ok, so my husband I and have gotten into a bad rut in the evenings. Our 18 month old goes to bed around 7 so it usually ends up that one of us watches TV -- the other plays on the computer -- then we clean up a little and go to bed. He works, I stay at home. We're both tired in the evenings. I need some suggestions on what to do when we turn off the TV/computer and spend some quality time with each other. did I mention we are on a tight budget? (isn't everyone right now??)
My husband and I play games together or watch a movie together (we have a Netflix subscription, so there's always a movie in the house). I even learned how to play his favorite video game so we can play that together.
This sounds like my routine with my husband!! We still do this, but have made a promise to at least every other night, keep the computer/tv off and spend time together.
We will watch our favorite shows on Netfilx (right now The Office) and we even have been reading together. We actually read all 4 Twilight books and it was really fun and gave us something to talk and laugh about during the day.
My DH and I can't afford to get a babysitter very often, so we schedule "date nights" at home. We'll actually ask each other "out" a few days in advance, so we'll both look forward to it and know not to plan anything else. What we do varies--sometimes we'll watch a movie together, sometimes play a game, sometimes we'll have a late romantic dinner together, sometimes just share a bottle of wine and talk....I'd let yourself be guided by what you two liked to do before DD was born. Some stuff can't be replicated--like going out to a concert--but other things--like going out for a nice dinner--you can do a version of at home. GL!
About 3 months ago, we purchased a Dream Maker 2 person (fits on our patio) spa from a Sam's Club road show. It was the best money that we EVER spent! It is completely self contained and plugs in to a regular outlet so you don’t have to pay for special wiring. Our two boys are in bed at 7:30 and we watch TV for 30 minutes to make sure they are down.
We typically make a drink or pour a glass of wine and head out back to the spa. We spend an hour or so talking about our day, the kids, work, current events and it is so nice and a good way to unwind. It has also sparked our romantic relationship ;-)
Good Luck and let me know if you want more info!
E.
My husband and I are the same way sometimes. We have started playing cards at night, or even board games. Sometimes we may even throw a little bet into the game and say the winner gets a back massage or something. It is free, fun, and gets us to talking. We really enjoy it!
Date night is SO important.
We made a deal together before our daughter was born 14 yrs ago that we would never forgo date night. It is important to have that quality time with each other. Date night helps keep the lines of communication open when it is just you 2.
We had a sitter every week (we have no family here so sitter fee was something on the priority list). At this point, our daughter is older and usually busy with friends, etc so we are not having to use that sitter fee anymore!! WHEE
You do not HAVE to go out to fine restaurants, sporting events, etc. Some of our dates have simply been spending time at the mall, going to a spring or fall festival (We love the Wildflower festival in May), the gym or I tag along when hubby plays a round of golf.
Plan something after your daughter goes to bed if you can't get a sitter. Pop open a bottle of wine, light a few candles and talk with no interference of children, tv and computers.
I have to say that I truly feel that date nights and a lot of communication has certainly helped us in our 20 yr marriage. Marriage is hard work with lots of ups and downs...keep the communication lines open.
Good luck!
Date nights are a must and don't have to be expensive. It could be as simple as swinging on some swings at the park and having a grown up conversation. It has made a huge difference for me and my husband because I posted a similar topic a few weeks ago. Write each other love notes/emails/text messages unexpectantly. You can even have date nights at home. Get a babysitter and then just go back home. BBQ, have a candlelit dinner, have a few drinks and get close. When the weather gets better, you can utilize the backyard or pool if you have one.
Yes-- find a show that you both can get into and have a TV date. I sit in my hubby's lap on the sofa, under a soft blankie, and we watch TV. You can also take a bubble bath together-- just sit in the warm water and talk if you want to. Play a board game-- that can be fun too. Just make an effort!!
Since your daughter is in bed so early, have dinner with your husband after her bedtime at least once a week. Make it special, it doesn't have to break a budget. Get a cheap bottle of wine and some candles. On those nights make the TV and computer off limits.
