Quality Time Ideas W/ 5 Year Old.

My daughter is 6 years old and she loves to play dress up and make-up she also enjoys playing with her dolls. So I spend time playing what she wants, when we play with the Barbie dolls and the baby dolls it gives her the ability to be herself, to say and do things that she wouldn't say if we were talking so I'm seeing her in a different light and she is opening up to me even though to her we are playing. If I see something that she said or did that I thought may be inappropriate or she needs me to shed some light - I wait a couple of days, find a book that may have some comparison and then just talk without making her feel that she did something wrong. Just some girl talk, she won't remember what she said or did when we were playing but she will probably remember the conversation.

Hope that helps you!

Hi there,

My kids are 7 now, but they (1 son and 1 daughter) would enjoy picnics at the zoo. we would also do on nice days a "parkathon" we'd visit several parks in the area and then vote on which one we liked the best and why. you can bring a couple of books, a ball and perhaps a kite. take a trip to the library and "pick out a good book" together.
just some thoughts.

I have a 5 yr old daughter too and I leave it up to her. I ask her what she wants to do. When time and money are tight we have fun making pancakes or waffles for breakfast. I let her at food coloring- what ever color combo she can think up- to the batter adn we see what the pancakes look like. Then she can add her toppings- usually sprinkles and honey (not the best breakfast but fun). She loves arts and crafts or even just pretending. She likes playing computer games with me (Webkins are fun). I think her favorite day from this summer was the day that I actually went along with her the entire day (this was hard) pretending she was a princess (from asking her to pick clothes from the royal wardrobe to her majesty's royal kitchen) I also have a 14 mo old and I was working full time so I know how hard it is. Have fun!

Did not read what ever one else wrote so if it is a duplicate I am so sorry.
It is hard when you work outside the home and your child is either in daycare or at school and sees you less that what she would like to. But stop and take a look at your daughter. What does she like to do?? that should help you decide what to do with her.
It is great that you have reading time together but I think what you really want is to have time to talk to your daughter and that will probably not happen with a scheduled event like nightly book time. It has to be a fresh idea....
Have you ever just sat down and done her finger and toe nails or let her do your hair. Get down on the floor with her to play Barbies or Legos. Go for a bike ride to the park, we still have a couple weeks of good weather left. When winter comes go sledding or teach her how to ski, if that is something you enjoy. Do a mother daughter over night at a motel while you husband stays home with the baby. Go to the American Girl store in Chicago. Or maybe just go out to lunch the 2 of you.
One thing that will drive a wedge between any mother and child is the TV or the computer. Don't do things in front of the TV or Computer. Gaming is another communication killer. I know lots of parent of 5 year old that sit and play video games with their child for communication time. Does not work. They are 5 years old they can't multi task. You say you go to the movies together and that is great but you can talk in the movies. You have to sit quietly not enjoy each others company.
i still say just stop think of your daughter, think of your self and I am sure you will come up with some great ideas.

Many Blessing on you Both,
S.

Hi R.,
I have 3 kids, 2 (BOY), 7 and 9 (GIRLS). I work from home but still like to have individual time. How about going to get your nails done and lunch? Somewhere you can talk. Movies are fun but there in no communication. Take her shopping for hair stuff or to feed the ducks at the park. GOOD LUCK!

While I too work full-time, I am a single mother, and my six year-old daughter has no siblings - so I don't have the added responsibility of making a spouse and another child happy, as in your situation. Still, I'll pass on some activities we share, in case they work for you as well:
1) Bowling.
2) Going to Baskin Robbins for an ice cream cone.
3) Selecting kids' books to borrow or purchase at a library or bookstore. If we're at a Border's or B&N, we usually stop for a snack at the cafe.
4) Selecting movies to rent at Blockbuster (she picks one and I pick one; we watch her pick together).
5) Board games. My daughter's favorite character is SpongeBob, so she and I play Bikini Bottom Life quite a bit.
6) I'm not much for cooking, but my daughter sometimes helps out with the few things I can prepare. For example, she mixes ingredients for pancakes or cocoa, while I perform all stove work.
7) Every week, my daughter and I have dinner out together. I give her a choice between two options, as in, "Would you like to eat at Wishbone or Boston Market tonight?" It is probably not possible for you to do this weekly, but perhaps you could make a restaurant meal together a monthly outing.
Repeatedly playing kids' board games and watching the same kids' videos over and over gets old fast. . . but, the stronger bond is worth occasional boredom.

