Hi! I've started doing some more work from home either through my blog and/or freelance writing (so some for $$) and also a lot of volunteer work for my childrens' school and extracurricular activities. I really enjoy being involved but am having a hard time setting limits on interruptions. Particularly when my mom calls--usually just to chat. I have set up my time to do housework and personal stuff in the morning and then the "work" in the afternoons before the kids get home from school. Invariably my mom will call the last half hour before the kids are home--usually in my "crucnch" time. I have suggested over and over that the best time to reach me is in the mornings as the afternoons are my work time. I know she's aware of this b/c she will often start her greeting with a "I wanted to catch you before the kids got home" or something like that. Many times I feel like I'm being rude saying I'm in the middle of something but she does not take the hint or thinks she can ask something real quick. There is no such thing as real quick with her. My sister and I joke that if you call with a simple question, plan to be on the phone at least 20 min. b/c it will turn into a big ol' conversation. Now I"m not saying I mind talking to my mom in general (but I've never been a real phone talker--not even as a teen before email and texting--yes, I'm old!) it's just that I don't know how to politely say I cannot talk right now. Just not answer the phone? BTW, I don't like to be on the phone much when my kids are home--that is time for me to catch up with them after school, help with homework and get dinner started, etc. Also, my mom stays home and is involved in volunteer work as well so she's got a flexible schedule to call whenever.
For those of you that work from home, how do you all set limits on interruptions? I know this has been mainly about my mom but I'd also like advice for interruptions in general. Thanks for your help!
Thanks everyone for your advice! I knew that was the answer but I just need to get used to doing that. I guess I feel for some reason that the person calling can somehow see that I am sitting there ignoring their call! I have a couple of friends that will do the same thing and will call me on my home phone, cell phone and email me when there is really no emegency, they just want their questions answere right then or whatever! Thanks again!
Don't answer the phone. When you call her back later (do) say 'Sorry I couldn't answer when you rang, I was just trying to finish up my work before the kids came home."
If a friend calls when I cannot talk, I say, "I'm working and I can't talk long" and then cut the conversation short. I also screen calls with the caller ID. If it's one of the kids, I get it. If it's not a number I know, I don't. If it's a friend that is long winded...only if I have time.
You answered your own question. Just don't answer the phone. When you return her call at a more convenient time she'll probably mention that she couldn't get a hold of you and you can calmly and matter-of-factly say "yes, I was working when you called and only make business calls during my work time."
I work from home 3x per week and have learned over the years to protect my work time otherwise I'll be logging in after the kids are in bed. If she really balks at your being unavailable in the afternoons, then you could probably encourage her to try to call in the morning and then just let her talk while you're doing housework, or return her calls when you're in the car.
Don't answer the phone. Caller ID was made just for this situation!
My mom would do the same thing when my kids were babies. I would nap every afternoon when they were napping and she would call every afternoon and start the conversation with "Oh, I'm sorry. Were you napping?" Yes, just like yesterday and the day before and the day before. I just quit answering even tho unplugging the phone or listening to it ring until the machine got it was just as annoying. But she finally caught on.
It's just a convenient time for HER, so she calls. She isn't thinking about your timing until you answer and she realizes AGAIN that she has interrupted.
Good luck.
Hi L.,
I was a WAHM for about a year and I found it REALLY difficult to separate my home and my work lives. The only way you can make it work if YOU treat it like a REAL job. So, if your mom called you at the 'office' would you spend 20 min on the phone with her? probably not. So you can either not answer the phone (less confrontrational) or tell her "I am at work right now and I can't talk" (more confrontational).
I don't know what you do as a WAHM, but if you work for someone else you can always say that you are "scurrying" to get together info for a report that has to be emailed to so-and-so by whatever time and you only have about 3 minutes to talk (that'll give her 5). That way you don't have to feel guilty by telling her you don't have time for her.
Good Luck
I don't ever answer the phone while I'm working. I do check the caller ID just to make sure it's not the school or my husband, but that's it.
I personally would not answer the phone. Espically since you have already told her about that time frame. I would give her a time thats best for her to call. I have to send my little ones to moms day out to get anything done. if your kids are all in school i would just use that time. school hours are your work hours. good luck.
To be repeated: Do not answer the phone. That is your limit/boundary. Call her back when it is convenient for you. She will eventually take the hint.
As others have said, do not answer the phone. Hopefully you have call waiting so you can answer an important call (from your husband, school, etc.) Call her back when it is convenient. Then set a time limit and say you have to go. Period. She doesn't need any explanations. IF she asks, then say that you have a long list of things to get done today. Don't feel like you have to justify being a WAHM. And don't compare your load to hers. Just be sweet. "Enjoyed talking to you, Mom. Love you! Bye."
By taking her calls in the past and talking for a length of time, you have basically told her that it is okay for you to talk then. Don't answer and if she asks why you aren't answering, just say that you were right in the middle of something. Be vague so she can't evaluate your decision.
Don't answer the phone for non-work calls. Problem solved :-)
Yeserday i was thinking it would be nice to offer services watching kids while their parent/s are trying to do some work. My only thought is what about winter when it's cold out? I just wouldn't answer when your mom calls and leave your answering machine on incase it's important. After you dodge a few calls maybe she'll start calling earlier.
I would set a policy for yourself that most employers set- no personal phone calls during work time. Just don't answer the phone. Turn off the ringer if you have to (remember to turn it back on).
Your mom should be able to respect your limits, just as you expect your kids to do.
When my Mom calls, I'll tell her when my next conference call is coming up and I only have 5 min to talk.
If there's a lot to talk about, I'll call her back later after my work is finished.
I've got set office hours and I have to work them just like I use to when I worked in an office building.
It is very simple. Do not answer the phone. People who need to get work done, have to set limits and that does not mean asking for them it means taking them.
Put on the answering machine and get your stuff done and then call her when it is convenient for you. It is called Boundaries.
We own our own business so I work from home as well and I try to keep a schedule similar to yours. There is a simple answer to your dilemma. Tell you mom once again what your work hour are and ask her not to call then.
Then, when she does call during your work hours, DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE! After a few times, she will remember and will call earlier. Or, nip it in the bud and call her first...in the morning :) I'm sure she doesn't mean to interrupt your work...she probably just forgets. I talk to my mom almost every day...usually while I am waiting in the school pick up line.
Hi L.,
Oh my stars!! I am not laughing at you but oh my you gave me the chuckle moment. While I work in an office there have been times I telecommuted and the kids are like glue.... You probably can't do this but I locked the office door to keep 'em out. Luckily my husband knew better and took care of them....ah...peace. Good luck.
Don't answer the phone when she calls, she can't respect the boundary you set, so you have to create the boundary yourself. I also write a blog and do some freelance writing (though don't get paid for it, I'm jealous of you!!) so, setting 'quiet, no interruptions time' is absolutely essential.
Screen your phone calls. I let ones I know are personal go to the machine. I handle most personal calls at night.
If I am in the middle of something, I do not answer the phone if it is a personal call. It is not worth me making a mistake on my Quickbooks, scheduling, etc.
As for deliveries, etc... we receive and send a lot of FedEx and UPS so I usually hear the trucks coming or my dogs do and let me know about it. I do answer the door for them because I have to sign for things.
I have a set routine I follow when I am invoicing, receiving payments, etc and I can't afford to make a mistake because I got was on the phone. I do text a LOT and I'm consistantly on email.
