready.

Have you considered a baby carrier. I used to keep my kids in them all the time when they needed to be held but I needed to deal with other things. My kids think it is funny that I used to mow the lawn with them on my back. :)

Well anyway then you are holding him but have your hands free to hold your daughter as well.

I tried to time it that the older one was put to sleep first. And the baby was either cat napping or playing/awake and happy. then i would do all i could for the older one, hopefully She would be sleepy for you. Then take a deep breath and deal with the baby who by that time needed to nurse and the if the stars alinged would go to sleep.

For the older one, you could try stories on CD or even some lullaby music. to give yourself a little time.

Try... using a "Sleep Sack" for your baby.
It may make him feel "cocooned" and more cozy.
Amazon has it for example, and you can see what it is like and the reviews there.

Always nurse baby before sleep.

Put the swing upstairs...

Teach your daughter to whisper.
If you have to, put on a tv show or video for her... to occupy her while you are putting baby to sleep.
Really.

With my 2nd child, the afternoons were QUIET TIME AND NAP TIME... and for me, too.
I clearly, explained that to my Eldest, once I had my 2nd child.
AND my daughter, would still nap... even if she was older than your daughter. Because, it was just an EVERYday routine.....
I made the house quiet... rules were to be quiet... and to 'whisper' and 'tip-toe' in the house.... my daughter understood.

Your child, your Toddler, may still probably need a nap.
Because, she sounds over-tired. To me.
When over-tired, a Toddler has a HARD time, containing themselves.

Do NO horse-play or hyper activities, before you need to put baby to nap.
Even 1 hour beforehand... make EVERYTHING quiet and keyed... down.
Key it down... the entire environment.. .and even draw the drapes if you have to....
Make things dark... turn off the phones...

That worked for me once I had 2 kids.

This is not a problem about getting your baby to sleep... it is about the 2.5 year old... not cooperating. And being over-tired and being loud.

Have you tried wearing him?

I agree with "Twice Blessed". Teach your daughter that she MUST be quiet while the baby is sleeping. She is plenty old enough to learn this and to understand rewards and consequences. She either plays quietly or she has to go to her room and "take a nap" too. If she doesn't then there are consequences. If she does then she has a happy mommy, a happy baby brother. Her reward can be quiet play time with mommy or a special treat or outing when the baby is awake.
I couldn't do the "cry it out" method either. It sounds like you son likes the physical touch. I would lay my kids in bed and rub their backs or tummies until they fell asleep. Once they got use to that I slowly worked it to where I could rub their backs for a little while until they settled down. Then I could quietly leave the room before they actually fell asleep.

My son (now 9 months) was the ultimate swaddle baby. Only way he would sleep. Tell your daughter it's time for baby's nap and have her help you put him to sleep upstairs. Make her feel like it's something special for her to do. It will be the perfect opportunity to teach her "shhh, baby's sleeping" and she's getting some attention at the same time. It takes a couple of tries, but she'll love being apart of it. This worked with my 2 year old. I've learned the more you involve them in helping out with the baby (diaper changes, baths, burping and etc.), the easier things become around the house. Hope this helps!

Ugh, I know, that's so hard! It will get better. My daughter was so hard when I brought home the last baby! I would be nursing on the couch and she would be standing in front of me screaming! All I could do is cover the babies ears, and hope she passed out from lack of oxygen. Jk!

Dear S., watch the happiest baby on the block, you still have a relativly newborn baby. Dr. harvey gives some great ideas (swaddling, sushing/ white noise)
With my first daughter I had to sit for 4 hours on the rocking chair cause she wouldn't nap by helself, then sometimes I had to sleep sitting up on my bed because she wouldn't sleep other than with me/ on me. After watching the video it helped tremendously.

Now with baby #2 I didnt have those 4 fabulous hours to stare at him while he slept. Around 2 months old, I swaddle him and put him in the crib by himself, it took a couple of minutes to settle down but went to sleep. now thank goodness he goes to sleep by himself. I don't believe in the cry out either but I have a toddler to chase around so baby has to adapt. Your baby still small you can help him learn to fall asleep by himself, not the best option but maybe try a pacifier to sooth?
Good luck!

I have a 3 year old boy and an 18 month old girl. With my son, rather he wants to nap or not he has a set "nap" time that he has to spend in his bed even if it is just to rest and rejuvenate. He's normal nap was always from 3-530. He, now, is starting to not want to sleep so instead I put a movie on in his room and he knows he has to lay down and rest for that amount of time. I keep a video monitor on so I can go back and forth from him to my daughter. He stays in his bed and quiet long enough for my daughter to get her nap in and for me to relax a little bit. Have your oldest have a rest time or alone time. Maybe even get a baby gate for her room to keep her in there while you get baby to sleep.

Your babe is still pretty young still I could never do the CIO method at that young of age either. However now that my hubby just left town for work away from home for the next 3 months+ and I'm now playing the "single mom" role with two kids (3.5 years & 10 months) and a puppy I have no choice but to do the CIO with my now 10 month old or I would not get a thing done at night and have NO me time at night to recoop my own sanity. She has always fallen asleep up until recently in our arms and we would lay her down. I have found that she is so exhausted that she will go to sleep sooner and she actually sleeps better and longer if I put her in her crib and she cries/whines for 5 minutes - no more than 10. If I hold her and walk her to sleep she will grab onto my shirt or not allow herself to fall asleep deep enough so that she will wake when she feels me peeling her hand off or putting her down! They get a little wiser and more manipulative with age! LOL Anyway, I am pleased that this is working - only been a week as of yet. I sometimes think we, parents, forget how resilient our kids are and how quickly they adapt to changes. Never did CIO with my son, but with #2 sometimes you have to make necessary changes so don't feel bad about whatever you decide to do, stick with it and it will get easier and become routine! Good luck Momma! I totally sympathise with you!

Make her lay down period. She needs to sleep and she should be napping for about 2 more years. In some countries people take naps through their entire lives.

How about you lay down with them both in your bed? Walking that baby is going to bite you in the behind. That's a hard habit to break and a hard habit to keep up with as they get bigger and weigh more.

I have 3 kids, the last 2 only 20 months apart. I can really empathize with your situation. I wore the baby in the Baby Bjorn most of the day. When he would fall asleep I would quickly go lay him down in his crib and return to carrying for the others. This worked until at 8-9 months he became too heavy for that carrier and then I switched to an Angel Pack. This worked for my youngest 2. When you have more than 1 child you have to be flexible and improvise often. Oh, and don't worry about creating a bad napping habit for your second. My boys nap just fine now and I'm not still carrying them around.

When my second baby was 8 months old I went the cio route. He adjusted really quickly (like 1 week) and napped well for another 6 months or so...then he started fighting naps and the weather got cooler so big sis was always inside during nap time = disaster! So then he started napping in the car. I never could figure out how to organize naps and play and my sanity w/o a little cio. Good Luck!

Can you wear your baby in an ergo or sling?? I would do this and go and lie down with your toddler. Lay there until they fall asleep.

To answer your question, I rock my 2nd child to sleep. Its part of our routine and it works extremely well for us. I love the bonding time and so does he.

M