My 5 year old loves to play Go Fish with me. We found a deck of cards that actually are fish doing funny things so she doesn't have to read numbers. She also likes to do puzzles together. Another fun thing is cooking together. My older daughter didn't have the interest but my 5 year old loves to dump, mix, etc. She can actually help me out by cutting fruit with a plastic knife while I fix the rest of dinner. She will also scrub veggies or fruit for me while I make the rest of dinner. Just having her with me in the kitchen is bonding. When time is no object we make cookies--even the slice and bake are fun at this age. She also likes me to do her nails. I found a nail polish that has the brush and polich together so it goes quickly and dries fast. Very chick-like and bonding time....good luck.

This is simple. Board Games. Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, Checkers, bingo, or simple momeroy games with a deck or cards.. Or if you are ok with minor messes.. Art Projects.. simple things that are seasonal..bird feeders from milk jugs..Christmas ornaments from packing materials, Hand prints and foot prints in brights colors ..framed for Grandma gifts, etc.. And then in the kitchen.. let her begin to help with making dinner.. she can tear lettuce for the salad, pour things into bowls ( make sure these are NOT HOT at first till she is more skilled, ..My kids started by making thier own sandwiches..spreading peanut butter and jelly with dull butter knives..Or making treats for family and friends.. Dipping pretzels, cookies, or fruit into melted chocolate and laying them on waxed paper to dry. The choclate was warmed in a microwave.1 min. then 15 seconds at a time till it was easy to stir...the chocolate was not hot enough to burn small fingers and hardened within minutes for a quick easy treat. I did this with young classes at schools as a Room Mom.( my youngest has Downs and I did it with his class..they loved it)

Hi R.- Well you haev gotten a lot of good ideas from other moms- here are a few more (I have 4 kids-3 of them girls ages 9,7 and 5) Taking a date day or as we call them "mystery trips"- the morton arboretum, naper settlement, any forest preserve or zoo. a mani/pedi party or a sidewalk chalk hopscotch game is fun at home. As for everday dinner conversation we try 4 truths and a fib- where the girls share 5 "bits of info about their day" and I (or my hubby and I if he's home) try to figure out which is true and which is the fib- or best and worst game(we each share the high and low point of the day)
Good Luck and enjoy your little girl
Beth
PS also my girls LOVE me telling them any story from my childhood I can remember.

Ask your daughter what she would like to do and do it within reason. Here are other ideas.
1) Go to the public library together to pick out books and maybe take the time to read them there to her there. Most libraries have a section to sit and read. The libraries have movies rent free so let her pick out a movie or two take them home and watch together. May be have a snack or a full meal.
2) Have her help plan a meal or two for the week, have her go with you to the store and help pick out the groceries you need. Then when the day comes have her help make the meal. Have her help you at other times from fixing meals to baking cookies and cakes.you fix supper.
3) Sit down and color in coloring books or draw/paint picture. pictures on paper.
4) Go for a walk, a nature hike, a bike ride, to the park, zoo, museum, swimming, roller skating at the local roller rink or out on the sidewalk. It depends on where you live.
5) Watch her favorite TV show with her.
6) Play barbies with her.
7) Go for an ice cream cone.
8) Look through old phototgraphs of you as a child, of her as a child and talk about things she did as a baby: when she first rolled over, sat up by herself, stood, strated walking. Even show her pictures of family members as children.
There are endless things you can do with your daughter.

hi R.,

You are a good Mom to want to create new ways to connect with your 5 yr old. I also know what a challenge it can be working full time while parenting.

I have a 5 yr old and I think all you have to do is carve out the time to make yourself 100% available to her - if she is like my 5 yr old, she will tell you what she wants to do! :-)

Letting her know that you are making time that is special just for her would likely be a nice beginning. When you've put in a full day of working / commuting / errands / cleaning I know how it can feel to still have the creative energy you need for playtime.

When I was a full time working Mom and my oldest was that age, we had a big bag of dress-up clothes she would drag out, no matter how tired I was I found the energy to play 'dress up'... okay sometimes all I had to do was sit there and she would put funny hats and jewelry on me and then we would put silly make-up on. Then she would dress up in different outfits and big shoes and put on little shows while I applauded. 'Tea Party' is also fun - after playing dress up, just put a little water in a play teapot and let her pour it into little cups and have cookies with it (also a nice way of teaching table manners while playing). I think it is just that undivided attention that is the key.

best of luck to you.

W.

I read of a wonderful idea that I still need to put into practice. Create a gratitude journal! Every evening as part of your bedtime routine, talk to your daughter about what she is thankful for that day. You of course have to do the same. Write the info down, draw pictures in the journal, add stickers, embellishments, a leaf she picked up. You will learn about her day without putting any pressure on her and she will learn about her mommy. Remember, it is a gratitude journal so try and stay positive but if the experience makes her open up to you about a problem, than it really is working!

My daughter will be 5 soon. One of our most favorite things to do is to go to the bike trails and walk with bags and collect wild flowers. Then we go home and make gorgeous arrangements together. It not only gives us time to talk but she also gets to be artistic and LOVES to show off her work to whoever comes over. Plus its free!! We have also done this in the winter and collected pine cones and such...we decorate them and make paper weights and magnets and also her favorite christmas ornaments. Hope you like this idea and get a chance to try it!!

R.,
Communication is a great way to start. I'm guessing she's in Kindergarten this year. Say "Tell me about your friends at school/teacher/storytime/centers/calendar time/art projects..." In addition, does the teacher send home a newsletter with things that the kids do at school? Say "Tell me about the book 'Mrs. Wishy Washy' that you're reading in school." Specific questions could spark memories from the day, getting her to open up the lines of communication.

Other ideas include: going to the library, going skating, playing dress up with your clothes and make-up, board games or card games, even just sitting down and singing together while she's in the bathtub. I'm cheap so I think of all the free things you can do together...but museums and book stores and malls have tons of fun places to hang out, too.

I'm a teacher and have a small bag of tricks, but you know what your daughter enjoys. I can guarantee that what SHE wants more than anything is Mommy's attention. My mom worked full time while I was growing up. Her nights were spent cooking, cleaning, and in a harried rush to get everything ready for the next day. I remember wishing she would just sit down and play a game with me instead of running around frazzled until bedtime. I'm sure you make your kids a huge priority, but they grow up so fast and you want to be the person they rely on more than anyone else in the world. That takes time, love, and lots of positive attention. Wishing you the best with your little one! :)

Print up a bunch of pictures of family members. Have her help you cut them out and paste them in an album. You can talk about each member and event as you work through the album.

Same with pictures of her over the past 5 years. Have her help you put together a little book about her. Doesn't have to be fancy - just a way to chat and have fun together.

I honestly didn't have time to read all the responses, so these may be repeats, but I use all of them with my almost 5 year old son. They all give us a chance to hang out and talk about the project at hand and whatever else comes up.

"Cook" together...meals, snacks, etc. It doesn't have to be complicated. My son loves to make "caterpillars" out of some bananas, peanut butter and pretzel legs.

Play games...Candyland, Chutes & Ladders, Go Fish or whatever your daughter likes

Go to the library to read and choose books to bring home.

Chat in the car while you're heading wherever. My son also likes to run errands with me, especially if it's just the two of us.

Color together.

Have her help out around the house. I don't mean give her chores, but let her help you when you are doing something...maybe putting silverware on the table at dinner time or helping with the dusting, etc.

Hope these help.

How about writing books together about your lives? You could use a scapebook type book or a binder so more stories and pages can be added.

I love to go out side with my son and watch the dragon flies and bats. We count them and wonder what they are eating. We also talk about the trees and other things in nature.

Have her help you with chores. It makes the chores go faster if you do it together. My son and I do that especially if it is gardening or outside repairs. I want him to know how to fix things and do indoor and outdoor work. If he were a girl I would feel the same. I am a single parent who works six days a week. I was very ill last year so there is no money for fun. Fun has to be free. So I do try to make our life fun and work together at the same time.

I think as working mom's we sometimes do not see and realize the opportunities right in front of us.

I also have a just-turned 5-year-old daughter, in addition to a 3-year-old son and a baby on the way in November. It can sometimes be difficult to connect when the day-to-day is so busy. What I find works the best is simply sitting down and joining in on whatever it is she is doing. Playing Barbies or asking what her Polly Pockets' names are can be a great way to show you are interested in her life. We also sometimes will just go on errands together without "the boys" or stop for a morning bagel after ballet. Now if we can just figure out how to get them to talk to us when they're teenagers! Good luck............

tape some Mr.Rogers shows and learn games to do with young ones. Don't you remember your parents playing with you? How about a band from pots and pans and wooden spoons? Hide & seek? Dolls? Baking cookies and letting her lick the bowl and decorate? Peek-a-boo? etc

I would recommend getting down on the floor with her and playing whatever it is she likes to play. Let her take the lead. Very simple. Talk but mostly listen. She will just love the time and attention to what she is into. OR take her to the park and do the same. What does she like to play, swing her, chase her, hide and seek..etc. Make sure it is relaxed and fun. No rushing. You will enjoy it just as much as she does!

Every night when I put my kids to bed I ask them what made them happy that day and what, if anything, made them sad or angry that day. I find out about stuff at school, issues with me and it creates a great conversation. Lately my daughter, the older one, has begun asking me about what made me happy and sad during the day. I love those extra minutes we share at the end of the day.

Are you distant or are you feeling guilty because you share your time with a younger sibling, a job and a wonderful husband??? I would think ANYTHING you do together would be quality time and I bet laid-back time with you is all she really needs. Reading books and snuggling is good. Making a basic sock puppet and having puppet shows. Do role playing with stuffed animals before bedtime - small skits that are funny but timely (i.e. pink elephant ate all the ice cream while we were gone and NOW he has a stomach ache....new stuffed animal on the block...even bullying and how to deal with it....etc...) "Bedtime stuffed animal shows" were my kids favorites! Making cookies, puddings, jello or basic dessert is always fun (great for skill-building in math and reading and you learn just how patient you are as a mom in the kitchen!) Crafts - being creative (i.e. making beaded necklaces /bracelets, decoupaged items). My kids are a little older now (13 and 10) but we still get into doing science experiments in the kitchen (will it float or sink? watching cereal move slightly with a magnet - more iron/more movement or what will a magnet stick to... mixing non-toxic kitchen ingredients together for a chemical reaction.....) Really...anything that you do together.... I'm sure she would love. I'm sure your decision to work full-time is for the betterment of your family - it's so hard to be a mom sometimes - there just aren't enough hours in a day (if there were more hours - we might use them to sleep!) Good luck!

Hi, I would ask her to tell you want she wants to do. Kids love this! Even tho it may not be your favorite thing - she will love the fact that she got to choose what you played. My boys loved hide-and - seek. or tickle monster. Have fun!

My grown daughter says her favorite memories with me involve the middle of the night.

Her all-time favorite Mama memory is one weekend night (I was a teacher and worked so so much). I woke her in the middle of the night and said, "Let's go outside." I had pillows and two comforters, plus drinks and snacks. We went out to our back yard, laid on one comforter and covered with the other, munched on our snacks, and looked up at the stars. We talked and talked. Then we fell asleep and didn't wake up till morning.

Another time I got her up to go outside with me and make snow angels. Once I got her up to go sledding. Once to French braid her hair and put makeup on her. A couple times I got her up to bake cookies. Lots of times I got her up to make popcorn and hot chocolate and watch a movie.

She says those nights still give her a safe feeling when she thinks of them, plus she says she felt so special and loved. We felt like we were the only two people awake on Earth. Sure, I was usually worn out the next day, so I only did that on nights when I didn't have work and she didn't have school the next day. It was fun.

I would suggest cooking and/or baking together. There are so many cookbooks out there now that are geared towards kids. I have recently seen a couple of cook books for young girls in a catalog called Lakeside Collection. I think they were $6.95 each.

You could easily buy (or make) chef hats and aprons to add to the fun. I believe Oriental Trading sells aprons you can decorate yourself-which means crafting together. :)

If the possibility of burns or injury concerns you, maybe you could stick to things that don't involve the oven or stove, like decorating candy apples or frosting pre-baked cookies or cupcakes or any of those "no-bake cheesecakes". Best of luck and enjoy your time together.

Everybody loves Playdoh! This can be quick or long. Also, my kids love to build forts and we do it in every room in the house. We just take big sheets and drape them over whatever. We play in them for awhile or lie in them and read, do puzzles, play boardgames, etc. and then we take take it down.

You can also play beautyshop, where you do each other's hair & nails. Or you can put on some music and sing, dance & jump around and be silly together.

How about a pottery place where you can paint your own pottery? I just did this with my daughter who is six yesterday, and it was very relaxing and fun.

A.

How about craft time? The 2 of you could go to Michaels or Joann's and get a kit or supplies and make things together. 5 is the perfect age for painting bags or t-shirts. Or you could get a foam craft kit.

We started with Chutes and Ladders and Candyland board games...also Sorry...3D tic tac toe...on Sunday afternoons...child picks the board game and also had parent dates where child got meal out with parent.

C. L
mom of 3

R., my daughter is 5, and last year we started doing "Spa Time" together. She loves it, it is super easy, and I can tell when she needs to connect with me when she starts asking for it more frequently.
For our special spa-time I made a basket of yummy things to do in the bathroom: bubble bath, mud for facials, candle, music, pedicure stuff, etc.
we start with kicking the boys (dad, brothers) out of the house and make a bubble bath together complete with the special wine glasses and sparkling cider.

We talk, laugh, play and truly connect while pampering each other. It is as wonderful to have her comb conditioner through my hair as it is to comb it through hers. We both come away feeling energized and refreshed, and each time is a little different (one time we found goggles and laughed ourselves silly trying to swim in the bathtub, and one time in the summer the bathtub was too hot so we ditched it and spent the entire time coloring in a special "adult" coloring book (mandalas).

Remember your daughter is just going to want to be with you, and have your undivided attention, so what you do should be simple and not too distracting.

Best of luck, and good for you for making special time with your daughter a priority!

N.

I have been wondering about the same lately as my dh and I are expecting baby number two, a little boy. I have had some good ideas that I am happy to share with you. I hope they help. We are going to a local scrapbooking store once a week to get out and work on her "big sister" scrapbook. A lot of the time, libraries are a good place to go to do this. Mommy and me classes fit well for some families. Yoga, dance, martial arts....Meals out are enjoyable. One on one time means a lot to the kiddos. :) Good luck! Hope I could help.

With my own daughter as with my Mom we would spend hours in the kitchen! She would tell me stories and I have passed that on to my daughter and now with my granddaughter. Engage her in the process. let her get messy and have fun with it! no meal is perfedt and the crazier the idea the more fun it is. You would be amazed at how much the can do. My first project especially for Fall is pumpkin pie...get the premade crust from the regridgerator section at the store, the can of pumpkin filling and the evaporated milk. follow the directions on the can of pumpkin and you just mix it, but it is such a big deal the house smells good and she will be so proud of what you did together! It gives you things to chat about! We used to make meals for the week when I was working with my daughter and she took great pride in making the selection from the freezer from what we had done over the weekend when we had more time! Setting the table is another great time to chat. Especially if you have special dishes for specific occasions or that are meaningful to family members!

Good Luck

As something simple to do, have her "help" you cook dinner in the evenings. It takes a lot of patience but with a little practice, you'll find that there are many steps in the cooking process that she can help with. It gives you guys a time to connect, kids love to cook, and it can be a big esteem booster for them. Just make sure it stays fun and doesn't turn into a chore for her. Kids get a kick out of being "mom's helper".

One of the things I remember fondly as a child with my Mom and sister was baking! My mother got some fancy aprons for us kids to wear like the June Cleaver type (wish I could find one now!lol) and we got to wear them. I like the idea of making your own and making it into a couple day project though! Anyhow, my mother had us do a recipe with the wrong ingredients. It asked for baking soda and since we did not have any she asked "What will we do" we used rootbeer soda. No Vanilla- nilla wafers worked great! I forget the other things but when it was all done we served them to Daddy and he took a bite like a champ with us giggling at our little conspiracy and then pretending he was going to be ill! I do not really remember ever talking with my mother until I was older but the fun we had with goofy things like this are things I will always cherish and remember!

I have already started cooking with my 2 year old and we have made brownies and cookies- the cookies from the premade dough, she adds ingredients to my dinners and with some help she even adds noodles or stirs things. My son was cooking by the time he was 7 and we got to spend lots of time doing this! The bad thing is that some things come with chores and we do the dishes together and even though it is not as much fun as making the mess it is our time... we make tons of bubbles in the sink to make it even more fun (and more messy)!!

Fall is coming... raking up the leaves and then making craft projects out of some of the large pretty ones. Pinecones with glitter on the tips for Christmas Ornaments.... I could go on and on! You can talk about the projects you are doing and what they can be used for... gifts, Thanksgiving day table decorations, what you will have for dinner etc.... I am sure you get the idea!

Do a search for crafts for youngsters... you will come up with lots of ideas! Good luck to you and many blessings!

I have a date night once a month with each of my kids (3 yo girl and 5 yo boy). They do not have to cost money but we always go out of the house. We got to the mall to window shop sometimes. Heck, even grocery shopping can be fun if your little sister doesn't get to go!

One of our faves is to go to the paint-your-own-pottery place (they are all over!) and paint a tile. They are usually only $4 or so, and it takes a lot of imagination to decorate it. I have quite a few of these already! My goal is to use them to tile a wall when we finally finish our basement. I always date them, so we will be able to see when that handprint was done.

By time my daughter was 5, I found that she enjoyed working out with me. So instead of planning my workout while she was in school or while I was enroute somewhere, i just made it happen in the morning beofre we left the house. I'd wake her up before her siblings and we would work out. Most of the time she couldn't do the whole workout with me but then she would "help me" by holding my feet during sit-ups or coaching me through a tough set of reps.

Also, whenever possible I took her with me to work/school for part or all of a day.

There are lots of other simple things she can do with you too, like making breakfast/dinner, getting dressed together for the day, once I even did a "spa day" with her. And a couple times with my son, I'd wake him up after everyone els was asleep to sit with me and watch an old show on tv or cuddle and read a book. (this only works for him because he is such a night owl)

About me: working-student-mom of 3 busy children, ages 7, 5 and 2.5

R.:

The best "connecting time" I ever had with my mother was when just the two of us were in the car. It didn't even have to be a long trip - 30 minutes or so. If there's someplace you and your daughter can regularly go to together, I expect you'll find the conversation will begin flowing.

Good luck!

C.

How about getting pedicures together? Or take a trip to Starbucks together--you can sip on coffee, she can enjoy one of their yummy snack treats or a "coffee" (hot chocolate, or choc milk) of her own? My 4 yr old daughter and I love to do these things together!
Good luck,
K.

I'm happy to hear that you are actively wanting to connect with your child. It's going to be easier than you think - you don't need to schedule "events" to do it. Just ask yourself, what is your daughter doing and what are you doing when you are home together before the bedtime routine. If she is playing by herself, get down on the floor and join her. Play dollies or cars or color or do whatever it is that she is doing. If at first she seems irked that you are trying to invade her game, just ask if you can play with some toy that she is not playing with and "play" beside her. She will no sooner realize that she really, really wants to play with her mommy. Or, she might just start talking to you about stuff knowing that you are near, while she continues to play in her own way. Or, if you are busy with chores and making dinner - ask her to get involved. Often times we shoo our children out of the kitchen while we make dinner. She can easily help "prepare" something. Sometimes I just give my son the large canister of rice, a spoon, a bowl and a measuring cup and tell him that his "project" is to measure rice. He happily engages in some food play and chatters to me all the while. If you or your daughter need a little more structure, then schedule homemade pizza for dinner a few nights a week. She can certainly help you prepare it.

Hi R.,

I know this would take a little time, but do you subscribe to any parenting magazines? They almost always have little craft or fun activities in there. I am starting a collection of those to do with my 18-mo when she gets a little older. Some of them are silly and you'd probably never do, but some of them are quite good.

Good luck,
MC